Juliansbennet​:

texts | palmer bros.

jason: aren't what?? nate you know i don't understand your memes i don't know what "yknow....👀" means

jason: i mean he's arrogant and i have to leave every time he rehearses because it gets under my skin but he's not /terrible/. unlike josephine.

jason: honestly, yeah i'm down. parents will be very disappointed in our sacrilege but whatever

nate: it's not a meme, GRANDPA! i was just trying to have some couth and double check that you & mathias aren't doing the horizontal tango? ....taking a trip to pound town? .......playin hide the sausage?

nate: fucking, jason

nate: hell yeah. meet me outside the castle in 20 min. ive got a half bottle of gin, two candles, a mortar & pestle, and three books w/ weird Latin phrases and drawings. let's get weiiiiiird

ofmadsle​:

— ✶ 

Mads couldn’t help her laughter even if she tried, and he’s right. It paints a pretty picture. She could see Julian going in with it, and the small chaos the three of them could make together. “Imagine how cursed the play actually would be with us. Should we create a conspiracy theory?” She grins, though she was sure there was plenty of that going on. She was just as excited as him. But, she knew she should at least be honest. A witch wouldn’t be a bad role, she enjoyed them as well. Alas, the heart knew what it want, so she may have to break Nate’s just a bit.

“You know, while I can save the ass kicking for a different time, I was actually thinking of Lady Macbeth. Can you picture it? Sexy murder queen in all her 5′3 glory?” She laughs, because of course she has to make light of it to ease her anxiety surrounding such a decision. “Though, I think we should be the witches anyways. Halloween’s passed but it would be fun. Do you think I could grow a beard in time? I bet mine would be magnificent.” 

“ugh, well you know how i feel about lady ‘beth. and as one of your closest BFFs, while i’m selfishly thinking about all the trouble we’d be blamed for...i’m also super happy for you and will be your biggest cheerleader in going after, arguably, one of willy’s most complex female characters. which isn’t saying much, but y’know.” nate couldn’t help but grin at her, proud of mads going for the gold. what did she have to lose? what did any of them have to lose anymore? “mads le as lady macbeth. sounds about right. i mean, i can totally believe you’d conspire to kill a man.” that joke kinda hits different, since a man has actually died, but nate decides not to dwell on it. but he looks up, and they’re just outside the refectory, near where they were a few nights ago. he glances in mads’ direction.

“but you know what? let’s fuckin’ do it. i’m always down to dress up like a witch on any given day for absolutely no reason at all.” nate smiles, and makes a mental note to go snooping through the costume & makeup dept. later to see if he could get his hands on some beards. “not that i don’t already have an idea, but what made you go for lady m? i feel like a lot of people — gender be damned — might be gunning for that part. hell, the third years might try to show us up. it is the last show,” and the moment nate says it, something clicks. it’s their last production together as a cohort. and without orson. something about it feels super ominous, especially in the wake of the events from the masque ball, but he hopes it’s just his nerves.

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚌 & 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚗​: 

“tybalt, the reason that i have to love thee, doth much excuse the appertaining rage, to such a greeting: villain am i none; therefore farewell; i see thou know'st me not.”

teddy is having the time of his life playing the lead young lover, romeo. one of his favorites to play, ted has memorized the lines since he was sixteen. so he is trying to make the most of it, trying to enjoy it and forget the policemen in the audience or the heavy weight of orson’s absence. if he was still here, teddy knows he wouldn’t be playing romeo. so he is giving it his all. as a last fuck you to his mentor. 

and so he plays the part of the lover trying to make amends with the in-laws. 

“i do protest, i never injured thee, but love thee better than thou canst devise, till thou shalt know the reason of my love: and so, good capulet,—which name i tender, as dearly as my own,—be satisfied,” he finishes his line with the most charming smile he can muster. it’s not hard, trying to charm his way around julien. it’s almost playful, the way he looks at him, hoping tybalt would understand romeo’s attempts at peace.

but they all know it won’t be like that. and tragedy, much like in real life, is just about to ensue.

( @aldysfool​ )

nate had been buzzing for the past two weeks since he got the assignment to prepare for arguably the best character in the play. there hadn’t been a day when he rehearsed his lines, or gone over every single piece of stage combat sebastian taught them. mercutio was complex by design; flamboyant, yet provoking, cynical, yet insightful. nate happily stepped into this role.

“o calm dishonorable, vile submission,” nate moves to purposefully - but gently - push teddy behind him, rolling his eyes in the process. he faces his peer, and with a wink, “alla stoccata carries it away.” nate loosens the cape draped around his shoulder and calmly folds it over before handing it to romeo. this is the scene of r&j, and dammit, his goal was to die in style. nate reaches for the hilt of his weapon strapped to his side and he calls out for his dueling partner, “tybalt, you rat-catcher!” nate unsheathes his rapier and makes a swift turn to point at julian. nate tries not to imagine julian actually managing to kill him, so he flashes his best grin as he finishes the taunt: “will you walk?” giving nate a character with more motives than making the audience laugh? orson hobbs has left the chat. ...wait, he’s dead. fuck.

he breathes and he focuses back on good ol’ mercutio - who extends a cat metaphor while managing to look somewhat intimidating. “will you pluck your sword out of his pitcher by the ears?” nate tosses his weapon between his hands as he makes a wide circle around julian. nate goes to make eye contact, “make haste,” and taps the rapier twice against the ground, and it reminds him that it’s real metal which stresses him out - but nate clenches his jaw and gets into position anyway. “lest mine be about your ears ere it be out.”

/@juliansbennet​

fmk the rest of the fourth years

"am i making this complicated on purpose? nah. but i’ve got opinions.”

fuck: 3some w/ hudson + teddy (texting them both after this, actually); zahra, only because we would tear each other apart if we got married; jonah, because he is tense as fuck; chandler, because i like their vibe + the whole affair with orson was kinda hot, not gonna lie.

marry: hmm, well harry, but then i’d divorce her so she & mads can be endgame; mads, but then she’d divorce me so she & harry can be endgame; lexie, because she kinda scares me and i like that; helen, even though we’d probably be better as besties; julian, because duh, who wouldn’t marry julian?

kill: well grace, but only in self-defense (even though we all know it’s coming); mathias, because no one should be allowed to be that pretty and that self-centered. it’s unfair.

+

k(iss) on the forehead, because he’s my lil’ bean: jason.

when: immediately after the released police statement; where: the lake; who: @pvlmer​.

nate was sure he was about to lose it. sure, when he had gotten pulled away for a moment to chat with the detectives some time ago, he had convinced himself that everything would be fine. but now, sitting at the edge of the lake, nate did not feel the same way. like suddenly with that statement, everything was that much more real and it scared him. but not just for his sake. jason. nate had called him earlier and told him they needed to meet, but didn’t say for what. he just knew it was about time they talked. about everything. with thoughts burning a hole in his head, nate glances back when he hears footsteps approaching. he throws another stone across the lake. it goes right in. “i swear i’m better at this. at least, i used to be.”

𝖉𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊 𝖉𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊, 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘  — nate’s audition for macbeth.

alriiiiiiiight, so! a few ooc notes: nate loves macbeth, but i genuinely don’t think he ever really considered he was the protagonist/hero type, so that’s why he chooses to steer away from those roles. should he have given it an honest shot? i’m not sure ─  i don’t think he’ll know what to do with himself if he even got the title role, macduff, or even malcolm. frankly, i just don’t think he’d be inspired enough by them to put his all into it. anyway. enjoy! // triggers: mentions of drug use. word count: 1400+? google doc for better viewing!

so, here’s the thing: nate didn’t know what the fuck was happening anymore.

ever since heidi made the announcement of their spring play, he had been feeling one step behind everybody else. while most of his classmates jumped on rehearsal spaces, monologue runs, and every other kind of audition prep and/or ritual, nate couldn’t seem to share in their enthusiasm. and it scared him. there was something eerie about it all ─ like some kind of storm had formed over the department and no one seemed to notice, or worse, care. or maybe they were better at hiding their fears than he was. nate had tried his hardest to prepare for this audition properly, but he hadn’t been able to focus long enough to even give it an honest try.

serious talk about what happened that night had pretty much ceased amongst the group, but now it felt like no one had given the winter masque a second thought. did everybody know something he didn’t? either way, he had been so distracted that the auditions came sooner than he realized. nate considered just waltzing in and recycling one of his faves from hamlet, because as much as he wanted to go for the big roles, he felt like this wasn’t the play for him to take that risk. nate already had a lot of other shit to deal with on a daily basis, and he convinced himself he would be a liability if he even considered the thought of going for, say, the title role. and in all honesty, the amount of emotional and psychological lifting he would have to do in order to portray macbeth (lady ‘beth or macduff for that matter) accurately was something he just didn’t have the capacity for at the moment. 

so that’s where he was the day of auditions. the waiting was always the easiest part for him ─ being able to send quick texts or share jokes backstage was where nate shined. he didn’t think about the stage, or heidi, or the audition piece, because right now what mattered most was making sure other people felt comfortable and strong going into their auditions. lately nate had grown introspective as fuck, and he didn’t really understand why. 

or maybe he did, but he didn’t want to acknowledge the facts as they were: he and teddy were having their drug-induced fun, but it was unsustainable by the way things were going; jason was probably guilty for something, and nate was sad that he was still too afraid to just confront him; discovering orson’s body had done something to nate, and he hadn’t stopped worrying about his own mortality since. he didn’t want to end up like that ─ drugged up, miserable, and alone. nate wanted to be this upstanding, nice guy, but there was this heaviness that had been creeping up on him after all these years of destructive behavior. and of course everyone saw the silly, carefree nate who was so easily relatable and funny all these years that it would be near impossible to believe by almost anyone that he had a personality beyond popping vallies like candy and sharing internet memes in group chats at 3 am. fuck. 

he doesn’t hear his name at first, because he’s too busy thinking about a lot of other shit, but then he hears his name called once more, and nate comes back down from the stratosphere for two seconds to remember oh yeah, he has something really important to do right now. like audition. nate walks out on the stage just like every other audition for alderidge, except this time when looks up and sees heidi’s face, a fire ignites under his ass.

“yo. my name is nathaniel palmer and…,” he resists the urge to say, ‘and welcome back to my youtube channel’, “i’ll be auditioning with iago’s soliloquy from act two, scene three of othello.” maybe it’s the look on his face or how he takes a few steps backwards from the edge of stage, but heidi doesn’t verbally respond and nate’s thankful for it. his nerves are already bad enough, so he closes his eyes and counts his deep breaths. he tries to remember something of what he’s learned before. the exhale expels the fear, the inhale centers him in place. by the time he’s opened his eyes, iago takes form. 

“And what’s he, then, that says I play the villain?”

at base, iago is written off as one of willy’s cruelest characters; he’s manipulative, cold, and intense as hell. but nate understands a part of iago, though, where who he presents to the world is not always how he feels behind the closed doors. honest iago, just like honest nate, has dark tendencies. but while nate has chosen to run from his (via literal running, drugs, or sex), iago sees no other choice but to embrace it. and here, in a rare moment, nate allows himself to embrace it too. where does that darkness come from? nate’s eyelids are low and he moves slowly, but each step is calculated in a wide S shape towards downstage center. in this moment, there are only two players: nate as the predator, and heidi as his accomplice and his prey. "─His soul is so enfettered to her love / That she may make, unmake, do what she list, / Even as her appetite shall play the god / With his weak function.” his breath is a little shaky, so he takes a beat to collect himself. 

if orson could see him now, he’d probably laugh to spite nate’s attempt at pulling out something else besides the humorous, non-threatening fool. but that’s where orson was always wrong. humor was present in everything, especially in moments of high drama and danger ─ like conspiring to see the downfall of one’s appointed general, for example. and as long as humor is there, nate knows how to tap in. so he smiles then laughs, short and dry, before switching tactics and continuing with the piece. that’s the thing: navigating iago was second nature for nate, because he had become an expert at thinking on his feet and blending in wherever seemed necessary. it’s what he had to do to survive, and he wasn’t going to apologize for that. neither did iago. 

 “─When devils will the blackest sins put on, / They do suggest at first with heavenly shows, / As I do now.” 

iago was basically airing out nate’s dirty laundry right there on the stage, because holy shit, how else would devils know how to act, how to behave, how to charm like their heavenly counterparts? maybe they didn’t ─ but fallen angels did. and nate never once felt like he was an angel, even when he was young and his family tried convincing him otherwise. he had a lot to be grateful for of course, but there was an anger that lurked deep below the surface. it manifested in his bad behavior in school. in his drug abuse. in his relationships. and that was no one’s fault, he’s had to realize. even though he wants to blame someone so badly. anyone, really. maybe that would help him hurt less. 

the audition comes to a close, and the room is so quiet he can hear his heart beating through his chest. heidi breaks the silence at first, but nate feels a little lightheaded, so he non-verbally motions for her to hold her thought. putting on iago’s jealousy, his speech patterns, and his demeanor takes a little more effort to let go, so nate has to shake him out. literally. exhale to expel, inhale to center. 

damn, he misses his therapist. 

after another few seconds of obnoxious bouncing around, nate turns on his heel and beams in heidi’s direction. honest, silly nate was back in control. he hears her question for the second time and doesn’t miss a beat, “oh, sorry i didn’t mention it earlier. that was my audition for one of the weird sisters ─ the first witch, if you wanna get more specific.” she looks at him expectantly, but his grin refuses to falter. what else had she been expecting from him? nate thinks about his classmates, especially jason, and doubles down on his decision. it would be better this way. “and no, i’m not interested in other roles.” nate crosses his arms behind his torso and sways from side to side. there’s a lot more he could say, and in fact, a lot has already been left unsaid. but that was always the case, wasn’t it? 

nate shrugs, and just like that, his audition is over.

“what can i say? i guess i’ve got a thing for sexy, bearded hags.”

nate palmer as ᴇʀᴏꜱ, ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴅ ᴏꜰ 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮.  

#tb halloween ‘17 — ♥ “alexa, play greedy by ariana grande.”

harryzhangs​:

harry snorts, trying to keep her attitude about it light and unaffected. a good sport, that’s what she has to be. it’s what she’s always been. no one needs to know just how fucking exhausting it’s become. “don’t wear it out, i’m not sure how they even fit the whole thing in one line on the cast list,” she catches up to nate with a grin. “you excited for the read-through? i’m considering starting a betting pool on the fights that’ll probably break out over the course of this whole process.”

nate’s eyes grow wide with mischief, “oh, you know i want in on this. i’ve got ten bucks and a bottle of cheap tequila that says josie will throw a temper tantrum and get herself kicked out of the play before hell week.” nate laughs and slows his pace towards the building, because honestly class is dumb and they’ll be out of here before they know it, as he considers the circumstances. as much as he was excited to dig into macbeth, he just couldn’t shake a thought. “heidi really just said ‘fuck it’ and gave this group of accused conspirators of real murder the chance to act in a play about murder, huh? i think it’s kinda badass, not gonna lie.”

 harryzhangs​:

“badass is one word for it,” harry grins. she just can’t get used to the idea that half the school, maybe more, considers all of them to be murderers. as hilarious as it would be to watch josie throw a tantrum and get kicked out of the show, as nate suggested, everyone’s usual antics feel rather tainted by that fact. harry doesn’t know how nate does it, putting on a joking front like this when he was the one to find orson laying there, bled-out and lifeless. he’s got to be a far better actor than her, just for that. “hopefully she’s just really into the irony of it, and not playing some kind of sick joke on us. that would put a serious damper the inevitable rehearsal storm-outs from… josie, you said? my money’s on mathias first.”

nate laughs as he considers the idea that heidi would be capable of putting the fourth years through a psychological thriller like macbeth only to get them busted for actual murder when it was all said and done. “nah, heidi doesn’t seem like the type to put that much effort into a long, convoluted plan like that. ...oh shit, unless she was orson’s other lover and this is her revenge....! dun dun dun!” nate laughs and shakes his head, trying his best to keep a light disposition about the possibility of what any of them could be facing. was there any other choice? after a moment, nate’s mind drifts back to the whole ‘co-conspirators’ angle, and he looks over at harry. he wonders about how much she knows, but more importantly, how much she’s willing to share. “but hey, you’re easily one of the smartest people in this bunch. ...i wanna know what you really think.” nate looks around to make sure no one else might be around, “it’s still wild to even say out loud, but there can’t be an actual murderer among us, right?”

texts | palmer bros.

nate: j

nate: jasonnnnnnnnn

nate: how ya feelin, champ?