Hey There,

he thinks he gave me scars,

scratched the old ones.

he has not given me tears, because all he has given me is  happiness beyond words

the intensity of your love is what brings me closer to you, closer to your love and beyond all to life

I know I cried. I know I should not have. 

but that’s what i am. 

tears are my mates and sadness my pal. 

you have not brought them to me, they stayed from before.

I am healed not from what happened today, but I am healed from my old scars, not by time but by your love.

so my love, don’t take the blame, take credit for bringing me back to life,

coz, i owe this to you and your love

I went to the ocean today

I felt blue and thought it would help

But the ocean seemed strange,

There was this feeling of being full, choked up with emotions

I couldn’t see the horizon,

It felt as if the ocean was one with the sky

I know there will be a scientific reason behind this

But my mind couldn’t think of it

All I saw was the ocean being much sad than I

It was as if it had been missing something…

 .

The beach was emptier than usual,

There were a few surfers

Some who had mastered the art

While some training under them

There were little boys who were taken aback by the waves

And there were men who stood meddling through the waves

 .

I was sitting there on a rock, with a book in hand…

I wanted a distraction from the chaos in my head

I was blue from dawn

 .

There was this old lady, who walked up to me,

She said I was in her spot

I couldn’t stop myself from imagining Sheldon from the big bang theory

I moved and made way for her to sit…

 .

She was staring at the waves with ease in her face,

Those wrinkles felt, they had seen much calmer oceans

I couldn’t agree more

 .

And out of all these people, walking, sitting, and playing

Far away were two dogs, playing in the ocean,

Running around, enjoying the pleasant evening

 .

It seemed as if they had just been left out after many days

When man has himself been locked down

 .

They ran towards me

The little one jumped up and started licking my hand

 .

This one time, I wasn’t angry that someone was disturbing me reading

I patted him, and he was so happy

I couldn’t resist a smile

 .

That was it, as soon as I smiled I saw him run away

Back to playing with his big friends

Who was not just playing with him, but was also guarding him

 .

That little boy made me smile, and looked into my eye with so much love

I returned home, with a broader smile, a lighter heart and a better mood

It took me a while to realize that I no longer hold a place in your world. I should have stopped trying to fit myself in, a long time back.

Life just turns upside down one day and you wonder what you did wrong. You realize that you had never anticipated this turn.

Everyday I mourn over the loss of people from my life. Everyday I wish I had a chance to talk, to tell you what you think is wrong. I wanna prove myself to you. I'm not what you think I am.

I miss being surronded by my people.

I miss people listening to all the crazy stuff I say.

now, neither are there people nor do I say stupid stuff.

I miss me.

And finally I realized that you don't have to be with people, surrounded by friends and family, to be you. Coz all you need is you.

I'll bounce back

I'll be fine

After a long time I'm giving a chance to hope.

Coz people, they leave, they stay at times too its upto them. If you mourn you'll just keep mourning.

The sooner you realize that your questions have no answers, you'll stop asking them.

I don't seek answers anymore. It's not people I rely on but rather me.

You stay, you leave, it's your choise. I'm gonna stay the same. I'll be fine.

Let's hope so. Well if you ask @glitteringhuman he'd say let's believe so.

I believe this time. I'll be back, it's just a matter of time.

Vikram from the coffee shop

I was new in town then, had not known what to do and where to go on a boring Sunday afternoon. I took my bike and went to the mall and the first shop that my eyes fell on was the book store. I went in brought “The Girl on the Train” by Paula Hawkins. Well, a lot of people had suggested that book to me and finally when my eyes fell on the book I couldn’t resist it. I brought the book and headed to CCD. I don’t know whether it was because of Sunday, or because everyone was bored, the coffee shop was crowded like never before. Thankfully I got a table for two, went in, sat down, ordered a cup of hot cappuccino and started reading the book. Just when I finished the third of fourth page, a guy came in and distracted me. I get very annoyed when someone disturbs me in the middle of reading. I looked up,

“Is this seat taken? The café is crowed and literally there is no other seat available so do you mind?“

A tall guy with great physique and just amazing eyes, a guy to whom you could never say no

“Sure, no one is going to come here”

“Thank you”

Well, I continued with my book and he got into his business. Surprisingly he too had a Paula Hawkins’ book in hand. “One Minute to Midnight” I was about to ask him whether he had read mine, when he noticed the book in my hand.

“That’s a good book, I very recently read that and trust me the suspense is good”

“Oh! I was about to ask you the same. Actually this is the first book of the author that I am trying and I have no idea how it’s going to be. I have heard great review about it from friends and so thought would give it a try.”

“Well, you won’t be disappointed, trust me. Even I started with that book of the author and this is my third. I just am not able to stop”

“That’s nice to know. Well if its reader certified then I am sure it would be worth it.”

In no time I realized that we had both closed our books which is quite unusual about me because I never stop reading and talk, otherwise I am very talkative but when I have books I just am absorbed in it. But this guy had a different charisma; he just made me do the unthinkable. We talked about a lot of stuff like books, other authors, how Indian authors have developed in the past few years, criticized a lot of authors and surprisingly both of us agreed on a lot of things. Normally my taste of books is bizarre, I don’t completely follow any author or genre, I just like to experiment new authors, genres and different styles. And when I say this to people everybody thinks I am weird but he was just like that. It was amazing to find a person like that. I had associated and connected to a complete stranger in no time.

We had talked for hours and after a long time I realized that I had to go. I did not want to leave him and go anywhere but I had to.

"It was great talking to you, but I have to go now, so see you again if possible”

“Oh yes even I need to be somewhere I just dint realize how time passed. It was great meeting you too.”

“Bye”

“Hey, I’m Vikram, by the way”

He extended his hand.

“I’m Razia” I replied and we both shook hands and parted our ways.

That was when I realized that we had talked for hours and dint even bothers to ask each other’s name. It’s been a year and a half now since this incident. Whenever I see that book I remember him, but even though I had been back to the coffee shop again a couple of times I dint meet him.

To be honest in a way it is good because maybe it won’t be the same if we meet again, because that one day that I had spent with him was wonderful. It was nice and I don’t want to ruin it with another meeting. Sometimes it’s just good with one meeting alone. If that person come back in your life and takes a permanent place it might not be the same.

Please don’t fall in love with me. Just don’t. I am merely giving you a word of advice or rather a word of caution for I’m not worth your time. I am a mess, and a complicated one at that. You can’t handle someone like me for I got too many issues even with myself. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anyone because I always knew I will never be good enough for anybody. Before you blabber on how you accept me or you won’t get tired of me, know the real me. Who is the real me by the way? I don’t even know it myself. I tend to push people away before they get too close for they will also get tired and leave me like everyone else. Then I will blame myself. See? I even get tired of myself too. I always feel down and get sad without a particular reason. I don’t want to be a burden to anybody especially to you. Please don’t fall in love with me. I am just saving you from the hassle.

c.i.j. // no trespassing (via elementalalchemist)

my exact same feelings right now. exact same way i wanna explain <3

I see this building everyday

Standing tall and bold

And every time I pass it,

I feel it has something to tell me

I wish it had emotions

Because people around me do not

Even if they have they don’t show anymore just to me but to anybody

Emoticons today express emotions better than faces

And buildings speak more than people

Maybe I’m paranoid

Seeking emotions in objects

But trust me

People don’t show emotions anymore

The faces look pale and eyes moist

The mouth opens to speak

But lips close and a vague smile pops

It’s difficult to know

You seem fine but you’re not

You seem stable but you’re not

It’s hard to understand

Because you don’t speak

Nor do you smile

All I see is a vague smile that’s hiding

All the emotions I want to know

I wish you burst out

Because the building I see shows more emotions than you do

I connect to it more that I do to you

Life turns upside down in just a matter of seconds.

I have made friends and enemies here,

Where I envy and love certain people

I do hate a few.

In just a day I'm leaving this place

Packing a lot of memories and moments

Which is heavier than my luggage.

I have made some friends for life

Whom I might not call everyday

Or think about all the while

But the place they have in my life is irreplacable

I have always been scared to let people get close to me

The fear of being vulnerable

The fear of getting so close

That if they leave I can't survive.

Very few people make an impact when they leave

But only a handpicked make an impact staying.

Today when I count those few I'm glad I have them

But I'm scared of leaving them and going

I'm not just gonna miss them

I'm gonna miss their constant presence and the impact they make

I wish tomorrow never ended

Because the next dawn is an end

To a lifetime of memories and joy

Now I realize that moving out is indeed sad

I don't wanna go

I don't wanna go...

In the house of the dead man.

Today I had to wake up early. My grandpa's maternal uncle had passed away and my granny had to go. I have never met this guy in my life, but I was dragged because there was no chauffer available at home.

When you go to a house of a dead person, you expect silence and mourning. But it was not at all like that. Forget talking good or bad about the dead person. People were delighted that they were all meeting after a long long time.

I hear women buzzing around me. They were enquiring about everything. The new jewellery brought, the new property accquired, about someone's wife and yet someone else's child's marriage. The discussions were endless.

Yet the dear and near ones of the diseased were sobbing. And whenever anyone came accross them, tears started flowing as if only a switch was to be pressed.

This made me wonder how easily humans change their emotional state. One moment its gossip and the next moment its sorrow. How?

And on my way back my granny was complaining how many did not acknowledge her presence. The occation and the dead man are forgotton even before the body was taken. Human still remain the most complex being...

“Giving you pain is not the only way life knows to make you suffer. Sometimes taking the pleasure out of you will suffice.”

lsr

Stop associating success with age.. Stop associating happiness with age... Stop associating journeys with age... If something makes you happy and you are able to do it now do it! If you can't, wait and do it when you can! It doesn't matter how old you are what matters is how happy you are how content you are... Age is JUST a number