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That's what's so special about him!
That he is not the kind of character (for his role, in fact) one would expect to have this deep, actually introvert kind of personality. And it clashes so much with his 'shouting order-self' we get to see while he is on action, but I think that EXACTLY because he has actually that kind of personality there wouldn't have probably been any other ways than that for him to relate with people around him.
Also, it's such a great depiction of how in the end everyone has to morph their own selves -even painfully- in the shape more fitted to survive in the enviroment they have to be. Which is sad but it's exactly how his character came to be and it's what makes him special because it makes him not only a vengeful warrior but also a broken neurodivergent human who has to face a world that has not enough space for people like him.
A dragon in the darkness, indeed.
thinking about flint's awkwardness around people, one of my favourite acting choices made by toby stephens (who truly never misses) is in the scene where thomas goes to kiss flint. he cups his face, holds his gaze and flint looks at him trapped. but when he comes closer flint just. flinches. his face jerks slightly back as if to avoid a blow. his are eyes pained like he's already been hit. it's such a panicked little twitch, instinctive and quickly tamed, that i hesitate to put it to rational considerations about the consequences of kissing a man. i always felt it was a moment of profound shyness and unease in the face of tenderness. again, i find it really endearing and i am forever surprised they went for this complex mix of sweetness, vulnerability and strength and competence in a male protagonist of a show covering the role of a warrior leader.