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wuegh

2 weeks ago

freelancer analysis pt1

freelancer is a really interesting character. most people have noticed that they seem to always “push their feelings aside” while pushing their friends feelings to the forefront, but i think it’s more than that. i actually think their feelings aren’t even a thought in their mind—that they really don’t notice or even care about things they go through unless someone else shines light on the situation. so here are things that led me to believe that:

the kody situation. we could say that their lack of initial reaction was due to them not behaving knowledge of bridging, but even after huxley explains it to them they have this sort of..lack of response. it’s everyone else around them that really seems to care—they’re the ones who let freelancer know actions need to be taken. and only then do they do something. they don’t bring the situation up themselves, like in the “meeting up” vid with hux, it’s only when he says he wants to talk about it do they say it’s okay. even when kody confronts them it doesn’t seem like they care about the situation, it’s lasko who jumps in to defend them.

they always divert attention from themselves to their friends. i even remember in an audio with huxley, he’s asking about their life and they turn it around to his. they do this in audios a lot, answering questions briefly and then listening to their friends talk about their feelings.

i’ve seen people upset about the damn crew seemingly not comforting freelancer regarding inversion, and i’ve also seen people claiming that it could have happened behind the scenes—to which people respond by saying this is an audio channel and anything that relevant would be made into an audio or at least referenced..which it wasn’t. i do agree, but i believe it’s intentional. and here’s why:

i believe fl didn’t want to be comforted, they wanted to help the others. yes their friends care about them, but fl is so far removed from their feelings they would never bring them up. it’s not even a thought in their mind which is a huge problem. even when gavin comforts them in his audio, it’s because he feels that something’s wrong with fl, and i believe if he didn’t have the means to do so he wouldn’t have noticed. not because he doesn’t care, but bc freelancer doesn’t hide their emotions in an intentional way but more so by way of not caring about it themselves. it doesn’t seem to be relevant unless others make it so

i also believe they introduced everyone to each other because they didn’t want to be the center of their friends lives. for background, i’ve seen people say they don’t like how fl was “pushed inside” in that audio (bowling), like huxley and damien focusing on each other the whole time or gavin joking around about sleeping w lasko. ppl have expressed that fl is the listener so it’s odd that their friends barely acknowledge them. i think this was also intentional, to shed light on fl’s character. here’s why:

before this audio, things may have gotten to close for comfort for fl. not in a “i don’t want you to be my friends that much” but more in a “i don’t want to be the center of your lives” way. their friends (including gavin) all previously implied that fl really was their only or closest friend. huxley says being around them is the first time he’s felt seen, that people always use him and that he’s others friends but no one’s his friend. he says it’s different with fl, that he feels he can finally “be himself”. damien says that fl was his first friend at d.a.m.n, since he would always stay in his apartment focusing on school and that people didn’t bother to get to know him. lasko pretty much says the same; that fl was their closest friend. and gavin ofc felt the same, saying that he was finally treated like a person instead of some sex object.

i believe when fl heard this, they recognized it meant they would be seen. it seemed like everyone was sort of pushing them to the center of their lives, which made them uncomfortable because they want to be hidden. they want to be there for others, not so much for others to be their for them. if everyone pushed them to the center, it would be much harder to hide. this is even evident with the kody situation—damien only found out bc of lasko and lasko knew bc huxley knew lasko,,etc. they recognized, maybe not even consciously, that their friends would pay attention to them, and introducing everyone to each other was a way for them to remove the focus from themselves and for everyone to be their for one other.