Star Wars Female Oc - Blog Posts

Our Own Choices

Chapter 3

After Rex said that he would let me go on some less dangerous missions with him, I've been training harder than ever. I'm still better at melee than shooting pistols or blasters and Rex has taught me how to disarm explosives and use some of those droid poppers on droidekas.

I haven't joined him on any battles yet, but when he told me that I could help him hunt down General Grievous on Saleucami a few days ago, how could I say no to that?

I've gotten a set of clone trooper armour for myself, I've made a few modifications to them considering I'm still quite short, about 163cm for now. Rex even gave me the permission to paint my armour black to blend in with the night sky if I ever needed to, and I added some orange highlights. I've got some grenades clipped to my belt, and a knife compartment up my sleeve. My helmet has a voice modulator so that the others don't recognize that I'm a girl by my slightly higher pitched voice.

I fly a ship to Saleucami and I see a bunch of jedi cruisers making their way down to the planet's surface, and I follow them. When we land, I see a bunch of speeders heading down from the cruiser and Rex and General Kenobi walking out. I run towards them.

"Who's this?" General Kenobi asks.

I awkwardly stand behind Rex, not sure what to say.

"His name's Aris. He's on the younger side, but he's a good soldier. He's just a little shy," Rex says. I look up at him. "I'm not shy."

I can see General Kenobi's eyes widen slightly when he hears my name, but it's not that obvious to Rex or any of the others. 

The general turns to Rex and says that we're gonna go towards the wreckage of the landing transport first.

"Go get a speeder," Rex nudges me in the side and we both go to get a speeder each before we head off with some walkers.

The greenery of Saleucami feels so different than the barracks and machinery that I'm used to, it makes me feel a lot more calm. I mostly move behind the walkers and other speeders, so that they hopefully won't pay much attention to me.

We reach Grievous's ship in a while, and some of the other troopers are checking out the wreckage, while I'm staying close to Rex and Jesse.

We go report in to General Kenobi.

"The crew compartment's almost entirely destroyed," Rex reports.

"We'll split into teams. Rex, take Jesse, Hardcase and Kix and search those wetlands," General Kenobi says.

"Yes sir," Rex says, before motioning me to follow him and Jesse as we walk away.

"And, Rex, if you get a visual on Grievous, contact us before you engage."

Rex nods before putting his helmet back on and we get on our speeders and drive off into the wetlands. 

I never get to see so much green on Coruscant, this would be a nice place to train. Maybe I should suggest that to Rex. 

Rex and the others are driving so fast, I try to keep up but I'm still lagging behind, I don't wanna drive too fast because I have no intention of dying today.

And then I see Rex get shot down in front of me, he flies off his speeder. I freeze, my breath hitches, and I hear gunshots not too far away.

I stop my speeder and jump off, running towards Rex's lifeless body, kneeling down beside him.

"Rex?" I shake him by the shoulders gently. "REX?" I shake him harder. He still doesn't move. My voice cracks. "I swear if you are dead...I'm gonna kill you. Rex? Rex, wake up, please..."

Dad...

My vision starts to blur inside my helmet, I know tears are starting to form but I cant clear them right now because I can't take off my helmet, so I just try to blink them out of my eyes. 

I barely notice Kix coming over to check on Rex, they take off his helmet and then tell Jesse to come over here, I'm still shaking Rex by the shoulders, trying to get him to wake up.

Jesse and Hardcase come over. 

"How bad?"  Jesse asks.

"Pretty bad. I need to remove his armor to see the full extent of the damage," Kix replies.

I check Rex's pulse, it's weak, but it's there.

"Those snipers might have called for backup," Hardcase says. "Unless we wanna start getting picked off one by one, we should find better cover first."

Some animals start walking over to us, they kinda look like the walkers, and they're noses are probably longer than most of the clones' dicks. How do I know? Rex may or may not have told me the sizes of all the clones' dicks.

"Wait a minute. Those critters are domesticated," Jesse says.

"Sir?"

"I think we're on farmland. And where there's a farm, there's usually a farmer," Jesse says.

I roll my eyes from under my helmet. "No shit smartass."

Jesse ignores me. "Let's find his homestead."

Jesse and Kix sling Rex onto their shoulders and puts him on a stretcher which Kix attaches to his speeder and I just follow them from behind.

It's sunset now. The sun casts an orange glow over the land as we reach a small house. Kix arrives up next to the door and this female Twi'Lek holds up a rifle and points it at him.

"We want no trouble here," she says.

"Easy with that weapon, ma'am," Jesse says as he takes off his helmet. "We're here as friends."

"State your business," the Twi'Lek says pointing the rifle at him.

I arrive back up behind Jesse, remaining silent.

"Our friend's been hurt. We need-" Kix gets cut off by her. "I'm no doctor. So just-"

"We have a medic ma'am. We just need a place to tend to him overnight," Jesse says.

 2 kids run out behind the Twi'Lek. My eyes light up. I haven't seen kids for a long time. Not since Kamino.

"Get inside, both of you," the Twi'Lek says and the kids reluctantly head into the house. "Look, there are some benches out back in the barn. It's the best I can do."

"That'll be fine ma'am. Thank you."

So we head to the barn and set Rex down on one of the benches, I lean against the wall at the far end of the barn, spinning my knife and keeping myself distracted while the others take care of Rex.

I hear Rex waking up and I run over, pushing my way past Jesse. He's shirtless, and has a medpatch on his chest.

"What? What happened?" Rex asks as he opens his eyes. 

"Commando droids took a potshot that would've gone straight through your heart had it been two inches to the left," Hardcase says.

"I can't move my arm," Rex says.

"You have some nerve damage," Kix tells him.

"Understood. Now patch me up and let's get on with it," Rex turns to the side.

"Sir, you're in no condition. It will heal, but it'll take time."

"We're getting under way, Kix. That's an order."

"Sir, as the team medic, when it comes to the health of the men, including you...I outrank everyone. So I respectfully order you, sir, to get some-"

I hear someone clearing their throat. "Excuse me." I turn around, it's that Twi'Lek again, she's carrying a plate of fruit. "If that's not enough-"

"That's plenty. Thank you, uh..."

"Suu."

Some droid ball-like thingy comes into the room and one of those kids I saw just now runs in, picking it up.

"I told you to stay in the house," Suu says.

"I couldn't help it, mom. It got away."

Then the kid looks at Rex and stares at him. "You look like my daddy."

"Shaeeah. Don't both the soldier. Now get inside with your brother."

"Yes, mom."

"My husband is away, delivering our first harvest," Suu says as she passes the plate of fruit to Jesse. "Do you require anything else?"

"No. Thank you, Suu."

Kix takes a pistol and puts it beside Rex's good hand.

"Resume the search without me," Rex says. "Jesse, you're in command." Jesse nods. "I'll be fine." He sighs.

"I'm staying with the captain," I speak up.

"Kid, you're going with them. That's an order," Rex says.

"I'm staying with you here, captain, whether you like it or not."

Rex sighs. "Fine."

As Jesse, Kix and Hardcase leave the room, I finally take off my helmet and set on the floor beside him. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. Rex chuckles a bit and hugs me back with his good arm.

"I was so worried," my voice cracks.

"I'm alright kid, I won't die from a simple shot like that."

I let go of him and sit down on the floor beside him, playing with my knife again.

"You want some water?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Nah ad'ika, I'm fine."

"I'll get some anyways." I put my helmet back on, standing up and heading out of the room. 

I head to the house where Suu came out of just now, and I knock on the door. Suu opens it, and lets me in.

The place is well-lit, and it seems quite cozy. Better than the barracks, at least. 

"I need some water," I tell Suu, and she goes to get some, returning in a short while. I see the kids looking at me from a corner, and I awkwardly wave at them.

"You're a little short to be one of them," Suu says as she hands me the water. "And you don't take off your helmet like the others."

"That's none of your business. Thanks for the water." I walk out of the house and back into the barn where I give some water to Rex.

"Thanks ad'ika ," he says as he drinks it.

I take my helmet off and set it down on the floor, sitting next to it.

"Yknow you can trust some of them to not reveal your secret. They're good men," Rex says.

"I don't trust any of them."

"Well, you should. It's good to make some friends."

"I don't need friends.  I already have you, Fives, Echo and Hevy-"

"Kid."

I look down, sighing. "Hevy's gone, I know."

Rex pats my head with his good arm and messes my hair up a bit. I smile slightly and lean against the wall.

"Don't move too much. We don't want the injury to get worse."

I forgot there was animals in the barn, so in the middle of the night, some random animals go drool on both me and Rex, and on my armour.

When I feel the liquid dripping on me, I instantly wake up and wipe it away. Some of it dripped on my helmet.

"Hey! I just got the new paint job!" I push the animal away.

And then I hear the faint sound of metal and footsteps. Rex's hand reaches for his pistol, and I draw my knife and sword and inch along the walls to where the sound is coming from.

I see the person making his way closer towards Rex in the room, he doesn't see me because of the colour of my armour. 

I see Rex try to shoot him but his pistol gets knocked out of his hand and the person points his weapon at him.

I quietly run behind the person, and grab his shoulder, pulling him backwards and putting my knife over his throat. "I wouldn't try anything if I were you."

I see the person's eyes widen. "Who are you?" he asks. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm the one asking the questions, not you." I press the knife to his throat. "Drop your weapon."

"Let go of him. He's a clone," Rex orders, and I kick his weapon to the side, slowly drawing my knife away from him and putting it back in my wrist compartment, and slinging my sword onto my back.

"So...I see the war has finally made its way out here, and I guess I can expect a visit from some droids soon," the clone says.

"What's your number and rank?" Rex asks, sitting up. 

"Heh. My name is Lawquane. Cut Lawquane, and I'm just a simple farmer."

"You're a deserter."

Cut chuckles. "Well, I like to think I'm merely exercising my freedom to choose, to choose not to kill for a living."

"That is not your choice to make," Rex says, as the lights in the barn turn on. "You swore an oath to the Republic. You have a duty."

"I have a duty, you're right. But it's to my family. Does that count or do you still plan to turn me in?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yea you do, he seems like a nice guy," I speak up again.

Cut looks at me. "Well thanks, kid. And I suppose you won't try to kill me again, will you?"

I look at him. "Only if you give me a reason to."

"Daddy! You're home!" the kids come running over and hug Cut. I instantly reach for my helmet, but Rex puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Fine," I groan, before sitting down on the floor next to him.

"Look what I drew you, Dad!" the other kid holds up a drawing. Cut chuckles and pats the kid on the head. "That's great Jekk."

"I see you two have met," Suu says.

"He looks just like you, daddy. I told him," one of kids says.

"Ah, you did, huh? I was just making our guest, Captain, um...what's your number?"

"Rex. I also have a name, believe it or not."

"He was injured. His men brought him here," Suu says. "I told him he could stay, just for the night."

"Of course he can. We never turn away those in need, do we?"

"No, we always help anyone we can," one of the kids sasys.

"You look hungry, Rex," Cut says.

"No, I'm fine, I'll stay here," Rex replies quickly.

"No, you have to eat with us, pleaseeee?"

"Please????"

Cut chuckles. "They're never gonna stop until you say yes."

"Alright, I'll join you."

Cut helps Rex stand up and as I watch them as they walk out of the barn, still sitting on the floor.

Cut turns back and looks at me. "You coming?"

I nod and put on my helmet. "Yea sure."

I keep quiet at the table as I eat. I don't take my helmet off, I just eat from under my helmet, Rex nudges me in the side to tell me that I can take my helmet off, but I shake my head.

"Yes, well you and I may be clones, but we're still individuals. You have a name rather than a number, Captain. Why is that?" Cut asks.

"Perhaps our leaders feel it's a more efficient way or distinguishing us," Rex replies.

"More efficient than a number? Hmm. I doubt the Kaminoans think that way. Still, a name has to make you feel unique, especially in an army where everyone looks like you and talks like you."

"Not everyone," I speak up.

"Actually, I've never really thought about it," Rex says.

"Yes, you have."

"Well, how would you know?"

"Because I'm as close to you as any life-form can be." Cut passes Rex his food and leans in. "I've seen how you look at my family, our home. Come on, Rex, admit it. You've thought about what your life could look like if you were to also leave the army, choose the life you want."

Rex looks at me. "What if I am choosing the life I want? What if I'm staying in the army because it's meaningful to me?"

"And how is it meaningful?"

"Because I'm part of the most pivotal moment in the history of the Republic. If we fail, then our children and their children could be forced to live under an evil I can't well imagine."

"If you were to have children, of course, but that would be against the rules, wouldn't it? Isn't that what somebody programmed you to believe, Captain?"

"No, Cut. It's simply what I believe. It doesn't matter if it's my children or other people's children. Does that meet with your approval?"

"Perfectly. To each his own. That's what I always say."

"What does that mean, daddy?" one of the kids asks.

"It means you can do anything with your life that you want to."

"Why don't you take your helmet off?" Suu asks.

"I'd...prefer not to," I reply.

"Aw cmon, please? We wanna see your face," the kids say, and they starts begging me to take off my helmet. I look at Rex, and then Cut, and then they both nod at me, and I hesitantly take off my helmet.

"You're a girl version of Daddy?" one of the kids asks.

I chuckle. "I guess you could say that."

"Why are you out in the field so early? Don't you have training to do back on Kamino?" Cut asks.

"I ran away from Kamino when the war started, got caught in a skirmish, Rex found me and took me in."

"And I'm guessing you had no choice?"

"No. I chose this life. I want to fight for the Republic. No matter how much of a mistake I am to the Kaminoans, I'm still a soldier, and I wanna do my duty."

"Isn't that what you were programmed to think?"

I fall silent. 

"How old are you?" Suu asks.

"14," I reply. 

"You're fighting in a war when you're so young?" one of the kids asks. 

"I wouldn't consider it young but-"

"Yea, she is, I trained her myself," Rex says, and I can hear a hint of proudness in his voice.

"Do you have a name?" Cut asks.

"Yea. It's Aris."

"That's a cool name," one of the kids says.

I nod at them.

After dinner, Cut and Rex go play some Dejarik and Cut tells Rex his story, and Cut lets the kids go outside and play for a few minutes, and he tells me to keep an eye on them. I nod and follow them outside. 

They're playing hide-and-seek in the fields, and I put my helmet on, following them. I see the older kid called Shaeeah scare the living hell out of Jekk, and I smile to myself under my helmet. 

I wish my childhood was like this.

"Look. In the field," Jekk says. 

I look out in the field and see a metal structure that looks like it crashed into the field.

"Stay back kids, I'll go check it out," I say, before running inside the structure.

Clearly they have a hearing problem, because they follow me inside. 

I walk through a dark hallway, pistol and sword drawn, and find myself in a dark room full of lifeless commando droids. I get ready to shoot them before they can do anything, and then they suddenly power up. I look behind and I see Shaeeah who accidentally pressed the button to power them up.

"Run!" I shout to the kids. "Go tell dad!"

I shoot as many of the droids as I can before they start moving, and I run out of the structure, hiding in the field, hoping that they won't hear or see me. I hold my breath. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, it's so loud.

I make my way through the fields and back to the house. I see 3 commando droids circling around it. 

I take a deep breath and steel myself before drawing my knife and stabbing one in the head, drawing my pistol and shooting the other, and Cut shoots the last one with his rifle.

I nod at him. "Thanks."

I hide with him behind the wall, it's all quiet, but I can hear footsteps around the house, my breathing quickens, the inside of my helmet is warm.

Suddenly, a commando droid holds Cut by the neck, and I shoot it in the head with my pistol, almost hitting Cut. 

Another commando droid comes from the door and Cut shoots it before I can. I don't like this. 

"Why isn't Rex here?" I whisper to Cut.

"He's backup in case we die," he replies.

"So you think we're gonna die?!??!?"

"That is a possibility."

"Okay, point taken," I gulp as I hear a creaking sound coming from the floorboards.

I cautiously walk over and open the trapdoor, and then a bunch more commando droids come out. I stab one in the head before backing up and shooting at them. They're also shooting at me and Cut, and a blaster bolt grazes my hand, it cuts through my glove and I can feel the burning on my hand.

I take cover behind a wall, and shoot the droids from there. I see Cut get trapped under some debris that fell from the ceiling, and I draw my sword, slicing through 2 of the commando droids and shooting another in the head, and then suddenly I feel a strong grip around my neck, I look back and see another commando droid, the grip is getting tighter and I can't breathe...

Cut forces the debris that he's stuck under off of him, hitting the droid that's strangling me, and it falls to the ground, the lights from it's eyes turning off. I'm breathing heavily, my throat feels like it's pressed in, I cough a bit as Cut takes out the rest of the droids.

I hear blaster fire from upstairs, Rex must be taking care of the last ones. I see Cut wrestling with one of the commando droids and I go over to help him, stabbing it in the head.

And then Rex falls from the ceiling and the last commando droid grips his neck, trying to strangle him like its counterpart tried to strangle me, and Cut shoots it in the head, causing it to let Rex go. Rex staggers back, coughing a bit.

I hear the kids calling out for Cut, and he reassures them, telling them that it's over.

Rex puts a hand on my shoulder. "Good job, kid."

"Thanks Rex," my voice is hoarse and I cough a bit, receiving a bit of a concerned look from Rex. "I'm-" I cough a bit. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

I cough again. "Y-yea."

The kids and Suu come down the stairs and hug Cut, and Rex and I lean against the wall. I sigh. "Rex, have you actually thought about leaving the army before? Yknow, you could have a family, be away from all the war for once."

Rex looks at me, and I take off my helmet. 

"I already have a family. I wouldn't have it any other way." 

And then he pulls me into a hug and I hug him back tightly. 

In the morning, Rex and I have to leave, we put our stuff onto one of these animals and then we get ready to leave. 

"Captain Rex, are you going to turn in my husband?" Suu asks.

"I'm sorry Suu. It's my duty." I glare at Rex. "But in my condition, I probably won't remember any of this."

Suu looks happy.

"You're still a deserter, Cut, but you're certainly not a coward."

The kids come and hug my waist. "Promise you'll come back sometime?" they ask, and I nod, smiling at them before putting my helmet back on.

Rex receives a transmission from General Kenobi.

"Captain Rex, are you still with us?"

"Yes, General Kenobi. I'm still with you and thankfully on the mend sir."

"That's great news. We certainly missed you at the party."

"Does that mean I missed out on some action?" I speak into the comlink.

"Quite a lot of it, actually."

"Sorry sir, I...had to attend one of my own."

"Can't wait to hear about it. We're standing by."

"You're welcome to stay, Rex," Cut says.

"This is your home, Cut. My family is elsewhere." Rex looks at me, before we get on the animal thing and wave to Cut and his family, before riding off into the sunset.

We meet up with General Kenobi, and then we get back onto the Jedi cruiser, and before I head to my barracks, Rex stops me.

"You did good, ad'ika," he says. 

"Thanks, captain," I smirk under my helmet.

"Yknow I could get used to you calling me that, right?" Rex laughs a bit.

I chuckle.

"I know you'll never get used to it."