Only Friends The Series - Blog Posts

R.I.P. - Chandler Bing

Ray and Mew communicating properly is the best thing. I am glad Mew is seeing things better.

I seriously think RaySand Switch. They do to much pushing and pulling in their normal relationship not to do so.

Why isn’t the fandom screaming about Sand’s legs???

The shot where he gets the party notif in ep 8 and he’s there with his legs up in his T-shirt and boxers???

He has better legs than me. Like if Ray saw that then he would go feral. Sand has such great legs. I’m so jealous.

(Can someone gif that for me? Pretty please?)

I know Sand is into rock bands. But I thought at least during the Halloween party he would wear eyeliner like every great rockstar. I was really looking forward to seeing him with black eyeliner and shadow in true rocker fashion.

Unfortunately I was disappointed. I was so hoping for it too. He would look so damn good.

I’ve been watching Not Me and Only Friends at the same time, having watched The eclipse of weakly two months before.

First is just coming at me with his characters. I am feeling very attacked.

But the thing I was trying to say is, it would be interesting if Only Friends and Not me were in the same universe.

Either one can come first and make a interesting timeline.

Only friends happening the year after Not Me. Yok changed his name to Sand and changed unis to avoid the fall out from Not me. He is still recovering from Dan but hasn’t learnt his lesson and falls in with Ray.

Or, Only friends coming first in the timeline and Ray breaks Sand’s heart. During one of his odd jobs he falls in with Sean and Black and joins the gang. He falls for Dan in hopes of getting over Ray (but we know how that goes).

Urgh I just want fics where First’s characters end up more with Khao’s characters cause they are amazing together. (Also I want Yok and Sand to have hugs).

All I am seeing is Boston in my dash and of course I am going to contribute. Character readings can be different for each viewer so this is just my reading of Boston.

Boston's journey ended the exact way he wanted it to. He was going to move to the states and leave his life Thailand behind. It's why he was sleeping around without forming deeper romantic attachments. Why would be tie himself to one person when he was going to leave anyway.

And that is the point of conflict in his relationships. People formed emotional attachments to him but he couldn't care less about them. And yes he was honest about his actions. But him being honest is not going to control the other people's feelings. Or suddenly make them immune to not having feelings about him. And he's not responsible for Nick developing feelings or atom getting or drake getting obsessed. But that's what happens when physical satisfaction is tied to their emotional states in the characters that we have seen.

Boston just doesn't equate sex with feelings and it's not bad. But what he doesn't realise is that what's true or makes sense for him won't necessarily be understood by the people around him.

Boston can't empathise. He sees what he did was wrong ( sleeping with top ) but he doesn't understand why everyone made a big deal out of it. To him it was just sex , just physical not something deeper like emotions or love or feelings.

Nick is important in Boston's development because he bought a counterpoint into his way of doing things. They had a connection, I don't call it love , maybe an obsession, heck every relationship in this show is more obsession then love.

Nick was emotionally attached to Boston. An attraction that Boston encouraged by being very affectionate and sweet. Boston liked the physical part of it, and he really liked having someone to have regular sex with. He thought that was all there is to it. He thought that he has found an equal, someone who seems to like him, worship him even and can match his energy in bed.

But Nick caught him off guard. He's felt betrayed , he missed him. He experienced emotions he never felt with anyone else. Something that was purely physical for him ended In him having an emotional attachment, maybe for the first time.

So he jumped right in , giving declarations that can easily be taken as indicated of an exclusive monogamous relationship , " you're the exception ", " from now on I would only take photos of you ".

But that's not what he intended with that. He likes nick, he not only has a physical attachment to him he also has an emotional attachment to him. In his mind both are seperate not tied together. Which is why he went after Boeing.

But Nick wanted exclusivity and rightfully put a stop to their relationship. Nick knows that they want different things from the relationship but Boston was not equipped to deal with it.

Now Boston is surprised. Because he thought he got it figured out , he promised his emotional loyalty to him , isn't that enough ? But it's not. And Boston is realising that his views about sex and relationships are fundamentally different from everyone else's.

People want exclusivity with the emotional and physical side of a relationship, that's one of the truth's that he realised. It doesn't' make his views wrong,its just different. But after his relationship with nick Boston has got a valuable lesson on how people have their own perspectives , and just because what you are doing is right in your eyes, doesn't mean it's the right thing in someone else's book . ( there's was a whole lot of meta about who decides what's right or wrong in this series )

And because of that it's a good thing that he is leaving. Because now he can find someone with views that aligns with him. And he would know how to communicate that and he could choose for himself friends that understand his views.

It's a good opportunity for him. So for me his story ended in a positive note.

Would you like to take a walk and listen to music with me? First Kanaphan as Sand and Khaotung Thanawat as Ray (Only Friends, 2023)

Please, we need that translation.

I really wish they translate the Only Friends novel

FYI: This has spoilers for the novel

So, some context, the novel was written after the script was finished and the author said that they rewrote part of the story to fix holes and issues so many parts so in general, the novel may give out a different subtext to the series.

For example, Top was portrayed more as a player in the early parts of his relationship with Mew, Boston's dad is portrayed as a progressive politician standing up for the common people, the Boston's scandal was more a "this country is stupid and having a son that has a gay sex life is wrong" rather than what's presented in the series.

Okay, so what I'm getting at here is that the novel ending is different, Boston is not just thrown away, he reconciled with the group, he gets an ending that is more deserving than in the series.

I think this is because the author had time to rethink parts through and correct any issues which makes the novel a better version of the story in my opinion. And I want non Thais to be able to experience this as well, which is why I want them to translate the novel.

Also side note; Mew's insecurity in dating in the novel also stemmed from his mother, one is a comparative literature professor and the other a SEA Write (an important prize of literature here) award writer, so his insecurity comes from people recognising him as the son of the SEA Write writer rather than someone he truly is, which makes my heart warms a bit, I don't know why

But yeah, I want them to translate the novel so bad

I need to know if Mix was always meant to make a cameo or if P’Jojo just saw the opportunity to make the funniest joke ever and ran with it

Thank you.

I saw a lot of people saying that ray wants to buy sand off. Like seriously the more I read the discourse the more I wonder if I am watching the same show.

Did you miss the scene where ray had a meltdown after he thought that sand was using him for his money. And in this episode sand literally tells ray that he will let him treat him if it's rays money. And he happily accepts the gift.

Ray is not trying to buy him off, he is showing love the way he knows, using his wealth. And sand knows it , that's why he accepted the guitar and actually put a boundary regarding the money.

Only Friends | "He took the money because I forced him to. I admired him. He seemed to live a tough life. So I gave him the money. Don't be mad at him."

Over the series, Ray has harboured an obvious complex over whether Sand may be interested in him due to his wealth - a complex which funnily enough he established by offering to pay Sand to spend time with him from the get go. From the morning after they slept together, Sand makes a point of turning down Ray's money as he now deems him a friend.

Episode 11 is proof that Ray has taken to heart what Sand taught him in Episode 4 and what he has more recently come to learn in Episode 10. Ray could easily pay for Sand and all his needs, but that's not the point. Sand wants to earn his own way and to be seen as capable of doing so, without taking advantage of anyone in the process.

Ray is no longer throwing money at Sand as a means to placate or as leverage. Instead he puts his money towards supporting Sand's dreams, his passions. Intentional gifts that prioritise Sand's happiness, rather than as a gesture of frivolity or force of habit.

When Ray says "I'll pay anything for you", it's his way of saying 'this is the least I can do to take care of you when you do so much for me.' Ray may still feel like he doesn't bring much to the table, but what he can offer is his wealth. Rather than this being a point of insecurity, he can now regard it as a privilege that can be extended to Sand as stability, as support, as love. 'I know you don't need my money. But I am happy to provide for you.'

Tell me if I am wrong but does Boeing know that ray is mews best friend. Like imagine if he doesn't and he gets to know it later.

My ex + sort of friend, who I got by cheating on my bf, is in love with a guy who is the ex and best friend of my other ex 's boyfriend. The one I cheated on . I tried to get revenge on my ex but his ex is vindicative so I try to rebound of my other ex who I dumped and told him I want him back even if he is in a relationship. But I am not a homewrecker you know, I just want to be friends. But his boyfriend , he's fierce by the way but kind of friendly , asked me out in front of my ex and now we are in his pool for a threesome.

I thought I was a hot mess

This poor dude. I feel so sorry for him. Man didn't deserve to be left in the dust.

Its not just firstkhao who needs a romcom, these two need one too.

Only Friends (2023) | Ep.11

But you might be my exception. What are you saying? You don't have to act so sweet. Because I helped you with Atom, you’re returning the favor by becoming my boyfriend? No, you jackass. But it made me realize who really cares about me. No matter how nasty or shitty I am, he always stands right by my side. You are a romantic. You're delusional and get into something too easily. I bet you thought we were boyfriends ever since we first hooked up. No way, you asshole. I'm not that delusional. But you're the one who got my hopes up. I am the way I am. Do you want to be my boyfriend though?

Loving how this ep divided the sandray fans into two. The ones who desperately want a threesome and the ones who want Boeing to fall of an airplane.

But nah I don't think a threesome is gonna happen. Sand has to learn to make some boundaries, it's needed if he wants to be in a relationship with ray. Guess this is how he is gonna learn.

( though my horny side really wants to see three hot men going at it )

ray every ep: invites people over to have a threesome with him and sand

ray when boeing actually comes: get rid of him or ill kill him myself

The amount of love coming off of Ray and Sand is almost painful. The way they talk to each other and about each other? Ugh, my entire heart. It's all the little things and the ways that they're showing their love and then the music disappears with Boeing's arrival and changes and everything about Sand's body languages changes and all that love is suddenly lost in awkward lines and stiffness and separation and Sand looking away.

That's the hardest part.

The space changes so instantly between them when Boeing arrives. It's like a switch.

Tired Sand is still tired. So tired. He has so much drama around him and all he wants is a quiet relationship and to be able to go to concerts and enjoy music.

Oh. Oh that is a hard line.

And Ray is watching them and Sand doesn't say no. Sand doesn't say no to him. Not directly.

And then Ray stomps in to bring the jealousy and the pain and the fears. Because he and Sand might have just started to make everything work again but he's still the same self-hating, self-destructive poor little rich boy he's always been.

Ray is so reliant on Sand, he loves him so much, and he is literally watching Sand not reject Boeing again and again.

I love Sand to death and on every level but the fact that he is not actually saying no to him but seems to expect Ray to just... not be upset about it is not working. He pulls away when Boeing is there. He insists on sending Ray home to stay with Boeing.

Sand, my darling boy, what are you doing?

Regarding the discourse on only friends, I think the fandom has to throw out the idea of who's the villain?.

There's no villain. There's no psycopath or evil mastermind. This is just a show a about 20 something students messing up their life's intentionally or unintentionally , making mistakes and learning from them. No one is right or wrong they are messy and that's the point.

I asked for messy not for pain.

Firstkhao is just wow I have no words. Damn stupid talented gorgeous people making me cry so much. I hate you.

Me the entire time I am watching this bloody show

Lmao if editing is being done based on audience's " big reactions " then there is no way this series is ending with the couples seperated. Gmmtv is not going to risk pissing of fans , right ?

It's a shame. Funny how scenes with emotions is being cut in a series with sexual promiscuity. It's giving Victorian age but with a twist.

Give this boy his threesome

MY ''RAY PROPOSES THREESOME ONLY TO BE REJECTED YET AGAIN" PATIENCE IS RUNNING THIN @ P'JOJO

Do you guys think only friends will start talking about std's ?

This might be a tiny theory or me making something up but cheum and atom in the trailer is so interesting. Cheum looks so distressed and worried. And atom looks devastated. And it feels like an overreaction for a one night stand.Maybe atom caught something.

Idk it may be me jumping to the worst scenario but I also feel like that is the perfect place to bring it. I mean for a show that is sex positive there's a noticable lack of safe sex talk.

I just love the diverse range of opinions among Only Friends viewers .....

If there's one thing I find quite fascinating as an OFTS enjoyer, it's the varying opinions we have about the show's characters.

Every single character has both shooters as well as critics, and there's not a single opinion that unites us all. Why? Well, it might just be because these characters are astonishingly realistic.

Take RayMew for instance, cause I've seen heated debates on both sides of this dynamic. Some argue that Mew is treading on thin ice by pursuing a relationship with Ray, knowing full well about his emotional volatility.

On the flip side, there are staunch defenders of Mew who insist that he's vulnerable, having been betrayed and cheated on, and Ray is capitalizing on that (just like Boston implied)! The opinions here are a muddied mess, much like the characters' feelings.

Then, there's Nick and Boston. I mean, most viewers find themselves sympathizing with Nick and harboring a deep dislike for Boston for obvious reasons.

But a good number of them also admit that Nick was wrong to record Boston without consent, and Boston has always been transparent about his feelings toward Nick.

Sand, who is mostly loved by all, isn't immune to scrutiny either. While many of us adore him, we can't deny his imperfections.

It's this multi-dimensional nature of the characters that makes discussing this show so exhilarating.

There are no definitive right or wrong takes when it comes to these characters; it's all about perspective.

It's about slipping into their shoes, understanding why they make the choices they do, and then looking at it from another character's standpoint, and understanding why they are criticized.

It's the realism that I enjoy so much. In the real world, most people aren't simply categorized as inherently good or evil; they're shaped by their experiences and personalities.

We all have those people in our lives who staunchly stand by us, no matter what, and those who will never understand us. The characters of Only Friends embody this human complexity to the fullest.

None of them are perfect, and that's precisely why we're drawn to them. They're beautifully flawed, just like real people.

What makes it so captivating for me isn't just following the story in the show. It's also diving into character discussions, hearing a spectrum of fan opinions, and embracing the diversity of viewpoints.

Personally, I appreciate both the criticisms and defenses for each character. It's this variety of perspectives that makes this show so fun to discuss.

This.

Handling an addiction. Part 1.

Cause oh we need to have this conversation

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, and I won’t pretend to be. This is based on my personal experience as someone who is/was in several relationships with people who struggle from different forms of addiction. I want to clarify that I do understand all characters and while I’m going to critique them I do not blame them. The very important thing to remember is that it's a very complicated topic and there is no clear right answer to it. Let's keep in mind that any conversation about any difficult topic is always mostly one-sided and it's impossible to talk about everything once. This is about addiction and only about it, but all characters are way more then that one topic. Are we good now? Let's go.

So, let’s talk about Ray’s addiction and how people in his life are failing to handle it. 

The most important thing to remember is: addiction is a disease. By definition of most medical associations all over the world. Addiction is not a personal choice. And while it doesn’t excuse Ray’s behaviour throughout the show, it explains it. And this is a big difference. Ray as a character is much more than just his addiction, absolutely. But his addiction is a huge part of who he is and how he behaves and we need to constantly remember about it.

This conversation begins every week after every episode. Most people who seem to understand the complexity of his situation are also people who have a lot of sympathy and understanding towards him, and this is great. There are also a lot of people who feel towards him mostly annoyance and desire for him to stop without understanding why he can't - and this list starts from characters in the show. It’s, again, understandable. It’s also the worst thing you can do towards someone who struggles from addiction. 

So let’s start from Ray’s friend group and we’ll go from the least harmful to most harmful characters’ behaviour.

Boston. Yeah, shockingly, I know. But the fact is - Boston actually has the best-ish (from the worst so it’s not a high ground here) approach towards Ray’s addiction. And why? Well, cause he doesn’t give a fuck and doesn’t pretend to do. Boston is way far from the good support system Ray actually needs but at least he never judges Ray for his habits. He won’t help him, sure, but he won’t damage him harder (well, he is, but on a different topic).

We don’t actually know a lot about this friend group dynamic outside of their current drama and one episode happened two years ago. But we kind of can assume (cause Mew said it twice - in episodes 1 and 6) that Boston at least on some level was periodically responsible for taking Ray home. Which is really weird for me, by the way, cause both times Mew said Boston will take care of him Boston was also drinking. Not on Ray’s level, but still not in a shape to drive. But whatever. 

Don’t get me wrong, Boston is a shitty friend. He’s the one called Ray a burden in episode 1 which led to Ray rushing out.

And he intentionally targets Ray more than once towards the show about Mew, which is absolutely harmful and not helpful (can we talk about the weird obsession Boston has about Ray and Mew having sex? Like dude relax, nobody cares. Well, Top does).

He is absolutely not someone you want to have in your support system while trying to heal (not if Ray’s trying but we’ll get to that in part 2). But at least he is honest about not wanting to handle an addict. And the truth is: no one in this friends group wants to. And it’s fine, actually, more on that in a minute. But oh the level of hypocrisy the other two have.

Cheum. So, I truly don’t understand what the show is trying to tell us with this one. It’s either a clear critique on the hypocrisy people tend to have towards addicts or an attempt to show how addiction ruins not only people with it but also their surroundings. And if it’s the second one then I have a problem with how it’s shown.

There is a gold rule of cinema: show, don’t tell. We are told more than once that Cheum and Mew were actively trying to stop Ray. But what we’re actually shown is way different. The thing is, they are college kids. They drink a lot. They party a lot. And if we see this group all together they are either in university or drinking (except for the iconic pool scene). And specifically Cheum seems to get drunk pretty often. So while we’re told they tried to help Ray we’re shown only how they actually (unintentionally!!) support his behaviour or ignore it. And what should I think?

I think that they missed the point when Ray’s habits became an actual addiction. And I understand why - it’s a very easy thing to miss. I think that before his suicide attempt they did’t notice his mental struggles. I think after that they were shocked and scared and they didn’t know how to handle it so they chose to ignore it. This is a very common reaction and it’s understandable. 

The very important moment to remember is they don’t owe Ray anything. They can choose to help him and support him or not to deal with it. Handling an addiction is so hard and frustrating and exhausting for every participant. And if they choose to not get themselves into it - it’s normal. It doesn’t make them bad people, as choosing to help doesn't make somebody a better person. It’s a choice and every choice matters.

But if you make this choice - be true to it. Don’t play the “I tried to help you but you don’t want it so it’s on you” card. People with addiction didn’t choose to be that way. But people in their lives? They have an actual choice. No one will judge you if it’s not for you (at least normal people won’t). It’s honestly way better than staying only to constantly remind an addict how bad he is - he knows it already.

The thing I have to say to Cheum is - go away. It’s harsh, but it needs to be said. Don’t lie to yourself or Ray. Tell him (in very careful way) that you are tired, that you can’t handle it, that he needs help you can’t provide. Or stay, but do your research and prepare yourself to long hard work. But don’t continue to constantly drink with him to then be surprised why he can’t get better. Cheum is absolutely not responsible for Ray's actions. But she is responsible for hers. 

The one time I was almost agree with her was that scene.

Because bringing drugs was a very fucked up thing to do - Ray puts at risk not only himself but the whole group and he deserves to be called out on that. But. She continues to put all the blame on Ray - the thing she does the whole episode and it’s just frustrating as hell -  forgetting about Mew. Mew, who actually has a lot of responsibility in that situation.

Mew. Well, he does the worst thing you can imagine to do with a person like Ray. I get it, he’s hurt, I totally understand why he does what he does. I don't think he intends to hurt Ray. But.

Mew forgets a critically important thing here - can you guess which one? - right, that Ray is an addict. Mew can do all this stuff and be fine afterwards. It is always a risk that he won’t, of course, but his superiority complex tells him he’ll be fine. And I also think so - I mean, he's a young adult, he can try partying and drinking and drugs and be totally okay after.

He can turn back. Ray can’t.

Mew did help Ray in his worst moment that one time two years ago, and it is worth remembering. And after that Mew tried his best to distance himself from Ray’s struggles - again, understandable. He was trying to talk with Ray and while it was really bad - I still give him the benefit of a doubt. He is young, he’s not a specialist, he didn’t do any research and he thinks it might work.

But a moment he decides to let loose he turns to Ray for help. Because Ray will never judge him - both cause his idolisation and cause it’s not his place to judge, he does all this stuff himself. And this is absolutely terrible. I’m sorry, but it is. Mew, the same as everyone else, doesn’t owe Ray his help or time or support. But while it is not necessary for him to help Ray, it is a necessity to not actively - and this time intentionally - support him in this.

For Mew everything happening is episode 8 is a journey, a new experience. For Ray it's a fucking relapse.

He knows Ray is an addict. He just doesn’t care at the moment. But it can be so, so dangerous for Ray. Mew started this spiraling down journey, but it’s Ray who will end up at the bottom.

And for everyone who says Ray is also an active participant - he is. But he is not. He has a disease. And he gets in a situation where a person he idolises, his favourite human being, finally doesn’t judge him. Instead, Mew supports him. Mew wants to be like him. Can you imagine even a possibility where Ray in this situation says no? It’s impossible, not in the state he’s in right now.

And this is why I critisize this friend group. This is why they deserve to be criticized. Because this is a depiction of how these things work in reality too. You don't have to help him. But the least thing you can do - if you deside to stay in his life - is to have a compassion towards him and don't get him worse.

In part two I will talk about Ray’s current state and of course about the one person who kind of does the better job here - and why Sand is able to do it.

I find it so funny that fans were making mew the mastermind manipulator but now that he's actually being toxic those same people are treating him as a baby. Like I don't understand, are we watching the same show, lol.

Addiction ( in only friends ) and how it impedes your perception of the situations you are in

Never thought I needed to write this but I have been seeing so many posts blaming ray and I wanted to get it out. Later if I have time I would write a dissertation about this topic because it's extremely important.

Disclaimer : Know that I am not absolving ray of his wrongdoings nor am I blaming his behaviour on other characters but we know the root of his behaviour but it seems like there is a lack of understanding.

All this is from my observations with people I know who have addiction so this is my personal experience and not me telling everyone how they should act or feel.

.................

Ray is a selfish person. We all know that. But so is Boston , so is mew, so is cheum. So why is ray getting the most hate. Because he is a drunkard. During ep 3 or 4 , when we saw ray at his most vulnerable , everyone was going oh poor ray. And now everyone is telling the opposite. Now I see a lot of people asking why mew and the others not taking care of him, even me. But this is why. See how easy it was for a major part of the audience to forget his addiction and completely blame ray. Now imagine if you are the one who has to deal with ray on a daily basis for two long years. It's exhausting , overwhelming and frustrating and eventually you are going to form an antipathy. My drunkard friend is not going to listen to my well intentioned warnings so why should I care. You can see it clearly in mews behaviour. Mew has given up caring.

Loved ones start giving up , because the pain the addicted one causes is too much to bear. And that is the reality of addiction. This was most clearly shown through rue from euphoria. Her mother, friends, sister cared about her but you can see the toll it creates on everyone.

Addiction is a harmful disease and one of the reason why is that it morphs the user into someone unrecognisable. Look at sober ray, his moments with sand, he's adorable, fiesty, sassy and very charming. But what he becomes when he is drunk or high is a selfish guy who doesn't care about anyone but himself.

Once again I am not blaming the entire thing on alcohol, but trying to say how that much addiction can cause one to act in ways they won't normally wont when sober.

Alcohol and drugs is ray's escape from his inner thoughts and his shitty lonely life. But he's got so dependent on it and his pain is too much that he greatly needs that buzz of happiness that alcohol and drugs gives him. He's so dependent on it that he can't be happy without it. I know that most portrayel of alcoholics have them be absolutely useless and trashed. But ray is not like that, which is even more dangerous , because he is a functional alcoholic.

And it's dangerous because it won't be clear to a lot of people about how he needs help. And more importantly it won't be clear to him about how he needs help. When ray thinks to himself all he can focus on is that he can do chores, he can talk to people normally, he can walk in a straight line, he is not an alcoholic in the way we are always shown, but he is. He is seen with drinks almost all the time, he spends the most time in a bar , he is probably walking around conscious but still drunk. And as long as he is a functional alcoholic , ray would never go or ask for help.

When you are that dependent on this , any tiny problem would have you running to escape , because the escape as an option is easy then doing the messy work of knowing when you are wrong or wronged and dealing with the emotions that come with it. We have seen ray doing it, especially when paired with mew.

When you are that dependent you don't see that you need help. To ray he is having fun, he's not miserable when he is drunk or high , when he is in that state he gets everything. So what if he is called a burden, he is still on top of the world. So when people say to him that he is an alcoholic he's confused , because he is not an alcoholic. He's having fun.

Now during ep 8 we are actually seeing him being selfish and an asshole. During ep 6 we saw him very effectively damaging his relationships. The common point between these two eps is that he is under the influence. Those are his sober thoughts but he won't say it aloud when he is sober but when he's drunk he doesn't have any inhibitions so he says everything that comes to him. Combine that with the pain of being called a burden , of unrequited love and he tries to escape from the feelings by drinking again and it forms a vicious circle. It came to a point where he lashed out and as always hurt people under the influence of something can be destructive.

I am not saying that what he did was right or the pain he caused was justifiable or should be forgiven. They shouldn't but rays feeling shouldn't be minimised too. Addiction is complex and asking for help can be a hard task. And in the case of ray I don't think he realises that he needs help. That's the problem with addicts, they don't know that the thing that's giving them happiness is the same thing that's causing them harm. Or they know but they are far too gone that they don't care.

Be it smoking , drugs or alcohol or anything else , people use it for escape but the usage becomes too much that their entire day is only fulfilled , when they get their daily dose of happiness from it. Which changes their perception to accomodate one and only one thing , the next fix, the next drink. Which is why they become selfish cause their entire world is wrapped around that bottle and everything else comes secondary.

Addiction has the potential to completely change a person. You know the person you grew up with or you know personally is somewhere inside there but what you see when they are under the influence is someone you never dreamed your loved one's can be. And it's painfull.

Another way people with addiction is dehumanised is that everyone uses them. You want a drink ? that person will always have a bottle with them, you need a fix that guy knows a person , want to have fun that person will show you a good time . I think a lot of people have heard these phrases.

For most people it's harmless fun, for the addict it's an ego boost . And it encourages them to continue that lifestyle. Which is what happened with raymew and the entire friends group in general.

They use ray but they are willfully blind to the harm that causes him. Mew was the one who wanted to try smoking, coke and party, ray never forced him, because for ray that is his happy place. Substances is the one thing that gives him happiness, he does not have the capacity to stop or think of it as wrong.

To ray , mew has finally chosen him, he is finally doing the things he loves. He's not going to stop mew from doing anything when he thinks he finally getting what he always wanted. Ands it toxic and it's not right but that's the reality of an addict.

And he should be happy about it but he isn't because he needs sand. And that is what confused him to spiral further and ignore his emotions and snort coke. Because that's the best thing he can do, run away.

Why is sand so important to ray ? I said in an another post that sands generosity is out of the ordinary. He's mature for his age in a way that makes me feel like he has known an addict before.

And ray needs that. He doesn't need enablers. he needs someone to physically stop him from taking it. Or atleast make him realise that what he is doing is dangerous. And sand is the one who's going to do it.

Thing is it's not sand's job to do it. But till ep 8 he was choosing to be that person. Saying that ray is forcing sand to do something is just taking away the agency from sand. He's not a kid. He's making his own decisions.

And if he is helping him it won't be an easy journey. If they are bringing the addiction rehab plot line into the show then I could see a scene happening that is reminiscent of the car chase scene from euphoria.

Sand and his generosity.

Sand is a great character and I find it interesting that even though he did a crime, is actively doing another crime the majority of the fandom is behind him being such a good guy, and he is. But it got me thinking. Why is he so generous towards ray?

Now 14 yr old me would have instantly said true love but now I know a lot more. Something about his care for ray feel so familiar. Like he knows exactly what to do with someone like ray, on the verge of an alcoholic spiral 24/7.

The first few episodes we see them connecting but even if they did connect more then the other couples, there was something huge missing. Sand didn't know the extend of rays addiction. And then we see sand processing it and then top comes barging in and derails him and the entire trainwreck that resulted and sand had understood just how gone ray is. That boy needs rehab asap.

But sand goes after him, he saves him, he takes care of him, he bends to his every whim and is happy to do so, only to be tossed aside. And it's in the way he takes care of him. He knows how to take care of a drunk person , he knows how to be gentle with them , he knows how to scold them without coming across as demeaning or prejudice. He has the patience of someone who's already dealt with circumstances like these. Of taking care of a loved one who is an addict.

You can see it in the way he doesn't bring up the outburst. He bought up the drunk driving because it has the potential to cause lasting harm. But an outburst in a bar will be just that an outburst. Sand doesn't know that ray had told mew about topton, but he doesn't give the outburst much thought when ray had attacked him directly. And that's where I think he knows what to except from an outburst from an addict and is choosing to not take it personally. And that level of insight is not typical in a 20 something college kid , even if the college kid works in a bar , because ray targeted him specially. Nobody would have blamed him if he didn't go, heck rays friends who he have known for years didn't go but sand a recent acquaintance went.

Now it can be said that sand has seen the good side of ray, and he has. When it comes with dealing with addicts most people focus on changing the bad side and forget about the good side. But sand didn't , he saw the good side, liked it and is trying to get that back. That smile in the bathtub, he thought he was getting it back. But then he saw raymew dancing and that look is so interesting. Because there's no anger, there's sadness, and heartbreak and disappointed. And there's resignation. He predicted it would happen and it did.

He wasn't disappointed with ray, he was disappointed in himself. He was dealing with an addict, trying to save him when the person doesn't want to be saved. Something he has done before. Something he so familiar with he was anticipating the heartbreak when he and ray had hooked up. It's exactly like playing with fire.

So why did he jump right in when he knows the pain, because it's familiar to him.

So who's this person who has given sand the experience with working with addicts . Either his mom who's the closest person we have seen to him or his ex.

Imagine if it was his ex , someone he loved , cared for and has helped with a recovery process but then top comes and takes him away. By using drugs.

Which would explain why sand is so mad at him , why he insisted that top stole him.

Sand saw the good side with his ex , helped him get back and all that was tossed away for the next fix that top had with him. And he fought tooth and nails for him , but the ex chose his next fix and not him.

Then his eyes fell on a boy similar to his ex , who's also going through addiction and sand wants to help him since it's so familiar. And he knows it's a bad idea and he is watching the exact same thing happen away and this time he's so resigned and too tired too fight.

His generosity is not just because he's a good person , it's because he's used to it, it's because it's familiar to him.

What if Ray is the one who finds Mew's change problematic after he gets over Mew that is. right now he's too blind to see what's happening. ray didn't fall for this new, he fell for his mew, the one who saved him. This one looks like someone who will leave him to die after using him. Maybe this is what gives Ray an epiphany and he finally sees sand. but at that point sand is done with him , so ray goes after him but sand doesn't want to anything with him ( understandable) and then we get the line from the trailer. i am not going to let you go after you have come into my life.

maybe in the middle of this comes the boeing plot , ( that chekhovs gun has to fire sometime ) and ray getting jealous, and ray going berserk on sand, claiming ownership. and sand is like I can choose aka do you think I don't have any dignity ?

what if mew goes back to top and ray finds out, but he's not that mad as he taught he will be , hes mad but he's more mad when he sees sand with boring. hes mad, sad, confused and on top of that he's drunk and high, maybe this scenario could be what gives clarity to ray on who he actually likes. except this is going to happen towards the ned of the show and sand has moved on and we don't get a raysand ending, then what I am I going to do.

( i would be happy if ray goes to rehab instead and sand stays away but the heart wants what it wants)

Mew trying to become Ray let alone date him was not on my bingo card for this week but I'm no professional bingo card designer, let's talk about this anyway

We all went into this show knowing it was going to be messy, asking for it to be messy, we're all weak for SandRay so RayMew is upsetting because we want Ray with Sand, sure, but setting all of that aside, the thing that is really concerning to me about the fact that Mew is choosing to rebound with Ray is the fact that he is very creepily BECOMING RAY while doing it. He's putting on a persona to handle his life right now and it's really unhealthy and boy needs to cut it out and get some therapy. (they all need therapy.)

At the beginning of the episode, before the confrontation with Boston, Mew is dressed more or less as himself. He and Ray do dress similarly on a base level- they both wear a lot of patterned, unbuttoned shirts over a second shirt, but Mew normally wears stripes over tshirts, and mostly light colours with a lot of blues and greens. Ray wears a lot of darker colours and patterns with shapes and designs, with a lot of reds, tans, and oranges.

After blasting Boston into the pool and delivering one of the most satisfying kicks on television, before going for his confrontation with Nick, we get the creepy tub shot of Mew sinking into his misery and his upcoming revenge era-

To put on his Ray cosplay, he's gotta sink down into the deep. This isn't a rebirth or an emergence of a new, stronger version of himself; this is him descending, covering himself and his hurt with someone else's aura and attitude so that he can cope with the path he's decided he needs to go on to burn his enemies and get his revenge.

He tries it out when he goes to see Nick and it works for him-

This is his soft launch, where he's up against someone else who has, or feels he has, been done wrong by Boston and Top (and done wrong, obviously) but that Mew knows is vulnerable. Mew pushes on Nick to help getting his revenge on Boston, and Nick crumbles. Using this persona, this attitude, is working for him.

He uses it to hunt down Gap next, another trial run, that goes flawlessly for him as well.

He's got the black tank, the necklace, and a black, white, and grey shirt this time, another test of borrowed confidence. And he's successful: he pulls Gap with almost no effort, he gets the file, he's ready to go now. He's used the Ray based persona twice with people he doesn't know, his confidence is up, which means he's ready to use it on someone he does know.

So when he gets ready to confront Boston, we get a whole sequence of him preparing for the battle, and checking all the details. There's a lot of very close up shots of his face and eyes here that I left out of the gifs because this scene was already long, and a lot of focus on each detail.

The necklace like Ray wears, a tanktop like Ray wears (but black! because this is Mew in his angsty villain era!), a patterned button up shirt like Ray wears, check the hair and go. Armored with this other persona, he's ready to handle Boston, and he does. Much, much better than Ray himself, mind you, compared to when Ray went and confronted Boston in the last episode.

The next big outfit switch we get for Mew in this episode (I'm not counting the whole big Top punching Mew confrontation since Mew and Ray are both just wearing their school clothes there) is Top's daydream about dancing with Mew. This whole sequence is so soft focus and Top looks so sad and there's no one else there which implies to me he's imagining this and it's not an actual memory, but either way we're back to Mew in stripes, with Top in stripes as well.

What's different about Mew and Top matching versus Mew matching himself to Ray? Mew and Top don't really MATCH so much as coordinate. They're often in different colours, different styles, different material shirts, etc. Like here, Mew is wearing an unbuttoned dress shirt with vertical stripes over a tshirt, while Top is wearing a collared polo shirt with horizontal stripes, AND they're wearing different colours. They work together without fully matching, and they're distinct to the characters as well. Even when their styles get a little closer, like Top wearing some solid colour button up shirts in episode 6 instead of polo shirts, he styles them differently than Mew does and I at least can't really picture them switching clothes and having the outfits really look right.

Meanwhile, the last scene of the episode, with Mew dancing with Ray, we get this-

Mew is dressed as Ray again, even shifting into Ray's common colour schemes with the flowers on this one. His first outfit when he went to see Nick was a trial and the pattern still had a lot of blues in it, but he's been shifting into darker colours with the tans and oranges we see Ray in pretty often with this.

(Ray, meanwhile, is wearing a shirt that looks like something Sand would have chosen for him, of course.)

Ray is reckless, Ray is fearless, Ray is bold, Ray is confident, Ray is wild and sometimes unpredictable, or he at least seems to be to the much more conservative Mew, so slipping into Ray's clothes and taking on what he thinks is Ray's persona is a way for Mew to push himself in ways he hasn't before. There's no way Mew could have handled his whole spy mission to get the video file from Gap as himself the way he has been; that's not in his wheelhouse.

From the preview for next week it looks like Mew is sliding into more of Ray's persona with the partying behaviors, and I don't think it's going to end well for him. But being with Top has taught him that trying to get someone to change is useless because they're still the same mess on the inside, so his decision to slide down the same path as Ray and let go of his inhibitions instead of trying to fix Ray is as unsurprising as it is self-destructive.

Seeing Mew take some kind of power over his life should have been satisfying, and in some ways it definitely was, like watching him burn the notebook page and try to put his foot down with Top, but then seeing him do it while spiraling mentally and slowly covering himself with Ray's outward persona at the same time was incredibly unnerving. Adding in him deciding to get involved with Ray romantically and it just speed ratchets up the unhealthy factor by a million miles a minute.

It also shows how well Mew actually knows Ray now compared to how well he thinks he knows Ray and who and what he thinks Ray is, that he could send himself down this path without seeing the writing on the wall about who Ray is trying to be and what Ray is trying to deal with behind Ray's substance abuse problems and everything else, but I imagine that will be part of the inevitable explosion that THIS impending disaster will also turn into, potentially very soon.

You can't fix your problems by pretending to be someone that you're not, especially if who you're trying to be is someone you know who is incredibly problematic and unhealthy themselves. It's a whole toxic situation even BEFORE you start trying to DATE THEM AT THE SAME TIME.

We wanted a mess and boy are we getting it.

At this point anything else other than death is a happy ending for him

I don't think Only Friends will have a sad ending, not for Ray and Sand, at least.

I think it won't be like that because Ray's life is already so damn tragic and sad and I can't imagine ANY kind of sad ending that, at the same time, could leave the audience satisfied, if Ray's fate were to suffer more, even worse if it were to be a type of suffering that would see him completely alone, with no one in his life. And I don't even want to dare think about his possible death.

"Only Friends" is a very, very intense and in some ways, dark BL but based on the experience I've had watching other BLs, I have that tiny hope that at least Ray will find his happiness.

And perhaps this will apply to all the boys. Why not? Life is hard enough, at least in dramas we deserve a happy ending.