Obey Me Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts

MC: Everyone has their own demons *points to brothers* MC: those demons are mine

Yes yes they do they can also do the murder

Diavolo: Do you have representation?

Mammon: I call upon my lawyer MC!

MC: My client is innocent!

Diavolo (pinching MCs cheek): Of course he is, case dismissed!

Lucifer: Lord Diavolo there's crisp clean video of Mammon stealing from-

Diavolo (petting & cuddling MC): MC said he's not guilty, so he's not. What's so hard about that?

Lucifer: MC do you handle murder cases?

Master piece and thank you cosmicstarlatte

MC: Would any of you ever start a cult for me?

Satan: You're asking us,

Lucifer: The seven lords of hell,

Levi: If we would start a cult for you

MC:

Lucifer: Where do you think we go Tuesday nights

Beel: *walks around the corner with a box*

Lucifer: Beel go put those corn dogs back.

Beel: yOu CaN't MaKe Me Do AnYtHiNg *sadly scooches away*

*Mammon bought him some later*

Mc: Hang on we need help for this.

Solomon: Alright fair enough but how are we going to get someone way out here-

Mc: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

Solomon:.....what are you doing-

*Mammon comes bursting through the treeline*

Mammon: WHAT HAPPENED!?

Mc: works every time.

Mc: *looks left*

Mc: *looks right*

Mc: spill the tea solomon

Asmo popping out of thin air: what tea?

Mc: AGHHHHHHHH

Lucifer: For the last time, you aren't allowed to have pets in here! Now send that cat away at once!

Satan: *hunched over in a gollum crouch while in demon form* MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS!

Levi: Your ugly when you lie Mammon!

Mammon: But, I'm not lying!

Levi: Then why are you ugly!?

Mammon: >:0

Satan: Prepare for trouble!

Belphie: And make it double!

Lucifer: For diavolos sake don't you dare do this again

*At an Anti-Lucifer club meeting*

Belphie: Alright, so what plan have you come up with to upset Lucifer

Satan: Allow me to show you

*opens a closet door and a ton of kittens pour out*

Belphie:..explain

Satan: I have trained them in the ancient art of causing minor inconveniences. They will serve to do nothing but bother our brother with their refined tactics!

Belphie: what.....how long did that even take?

Satan: Only but a month my dear brother. WE SHALL UNLEASH MY ARMY UPON HIM AND HE SHALL REGRET HIS LIFE CHOICES!

Belphie: as weird as your plan is, it's worth a shot

-------

*The cats were unleashed in Lucifers study*

Lucifer:..............

Lucifer: I will hang those to from the ceiling for decades so help me-

Luke: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.

Diavolo: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.

Barbatos: I wanted to have a good day today.. but no. Body horror.

Mc: Are you okay-

Barbatos: there's an eyelash in my eye.

Mammon to Barbatos, seconds before being stabbed with a butter knife: "What? Are ya gonna stab me with that butter knife?"

Mc: I lost me my wrongdude, have you seen it anywhere?

Lucifer:

Mc:

Lucifer: Mc, are you alright?

Mc, sobbing: Answer the question

Cannon, this really happened, I was there- I was the shirt Diavolo's wearing

this is exactly why i get nothing done in life

The exact vibe 👏👏👏

Random RAD student: How does it feel to be the most hated person at RAD

Mephesto smugly: Listen in a campus full of losers I wear as a fucking badge of honor

Thirteen in the background: What about the rumors that you kissed the human?

Mephesto: WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?!

The brothers: *looking suspiciously at the human food*

Mc: What?

Lucifer: This stuff… It's certainly disgusting

Mc: Oh, come on!!!

Belphie: Blew... looks as bad as it sounds…

Mc: Hear me out, if I can eat Charred Poison Belly Newt or Devildom Stir-fry with Toxic Chameleon, you can eat the fucking lentil stew.

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Mc and Mephisto walking around RAD

Demon: Hey Mc thanks for helping me with the job the other day!!!

Mc: You're welcome! If you need help again let me know.

Demoness: Mc, the song you recommended was awesome, come by the club soon!!!

Mc: I'll drop by there sometime.

Mephisto: It never ceases to amaze me how well you've integrated into Devildom despite being a human.

Mc: Well I grew up hearing that I was going to hell for this or for that. So let's just say I had my mind made up *sticks thumbs up*

Mephisto: What-

Mc: What I didn't expect was that this moment would come so quickly :D.

Mephisto: *covering his mouth with worry* I don't have words to refute that… But good for you… I guess.

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Beel: Mc is very angry….

Lucifer: Don't worry, they'll get over it soon.

Beel: How can you be so sure?

Lucifer: *smirk* Because I've enchanted the mayonnaise so they can't open it, they'll ask us for help.

Beel: Ooooh and do you think that-

A sound of glass breaking is heard and they run over there.

Lucifer and Beel: …

Mc: *with the broken glass mayonnaise jar in one hand* …. *staring at them* …

Lucifer: …

Mc: *being a proud bastard almost as much as the avatar of pride* Hum *leaves without saying anything to them*

Beel: I guess we'll have to look for another way…

Lucifer:… Sometimes I forget why they have a pact with me.

.

Mc: Remember when I told you about my period?

The brothers: ...

Mc: And how it was recommended that for those days there should always be chocolate and hot water bags because it helped me and gave me comfort?

Satan: Yes, we remember it...

Mc: And remember that I told you so you would not be caught off guard?

Belphie: Yeah...

Mc: Well *taking a breath*, it's time for us to talk about YOUR periods.

Mammon: We do not have periods!!!

Mc: *slamming the table* Periods, heats, mating time…. Call it what you want but it's time to talk about it!!!!

Levi: *very flushed* But...

Mc: But nothing!! I'm tired of waking up in nests in random places in the house time to time!!!! It's not nice to wake up with feathers in my mouth!!!!!

Lucifer:*blushing*...

Mc: I would also like to be prepared in case I find any animal corpses at the foot of the bed!!! I appreciate the thought but I am human!!!! I don't need you to show me that you can get resources!!!! That's what supermarkets are for!!

Satan: *dodging the gaze*

Mc: And it would really be nice to know when you produce pheromones, that would have avoided me a lot of problems in RAD.

Asmo: Ha, ha *nervous laughter*

Mc: Or to know when to prepare myself to wake up in a cave dug in the garden or underwater.

Beel: ...

Levi: ...

Mc: And it would not be bad to know that during your period you are showing your demonic forms, I almost had four heart attacks the first time I saw your eyes glowing in the dark Mammon!!!

Mammon: That was an accident...

Mc: *enumerating with their fingers* Or that your sleep schedule changes, or that you don't sleep at all, or that your temperature changes, or that some of you become non-verbal, or that your wings produce a specific sound as a call…

Lucifer: Enough *massaging his temples while blushing* It has become clear.

Mc: You didn't think that, as a human living with seven demons, I should know these things???

Mammon: We didn't think you would notice...

Mc: *looking at him exceptionally* Mammon, my dear, last time you brought me a cocatrix egg because it glowed.

The brothers: ...

Mc: This is my last warning! Either we talk and set schedules or I take Solomon and Luke and go live somewhere else.

The brothers: !!!!

Satan: *whispering* Why only Solomon and Luke?

Asmo: *also whispering* Mc has given this same talk to Lord Diavolo, Barbatos and Simeon….

Mc: *taking out a notebook* So stop behaving like a pubescent teenager and tell me how your periods are going and if I can help you in any way.

Lucifer: Okay, you win…but this is not like your period.

Mammon: It's not fair!!! It's not like we can avoid it

Levi: *covering his face* This is going to be worse than a public exhibition…

Asmo: Well, at least this way we won't have to hide it….

Satan: *sighing* Will it really do any good?

Beel: *worried* It won't be a problem for Mc?

Belphie: … Well, I do want them to spoil me on my period.

The brothers: Belphie!!!!

Mc: *holding back laughter* That's the spirit.

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I would like to write more extensive headcanons about it in the future 😊

Part 1 Part 2

MC: How do angels reproduce?

Simeon: Well, it's a very complicated process and the Father-

Lucifer: Mitosis

MC:

Simeon:

Lucifer, pointing to Satan: Mitosis

Lucifer: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Asmodeus: I see you're bursting out the spring colors.

———

Mammon, rolling down the car window: what seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: get the FUCK out of my car

———

Luke: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it

Luke: And I started thinking

Luke: Like it was just trying to get food

Luke: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck

Luke: How would I feel

Simeon: Are you okay???

———

Mammon: You should always say "please" and "thank you".

Baby! Satan, deadpanned: Please shut the fuck up, thank you.

Mammon: Not what I meant, but still progress!

———

Mammon: *flirts with MC*

MC: *flirts back*

Mammon, internally: i did not plan up to this point. what the fuck do i do now…?

———

Belphegor: *washing the dishes* Who the fuck used this pan??

Belphegor: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...

MC: It was you the fuck

Satan: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Beelzebub: He the fuck

———

MC: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an Energy Smoothie would it kill me?

Solomon: *shrugs* Only if you die young

MC, getting out the blender: You're so smart

Mammon, running into the room: MC STOP-

———

Satan: I'm gonna open a cat cafe, but I need investors. Here's the plan. The first floor will have normal cats, but as you go up, each floor will have more and more dangerous cats, and at the top floor is me with a gun.

———

Beelzebub: *is carrying all the groceries*

M: *holds out hand to help*

Beelzebub: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold MC’s hand*

———

Asmo: And once again, Asmo and Solomon save the day.

Barbatos: You didn't do anything. It was all Solomon.

Asmodeus: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.

———

Diavolo: Would you kiss me for 1k grimm?

Lucifer: Why?

Diavolo: Just curious

Lucifer, playing along: ..I suppose

Diavolo: [Slams 1k onto the table] would you look at that-

MC: Is stabbing someone immoral? Belphegor: Not if they consent to it. Satan: Depends who you’re stabbing. Simeon: YES?!?

MC: This is so frustrating! I hate this! I hate everyone! Luke: *voice crack* Everyone? MC: Oh, no. Not you. You're a delight to be around.

Lucifer: This is such a bad idea...

Diavolo: Then why are you coming along?

Lucifer: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

twerking

Beelzebub: why it's so hard to walk in the heels -almost fell- Asmodeus: -take the highest heels among three realms and start to do the catwalk, running, twerking and posing in the most glamorous way- Heh, weak.