Experience Tumblr Like Never Before
Kagehina wisdom tooth removal headcannons because my mouth ouch just woke me up and it’s too early morning to go back to bed:
Hinata-
- gets his top two removed when he is twenty due to them being at risk of squishing his big ass upper teeth into each other
- during the fasting pre op he just pouts and stares forlornly at the fridge (bro is pitifully rubbing his stomach like a colonial woman on her fourth baby during the Oregon trail)
- the second- and I mean SECOND- he takes the first calming pill he passes the fuck out. Bro has to be bodily shaken the morning of to get him out of bed
- while sedated he just stares blankly at the ceiling with his crazy eyes terrifying and traumatizing every dentist in the room
- Kageyama and Natsu are in charge of driving him home after (because heavily drugged Shoyo cannot be controlled by one person) and Natsu films literally the entire time
- once settled in at home he mostly just clings to Kageyama’s side and naps
Kageyama-
- bro gets all four with high risk of complications way later in life than most people because Lady Luck hates his ass (it goes fine he just isn’t allowed to blow his nose for a few weeks because his sinus gets bumped)
- during the pre op fasting/meds/waiting he is extremely paranoid and meticulous. He does every step perfectly without complaint is hydrated the exact maximum healthy amount possible by the time he goes in
- he somehow bribes Yachi into being his driver so Hinata won’t throw up from nerves and she spends the entire operation sweating bullets in the lobby
- shockingly friendly when drugged as it lowers his trust issues and makes him forget how threatening his smile can be (bro is giving Bruce from finding Nemo the whole time)
- he chats the dental assistant’s ear off when he’s being wheeled out, which makes him bleed a bunch and he’s stuck using the gauze for the rest of the night instead of as needed
- Hinata is waiting at home like Kageyama is at war. Drugged Tobio finds this baffling and is quite shocked to see his husband
- He sobers up fairly quick, though he still manages to humiliate himself in the mean time. The embarrassment sends him into a pouty rage and he can only be soothed with very fancy protein shakes and groveling for days
You think Hinata ever just bites Kageyama?…. Just like…. Really goes to town in a silly goofy nonsexual way… down to the bone type gnawing
Some Haikyuu (kagehina) headcannons that me and @jetjaw came up with together
- Hinata has REALLY bad object permanence. Like terrible. When him and Kageyama are living together, Kageyama takes advantage of it to get introvert cool down time. He’s always waiting for Hinata to turn around then bolting and Hinata will just forget who he was talking to.
- (this was according to a very questionable series of taro readings but it’s hilarious anyway) In a moment of weakness (obvs pre relationship) Kageyama hooked up with Atsumu. He regrets it because that is embarrassing as hell. Atsumu is also very awkward about it because wtf that’s his professional competition. When Hinata joins the Jackals and gets close to Atsumu (now him and Kageyama /are/ dating) he does not know about this. Chaos ensues as he tries to get his bestie/coworker and boyfriend/arch nemesis to get along but for some reason they’re really uncomfortable hanging out together outside of volleyball????
- Hinata fucking loves citric acid and potassium. The potassium thing is because he is always dehydrated. He doesn’t understand why juice with a lot of potassium tastes so good. It’s like crack for him. He gets withdrawals. He’s fuckin rabid if he doesn’t get his drink. One time the team gave him a Gatorade (electrolytes) and he was like “OH MY GOD ITS LIKE MY JUICE????”
- Kageyama is lactose intolerant. He does not like this.
- Miwa is naturally very introverted and sarcastic but took on the mantle of being the extroverted Kageyama TM. Her and Hinata get along so well it tortures Tobio.
- Hinata memorizes Kageyama’s particularities and saves them up for later. During a very intense argument Kageyama shouts that he “isn’t that particular!” Hinata proceeds to do everything how he does the next day and it drives him crazy. Socks? Matching. Coat? Fully zipped. Kageyama? Scared.
- In a similar vein, Hinata uses it to be spiteful in other ways when they’re fighting. Once Kageyama went to cook breakfast. Upon seeing all of the food in the fridge with their labels facing perfectly backwards, he proceeded to crash out so bad that Hinata never messed with his organization systems again.
- Kageyama comes out publicly after a public scandal over Ushijima and Tendo’s relationship. He isn’t even trying to come out he’s just very blunt about it and his PR can’t control him. An interviewer will be like “how do you feel about your teammate being gay?” And he’s like “that’s homophobic” 😐
- Hinata never comes out publicly. He doesn’t have to. Videos surface of him getting interviewed by influencers in Brazil (fresh out of a gay bar) and it’s made pretty clear. “So what are you doing this evening?” “Uhhh idk, but I just made out with a very nice guy!” :D
- they don’t have wedding bands, it’s too inconvenient for their sport and they’d just lose them.
- Kageyama only got away with the Atsumu hookup because it came out the same night he found out about Hinata hooking up with Oikawa
- Kageyama will bring Hinata to events when he’s still more famous and be mistaken as Hinata’s plus one. That short ass ginger has a GRIP on his waist and his voice PROJECTING.