Drugs Tw - Blog Posts

Okay, to put the negativity of the world aside. Here’s some nice little random doodles. 

hey. got involuntarily admitted for 3 weeks. i won't touch much upon the hell i went through but let's just say i am extremely jaded and bitter and angry. i have a severe bruise on my leg from attacking objects, and some more bruises elsewhere. my knees are further fucked from medical neglect. i was threatened with restraint within hours of arriving. nothing feels real and i keep breaking down in tears.

i just got out today. my bestie picked me up, we hung out, it was cathartic. i was going to be put into inpatient rehab, then i realized i didn't want to be locked up and was just being manipulated. then i tried for respite and outpatient, but respite won't have a bed until after thanksgiving. i'm terrified to even go now because i want to keep what control of my life i have left.

so now i'm home. with my abusive family. no one has seemed happy to see me. only my mom visited me, when i asked her to bring something. my psychiatrist at the ward broke HIPPA and told my mom i'm an addict, who then told my aunt, and now my whole family knows. my father included. i have already abused drugs within half an hour of being home.

i don't even have the option of relaxing in my own room, which i had begun turning into a safe haven, because my family turned it into storage. there is virtually no walking room and it is a massive safety hazard to me. they also killed half my roses, and the others are barely alive. they said they'd take care fo them. fuck my life. fuck all of this.

why is everything i touch dying.

We had a presentation on fentanyl recently

It made me think about a lot. My grandmother. My mother. Myself

Because of my nervous system dopamine deficiencies I have a higher chance of becoming an addict than most

Even if a drug is barely laced with Fentanyl it can and will probably kill you in an instant

I made a promise to not do drugs of any kind. I plan on keeping that promise

But shit man a 14 year old with ADD dies because he tried to take drugs to relax his symptoms and then dies less than two weeks after getting his hands on said drugs will fuck with me forever