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Bsd Chuuya - Blog Posts
Together Forever
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Chuuya x Dazai (Soukoku)
TW: Major Character Death, Angst, Major Angst, No happy ending, I love making characters go through hell, except Chuuya, which is why this isn’t in his pov, I felt evil today
Since the first time Dazai had witnessed the storm that was Arahabaki, Chuuya, he was enthralled.
Chuuya was human. So painfully human. So beautifully human.
After all, there was nothing more human than chaos and discord. The human need to find the most perfect, the most orderly form of chaos.
Chuuya was chaotic and he was perfect. The perfect form of chaos.
Human.
Chuuya was human.
Human.
_______
For the first time since Dazai witnessed the storm that was Arahabaki, Chuuya, he wasn’t enthralled.
Chuuya was human. So painfully human. So horrendously human.
After all, there was nothing more human than life and death. The conclusion to a human life, the inevitable cessation.
Chuuya was deadly and he was corrupt.
Human.
Chuuya was human.
Blood.
So much blood.
There was a burning in his chest from having run here.
He fell to his knees with no regard for the rubble beneath him. He pulled Chuuya into his arms.
Red. So much red.
Yet the body he was clinging to like a child to a stuffed animal was cold.
He could feel the lingering warmth leaving the body and seeping into his own in a cruel twist of fate.
He could feel as the warmth entered his own freezing body.
There was an annoying chattering sound somewhere in the rubble.
It was cold. It was cold and the body in his arms was becoming freezing to the touch but he couldn’t let go even as he shivered.
Chuuya was covered in red, further staining his abdomen in sticky red.
Cold.
It was so cold.
He curled himself over Chuuya as if to shield him from the cold, cruel world.
He was tired and cold.
He shivered, closing his eyes, pretending Chuuya wasn’t so freezing in his arms.
…
So cold…
________
It had been raining nearly all day. He couldn’t help but think it was painfully fitting.
The gravestone was large and elegant. It was surrounded by droves of people clad in black. Only those closest were allowed to be up near the grave.
When he finally made it up to the grave with the others, his melancholy grew.
In the middle of the gravestone, in large, fancy font was the word Soukoku. Below that on the left was Chuuya Nakahara and on the right was Osamu Dazai.
Apparently, when they were found together, it first looked as if only Dazai was clinging to Chuuya, but Chuuya had his hand clenched around Dazai’s coat as well. Out of respect, they weren’t separated.
He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt someone grab his arm. He looked up only to realize most people had left after the rain had gotten worse. He looked to his side before relaxing at the sight of Kyouka.
“Thank you.”
A/N: Requests are OPEN, read the rules, please
And if you can forgive, love will truly live
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Dazai x Reader
Prompt: “'Sorry for showing up like this.’ You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. ‘Come in.’”
TW: mentions of death (Oda), mentioned bad home life though not explicit
!Gender of reader is not specified!
A/N: I do plan on making a 2nd part where the reader and Dazai talk things out and get in a relationship, not sure when I'll finish it though
The word count for chapter 1 is roughly 2k
Also, this will be posted on my ao3, link on my master list
You had known Dazai for a long time, perhaps not as long as Chuuya has, but that’s beside the point.
While you had grown up around shady people and been dealing with said shady people’s shady shit pretty much your whole life, courtesy of your shitty, shady parents, you hadn’t actually joined the Port Mafia until you were 17. Two years older than Dazai and Chuuya, but joined the Mafia around roughly the same time Chuuya had.
With your ability, it didn’t take long for you to begin to climb the ranks. It wasn’t like you were trying to specifically reach the rank of executive, but gradually, you crept closer.
About a year and a half after you had joined you had made a name for yourself, and that was also about the time you had met Dazai and Chuuya for the first time during a bigger mission.
You had somehow managed to become something like friends with them on that mission and had become a somewhat regularity to be paired with them on large missions. You were tough enough to handle both their eccentric personalities as well as teasing enough to get along with Dazai and passionate enough to friend Chuuya.
It was a weird trio you had formed, often being the one to defuse them when they began to bicker. And of course, apologizing when they disturbed the everyday citizens with their fighting when the three of you had time off to just be kids.
Over time, you had begun to grow closer and fonder of Dazai, being able to relate to him more often than one probably should, but whatever. Sometimes, the two of you would find each other silently sitting at the docks staring off into nothingness, neither of you would talk, just simply get lost in your endless thoughts while enjoying the presence of someone who was similar enough to understand you.
On one such occasion Dazai had broken the endless silence of the waves below your feet; inviting you to join him to meet with his bar friends. That was when you met Ango and Oda. They were pleasant company and you had found yourself growing attached to them just like you knew Dazai was, though he would’ve probably denied it at the time.
So, when Dazai disappeared one night with no traces, followed by learning of Oda’s death. You knew.
That didn’t make it hurt any less of course. Especially with how his sudden departure shed light on your feelings for him.
While Chuuya presented himself to be finally rid of his presence, you both knew that Dazai leaving had hurt both of you. You had chosen to tell Chuuya Dazai’s reasons for leaving, not wanting the anger of Dazai’s leaving to grow into hatred, besides, Chuuya would’ve pieced it together eventually.
And like that. Everything continued. The Port Mafia didn’t mourn over its losses. Executive duties called.
So, when after 4 years of no contact, to say you were surprised at his being in the ADA would be an understatement.
You hadn’t had the chance to see him yet like Chuuya had but you were there to witness Chuuya’s drunken midnight rant after having invited you over.
“Oh, trust me, he’s as shitty a mackerel as he always has been. He hasn’t changed a bit.” Chuuya slurred off, grumbling under his breath as he laid his head down on the counter.
You were both sitting at the kitchen island, a bottle of some expensive wine brand, open and mostly empty now, was on the counter between you.
You sat with your body facing Chuuya, your head resting in your palm, elbow against the counter.
“Mhm. He hasn’t changed a bit huh?” You spoke more for the simple sake of speaking, entertaining the drunk man before you. You didn’t need clarification of something you already knew.
Dazai had always been capable of doing good. He just didn’t care between doing good or bad, it made no difference to him. He’s only working for the light because it’s what Oda wanted. Dazai not changing wasn’t a surprise. So Chuuya’s following words were a little less than expected.
“Actually…” He paused, slurring off again before clarifying his words, his head remained poised on the counter. “He looked… brighter?” He seemed to question his own words before continuing. “Brighter and healthier. He seemed…” Chuuya trailed off again but not due to his drunken state. He stopped himself from finishing his train of thought.
“Happier?” You finished for him.
He didn’t respond.
After that, you had practically forgotten about Dazai now being in the ADA, too busy with missions and the seemingly never-ending, growing stack of paperwork.
That was until tonight.
It had been a grueling past few days, rainy weather, long meetings, missions to assign, missions to report and file, and of course your endless stack of shitty paperwork that had somehow found itself in your home office, taking up even more of your own time which was already short considering your importance to the Mafia.
After you got home, sometime around the dead-ass crack of dawn, you had only grabbed a cup of coffee, one of the larger mugs you owned, before heading to your office for more work.
Sometime, while in the middle of reviewing some report, you had fallen asleep, lulled by the endless pitter-patter of rain hitting the window in your office.
You had slept most of the day away and upon waking, it had already grown dark outside, probably around 9 or 10 at night now, and you were thankful to whatever divine being had granted you a day off today because you would have been so fucking late. You chose to willfully ignore that Mori-san was technically the one who made your schedule. He was a good boss, competent in his decisions, but he was no divine being.
Stretching in your chair, you could feel the soreness of your muscles from the previous day of work. There was a tightness in your back, worse than it normally was, courtesy of sleeping in your chair.
A knock sounded on your door, soft when it made its way to your ears but still clear as it cut through the silence of the penthouse you called home.
You dragged your body to your door, still completely dressed head-to-toe in your typical Mafia outfit with the addition of a few wrinkles, your shoes clacking noisily on the floor.
“Coming!” You called out before the person waiting behind your door could think to knock again.
Reaching your door, you work through your security system before opening your door, behind, a man you hadn’t seen for 4 years.
Your tiredness slipped away from your body as you gasped. Your body now on alert as you stared at him.
He was dressed in, presumedly, his ADA outfit, light in color. His bandages still covered his neck, probably the rest of his body, but the ones that used to cover his eye were gone. He had clearly gained weight since you had last seen him, though he still lacked a significant amount of meat on his bones someone his age and height should have.
Chuuya was right, he looked happier. No. That was wrong. He didn’t look happy. He looked… sad? Guilty?
They weren’t emotions you were familiar with seeing on him. Sure, you had seen both emotions on people in the Mafia during interrogations… but on Dazai? No. He hardly ever even faked them.
He did look brighter though. Healthier.
He also looked- no was drenched. His clothes were darkened by the rainwater still pouring outside. Dripping water on the carpeted floor. You could see a few dark spots on the floor down the hall, marking his trail.
He beat you to a response.
“Sorry for showing up like this.”
You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. “Come in.”
You stepped to the side, letting him in.
You closed the door behind him as he observed the expensive and modern decorations. It lacked any personality, at least to an untrained eye. If one looked closer, you could make out a knick-knack here or there that didn’t quite fit the rest of the rather drab decorations.
It lacked vulnerability.
Your bedroom, though, where only you went into, your interests bled out.
“I assume your room has more personality than this, no?” Dazai’s tone was off. A half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood.
“Vulnerability isn’t something Mafia Executives have the luxury to indulge in often.”
He didn’t respond.
“You can hang your coat on the rack.” You spoke, staring at his back as he walked into your home. “And take your shoes off.”
You turned down the hall towards your room, leaving Dazai to settle.
As you walked you called out to Dazai, not facing him. “I should have some clothes that fit you.” Then as an afterthought, “I want you to take a shower.”
When you walked back into the living room with some clothes, Dazai had actually listened, his coat was hung up and his shoes were in the genkan, he had also taken off his socks, probably soaked after being out in the rain.
You walked up to him, handing him the clothes. “Go take a shower. There should be some rolls of bandages in there, though I’m not sure how many I have left.”
He took the clothes from you silently, then: “Thank you.”
You looked him in the eyes, trying to discern how much you didn’t know about him anymore. How much you needed to learn about him.
“Have you eaten?” You spoke calmly, trying to ignore the thoughts and feelings swirling inside you without end.
“I-…” He hesitated. “No. I haven’t.”
Without another word, you left him to go take a shower. It was probably a good idea to make something to eat anyway, considering you were currently running off of a single cup of coffee.
You decided to not bother to cook and instead pulled out two packets of ramen in part because you were still tired as fuck, and you didn’t know if Dazai’s eating habits had changed or not.
It was better to settle for something simple that he might eat if you were lucky.
It didn’t take long for the ramen to finish heating up and for you to place it in two bowls so you placed them on the table. You were about to go check on Dazai when he turned the corner into the living room.
Something was off, he had changed into the clothes you got for him, and his hair was still wet, dripping water off of his soft curls. He seemed… hesitant -nervous? More so than he had been before taking a shower.
“I made ramen.” You spoke, realizing you had been looking for a bit too long. You gestured to the table with the two bowls full of still steaming ramen.
“Thank you…” His voice was quiet, low. He clearly wasn’t bothering to hide his hesitancy, or perhaps he was just failing miserably in trying.
You sat down at one end of the table and busied yourself with eating. You watched him shift over to the seat adjacent to you.
Your eyes widened in upon noticing. “You’re not wearing your bandages?”
He shifted in his seat, avoiding your gaze.
“The hoodie and shorts are soft…”
The ‘and I trust you’ went unsaid but understood.
Your face softened around the edges.
“Eat.”
He responded with a nod before picking up his chopsticks.
Soon enough you had finished your food, and though Dazai only ate half, it was more than you were expecting him to eat. You placed your dishes in the sink to deal with another time before returning to the table, though you remained standing. Dazai had yet to get up.
“Do you want to watch something? I have a day off so…” You trailed off awkwardly.
He looked up but he didn’t quite meet your eyes.
“Sure.”
The only light currently on was the blue light emitted from the television that was playing some show you were hardly paying any more attention to. After a few episodes, you had shifted from sitting awkwardly on opposite sides of the couch to where Dazai was now practically lying on top of you. He was lying his head on your chest with his face turned towards the screen, invested in whatever show it was that was playing. You had let him pick. You were far more interested in watching as he relaxed into you as you ran your fingers through his now, mostly dry, curls.
“Tired?” Your voice no more than a whisper.
“No…” He responded; a hint of a tired whine interlaced in it. A tone his voice always had when he was tired just didn’t want to sleep in lieu of whatever he was currently doing, which at the moment was watching a show while cuddling with someone he hadn’t seen in 4 years.
“Sure~.” You teased as your nails gently scratched at his scalp.
He grumbled something softly into your chest.
You knew how bad, how dangerous your next thought was. It could end badly for both of you, but you couldn’t help when the words slipped from your tongue.
“Why don’t we go to bed hm?”
He responded with an unintelligible whine, pressing his face further into your chest, as he wrapped his lanky arms around your back.
You sighed softly but even if he had clearly put on more weight, he still wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight against you physically speaking. You gathered what remaining strength you had in you as you wrapped your hands around his waist before shifting to a sitting position. Then you secured your arms under him to lift him up in your arms.
“Come on, you lanky beanpole. Time for bed.”
The talk could wait for tomorrow, after all, he couldn’t leave with his clothes still in the washer.
PT 2
Oneshot -Pushing and Pulling. Home.
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya
A/N: This is the fanfic version of the comic with quite a bit more detail in it than the comic did. It has Dazai's direct thoughts leading up to his attempt from the beginning of the comic, as well as a look at Chuuya's own thoughts.
TW: blood, self-harm, suicide attempt, language
A/N: Also posted on Ao3
Comic version HERE
Nothing…
Numbingly empty…
A mirage of thoughts ran rampant throughout his mind with no end in sight. They pushed and pulled him down with arms of inky black darkness into the sheets below.
The tug had been growing worse, harder to ignore over time. It came on gradually, leaving him little chance to fend them off before he realized it was too late. It had taken him too long to notice the grip of the demons in his mind.
He didn’t want to admit that even after defecting from the Port Mafia, after surviving for two years underground, after doing everything for Odasaku, he hadn’t changed.
Even after all of Fyodor’s bullshit, and he and Chuuya had finally become partners again -though now it meant more to them.
He hadn’t changed.
It had been a while since he had genuinely attempted anything, what with Chuuya’s watchful eyes. That and when he was around Chuuya, the darkness of his thoughts often receded, soothed by the ethereal man he had the undeserved privilege to call his lover.
Sadly, with their differing jobs, it was simply impossible to be with Chuuya every minute of every day.
In fact, Chuuya was currently away on an abroad mission. He was set to be back sometime tomorrow after having been gone for an entire month.
Without Chuuya around to soothe the demons in his head, he fell.
He fell victim to the grabbing hands.
Pushing and pulling.
Inky blackness.
His face contorted in a frown as a restlessness overtook him.
‘He’ll be back tomorrow.’ He tried telling himself through the cacophony of countless thoughts. Fruitless, really, but he didn’t want to hurt Chuuya. Not again.
Pushing.
Pulling.
Blackness.
Darkness.
It filled his lungs like thick black blood.
Sweet like honey with the seducing promise of relief.
A quiet mind.
With no thumping beat of a heart.
Pushing.
Pulling.
His feet hit the ground before his mind could stop him.
Pushing.
Pulling.
His hand reached for the door to the bathroom.
Pushing.
Pulling.
Chuuya had stopped messaging daily sometime after the first week. Too busy with his mission.
Chuuya hadn’t messaged him since last week.
Pushing.
Pulling.
What if he was hurt?
What if he didn’t come back.
Pushing.
Pulling.
What if he didn’t want to come back?
Pushing.
Pulling.
His clothes hit the floor by the door, the bandages on his arms and legs following.
Pushing. Pulling.
The blade cut, stinging.
Through his skin.
Through the bandages still covering his chest.
Red.
Pushing. Pulling.
Inky red blood flowed out. Seeped into his skin.
Into the pristine white covering him.
White never did suit him.
Pushing, pulling.
The water from the faucet meshed horrendously with his rampant thoughts.
His vision was flooded with a bloody red color as his arm reached out in front of him to stop the running water.
Waves of steam rolled off and over the tub.
Pushing, Pulling.
The water bled red as he stepped into the tub.
Burning.
A pleasant burning from where the blade had cut through him and from the water as it came into contact with his skin.
The burning water seeped through his bandages, further burning.
Burning to combat the endless, bone-deep, freezing cold.
The inky red blood polluted the water.
Pushing.
Pulling.
Pushing and pulling him into a soothing embrace of darkness.
Quiet.
_____________________
The door clicked behind him softly.
He could feel the exhaustion deep in the marrow of his bones as he hung up his coat and haphazardly kicked off his shoes into the genkan.
He called out into the quiet house.
“Dazai! I’m home!”
He was greeted with silence.
He was supposed to arrive home the next day, so perhaps Dazai was asleep?
It was well past 2 in the morning.
But Chuuya knew Dazai always struggled to fall asleep. And since Dazai began to live with him, he relied on him to sleep.
‘I need my Chibi heater to stave off the cold! If you leave, then I’ll be left freezing and awake!’
The memory flashes through his head as he places his hat on the dining room table.
“Dazai?”
Silence.
He made his way towards their shared room when he noticed the bathroom light on.
He knocked softly on the door as he called out to him.
“Dazai?”
There was no response.
A seed of fear sprouted into a hideous flower in his gut.
Dazai wouldn’t… He had been clean for so long now.
He called out again, hopeful to get a response this time.
“Dazai? Are you in there?”
Silence.
He reached to open the door, unlocked.
His mind went blank as he looked at the bloody scene in front of him.
He stood there for a second that felt more like an hour, a day, a month.
He could see the steam from the likely scalding temperature of the water.
The blood was a vibrant red. Fresh.
The scent of iron filled his nostrils.
Then the panic set in.
He suddenly felt like a victim to the gravity he normally had flawless control over.
He rushed forward to check Dazai’s pulse, with little care for the blood staining his clothes.
Through his own rapid breathing, he was able to subtly feel Dazai’s slow pulse.
There was so much blood.
He let his mind wander to what could have happened while he was gone while he fell back to old habits. Picking up Dazai’s limp body, unplugging the drain, pulling off what remains of his bandages. Rinsing the blood still on him, redressing his wounds with two layers of bandages to avoid any more bleeding.
When he got to the ‘clothing Dazai’ step in his habitual process, Dazai began to stir into consciousness as he pulled up boxers over his legs.
He hardly noticed as his mind continued to drift. His hands moved to pull one of Dazai’s heavenly soft sweaters over him.
He left Dazai sitting on the stool in the bathroom as he finished cleaning the mess, mumbling to himself as his mind returned from drifting.
“…got Dazai cleaned, bandaged, and dressed…”
He pulled off his blood-soaked gloves, tossing them into the trash.
“Dinner can wait I guess… and I’ve got to change…”
He looked over himself, clothes stained red in blood.
“Dammit! And I’ve still got that report…”
A soft sniffle from behind him pulled him from his thoughts.
Behind him was Dazai, still sitting just like how Chuuya had left him to clean up.
He crouched down in front of him, reaching out to wipe some of his tears. Hesitant on whether Dazai was up for touch.
When Dazai didn’t shift away he brought his hands down to gently run along Dazai’s thickly bandaged knees.
He was at a loss for words, not having quite come to terms with the fact that if he had returned tomorrow, as was planned, Dazai would have been dead when he found him.
“…Do you wanna talk about it?”
His voice hardly sounded like his own, tentative, shaky, unsure.
Finally, a response reached his ears.
“Not really…”
Dazai’s eyes were blank, devoid of any feeling, as he looked into them.
He closed his eyes, sighing, both at finally being able to hear his voice and at the emotionless stare.
Then, Dazai spoke again.
“Can we… talk tomorrow?”
He didn’t realize he had been frowning until he felt his lips pull at a small smile.
Before they had gotten together, Dazai would never have asked to talk about something. If he didn’t bring up something then Dazai would never do it. And even when he did try to bring something up, Dazai would attempt to deflect and distract him from the conversation.
“Yeah… tomorrow. For now… I’ll change, we can order food and watch a movie. How’s that sound?”
“Cuddle?”
A soft chuckle left his lips at the hesitant tone Dazai spoke in.
“Yeah.”
Chuuya was hardly paying attention to the show, thinking of everything they would have to talk about tomorrow.
He felt Dazai nuzzle into him, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked down at the soft brown curls against his chest. Dazai’s head was turned toward the TV but from what he could see, Dazai’s eyes were closed, asleep.
He smiled, letting his eyes close.
He could feel sleep begin to overtake him now that he was finally home.
Home being the man in his arms.
Comic -Pushing and Pulling. Home.
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya
TW: blood, self-harm, suicide attempt, language
Fanfic version: Pushing and Pulling. Home.
It's also posted on my ao3 which is now linked on my master list
BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Dazai:
-Relationship Headcanons
-Come here. Sit with me. - x Chuuya -Why are you awake? - x Chuuya -Pushing and Pulling. Home. - x Chuuya / Comic version -A Trick of the Eyes - x Chuuya / +Art -Together Forever - x Chuuya
-And if you can forgive, love will truly live , PART 2 - x Reader -Perhaps in another life. In another time - x Reader
Chuuya:
-Relationship Headcanons
-Come here. Sit with me. - x Dazai -Why are you awake? - x Dazai -Pushing and Pulling. Home. - x Dazai / Comic version -A Trick of the Eyes - x Dazai / +Art -Together Forever - x Dazai
Fyodor:
-Relationship Headcanons
Requests:
Rambles:
-I'm procrastinating
Alternate Universe:
-Mordred's Lullaby
Relationship Headcanons
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
TW: none? I think?
DAZAI
I said it in my Soukoku fic, Dazai wouldn’t know affection if it slapped him in the face ten times
Like he might realize when someone is showing interest in a sexual kind
And he would probably notice if someone is crushing on him
But like, if he likes them back?
No
Man is blind
He’s too busy panicking over read denying his own thoughts and feelings over you to analyze your actions
He’s busy trying to think of anything but how pretty you are when he sees you -thank you very much
No joke though, this can be applied to pretty much anyone he cares about
I mean he practically had a heart attack when Atsushi gave him flowers
Anyways if he finally admits to himself that he likes you then I could see him trying to push you away if I’m being brutally honest
He doesn’t want to lose you and he believes that anything he wants that he obtains, will be striped from him sooner or later
But…, in a perfect world he would eventually work up the courage to ask you out
He would probably avoid directly asking you but this is Dazai so he could defiantly figure out some round-about way to ask
As for the relationship?
He would still be his teasing self
But he would tone it down
Not because he doesn’t want to annoy you but more so because he actually lets some of his masks down when alone with you
He defiantly is very clingy to you
Man has been touch starved for a long time and he fears attachment too much to be touchy with the ADA members
But now he has you, who not only tolerates him but has decided to stay with him?
Of course he’s not going to let this chance slip from his grasp before all this inevitably ends (he’s still in denial)
He never cared much for holidays like Christmas or Valentines
But now he wants to experience them, with you
He’s always thinking, plans and outcomes racing through his mind, what ifs and regrets
But like, if you ruffle his hair, his brain just stops.
Like no thoughts, he short circuits
When his brain returned to him the first time it happened he panicked
Like, who gave you that amount of control?
After that first time he continued to try and get you to do it without asking
He needed his brain to shut up every now and then, and now he has a reliable source
Anyways, he likes to be a spoiled princess
No one can change my mind
For all his predictions he will never be able to predict your love and kindness for him
CHUUYA
Someone give this poor man a hug
Ugh, my heart
I can‘t imagine him wanting to date a normal citizen, too much of a risk
So you’d probably have to work in the Mafia
Even then, dating you would still be placing a huge target on you
He would actually take you out on dates before asking you out
Dates with him would be romantic
Like dinner by candle light vibes
He’d be strategic on where you guys sit
No need to be precarious on what you order, it’s all on him
When he does ask you out he would be slightly flustered but it just makes him adorable
Say yes, he doesn’t deserve to be hurt any more
He would spoil you to no end
If you want it, you can have it
You’re the only one allowed to call him short
He might get flustered from PDA in the start but will gradually warm up to it
Nothing clingy, just hand holding, a hand around your waist, a quick kiss here or there
But if he sees some guy hitting on you?
Down right possessive, arm snug around your waist, shoulder to shoulder
And if he’s drunk? Even worse
Like he’s pulling you onto his lap just to make sure that asshole knows your taken
If you do work in the mafia with him, he likes going on easier missions with you
And while he knows that you can handle yourself just fine, he can’t help but imagine something bad happening to you when he isn’t there to save you
He’s lost too many people in his life, please, don’t leave him as well
He loves when you rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat
And while you do that he’ll run his fingers through your hair
Chuuya loves to spoil you rotten as I stated, it’s his love language
So sometimes he’ll just hand you his black card and let you go shopping with friends or something
In fact, he encourages you to buy what you want
FYODOR
Honestly? Where do I start with him?
Like congratulations if you meet him and make it out alive
I don’t know if I should congratulate him taking an interest in you though
I feel like he believe that the interest he had in you was purely innocent curiosity
But I also don’t think he would try to delude himself for as long as Dazai does
Eventually he would notice that something was different about his interest for you than usual
And while he would hesitate to put a name to it so quickly he would eventually give in after realizing there was no stoping this feeling from festering in him
After coming to terms with his romantic? Feelings and interest in you he would definitely begin to manipulate you into feeling the same way for him
If you don’t already that is
If you don’t confess then he’ll definitely do the same thing Dazai did
And when you agree, he of course knew you would, he makes you move in with him
He can’t let his dearest other slip from his finger now can he?
I feel like before ever getting into a relationship, you would have been made aware of his ‘work’
Please, make sure the man eats
And takes his iron pill
Nikolai is getting a little tired of that daily routine despite how much he loves to be around Fyodor
Anyways, dates aren’t a very common thing in fact, very, very rare
I mean… what did you expect?
Man’s a literal terrorist
That being said, from time to time he’ll leave his ‘lair’ to spend time with you
If you ask, he’ll gladly play the cello for you
If he snaps at you for ‘bothering him with pointless things’ when you bring him his iron pill or food just listen
Don’t bother him with such things
And then same thing the next day
And after some 4 or 5 days he’ll stumble from his room
Staggering as he tries not to collapse or faint from both his lack of energy and his iron deficiency
And when he walks into the kitchen trying to get the iron pill bottle open?
Let him stumble his way over to you and ask for help before you finally do as such
And he realizes just how dependent on you he’s become
It’ll happen again eventually
But as of that moment, it’ll at least be awhile before the cycle repeats
(That last part of Fyodor’s was based upon some fanfic I read for him. I'm not sure who it was by, but I’ll tag it if and when I do find it.)
A/N: anyways, believe it or not, I love Chuuya just as much as I do Fyodor and Dazai
I’m just not as confident in his character. Since I’m a lot like Dazai, he comes easy to me and by substitute, Fyodor does as well
But Chuuya? Despite him being one of my 5 favorites along with Dazai and Fyodor, I just don’t resonate personally enough with him to write him really well
Come here. Sit with me.
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya
Prompt: “Come here. Sit with me.”
TW: none that I can think of.
A/N: Also posted on my ao3, the link is on my master list
It was a relatively slow day.
After everything with Fyodor and the Decay of Angels had settled, everyone had gotten a well-deserved few days off.
Their relationship had been slow to reach the point it was at now, what with Dazai’s disappearance from the Port Mafia and his 2-year absence before re-emerging in the Ada and then another 2 years before Chuuya and Dazai had actually run into each other.
What had been left of their relationship was smoldering coals. They still trusted each other, as Chuuya had hardly hesitated before using Corruption at Dazai’s request. But Dazai had treated Chuuya horribly, he had left without so much as a text explaining what he was doing. He had blown up his car.
He didn’t believe it was possible for someone as divine and beautiful as Chuuya to have any fraction of a good thought about him. Sure, he had patched up Dazai plenty of times when he was in the Port Mafia and he had stopped him from many attempts but it was only because he relied on Dazai to use Corruption,… right?
And yet, here he was, in Chuuya’s penthouse, with him, being taken care of. He and Chuuya had gotten closer, closer than they ever were. They had yet to put a label on it.
And while Dazai knew that it was only because of their clashing schedules, their different jobs. They worked on different sides now. Dazai knew that they simply hadn’t the time to truly talk about it. And then everything went to absolute shit with Fyodor and then they hardly had time to even relax on their own time.
But now everything was over. The dust had settled and they finally had time to talk and to sleep, to just be around each other. Chuuya was back to making sure Dazai ate three meals a day, even if his portions were small. But… they hadn’t talked about it yet.
Dazai tried to not let the sapling of doubt grow and bloom within, but his own self-deprecation was relentless in its ability to make him spiral in his thoughts. He was supposed to be relaxing but his brain couldn’t seem to shut itself up.
“Dazai?”
A voice snapped Dazai from his never-ending thoughts. The voice, Chuuya, his brain provided for him, sounded from the direction of the living room. Dazai was still sitting on a stool at the kitchen island. He had been doom-scrolling as his brain spiraled.
Deciding to finally stretch his legs, he stood up. He stretched until he heard his back pop, sighing as he dropped his shoulders, and relaxed. He sluggishly made his way toward the living room. The sleeves of the sweater he was wearing were rolled up to his elbows and his hands were in his pockets.
“Yes?” He stopped at the entrance of the living room, looking towards where Chuuya sat on the couch, the TV had some movie on that Dazai didn’t care to figure out.
Chuuya looked up towards Dazai, a small, pleasant smile adorned his face. “Come here. Sit with me.”
Dazai didn’t have the energy to whine about how the dog shouldn’t be the one giving out orders, the exhaustion showing itself as prominent bags under Dazai’s eyes, so he wordlessly listened. Walking languidly to the open spot next to Chuuya, who immediately brought his arm from the back of the couch to Dazai’s waist to pull him closer as soon as he was sat on the couch.
“So… you’ve been living with me for the last few months…” Chuuya trailed off as if he wasn’t sure how to continue or word his question.
Dazai stilled, though tried his best to hide it. So they were having that conversation. Had he done something over the last few months to annoy Chuuya to get him to kick him out? Of course, he had, what was he thinking? He couldn’t stop his destructive habit of annoying Chuuya till he retaliated, more often than not, physically and violently. He had done it when they first saw each other after 4 years. Surely Chuuya has realized how horrible Dazai is and is going to kick him out. He only wants to let him down gently…
_____________________________
Chuuya felt Dazai tense under his arm. Though he hid it exceptionally well, as expected of an executive, even if he no longer is one. Chuuya’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have even noticed had he not had his arm around him and his trained eyes on him.
It was hard to tell what was going through his mind, and he doubted it was easy to understand even if he could see it all happening in front of him. He imagines it would be too fast to comprehend most of it.
But while he can’t read his mind word for word, he does know Dazai better than anyone else. He was the brawn to Soukoku and Dazai was the brain. They had to be able to read each other to some degree to function as one. So Chuuya had an inkling of an idea what Dazai was thinking.
It was probably something self-deprecating, and probably something Chuuya would find stupid.
Truly, Dazai was the smartest dumbass he knew. A genius who wouldn’t know affection if it slapped him in the face ten times,… or punched him perhaps a few too many times that he had lost count.
Chuuya pulled himself from his thoughts. He needed to relax Dazai so he could get it through his thick genius skull how much he loved the lanky man sitting next to him. He let his hand on Dazai’s waist rub nonsense shapes into his sweater in a comforting manner.
“Relax, it’s nothing bad.” He spoke in what he hoped was a comforting tone. It seemed to work as Dazai minutely relaxed into his side, though traces of his overthinking mind still lingered.
“You’ve lived with me for the past few months… and now that all the dumb shit with Fyodor is done and over with, I… I want to take a step further if you are ready, or if you even want to…” Chuuya trailed off awkwardly. They didn’t often voice their emotions or thoughts to each other, not really seeing the need for it as they were typically adept at reading each other. If they weren’t capable of at least that then they wouldn’t have ever been such terrifyingly great partners.
But at last, it seems that neither of them is knowledgeable enough on the topic of affection and love with how blind they are to each other's feelings towards them. At least… Chuuya hoped that was the emotion in Dazai’s eyes that he couldn’t seem to read. He hoped it was a mutual feeling of love.
____________________________
Dazai’s mind was attempting to process a million thoughts that were running miles in seconds. He was so caught up in them that he hardly realized what Chuuya had said, so terrified of being rejected before he even had the chance to confess. He had to backtrack his thoughts to process what Chuuya had said and when he did…
How… How did Chuuya not hate him? How can someone he treated so horribly, like nothing more than a dog not hate him? Him. How could anyone ever feel anything other than disgust and loathing when thinking of someone like Dazai?
He vaguely felt something wet on his face, but his mind paid no attention to it in lieu of overworking its ever-present self-deprecating thought process.
____________________________
Chuuya could see, and feel, as Dazai stilled in his arms once again.
And then, as Chuuya looked at his face with slight worry, he saw it.
Tears.
Chuuya can’t recall a time he’s ever seen or heard Dazai cry during their 7, almost 8, years of knowing each other. As an ignorant teenager, he believed that someone such as Dazai couldn’t cry, but he knew better than that now. Dazai was as much a human as anyone else, and therefore capable of crying, of being sad, of feeling.
Dazai’s body trembling slightly pulled him from his thoughts. He now reached to rearrange Dazai to face him on the couch. Though Dazai didn’t fight it, he didn’t seem to respond to the movement at all, completely lost in his endless thoughts.
Chuuya reached out his hand to Dazai’s face, cupping his cheek gently. Dazai made no reaction.
“Dazai? Hey, you alright?”
Dazai blinked and suddenly he seemed to be present once again. He looked up at Chuuya with glass eyes.
Chuuya offered a small smile. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Dazai responded, his tone flat as he looked at Chuuya.
Chuuya noted that Dazai probably wasn’t even aware he had cried.
“Dazai, you’re crying.” He let his thumb rub under Dazai’s left eye in a hopefully comforting way.
“Oh…” Dazai made no movement to wipe away the tears, rather, it seemed like the admittance of it brought down the last bit of Dazai’s barrier.
Dazai looked down and the tears once brimming his eyes fell down his face. Chuuya’s hand previously resting on Dazai’s cheek had moved down to the back of his neck when he looked down and now slightly tugged, prompting Dazai to cling to him.
Dazai’s voice was shaky when he spoke. “H-how…” His voice faltered but Chuuya let him work out his words.
“H-how could you possibly love me? Me? All I’ve ever done was treat you like shit…”
Chuuya sighed. He had a feeling that was the reason behind Dazai’s reaction.
“Yeah, you’ve treated me like shit plenty of times, as I have with you. But you also have saved my life so many times I’ve lost count. And you’ve reassured me I was human every time you noticed me doubting it, even if you often found a way to insult me while doing so. No matter how much we teased and annoyed each other when it came down to it, we had each other's backs. We have each other’s back. There’s no one I trust more than you.”
Dazai looked up at Chuuya in shock, as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“There’s no one I love more than you, Osamu.”
Dazai clung to Chuuya, burying his face into the crook of Chuuya’s neck. Though Chuuya couldn’t see the tears cascading down Dazai’s face, he could feel them soak into his shirt and he could hear Dazai’s choked back sobs.
Between Dazai’s sobs, Chuuya just barely caught his choked-out words.
“I love you too, Chuuya.”
Chuuya: There’s no way that’s real.
Adam: I’m afraid it is.
Chuuya:…Shirase!
Shirase: What’s up?
Chuuya: When you were in England did an alarm go off to tell you it was tea time?
Adam catches Shirase’s eye from behind Chuuya and nods his head.
Shirase: Oh the tea alarm. Yeah it was weird but eh you get used to it.
Chuuya: You guys never see eye to eye but now you wanna work together? There’s no tea alarm!
Shirase: Hey man believe what you want but that thing is real and kept waking me up in the middle of the night.
Adam: Speaking of…the alarm is blaring.
Chuuya: Even if there was one, which there isn’t you’re in Japan.
Adam: And normally that would exempt me from such a thing but as a superior robot I can be notified when the alarm is going off.
Chuuya: Yeah? Well good luck we don’t have any-
Adam holds up a tea cup.
Chuuya:…tea. Where did you get that?!
Adam: Naturally I am always prepared for such occasions as I am often abroad.
Chuuya: I hate both of you.
Dazai's down bad
The ginger was too disbelief to speak
Uh..
is there a bsd fandom on this app idk
💥NOT A SHIP POST 💥
DAMN😧😐
You so lucky dazai😏
aAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!😭❤️
Sillies
Omfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfg
I love @zzzx009 !!
Day 6: meeting on the boss's lap
Goddess literally 🛐
i like dressing her up
Cuz he wanna feel ✨FaNcY✨
can someone please tell me why Dazai is holding that joystick like a fucking wine glass 😭
Them thighs 👀✨
Lost another bet
Chuuya is a cat
Oh yeah, he looks more like a cat than u can imagine