Bnha Crack - Blog Posts

daisyrae233

4 years ago

✨ BNHA CRACK ✨

What happens when Dekus dad returns?

This is gonna be straight word vomit. So buckle up and hold on to your hats Ladies,Gents,and the They’s cause here we GO!

What’s he gonna do when he comes home and realizes

Oh... My son has been practically adopted by All Might

He got into UA

Hes in the hero course

Befriended the number 2 hero’s son

He’s fought villains

Earned his provisional license

Did a work studies with both Night Eye AND Endeavor

Fought in a war

OH LETS NOT FORGET SOMEHOW HE GOT A QUIRK

AND OH YEAH HES CURRENTLY IN A COMA

I swear to fucking gods this man will have a whole mental breakdown

And then he’ll become this fucking meme

Honestly this poor man is gonna come home to straight fucking chaos

With little to no understanding as to what the bloody hell is going on

I hope Horikoshi introduces him

I’m sorry but I’ve been laughing about this for I don’t know how long anymore and I had to put it somewhere because none of my friends watch anime

I might do another post talking about Touya and Endeavor later but I still need to figure out my thoughts on that

SO ANYWHO

I do hope you enjoyed my chaos thoughts

Feel free to share your own thoughts or opinions

🍀 So have a wonderful evening/day and send out those good vibes 🍀

League of Villains Reactions to Dabi and Shigaraki’s Children (BNHA Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: There is only one thing worse than a rapist. *Boom* A child. Anyways, back to this wonderful request bc honestly, they’re always so amazing from this one🥺 I did both boys because *kiss* I love em both. Small warning: I have watched about as far as the beginning of bnha season 2… aka, all of these reactions are based purely on how I assume the LOV acts. Enjoy!

Word count: 1246

Dabi:

First of all, you already know this child just folds his arms and glares at everyone.

You dropped off your guys’ son at the Villain’s Lair since you would be busy with work for the day.

“Dabi, you gotta take care of him today.”

“YN-” You throw him a look that shuts him up instantly.

“Pfft, he’s whipped,” Twice whispers, only to squeal when a blue flame flashes toward his face.

Anyways, having Dabi’s son running around is hectic in more ways than one.

Toga, for example, loves children, but Dabi’s is more pain-in-the-ass than child.

“Aww, aren’t you just adorable!”

“...You seem like an idiot.”

Toga *pulling out knife* “Bitch-”

Moving on, as we all know, Dabi’s kid is basically his younger clone, so of course he’s gonna fuck with Spinner.

The little boy’s got a flame in his hand as he watches the older villain. “You’re a lizard, right? So if I burn off your limbs, they’ll grow back.”

…

“DABI GET YOUR FUCKING SON AWAY FROM ME!”

Kurogiri, on the other hand, tries to be the only adult in the situation.

“Dabi, please control your son before I send him to another dimension.”

“Psh, why?”

“... Because the kitchen’s on fire.”

“Ugh, I know. Isn’t he amazing?”

“... No?!”

In all honesty, Shigaraki locks himself in his room until it’s all over. Why? Because the kid almost incinerated his collections of hands. (You can occasionally hear his voice screaming from behind the door “I wAnT ThAt ChILd GoNe wHeN I cOmE bAcK oUt tHeRe!”)

Mr. Compress, however, is the natural showman of the group, so of course he’s gonna want to try and entertain Dabi’s son.

He puts on a magic show as Dabi’s kid sits on the ground, watching boredly with a fist curled under his jaw.

“Watch me turn this ordinary marble into a teddy bear!” *Snap* “TADAAAA!”

The man shrieks in fear as the toy blows up in smoke.

“Give me another one!” The young boy claps his hands excitedly.

“...Hahahahaha, erm, m-magic show’s all d-done for the day!” As he walks past Dabi leaning against the doorway with folded arms, Compress mutters, “The fuck is wrong with your son, dude?”

“He’s the best child a father could ask for🤧”

Soon, Twice has learned from the others’ experiences to steer clear of Dabi’s son.

(Just kidding, this guy tried to give him a motivational speech.)

“You can be anything you want to be! Don’t be afraid to be yourself!”

Dabi’s kid is just like *scared pikachu face* “Dude, are you okay?”

“nO.”

By the end of the day, Kurogiri has called you to specifically request that you find another place to leave your child while you are at work. (You’re the definition of P.O.ed that Dabi let his child misbehave as such)

“Please give the phone to Dabi.” Kurogiri hands Mr. Stitches the phone. “Yes my love?”

“Dabi…” He already knows from the way you spit his name that this conversation is going to end up a one-sided yelling match. You are the reigning champion after all.

So what does he do?

*Twenty minutes later*

“Y-YN?”👉👈

“I FUCKING TOLD YOU- Yes Kurogiri?”

“Dabi set the phone down and ran away like twenty minutes ago.”

… *sigh* “All right. I’ll come pick them both up.”

Shigaraki Tomura:

Do you even gotta ask?

The child throws fits. Of course he does.

Let’s get one thing straight-- this kid’s a brat. (Just like his daddy😍)

So when he throws fits, shit gets destroyed. That’s just life🤷‍♀️

Dabi, right off the bat, just hates this thing.

Initially, he’s like “Aw shit, there’s two of ‘em.”

Then it starts talking.

“Don’t fucking touch me, kid.”

“You’re right, you look fucked up enough.”

oop-

...“CONTROL YOUR SPERM, SHIGARAKI!”

To be fair, Shigaraki taught his child right away how to handle his quirk. He especially didn’t want you to get, y’know, decayed while trying to feed your son Cheerios.

But that doesn’t mean that the child doesn’t use it.

As we all know by now, Toga loves children, so she is the first one to introduce herself and try to play games.

That, uh, that doesn’t end well.

“MY KNIFE COLLECTION! NOOOOOOOO!”

Shigaraki’s just slowly trailing behind his son, watching everything he does and making sure he doesn’t do anything too terrible…. But then he gets bored, so y’know, whatever. Just do anything, idc.

The day begins with pissing off Toga, after which Kurogiri encourages her to step outside and cool off before she murders a murderer’s child.

Then Mr. Compress decides he can solve the issue.

✨Magic Show Time✨

“Watch me turn this ordinary marble into a-... what’s wrong?”

“This is boring.” Shigaraki’s son stands up and grabs the marble, incinerating it with two fingers. “When do we get to the fun stuff?”

“What fun stuff?”

“Fun stuff like KILLING EVERYBODY!”

Mr. Compress is just like 😑 as he walks away muttering under his breath. “These Goddamn kids always being so spoiled nowadays.”

Spinner is nowhere to be found. He’s already met a fully-grown Shigaraki, what makes you think he wants to see the fun-size version?

Moving on, up next we have Kurogiri, who tends to try and act like a father once again.

“It’s lunch time! Here you go!” He hands the child a plate of delicious food.

The young boy just stares in disgust. “A peanut butter and jelly sandwich? How old do you think I am?”

He’s five

“You’re five…”

“YEAH, THAT’S FIVE YEARS TOO MANY TO EAT FUCKING PB AND JS LIKE A PEASANT!”

The child runs away screaming and destroying everything he can find. Kurogiri purses his lips and decides he’s got too many children to deal with, so he’s gotta help one of ‘em grow up.

“Tomura, please come and tell your child to stop throwing a tantrum.”

“Why don’t you do it?!”

🤦‍♀️b r u h

“... because he’s your fucking kid!”

“... I don’t want to.”

Thankfully, the day ends quicker than the others realize, and soon enough you’ve returned to pick up your and Shigaraki’s child.

You’re just standing in the entryway as an exhausted Kurogiri joins you.

“How was he today?”

“YN… you deal with that every day?”

“Ahh, it must’ve been one of his better days.”

(Extra: “How so?”

“Because nobody’s missing any limbs.”)

Twice is chasing your child out of his room. “NOT MY HEN-” he spots you in the doorway, “-a-adult… films.”

The lair is a disaster zone. Furniture is tipped and askew, tatters of clothing lay across the floor here and there, and there’s just so. Many. Ashes.

And of course, in the corner of the room stands Dabi, his arms folded across his chest as he hurls you a deathly glare. “Why would you do this?”

Wha….

“WHY WOULD YOU BREED THE SPAWN OF SATAN??”

🖇️✩ +̊🎧 MOMMY?!?? 🖇️✩ +̊🎧

masterlist

a student calls you mom

·+̊🖇️✩ +̊🎧⊹♡ Setting up for Hizashi’s English class was something you did often as his TA, but today, you felt particularly playful. The classroom was empty, the morning sunlight casting golden rays through the windows as you arranged papers on his desk. Hizashi stood near the whiteboard, adjusting the projector settings, his glasses slipping slightly down his nose.

“You know, Y/N,” Hizashi mused, tapping at the keyboard, “I think these kids would riot if they knew how excited I was for today’s lesson.”

You chuckled, glancing over the syllabus. “They always riot when it comes to English.”

You smirked, stepping closer until you were right behind him. Your fingers ghosted over the fabric of his vest as you leaned in, breath warm against his ear.

“Oh, they always riot when it comes to english,” you murmured, voice dripping with mischief. “But lucky for you, I’m here. and the faster this lesson goes means we can finally have some… fun.”

Hizashi stiffened for half a second before he turned to you, eyes slightly wide behind his glasses. His ears, hidden beneath his wild blond hair, were definitely burning red. “Oh? Is that so?” His voice cracked just a little, and you bit your lip to hold back a laugh.

Before he could recover, the bell rang, signaling the start of class. The door swung open as students began filtering in, chatting amongst themselves. You took a casual step back, arms crossed, watching as Hizashi cleared his throat, adjusting his collar as if it would help hide his flustered expression.

“ALRIGHT, CLASS! LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!” he boomed, though you could hear the slight edge in his voice.

A collective groan cut him off.

“Not English…” one student muttered, resting their forehead against the desk.

Another let out a dramatic sigh. “Why do we even need to learn this? Can’t we just use our quirks in other countries and let a translator handle it?”

You smirked, stepping forward. “Actually, no. A lot of hero agencies overseas require their heroes to have at least basic conversational skills in English. And trust me, you don’t want to be that one hero who has no idea what’s going on in a mission briefing.”

A few students exchanged glances, though the enthusiasm was still lacking.

Hizashi nodded. “Yeah! Plus, how are you gonna do interviews with foreign news outlets if ya don’t know what they’re askin’?”

“That’s what subtitles are for,” a student shot back, earning a few chuckles.

You sighed, shaking your head. “Look, I get it. English can be frustrating. But it’s not impossible. And since I actually spent time in America, I know the best ways to help you guys get comfortable with it.”

One student perked up. “You were in America?”

You nodded. “Yeah. A few months, actually. Lived there, worked there, and had to use English every single day. Trust me, I made all the mistakes you could possibly make, so I know exactly what you’re struggling with.”

“Wait… So you were, like, an American hero?”

“Not exactly,” you admitted. “More like I was there for a temporary collaboration. But I did patrols, worked with some American heroes, and had to communicate with civilians. So if you want to hear some embarrassing stories about me messing up English in public, now’s your chance.”

That seemed to spark some interest.

“Did you ever say something really bad by accident?”

“Oh, definitely.” You smirked, crossing your arms. “I once tried to compliment someone’s shirt and accidentally told them they looked like a banana.”

A few students laughed. Even Hizashi chuckled beside you.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” he said, gesturing dramatically. “Language isn’t just about books and testsit’s about communication! And sometimes, communication is messy, but that’s how ya learn!”

The class groaned again, but at least this time, it was with less resistance.

You smirked. “Alright, let’s start simple. Let’s go around and have everyone introduce themselves in English. Just a basic ‘Hi, my name is ____, and my quirk is ____.’”

The students groaned again, but one by one, they hesitantly began their introductions, stumbling over words and laughing at their own mistakes. You and Hizashi guided them through the pronunciations, offering encouragement where needed.

Midway through the lesson, as you walked between desks helping students with their pronunciation, a sleepy voice mumbled, “Mom, how do you say ‘speed boost’ in English?”

Silence.

You blinked, turning slowly toward the student who had spoken. The entire class went dead quiet as the realization hit them. The student, wide eyed with horror, turned an impossible shade of red.

“I I mean uh” They clamped their hands over their mouth, mortified.

The room erupted into laughter. Even Hizashi doubled over, his laughter echoing through the classroom. You couldn’t help but smirk, arms crossed as you arched an eyebrow.

“Well,” you said, grinning, “at least you said it in English.”

·+̊🖇️✩ +̊🎧⊹♡

The final bell rang, signaling the end of class. Students packed up their things, still chuckling over the earlier slip up. The poor student who had accidentally called you “mom” had bolted out of the room the second they could, face burning red. You were still amused by it, though.

“Alright, see ya next class!” Hizashi called after the last few students, waving as they shuffled out the door.

Once the room was empty, you sighed, stretching your arms over your head. “Whew. That went better than expected.”

“Oh yeah?” Hizashi drawled, turning toward you with a mischievous glint in his eye. “You sure about that, Mommy?”

You froze. Then you turned to him slowly, narrowing your eyes. “…What did you just say?”

He grinned, far too pleased with himself. “What? I’m just embracing my student’s interpretation of our dynamic! I mean, you are helpin’ me teach, you keep ‘em in check feels pretty parental to me!” He stroked his chin dramatically. “Maybe I should start callin’ ya that more often”

You smacked his arm firm, but playful.

“OW!” He laughed, rubbing the spot where you hit him. “What?! It’s a term of endearment!”

You shook your head, grinning. “Oh, you think you’re funny, huh?”

“I know I’m funny.”

You crossed your arms, smirking. “Well… I could be a mommy.”

Silence.

Hizashi just stood there.

His expression froze completely like his brain had just cut out. He wasn’t even blinking, just staring at you with his mouth slightly open.

You bit back a laugh at the way his mind was clearly racing at a million miles per hour.

And then, just to mess with him even more, you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before pulling away and sauntering toward the door. “See you later, Daddy.”

You barely made it out of the room before he exploded.

“WH WAIT! HEY! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”

You laughed as he stumbled after you, his voice rising in sheer panic and excitement.

“Babe, hold on WAIT A MINUTE” He caught up, following you into the hallway. “Are you just messin’ with me, or ? ‘Cause, like, if you’re serious”

You threw him a teasing look over your shoulder. “What? You want to make me a mom right now?”

His face went completely red, but his determination didn’t waver. “I MEAN IF YOU’RE DOWN I’M JUST SAYIN’”

You only laughed harder, enjoying how flustered he was. you had no doubt this is going to be a topic of discussion when you get home today.