L👀 K

Fuck dumbledore

Sirius would, in fact, be asking Remus how to change a nappy and not a diaper.

ATTENTION ALL PORNBOTS;

Welcome ladiessss ;)

Screw the people who wrote this and forgot it’s set in the UK/England.

Sirius would, in fact, be asking Remus how to change a nappy and not a diaper.

Come on beans

If I were to give any advice to a former twitter user (aka new tumblr user) it’d be:

Stay anonymous. Use a nickname or something ESPECIALLY if you’re a youngin’

Turn off public likes/following in settings.

Say nice things in the tags when u reblog art/writing/edits/gifs/etc. because every op (original poster) reads those and it makes their day

Block any corporate account you come across (this excludes small business, please support them if you like their work!)

Also block celebrities! You wanna follow what they’re doing? Go to their Instagram. This platform is one of the last places where we can be ourselves and not monetize our interests. We like it that way.

You can organize your blog! Use [#tags like this,] without the brackets to keep track of aesthetics you like or funny posts! It’s also nice if you wanna have a well kept blog for people to enjoy and look through your organized blog.

There are tumblr holidays and you’ll learn to love them <3 they’re silly and tbh it’s this community made culture that really makes this place special

There are a lot of millennials on here that are so sweet and amazing and they post about their interests and skills in their fields like history, cooking, art, science, etc. They’re a lot more friendly than the tiktok millennials that tried to start beef with teenagers. Be nice to them.

Follow @neil-gaiman he’s the coolest one here!!

Tumblr isn’t really what it used to be, like what it’s unflatteringly famous for… it’s pretty calm and fun here on most days. A lot of us are grown and know better than to start fights. (It’s not perfect obvi but it’s alright)

If you see an amazing resource that it’s best to not share, DON’T TALK ABOUT IT ON TIKTOK. That’s how we lost the library website. Appreciate these treasures. Don’t use them for an hour of internet clout on the worlds worst app.

Reblog stuff!! That’s how posts stay alive a decade after the op posted it. It’s still good and we love a chuckle and the nostalgia if you’re old enough to remember it

HAHA

Sirius: Minnie, my dog ate my homework

Minnie: Mr.Potter, I can see your homework right there!

Sirius: *quickly transforms into a dog, eats his homework, and transforms back*

Sirius: right where?

Tugging at my damned heart strings!!!!

(slightly nsfw)

“Mother found out about us. She says she’ll tell father if I don’t put an end to it.” Draco’s whisper-soft voice is a wrinkle in the dead night, but its effect on Hermione’s heart feels irreparable.

She sits up, his arms falling away. “Your mother is blackmailing you?”

He shrugs. “It’s more common than you’d think on my side of the pond.”

Her gaze drops from his settled eyes to the lines of muscle and scarring on his naked chest, committing every visible inch of him to memory. Their bodies are pressed against each other under the covers, soft and sated. There are angry scratches down his abdomen, where she likes to dig her fingers when he makes her see stars.

She swallows the pain, but can’t resist the tension building behind her eyes or the blurring of his silhouette. Is this his way of saying goodbye? One last blissfully oblivious shag before they part ways?

“Hey, look at me.” He curves his hand over her cheek, luring her eyes back to his. “Don’t cry.”

She looks down, ashamed that she’s emotional when this clearly means nothing to him.

“Hermione,” he says in a gentle and patient voice. “What am I to you?”

“You’re ev—” She stops herself, feeling her skin flush with heat. “Why are you asking me?” She’s struck by another wave of grief. “To wrench out my feelings before you toss me away?”

“Only trying to gauge them,” he amends, brushing his thumb across her lips. “I find myself at a crossroads and need your guidance.” His hand sails down her neck to her shoulder, where his thumb draws lazy patterns on her skin. “You see, there’s this girl, and while she and I started off as something rebellious and unattached, I fell for her. And now I don’t know what to do.”

Her stomach swoops, drawing forth a hundred manic butterflies. “My guidance, you say?”

“I’d be very grateful.”

“Well, I hear this girl’s rather clever and could find a way to make it work even without his family’s obnoxious hoard of wealth.” She weaves her fingers through his, staring at the signet ring on his finger. “So my advice to you is, stay with her… because she’s fallen too.”

He raises her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles. Candlelight splashes over his fair lashes, turning his amused gaze molten. “I was hoping she’d say that.”

She climbs onto his lap, using her free hand to maneuver herself over him and into her. They sigh deeply, their gazes locked, their hands still weaved together. “Stay with me, Draco,” she murmurs against his lips, turning the plea into a deep kiss.

He turns them over so her curls splay out across both pillows and he’s hovering above her. He takes his time examining her face, neck, collarbone, chest, and their connected bodies, before building a slow rhythm with their hips. His breathing grows heavy, the weight of his gaze heavier. She feels connected to him in all ways two people can be connected, and a shade tender after believing she’d lost him for good.

“I will,” he says between open-mouthed kisses. “There was never any doubt who I belonged to. I just needed to know you felt the same way.”

(545 words, prompt from twitter: blackmail)

This is too good. :)

Remus: hey, why aren’t koalas considered bears?

Sirius: because they don’t have the right koalafications

Remus: no you dumb piece of shit, it’s because they’re marsupials

Sirius, muttering: the one time I think he’s trying to tell a joke I get it wrong, fucking-

OOOO I NEED THIS

hear me out: a movie about a diverse team of heroes shooting their way into a white supremacist cult compound. They're unironically called Social Justice Warriors and they say one liners like "you're cancelled" before blowing a nazi's head off.

Oooooo

Instead of telling someone you don’t like to “go to hell” try telling them to “go buy a Tesla. “ One guarantees there will be flames, and the other is a fictional place

Oo yes do this shit

if you miss even one drop while standing to pee then the toilet seat you didn't put up should send an electric shock up your stream into you