I Stay Silly :)

i stay silly :)

(why am i learning about fucking gluons)

More Posts from Zephiris and Others

6 months ago

And now for something completely different.

Photograph of a colourful, somewhat roughly-made clay teapot decorated in splotches of red, yellow and blue. It has four different spouts of various lengths pointing in different directions.

This is the ADHD Teapot. I made it in a ceramics class a few years ago. I use it to explain executive dysfunction to people who haven’t come across the term before (and those who think of ADHD mostly as Hyperactive EightYear Old Boy Syndrome).

So, most people’s brains are like a regular shaped teapot with a single spout. Let’s say that your time, energy, focus etc is the liquid you have in the teapot. Your executive function is the spout, that directs the tea into the specific cup you want to fill-aka the task that you’re meant to be doing. Spills happen occasionally, but generally most of the tea goes in the right cup.

If you have executive dysfunction, you have multiple spouts going in different directions. You can try pointing one of them at your chosen cup and you will probably get some liquid in there, perhaps you will even fill it right up (finish the task). But meanwhile, tea is also pouring out of several other places and not going where you want it. If you have another container nearby, perhaps some of it will end up in there. But quite a lot of it is going to end up on the floor and accomplish nothing.

And at the end of the day you’ll have filled one or two cups ( or sometimes not even one) compared to the five or six that somebody with the same sized teapot (but only one spout) has filled, and everyone wonders why you’re so bad at getting tea poured, and why you make such a mess in the process.

One day I’d like to spend more time learning pottery and create a really technically good fucked up little adhd teapot. But that’s a long way off since i currently live in the outback and the nearest pottery workshop is some 400km away. But I figure that for now, it might be a useful or interesting metaphor to somebody even in its rough draft form.

This post is the cup I filled instead of cleaning my house btw.


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1 year ago

the wii disc and the gamecube disc on the wii menu are dating btw

The Wii Disc And The Gamecube Disc On The Wii Menu Are Dating Btw
1 year ago

Two lesbians made eye contact in a bar, and then they keep making eye contact, and then they keep making eye contact, and then the bartender said last call


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1 year ago

I have a question: has anyone else tried using their boobs’ nipples to scroll on a touchscreen or is this an insane person activity I have just attempted?

I tried to google it but it’s a pretty unsearchable query.


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1 year ago

Hey wait I’m one of those :D

life is beautiful because there's neurodivergent lesbains on the internet

11 months ago

I wrote a poem about my first love about a month into our relationship. Today they broke up with me. Here is that poem:

Light Rays

Light rays filtering in all the way from the sun.

Sometimes after a detour to the moon

Filtering in through leaves or bouncing off the snow or ricocheting off someone‘s iris into my pupil.

So much light entering my soul.

So much distance that ray has traveled

All so that my soul can become enthralled with another’s.

When I look someone in the eyes I feel their soul capturing mine; overwhelming me with awe

I bathe in the depths of another’s pupils. Become absorbed by the ever-expanding darkness. Let everything else fade. The darkness strengthened by the photon ring surrounding their pupils;

flecks of light which absorb and reflect rays, surrounding and contrasting the center.

I know I shouldn’t stare into the sun, for I might go blind from the magnitude of pure white light

But when I peer into the darkest depths of another all other senses fade away, consumed by my captivation.

I often look just shy of someone’s gaze;

Their nose, their eyelid.

Otherwise, I’d always be getting lost exploring the souls of others.

If I truly look you in the eye you’ll watch as I get absorbed by you.

If I look you in the eye it means I want to feel totally embraced by you.

If I look you in the eye, it might even mean I love you.

Otherwise, I hope hanging by the hawking radiation, just out of reach of being absorbed, will suffice.


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8 months ago
S Is For Slug

s is for slug


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1 year ago

i like your website! it looks very nice

especially the gradient colored text!! you used a separate font to make it more legible

whenever i try to do something like that, it always becomes really hard to read... maybe i should learn some basic web design?

my website looks like this and it took two days of fiddling with css

Thank you! The biggest thing with making text legible is making sure there is enough contrast between the text color and the background or make the text big enough that it’s legible even if there isn’t that much contrast. The best guide on color contrast that I know of is the Mozilla docs! If you scroll down to the solution part there it has many tools to check text contrast.

Since your website has a warm bright canvas background darker colors and gradients would work better and end up being more legible.

If you’re looking to learn more about web development and especially CSS I strongly recommend Kevin Powell on YouTube! His videos on flexbox and grid are very helpful in understanding those new browser features and making responsive websites (websites that look great on any screen size). For example, I used grid for the nickname table and for my projects so that on desktop those elements would be wider and shorter while on mobile they’d get narrower and taller.

I love your site too, especially the canvas theme with the green branch/orange leaves and the clever span box to show your favorite color complete with a title tag featuring the hex code!

To be clear my site took me at least 20 hours of fiddling and development to make. Feel free to look at the site code (and my commit history) on GitHub!

1 year ago

True and real! I agree that gender binary is generally bad and in fact I wish that I could opt out of hormones completely without rapidly deteriorating my health.

That said, unfortunately having some binary sex hormones are generally necessary for long-term wellbeing and health. That meant that I had to choose between my birth guy hormones or woman-y hormones if I wanted to avoid a ton of health complications. I chose to transition to become hormonally more woman-y since switching hormones felt much more nonbinary than keeping the same ones, at least for me personally. (I also felt like I should definitely have boobs, regardless of my assigned gender at birth). However, I’m not a woman which makes the term trans woman a dysphoric self-identifier for me.

Now you might wonder, why do you ever need to talk about your hormonal transition? Well sometimes I really crave salty foods a lot or I really want a lot of cuddles or I have periods and I ideally like to qualify those lived experiences by noting my hormonal layout. Now sure, I could just say “I am an amab who now has the hormonal layout of a woman but I’m not a woman and I’m actually nonbinary. Anyway…” but that’s incredibly clunky. Instead, I like to have an easy and clear non-clinical self-identifier that signifies my hormonal transition to allow me to easily contextualize my experiences with my hormonal makeup.

I have also found that generally other people who have gone from guy hormones to woman-y hormones are generally similar to me in specific ways, and like most humans, I like to “find my tribe” so to speak. Having the short and clear label of transfem, especially within label based internet communities made it easy for me to find people that I especially vibe with. Without a short and clear label I would likely struggle to find other nonbinary amabs who hormonally transitioned to the woman-y hormones.

Side tangent: I disagree with you that the terms transfem and transmasc have to always correlate to birth sex. For example I have one nonbinary transmasc friend who is amab and the label transmasc is generally a good descriptor of them. They note that the term fits them well because they kept their amab hormones in their transition while embracing their masculine side throughout their social transition to being nonbinary. They also often feel more similar to transmascs than transfems or cis guys which means the label transmasc for them functions similar to me in finding their tribe.

For me, and for other nonbinary people I know, the terms transfem and transmasc help us find communities where we share the same hormones and smoothly communicate which hormones we have without causing dysphoria or feeling needlessly clinical.

I agree that imposing binary labels onto those who do not want them is wrong and I’m sorry that you have felt the gender binary reimposed onto you by the trans community via these labels. At the same time however, I still feel that the terms transfem and transmasc definitely have their place in the community and do not always coorelate to birth sex. Both can be true at once.

Really hate that the queer community's response to the creation of a gender trinary (girl, boy, and nonbinary, which is still not all-encompassing) was to... reinvent the binary. We just started grouping all genders into "masc/male-aligned" and "fem/female-aligned" and it's so fucking stupid. Even with the occasional allowance of "neutral/unaligned" it still maintains the binary as the standard. And then they don't let you use certain labels if you don't have the "right" gender alignment. The fuck.


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zephiris - another transfem programmer
another transfem programmer

20, They/ThemYes I have the socks and yes I often program in rust while wearing them. My main website: https://zephiris.me

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