Shout Out To Everyone Who’s Ever Perpetuated The “gay Men Are Predatory” Stereotype!!

For My Father

For you, my Father, if you came back, I would leave something cooking on the stove. I’d let the smell fill the house so it’d be like you were here, making dinner while I watched cartoons. I would take the sweaty, stinky, athletic clothes you used to wear running and leave them in annoying places so Mom would lecture you the way she always did. It would be like you never left. We would still be a family. 

When you come home, I would buy the things you liked to eat. I’d put things on our table for you, like the odd-smelling ‘’healthy’’ foods, the gluten free bread that always tasted like sand, and the fig newtons that always made me think of you. I would hear the sound of you opening the door again. Coming home from work, you always greeted us with a smile, even though sometimes, even as a child, I could tell it wasn't real.

I’d leave your blue and green, size thirteen running shoes by the door for you. You could put them on and go for a run around the neighborhood like you used to. Then you’d come back home and spend the evening with us. We would sit and talk, just to be father and son again. I’d set aside everything you ever did if it meant I could get closure one last time. You’d tell me and mom that you always loved us, and all the bad things never mattered. I’d look at your crow’s feet, and see my own eyes staring back at me. I’d see myself in you, an older version of me, but still one in the same. Those same brown eyes.

When you died, I was young enough that I still called you Daddy. Now the memories are distant like you were and I call you ‘my Father’, but if you came back, I’d call you Dad, for old times sake. I’d let you hug me, and we could pretend we were a perfect, happy family. God knows we were far from it, but nobody ever died trying (except maybe you.) 

I’ll tell you who I am now, what my life is like. I hope you’ll say you were proud of me. If you don’t, that’s okay. I’ve managed this long without you. I think I can manage the rest of my life. I’m resilient. I get that from you. So, when the day is done, you’ll go back into the ground you came from, and I’ll be okay. After all, I’m still your son, no matter how much I wish I wasn’t some of these days. Just know that you can rest now. It will all be okay. Goodnight, Dad.

I miss my Coke Zero so much 😩.. why don’t I have any 😿‼️what the fucj !!!

delor.

the world is my stage and im blundering my way through a closed-curtain performance. a close call, set to halftime.

I told you my deathbed secrets. Cause nobody else’s ever made me feel so alive. I love you.

–s.s.

i’m in a winter mood, (i’m) dreamin’ of spring now

i miss sitting in the back of a pickup truck with my best friend. playing in the mud and making swords out of sticks. boys will be boys (until one of them’s a queer). We were like family until i came out was outed. if you read this i think you’d know who you are. cause you said i was your only friend and then spat in my face the next day. that awful day. all i wanted was for things to stay the same. all i want is my childhood back. please. my lips are bloody and my knuckles are bruised. i’m the same person i was back then, so why the hell don’t i mean the same thing i used to mean to you?

favorite color: black

last song: space bound - eminem 

currently reading: John Winchester’s journal

currently watching: The punisher

currently craving: that sonic burger I keep getting fuckin adds for 

coffee or tea: it depends 🤷‍♂️

tags:

@cool-lesbian-is-here, @stitchedribs, @soapiezzzz, @deadendgoal, @multimusiclover, @bloodynrves <33

Thanks @youreyesaremyfavoritecolor <3

get to know your moots tag game ! ✶ answer the questions, then tag six people

favorite color ꕀ green and brown last song ꕀ tú by maye currently reading ꕀ the luminaries by susan dennard currently watching ꕀ the great british baking show currently craving ꕀ massaman curry. like always. and like. alcohol and a couple cigs HAHA. a break too :P coffee or tea ꕀ always tea! i don't like coffee

ty for the tag @saltcxrcle ! tagging: @lelapine @toadspondofwhimsy @outof-spite @h0neyst4rz @hhoneylemon @our-lady-of-venom

stuff about me

last song-  cute without the e by taking back sunday 

favorite color- I like purple and black 

last book- loki agent of Asgard comics. not really a book but it’s the last thing I read

last movie- probably smth science fiction related? Or marvel I don’t remember 

last tv show- Good Omens <3 <3 <3 I’m absolutely obsessed with this show now

sweet/spicy/savory- why not all three?

relationship status- I’m in one. It’s not going well and that’s not rlly either of our faults but it still sucks right now

last thing i googled- will and grace cast

current obsession- ^ Good omens/aziracrow. I love them. I need season three like yesterday

looking forward to- getting over this cold so I can go back outside, see my friends, and just do stuff ig

thanks fr tagging me @youreyesaremyfavoritecolor this was fun :D

I am a boy written by pete wentz

Internalized homophobia 

One of my friends recently confessed That he felt like he was going to hell  For who he loved and who he undressed.

He told me he didn’t know what the Bible said That he didn’t want to offend Me, but all I could do was feel sad for him For I know what it’s like to hate who you are, To hate yourself To want so badly to just be someone else.

Sometimes I still feel the weight in the back of my mind Like a ball and chain, dragging me down Suffering and shame, white out over my free name Replaced by freak, sinner, faggot, ashamed Some days I still think I might drown.

Hallelujah, hallelujah Doesn’t mean anything to me Anymore, I can’t know if I believe  Because the religion tells me love is a sin And if I’m a sinner for love, heaven Is never anything I want to get in To, not today or tomorrow  For to lose my love would be  The greatest shame and/or sorrow.

This is who we are, for forever We can’t change how we feel Not even in the passing days All we have is the thought of holding it together I don’t know how to put this any better, But I believe that it’s never getting any better.

One of my friends recently confessed That he felt like he was going to hell  And all I wanted was to tell Him, that love should never be forbidden That he’s too young to live with his heart hidden Away from the world The way that I felt When I was fourteen years old.