Ok This Happened A Few Days Ago But

are you a mommy issues gay or a daddy issues gay

me, asking raymond to come to my island only so i sell him for 100 nook miles tickets: listen i don’t like capitalism but i gotta work within the system

sometimes I want my insides to be wet

not in a sexy way but in a soup way

why do some people say “Omg that’s so funny!!” instead of just laughing? who hurt you

them: so you’re bisexual?

me: yeah

them: so you’re attracted to byes?

me: w-what?? no-

them: *winks* bye~ *walks away*

me:

me:

me:

me: fuck that was hot

i know y’all think softball players are lesbians but if her hair is like this she is Straight

fuck you LIBTARDS, my gender is whatever gets me laid

unfortunately I have decided to get back on this damn app again

How did you write an essay as if it were a post on tumblr

hey yall!!! i’m writing a paper on using preferred pronouns for a class and i wanted to share the first paragraph i wrote because i like it!!

I believe in using preferred pronouns. The reason I hold this belief so strongly, no joke, ties in directly with my take on the meaning of life. To be honest, we’re all just floating about on this space orb we call Earth, there isn’t much rhyme or reason to anything we do. But you know what’s the coolest thing we can do on this funky ball? We can make people happy! We can spread joy, legitimately the most rad superpower and any of us can do it! “But!” I hear you say as you read this (I have very good hearing), “I haven’t a dime to my name for spreading such joy”. To this I say fear not! Because a specific, wonderful group of people use something called “preferred pronouns”. I absolutely LOVE learning a person’s preferred pronouns, because in my eyes, it’s as if being offered a magic key, engraved with the words “hey! If you ever want to make me feel happy, use this!”. Dear friend, you have just given me a superpower, and I cannot wait to use it!

every single guy thinks they are so good at driving because their dad once let them drive when they were 12