Me, Asking Raymond To Come To My Island Only So I Sell Him For 100 Nook Miles Tickets: Listen I Don’t

NOBODY gets to know my pronouns, not even ME

my dad, yelling at the radio with sports commentators that he put on: shut up!!! there are no more Sports

frogs are inherently political

I’m sorry guys lizzie is actually short for lesbian

lizzie is short for lizard

hhhnnnngg rat

nevermind that was NOT my doctor

yo i was so proud of myself bc i texted my s/o without hesitating but then i remembered i just hung up on my doctor because the way she said “hi” was too mean

adoption is just thrifting children

How did you write an essay as if it were a post on tumblr

hey yall!!! i’m writing a paper on using preferred pronouns for a class and i wanted to share the first paragraph i wrote because i like it!!

I believe in using preferred pronouns. The reason I hold this belief so strongly, no joke, ties in directly with my take on the meaning of life. To be honest, we’re all just floating about on this space orb we call Earth, there isn’t much rhyme or reason to anything we do. But you know what’s the coolest thing we can do on this funky ball? We can make people happy! We can spread joy, legitimately the most rad superpower and any of us can do it! “But!” I hear you say as you read this (I have very good hearing), “I haven’t a dime to my name for spreading such joy”. To this I say fear not! Because a specific, wonderful group of people use something called “preferred pronouns”. I absolutely LOVE learning a person’s preferred pronouns, because in my eyes, it’s as if being offered a magic key, engraved with the words “hey! If you ever want to make me feel happy, use this!”. Dear friend, you have just given me a superpower, and I cannot wait to use it!

im going to kiss you (on purpose)

I have lost Girl

me: is sad, depressed, anxious, and stressed

me: what?? how is this possible?? i have Girl???