My Sister @ My Cat:

Private investigator playing for both sides, I disappear people and find missing people. And sometimes for kicks, I’ll just disappear myself.

Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?

If I had a dollar for everytime Diego said ‘grassy knoll’ or ‘JFK’ this season I could probably raise my own batch of 7 maladjusted super humans with an ape and a robot.

That said, fuck that monocled piece of shit Reggie Hargreeves.

Edit: Just finished watching season 2 and well, I manifested the second batch there didn’t I? Still fuck Reggie.

Wei WuXian: *breathes*

Everyone else (mostly Jiang Cheng): Lord Almighty above, please give me the strength not to roll my eyes and strike this man down.

Good morning to everyone but Wen Chao. He can get his from the Xuanwu tortoise.

I came here for the jokes, I got indoctrinated into a cursed cult instead.

Remember that time in 2012 when we all thought the world was going to end and did some unredeemable embarrassing shit to celebrate the end of times?

Yeah. Same.

Watching big cats meow and purr feels weird because it would be similar to watching mob bosses do the baby voice.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I’ll head into the kitchen in the dark, get me a glass of water, sigh and whisper ‘hydrated’ into the empty void.

Italians were hella right in combining pasta, olive oil and garlic. I’m convinced that they’ve got eternal truths hidden in their cuisines at this rate.

Just add pecorino to something and your day is made. Or black pepper. Or some fresh tomatoes. And that’s it. Keep it simple and fresh and heavenly.

I’ve been throwing money at the wrong things my whole life.

Did a little soul searching...I am in fact, a narcissistic little shit with no concern for consequences but if someone mentions a cat I will build a shelter with my bare hands and protect it from the elements.