I Hate Being Full, But I Also Hate Feeling Hungry. I Can Try And Lie To Myself All I Want, But Deep Down

I am constantly haunted by the fear of making myself infertile. Dont know what I would choose between my children and my dream body xx

guys my dms are open to all. if anyone needs to talk you can always text me. things can get bad with 4n4 and m14 but we are all in this together.

No one tells you about the negative sides of ⭐️ving. No one warns you about the impact it has on your relationships. No one tells you that you’ll start to gauge your size based on everyone else in the room. There’s no verbal explanation for why your relationships start falling apart, it just happens. You’re bitchier, you complain more, you’re exhausted so often you rarely want to go out because you’re too tired to move. Too tired to have to deal with the spots in your vision as you try to stand, and the wooziness as you walk up a flight of stairs.

You just bleed a bit on the inside. Fall a little further down the hole. Starve a little more often. Perhaps if you lost a little weight, they’d like you more. I hate the comments I get. From family, from old friends. “You look so thin,” “I could’ve sworn you had anorexia when I first saw you, but you ate just fine.” Yeah, then I didn’t. For another few days, just so I stay consistent with my weight loss. For my strong will to be slimmer than the others, like I once was. It outmatches my weak desire to connect with people by far too much. Yet I’m okay with that. Whatever it takes. Whatever I lose, to be at that goal weight.

Maybe he’ll notice me if I get sickly from my Ed.

Going to bed to avoid b1ng1ng :)

My f@tass brain the second I close my eyes

I actually really respect the ed folks who started at a high weight. Like wym you lost 50-100lbs?! That's insane. You must push yourself really hard.

I'm sorry for the way people treat you. If doctor's don't take you seriously. Family and friends don't realize you're suffering. I see you. I respect you.

☆ •° Collar bones check !!

- Block me if you're triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )

What to do instead of eating 🦋✨

Cleaning session ✨

Clean your bathroom. Really scrub your toilet.

If you have a yard, clean it

Organize your wardrobe

Do the dishes

Take out the trash

Sweep

Take the dust off your desks, bookshelfs or whatever you have in your home

Organize the food shelf

Clean your fridge

Organize your kitchen utensils

Do laundry. Probably you been wearing the same shirt for some days.

Selfcare session ✨

Deep condish your hair. You have split ends.

Do your nails.

Fix your eyebrows.

Take a long hot shower and exfoliate.

Skincare.

SLEEP.

Fun things to do ✨

Play videogames.

Read a good book.

Study.

Message a friend, or even call.

Watch a movie. Or binge watch your favorite Netflix show.

Did I already say sleep?

Create a visionboard on Pinterest.

Set goals, not talking about weight. Set career goals, for example.

Take a fun class, learn pottery or knitting.

hungry? good that means it’s working

Help. I'm suffering so much. I'm worried about my legs I think it'll broke up everytimes I walk. I have so much cramps too, like, why ?? I fainted two times yesterday.. 😭

My health is so fxck up and it be worser and worser. Maybe see a doctor soon btw. 💔

- Block if triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )

My legs, my arms and every bones I have on my body :