I Love Having This Little Secret No One Knows About

I don't like ⭐ving myself but yes, I have this secret that I try to hide. ( I secretly hope that someone can see it one day.. )

i love starving myself

nobody knows what i’m doing, i walk around with a secret, and i love it

The validation and panic when someone notices your weight loss/eating habits

quick reminder: take your vitamins ✨

No one tells you about the negative sides of ⭐️ving. No one warns you about the impact it has on your relationships. No one tells you that you’ll start to gauge your size based on everyone else in the room. There’s no verbal explanation for why your relationships start falling apart, it just happens. You’re bitchier, you complain more, you’re exhausted so often you rarely want to go out because you’re too tired to move. Too tired to have to deal with the spots in your vision as you try to stand, and the wooziness as you walk up a flight of stairs.

You just bleed a bit on the inside. Fall a little further down the hole. Starve a little more often. Perhaps if you lost a little weight, they’d like you more. I hate the comments I get. From family, from old friends. “You look so thin,” “I could’ve sworn you had anorexia when I first saw you, but you ate just fine.” Yeah, then I didn’t. For another few days, just so I stay consistent with my weight loss. For my strong will to be slimmer than the others, like I once was. It outmatches my weak desire to connect with people by far too much. Yet I’m okay with that. Whatever it takes. Whatever I lose, to be at that goal weight.

What to do instead of eating 🦋✨

Cleaning session ✨

Clean your bathroom. Really scrub your toilet.

If you have a yard, clean it

Organize your wardrobe

Do the dishes

Take out the trash

Sweep

Take the dust off your desks, bookshelfs or whatever you have in your home

Organize the food shelf

Clean your fridge

Organize your kitchen utensils

Do laundry. Probably you been wearing the same shirt for some days.

Selfcare session ✨

Deep condish your hair. You have split ends.

Do your nails.

Fix your eyebrows.

Take a long hot shower and exfoliate.

Skincare.

SLEEP.

Fun things to do ✨

Play videogames.

Read a good book.

Study.

Message a friend, or even call.

Watch a movie. Or binge watch your favorite Netflix show.

Did I already say sleep?

Create a visionboard on Pinterest.

Set goals, not talking about weight. Set career goals, for example.

Take a fun class, learn pottery or knitting.

Thigh gap check !

I'm in recovery and I want to share with you my evolution in the recovery process !

I have to take back 12 kg. It'll be difficult but I know I can do it !

XoXo everyone ! <3

be the skinniest girl in the room ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

I don't care about summer. I want my body goal everyday, every season and forever.

- Block if you're triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )

1.5 L of water, done ! ✅

I'm gonna drink more.

- Block if triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )

Maybe he’ll notice me if I get sickly from my Ed.