Day 1 Of My Self Quarantine

Please sir, can I have some dopamine. I can't go on without it.

"God I just want to go home and eat some sexy oreos"

-One sexy trilobite

British people who like meat be like "take me to the..."

Daddy satan, can you braid my body hair?

"New year new me"

*lays in the dirt so that what nutrition my body weakly clings to is recycled by the fungus and maggots of the wood*

It isnt even three whole months into the year and society as we know it has been threatened already. In the name of all that is holy can I please have some good news.

You could say I am a bit of a state

To those of you who wad up toilet paper,

you got some serious and unchecked problems.

Yes, drink the Bubby

Christmas time is here, so do y'all peel you're candy canes before you eat then?