Can We Please Adopt Pirate Aesthetics Into Mainstream Fashion

Please sir, can I have some dopamine. I can't go on without it.

I want to be free of this thing we call "responsibilities". Let me run barefoot, butt ass naked in the woods with a vodka stash so I may be free as the local cryptid I am meant to be.

Me :* trying to sleep*

My ass of a brain : "what if everyone you care about leaves you tomorrow?"

Me :" I must send them a message now to make sure they know I love them all still"

The entirety of my contacts :" bruh its 4:30am go the fuck to sleep you absolute twank"

"New year new me"

*lays in the dirt so that what nutrition my body weakly clings to is recycled by the fungus and maggots of the wood*

"God I just want to go home and eat some sexy oreos"

-One sexy trilobite

Hell

I walk down the stairwell, the only sounds being my own breathing and footsteps.

There are few lights for me to see but somehow I know where to step although I have never walked here before. The lights that are here exist as floating orbs in small slits of the smooth walls.

I feel a breeze just out of reach, enough for me to believe the end is around the next turn. My curiosity endless like the stairs I hurriedly walk down. Then with a single step I am there. And He is there, all I hear from silent lips is " there's cheese in the fridge."

God I love me that bagged fridge cheese.

"Sorry for spitting Kombucha on you"

- A friend

You could say I am a bit of a state

British people who like meat be like "take me to the..."

Daddy satan, can you braid my body hair?