Words I Wish Were Written For Me

i just want to be one of those cute, aesthetically pleasing readers who’ve got their cardigans on and sip on their tea while reading by the fireplace but i always end up looking like a hot mess with my big stained hoodie, tied-up hair and dried up tears, trying to find good lighting at 3am so i can make out what i’m reading

Spilled coffee on old letters written to old friends. Half burned pages left on the table. Listening to soft nostalgic music with a wicked smile. Sitting near the rear window while it rain at 3 am. Not shivering to the thunderstorms sound. Candle burning near the table when you type yet another aching poetry lines. Perfect distortion. Perfect melancholy.

i’ll attempt to go to the city on my own and order a couple books on cosmology tomorrow. i’m really into that stuff. the theories of general relativity and quantum mechanics and the search of a combination of those are so interesting! also I just read how Dr. Norma Sanchez has published a theory on that in january. i really have to do some further reading on her theory!

the fact that time passes and things change and people leave and you can only go back to a place physically and you will never be 14 15 16 again………….. i don’t understand how we are meant to endure that

I want to write. I have ideas. I open document. I type four of the worst sentences ever created in the english language. I daydream the rest of the scene. I close document.

One day I promise you, you're not going to miss him forever. As much as his memories keep on resurfacing every now and then, there will be a day when everything will stop and your emotions will just change towards him. I mean, you won't start hating him instead of loving him the way you do now. You will just stop feeling for him. I know that you still wait for him to text you even when you are asleep. Part of you is awake waiting for him to call you. I know you miss him so much that your bones hurt. I know you miss him so much that it just feels a little more empty every day. I promise you are not going to be this sad forever. I know your heart aches all the time. I know you loved him, you still do and maybe you will always love him. But you can keep on loving someone until that love feels like it's pulling you down. When you feel that, let that feeling leave you. It's okay to stop having feelings for him, it's okay to just be neutral towards him. You don't have to starve yourself of things that he wasn't able to give you. One day you're going to move on and it's going to be the most beautiful thing that could happen to you after he broke your heart. Until then, remember to be soft on yourself. Remember to be a wreck and don't be afraid of spilling your emotions. Be a mess, be with big feelings and you can cry in public, too. We are all a mess but how we manage to handle ourselves is what makes us better than others.

-Talesofmaya via Instagram

gostaria de poder dizer que sei de tudo. que sei que meus esforços vão valer a pena que tudo vai se encaixar, que o final feliz vem. mas a verdade é que mesmo que eu tivesse a capacidade de olhar meu futuro, eu ainda duvidaria se o visse dando certo.

“Ainda assim, a imagem assombrou seus sonhos a noite toda: a linda garota que olhava as estrelas e as estrelas que a olhavam de volta.”

— Trono de Vidro

the craziest thing about books is you can pick one up and remember exactly where you read and what you felt like when you read it. maybe it was a summer afternoon and you were sad, maybe it was a school night and you were up much too late and already feeling the next morning’s regret, maybe you read the book right after a fight with your mom and you were angry. and a book brings all those emotions and memories back, even if you don’t remember the story the book actually holds. don’t tell me literature isn’t magic 🪄

It really drives me insane that I don’t know how people feel about me. Like am I nice??? Am I funny???? Am I mean???? Am I rude??? Am I obnoxious??? Am I dumb???? What am I????????????????????