Two Years Ago Today, Taylor Gave Us Folklore And My Life Forever Changed.

i love tumblr bc nothing matters here but pictures and inner thoughts

“I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore. It's hard to put into words, but I guess it's like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling.”

-Haruki Murakami

i just need this love spiral...

It’s weird .physically I’m in my teens but mentally- spiritually if you will, I feel so old. So so old. As though I’ve lived a thousand lives and experienced a thousand scenarios each leaving me exhausted by the end . I feel the weight of all those lives sometimes; When I’m alone in my room . Gaze switching between each wall and then finally , meeting my ceiling-Where my mind explodes with thoughts while simultaneously remaining eerily barren.quite.empty.

bring back the habits that made you happy as a child. there’s no reason you should ever have to give up harmless things that bring you joy. you don’t have to age out of having fun. finger paint. write mediocre fanfiction and questionable poetry. put chocolate chips in your waffles. sing in the bath, and while working in the yard, and while washing your hands. hammer tunelessly on a piano. spin in circles until you fall down. climb a tree. just because you’re now in charge of your life doesn’t mean you’re expected to give up on the things that make life feel worth living

Taylor Swift (2006)

eu temh

Nostalgia is purely manufactured because we force teenagers to experience things before they're ready and we tell adults life ends at 25 so they can try to desperately reclaim their teenage years. It's okay to transition out of each phase when you're ready. The milestones for adulthood are not universal or even required

The side that you don’t know about being an only child....

Sooo your siblings are annoying. They’re brats. Your sister stole your curling iron and won’t give it back, she also has that pair of jeans that you literally love to china and back. You want some alone time, some peace? Being alone is not all that it is hyped up to be. Here’s some reasons why: 

1: imagine coming home from school, your parents are both at work, and having n o o n e. Nada. Absolute no one to vent to about the crap day you’ve had. I mean sure, for you sibling people out there, an afternoon alone might seem like heaven, but try every day for your whole childhood….not so fun. 

2: No one understands you. Don’t get me wrong, you parents might get you. But they don’t understand you! They’re not sixteen years old. They don’t understand how your brain works they can’t relate to you. So they’re going to say that you’re being ridiculous when you’re making perfect logical sense and any sibling would agree with you on that. Key thing here: no one in your house relates to you or understands you. 

3: Play. You can’t play tag with one person. Or uno. Or twister. Or guess who. Or even freaking battle ships! The swings are only fun if you got your homie sister on the other one and you two are debating whether that cloud is a horse or a cactus. i literally had to like….use my imagination.

4: Sleepovers. You know what i’ve always envied? You know that scene in Parent trap? When the two girls are chillin playing cards on the bed with the dog and they’re just talking about life like its just casual—I WANT THAT! I want impromptu sleepovers, I want to fangirl over harry potter. I want to be eating chocolate at midnight with my sister/brother whilst watching Narnia. I WANT A SLEEPOVER EVERY SINGLE NIGHT/DAY AND WE WOULD HAVE SO MUCH FUN AND I WOULDN’T HAVE TO FALL ASLEEP KNOWING THAT I’LL BE ALL ALONE TOMORROW MY SAD LIFE IS SO TRUE AHHHHH

5: Family pictures at school. Okay so. a bunch of kids always complain when they have to take school pictures with their siblings, but hey I would freaking cherish this ish to the max. I’d be like ‘leave class ten minutes earlier than you’re supposed to meet me outside the gym and I’ll let you know about all the stuff thats happening. lets talk’. And you have a nice or not so nice photograph as a token of the time you told your sister that you liked Johnny from Science class and you both freaked out like teenagers because thats what you are. 

6: Having someone to fight for. Ima not gonna lie. I want a kind of relationship that siblings have–the one where even when you’ve just had an argument you know if they ever got into trouble you’d be the first one to jump in and help them. Also, I’ve always wanted to like  put someone in their place like: “Hey, that’s my brother and if you’re gonna talk about him like that you better run like hell because your ass will be hanging by its underwear from the roof in five seconds. Thank you.” 

7: . Building forts. Okay so I built forts when I was younger. Everyone did, come on. But the most exciting part about forts is actually making them. And I was all by myself. I didn’t have an assistant. I didn’t have a co pilot. I didn’t have someone to ask: “should this go here or there?” “Do you think we should have a chair here or no chair.” I needed advice and I had no one to give it to me. Plus like when your spreading out blankets you have to like ruffle it out by your self on one end and then walk all the way to the other end to fix that end only to discover that you’ve messed up the other end and then it goes on and on—honestly just like having two people spread out a blanket is so much easier and more effective. 

8: No cousins. Coming from a huge family, my mother has a lot of brothers and sisters which means that I have a lot of cousins. 26 to be exact. Being an only child, I have come to the realisation that my children will not get to have that. Or even a fraction of it. The family get togethers that are always hectic but make everyone the happiest they ever been. The exchange gifts. christmas. They won’t have any cousins on my side. So i just hope my future husband has siblings otherwise its going to be a lot of sad christmases. 

9: Having a sibling is like having a built in best friend. They’re always there, around the corner. theres no need to call and ask if they can come over, theres no need to plan it or arrange time…just simply go down the hall and knock on their door 

10: everyone thinks we’re spoilt self conceded brats when actually we’re not. like the ‘oh but you get all the attention and all the presents.’ like literally, kid, i got one present one year and it was a book. loved it, but it was just one. nothing was given to me freely just for the sake of it. i literally had to work my tiny butt off for everything. and then i become a teenager and my parents were like: ‘you want that? go buy it yourself.’ so we’re no less spoilt than you guys are. this stereotype is stupid and not to mention wrong. 

All in all. The Only child life can be summed up in one word: lonely. 

Very, very lonely. 

much love ❤️

Evermore is for people who don't know if some incident is supposed to lead to their red era or their rep era. Their existence is made out of indecision and a couple of times when they bothered to take a decision, the outcome, well, it did not come out as planned. Scratch that, the outcome was terrible and now they're scarred for life. They can go from loving someone toxic and then missing them after they've buried them consecutively. They've been through a lot, please leave them alone.