" The Love Of Your Life Isn't, Always, The One You Marry "

Homenagem Fúnebre

É muita soberba nossa acreditar nessa realidade como a única e possível, e se ainda dúvida, pois bem, perceba: nossa alma, presa a essa carne de potência e ações limitadas, todas as noites viaja entre visões extraordinárias, que esse mundo, o qual chamamos de verdadeiro, nunca poderia nos presentear como experiência, é como uma promessa do que ainda não é e nem está, mas virá. Pelo dia passeamos entre pensamentos, ideias e o sonho dos acordados, aquele que nos tortura com idealizações e expectativas lindas, extravagantes, simples e mesquinhas desse mundo doloroso; e dói, apenas para provar como humanos e medíocres existimos aqui.

Nada nunca vai fazer-me desacreditar que a morte é tão somente outro nome para tratar a vida, por bem ou mal, um outro tipo de existência, mas com certeza, vida! Seremos livres depois dessa passagem? Assim eu espero: sendo uma singular e insignificante, causa e resultado de uma bela lúgubre implosão no universo, que o fim da minha existência seja um singelo feixe de luz dissipando na escuridão; e se tiver vazio, que eu preencha o nada então. Rogo em desespero, para nunca ser o miserável destinado a uma só e dura realidade, aquele imortalizado.

I'll change every version of myself to fit in. I've been having a hard time adjusting. Had the shiniest wheels now they're rusting. My cheeks are growing tired from growing red and faking smiles. Are we only biding time until I lose your affection? Ive got a hundren thrown out speeches i almost said to you. I have a lot of regrets about that. I'm a mirrorball. They see right through me. I cut off my nose just to spite my face. I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush. Will you still want me when I'm nothing new? You are so much older and wiser. Lord what will become of me when I've lost my novelty? You tolerate me. I sit and watch you.

two years ago today, taylor gave us folklore and my life forever changed.

i can't put into words how much this album means to me. some might say it's stupid but it genuinely saved me back then, came right on time when i needed it and it felt like a bandaid covering my wounds as much as it felt like putting salt into them.

"time, mystical time, cutting me open then healing me fine."

Happy birthday folklore, the album of a lifetime <3

“Quando me perguntarem do que eu mais gostei, vou dizer que foi de você.”

— Cidade dos Anjos.

from the dress i wore at midnight leave it all behind

as the years go on, i'm learning to accept my nature. i stopped pretending i like the sun, i stopped forcing my voice to sing hight, i don't walk with who i wanna be, faking my spring. i am no spring. i run in the dark, i am scars, blood and raw meat. i am no soft, my eyes will never sparkle, my hands are sharp, my body is solid, i got my father's wide rib cage, his strong lungs. i am a dark personality, i will always be, and that is good. and i will celebrate it and be who i am until the end, until the day i die and after.

Your comfort movie is “dead poets society”, you’re in love with the smell of old books, poetry and classical music. You’re an introvert and like to journal and read in old libraries. 

Click here to go to the playlist (inspired by dead poets society)

It hurts when you know what it feels like to love, but don't know what it feels like to be loved.

“from the moment i met you, your personality had the most extraordinary influence over me. i was dominated, soul, brain and power by you. you became to me the visible incarnation of that unseen ideal whose memory haunts us artists like an exquisite dream. i worshipped you. i grew jealous of everyone to whom you spoke. i wanted to have you all to myself. i was only happy when i was with you.”

mr oscar wilde, you’re telling me that they’re just friends?

the fact that i'm not in some alternate universe where i go to this school wearing pretty clothes, i'm creeping down it's hallways on a rainy day and me and my friends are dancing in circles as fellow students sing pretentious poetry and this pretty stranger is falling in love with me because i'm constantly saying strange and unpleasant things (which are a part of my charm) is so fucked up.