I Cried Today As Well. Two Days In A Row And I Cried. Is My Life So Depressing. Agar Iss Bitch Ko Hurt

And yet we don't take them.....we still live the same day everyday....procrastinating eating and repeating

it’s awesome how we have unlimited chances to become a better version of ourselves

yk I was in 9th. and it was my PTM. i got 51/80 marks in maths during my half yearly's and obviously i was scolded so much much for it. my parents scolded me on the day i told them the result and till the PTM also they were taunting me about it and i used to just keep quiet because i felt it was justified as i used to go to maths tution as well. but on that ptm day my teacher just told my dad that i did great because before it i got 14/30 in the unit test and she just said that i did good, i improved because in the first unit test i was not able to score half marks but this i scored more than half and that is great. My dad did not resonate with thought but ma'am when you said that it literally made me cry i held my tears back but thank you so much for acknowledging it. thank you so much this literally made me cry. that's my life now crying while remembering every short little good thing a stranger has done for me. it's sad because i can't remember anything of my parents. but i know my dad would protect me and take my side against others but i can't say the same about my mom. because all throughout my childhood she has always taken my cousins side and never mine and i've always felt jealous because my cousins used to have their mothers supporting them and MY mom too. and then they used to make fun of me and i was all alone

why was my childhood so freakin sad? i used to think i was a happy kid and i used to never cry. i can say with confidence that i have never cried from the age of 9-13 but why are those incidents coming to me now? why am i crying because of them NOW? it's been so long why the fuck are they bothering me now of all times when i am at my lowest. god just help me out. at this point i don't about my sadness i just want to fulfill my goals. as long as i go to IIT Bombay(CS) away from my house. I'll be fine.

Dear self,

Snap the FUCK out of it.STOP. literally searching for a reason to be upset. Remind yourself of your blessings , you have everything you need. Change your perspective

Love,

Me

Ps. I love you

lately I've been putting off so much work and I am getting so irritated. rn also I am writing this when i should be preparing for my tution test. hoepfully i get good marks.

I need to study because I want to get in the best college/ university so that I can get good placement and starting package can be good also to have sophisticated and quality education compared to the rest of the people. I really want to be the girl who would make it above average. I want to be that girl who is disgustingly overeducated so that the second anyone has a question I am the first person they turn to and I am able to answer that question surely without a doubt on myself or my answer. I want to be appreciated and known for my knowledge because that is also the one thing that no one could ever take from me. tbh i just want to be that person which other parents use an example infront of their kids.(I swear this is the Indian in me)

this is me

I cried today.

🫶🏻🫶🏻

Do not be afraid to speak up and take up space, babe. 💞

I know it's very wrong that I failed physics and had yo give a retest and I know last year I didn't study at all. I know it's my mistake but really mom? Do you think screaming at me about it 24/7 would help? I love how you easily give up and think I can't do it. And when you say that again and again, in doing nothing but cursing you in mind and it's not something I want to do. You're my mom but I have kind of lost respect for you, the only reason I act a little respectfully is because I feel obliged to return something in return because it was you who shaped me into the person I am today and honestly I'm proud of myself for my EQ. Yes I know it's wrong for me to be distracted the whole year to the point where I failed a subject but honestly what I am telling myself is that I gained an experience, a bad one, something I don't want to repeat ever again but it's just an experience, it was just one phase on my life. I'm not gonna let that define my whole life, I am sure I am not a failure because I haven't given up and I have moved on to start with the new session already, sure my last session was a mess but I'll do better. I'll make it better. I'm not just gonna stop and give up because I didn't achieve the model grades. That's so stupid and dumb.

You put this into words