Ra’s: Who turned the Lazarus Pit purple?
Nyssa: Are those bath bombs?
Talia: *calmly sipping her tea*
Ra’s, to Talia: It’s one of your spawn again, I just know it.
Talia: I’ll have you know my children are both perfect angels.
Nyssa: *poorly concealed snort*
Meanwhile, back in Gotham:
Jason: I have to admit, I’m impressed.
Bruce: Jason, stop encouraging this.
Jason: What? I’m not encouraging it, I’m just saying it’s impressive.
Steph: Thanks. I just felt like I wasn’t contributing much to the annoy Ra’s effort.
Bruce: No, no effort. There is no effort.
Tim, walking into the Cave: Hey, anyone know why Ra’s texted me asking for an alibi?
Jason: It was Steph?
Tim: Seriously? That’s amazing! What’d you do?
Bruce: STOP ENCOURAGING THIS.
Tim: What? it’s just Ra’s. We annoy him all the time.
Bruce: *one more thread of mental sanity snapping in the background*
Bruce: I don’t want to know, but I feel compelled to, so by show of hands, who here routinely pokes a bear with a stick?
Jason: I’m telling Ra’s you called him that. *whips out his phone and begins texting*
Bruce: I did not… Not the point. Can you all just PLEASE stop antagonizing a supervillain?
Damian: Grayson said a little harmless teasing was a sort of bonding activity between family members.
Jason: Yeah, just letting gramps know we’re thinking about him.
Damian: And how we will one day dismantle his entire legacy.
Tim, cackling: I’m telling him you called him gramps. *begins texting*
Steph: Wow, and all I did was get some bath bombs in the Lazarus Pit.
Damian: My respect for you has increased, Brown.
Steph: Thanks, kid. Your mom helped.
Bruce: *pained sounds*
Later:
Talia: So what are your thoughts on Jason?
Steph: Yeah, he’s pretty cool.
Talia: Would you be willing to consider entering into a…
Jason: MOM! STOP TRYING TO SET ME UP!
Steph: Uh…
Talia, shrugging: It was worth a try.
This is the magic lucky word count. Reblog for creativity juice. It might even work, who knows.
I need Damian roasting the fam like that John Mulaney quote about middle schoolers insulting you in an accurate way
Damian: The American Hackney is a critically endangered horse breed with only about 200 remaining in the world. I consider myself privileged to be in the company of one right now.
Stephanie, to herself: I can't hit a kid, I can't hit a kid, I can't—
———————
Damian: Your glasses look like the headlights of Superman's pickup truck.
Barbara: Get back to patrol.
———————
Damian: You astound me.
Tim: How so?
Damian: You have far exceeded your life expectancy given your absolutely atrocious self-care habits.
———————
Damian: Father, you cook like someone who's never seen food in his life.
———————
Damian: Grayson, I need your help with a history project.
Dick: Sure, what's it on?
Damian: The Paleolithic Era. Tell me everything you remember about your childhood.
———————
Duke: You say a lotta out-of-pocket things.
Damian: What, like the fact that the Signal-cycle sounds like a washing machine setting?
———————
Damian: Todd, I didn't know you were a Hollywood background character.
Jason: Really? Where?
Damian: *plays The Walking Dead*
———————
Damian: Cain—
Cassandra: Nope.
Damian: But—
Cassandra: I said no.
Damian: Fine.
Cassandra:
Damian:
Cassandra:
Damian: Your ballet shoes look like beans.
———————
Damian: Kyle, may I see your engagement ring?
Selina: Sure.
Selina: *shows him a big diamond*
Damian: *squints*
———————
Damian: *opens his mouth*
Alfred: Don't even try.
Damian: Understood, have a nice day.
———————
Damian, to his reflection: I never realized my hair looks like a shower brush.
HI YES IM FINALLY DONE HOLY SHIT
OKAY SO this was based off on my own gameplay of COTL, I noticed that everytime Id put food orders in, Narinder would usually be the one to prepare them And honestly? We love a malewife in this house so I dig that for him, ma guy is a skilled cook <3
As I wrote down the dialogue, it just got deeper than I expected SO HERE YALL GO WITH A FULL ASS COMIC ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP, ENJOY!!!!
This shit took me weeks Ill go recharge my soul now brb-
Trod Bad End doodles from last night + older ones I'm posting so I can delete the files
it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me
many centuries down the line they can manage to have a civil enough family game night.