“Adam Lived In An Apartment Located Above The Office Of St. Agnes Catholic Church, A Fortuitous Combination

i love it when a piece of media is like: is there anything more painful than knowing your sibling? is there anything more tragic than knowing they are the only person who will ever share the same experience as you? they were the only constant in your life. they were there since birth and now, no matter how they betray you, you will still love them. you will always feel the need to protect them even if you can no longer bring yourself to talk to them. will anyone else be able to understand? will anybody be able to love you and hate you and fear you the same way a sibling loves you and hates you and fears you? no, probably not

if you think about it kavinsky almost definitely thought ronan killed his dad too. that’s gotta be part of the reason he was so obsessive.

k’s got this trauma and secret weighing on him so heavily and isolating him from everyone until he finds out that kid who’s dad was mysteriously murdered is a dreamer too. especially considering ronan was the one who found the body and he immediately shifts to become aggressive, impulsive, and starts avoiding everyone. k mistakes the clear signs of ptsd for signals that they’re the same.

in kavinsky’s mind he’s finally found someone who will understand everything he went through and all of his fucked up coping and communication. he creates this ideal image of ronan as his last chance at a genuine connection with anyone, with no secrets in between them. the ronan in his mind is patient with k’s addictions, trauma, and tendency to push people away because he understands all the reasons behind it.

they’re both dreamers, gay in a small town, labeled as aggressive and outcasted, and in k’s mind, both victims as abuse who managed to outsmart their abusers. ronan’s everything he’d been craving.

when ronan rejects him and essentially calls k delusional for thinking they could ever be the same, k loses not just a boy but the very chance to ever be understood and accepted by anyone. if someone who he thinks went through the same shit as him still thinks he’s too fucked up to care about, then he’s got no chance. he’d rather die and drag everyone down with him than spend the rest of his life isolated and hated by everyone around.

ronan and adam really are the perfect couple because they are both so paranoid. ronan is like hey babe i had a manic episode so now i think the entire world has it out for me and i’m going to do ecoterrorism about it. and adam is like babe that’s great the carefully constructed persona i made for myself because i’m convinced no one will love me as i am is crumbling. let’s kiss <3

Jason should kill the Joker and just not tell anyone. like, lets be real here, if he were to silently slip in and kill the Joker in his sleep, are any of the workers at Arkham really going to give enough of a shit to say anything??? with the paperwork they’d have to do, and the attention they’d get once the media caught wind of the break in/murder, i bet all Jason would have to do is leave like, a basket of muffins next to the dead body as a thank you and the staff would just dispose of the body and shut the fuck up about it.

i bet you he could get through a solid six to eight month period of being weirdly happy and interactive with the rest of the family before Dick finally asks why he’s been in such a good mood lately over family dinner

Jason, casually: i dunno, i guess i’ve just had a weight lifted from my shoulders; there’s less to drive me away now.

Bruce, thinking he’s finally done something right: aw Jaylad, i’m so happy you’re feeling more comfortable!

Dick, the only batkid around when Jason was Robin, remembering all the times Jason would transform into the happiest kid on the planet only for them to find out a week later it was because he’d pushed a bully down the stairs at school and fractured his wrist: hold on B.

Dick: Jay, what weight has been lifted?

Jason, still nonplussed: well i finally got my GED, and the Joker thing really calmed the lazarus rage. also Steph got me into puppy yoga, we go once a week.

Bruce:

Bruce: what Joker thing.

Jason, glancing up from his food: ? d’i not mention that? he’s dead, man.

Bruce:

Dick:

Dick: sorry, what?

Tim: why the fuck am i never invited to puppy yoga?

Bruce, having a panic attack: y- what are you talking about Jay-

Tim: i would LOVE to go to puppy yoga. what the FUCK?

Jason, shrugging: you can come to puppy yoga, replacement, it’s all good

Bruce: the Joker’s dead?

Tim: FUCK YEAH, PUPPY YOGA

Jason: i think they do it with goats too.

Damian: i would be interested in this activity.

Jason: hell yeah family yoga session

Bruce: JASON PLEASE EXPAND ON THE JOKER THING

Jason: no i don’t like your tone. anyway, dick, puppy yoga?

Dick:

Dick, glancing at Bruce’s glare nervously: …i would be down for puppy yoga

a deep dive on adam/blue

okay i just need to do talk about blue and adam’s brief “relationship” because (1) i never used to like it and it always felt needless in the story/got in the way of the found family, but upon rereading it works well in the narrative and (2) there is way too much underlying misogyny when discussing blue that i just need to talk about

the gist is that blue and adam are such similar people who were both using their relationship as deflection, and were not good to eachother because they’re 16/17! not because they are evil or irredeemable

but the reason i realized upon rereading why the adam/blue relationship is so important in the first two books is because it shows us exactly why both pynch and bluesey work so well:

adam wanted blue to be the simple thing in his life that isn’t tarnished by his abuse, which is a completely valid reaction from the trauma he is facing. he’s secretive about his home life (not that he owes that to her) because he wants her to see a different version of himself. that’s why he is more upset about the kissing than the lack of emotional romantic connection.

adam calling blue in front of ronan, pointing out to gansey that he “got blue” without him shows it’s also just a teenage boy competition thing. he doesn’t really understand what entails in a healthy relationship and just wants blue, to have anything of his own. this makes sense for a traumatized 17 year old, but isn’t fair for blue to have to be the simple “easy” thing in his complicated life when she has her own issues and life, and adam is in a really bad mental state and expecting things from her she doesn’t want to give

while adam wants to seperate from his abuse, blue wants to seperate from her curse. she does want adam, and she firmly tells the universe that she wants to choose him, not gansey as an effort to escape their fate.

but of course, she is inevitably drawn to gansey and blue tells gansey about the curse and not adam, because she doesn’t want to break their allusion that they could just be normal teenagers, and gansey quite literally needs to know or he will die.

it is unfair to adam that she immediately went to gansey after and used him as deflection from her curse when she knew something could happen with his best friend, and to hide it from him after.

this conflict is showcased really well in their fights in the dream thieves. adam is solely focused on why blue won’t kiss him, blue is focused on why he wont tell her anything, and just keeps bringing it back to gansey (again, emotional connection vs the kiss, the curse and adam’s abuse lingering)

adam is extremely unfair to blue during this because he acts as if blues romantic attention is something he deserves, even pushing it after she tells him about her curse because he is so desperate for connection and blue doesn’t just want to be his girlfriend:

blue is extremely unfair because after the fight, she immediately went to gansey, his best friend right after they broke up, and didn’t consider adam’s feelings or how effected he was by his trauma and how rocky his friendship with gansey was - especially talking about adam with gansey

so, yes they both messed up and used eachother!

but at their core, it shows how well adam and ronan work: someone adam can kiss and love who has seen and fought his abuse head on and still loves him for it and understands him. he never got a chance to try and hide from ronan, he knew adam was from the beginning

and why blue and gansey are soulmates: someone who has an emotional connection with blue and sees her as a person and a friend first, who wants to kiss her, badly, but doesn’t expect anything. (there’s a good parallel in tdt of gansey discussing blue here vs the adam fight)

but onto the underlying misogyny: somehow the blame is always put onto blue for “cheating” and acting as if she was a master manipulator?? there seems to be a weird undertone by placing the blame on the only female character, while the boys are allowed time to grow and make mistakes and just be mean! especially since blue didn’t know half the things going on with adam, and wasn’t trying to hurt him, but it is always off-putting to me when people are always so defensive of everyone except blue…

i think they’re both equally at fault! it’s messy and mean, but the fact that they both heal and both recognize and regret the hurt they’ve done to each other shows there’s no need to completely absolve one party. like they both admit they were shitty, we should be able to do the same and love them all the more because it’s real! they’re young! they get it right eventually! i love them both so much

article title clickbait for the gangsey —

blue:

gansey:

henry:

adam:

ronan:

noah:

bonus, gray man:

Jason is a protective brother.

I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense in the gritty and angst canon, but I like to believe Jason will give his brothers hell but will ultimately be the most protective of them.

Punching Dick? No problem.

Some random punk ass gang got a few sucker punches on his big brother and then got away?

One week later every single member is found beaten up in front a police station.

Teasing Tim for being awkward around  Bernard? A necessity.

Some dude makes a snide homophobic remark to Tim? His Tiny Robin Tim?

Nope, Jason just punches the dude on the throat.

Trolling the Demon brat? His duty as a big brother.

Damian is in a tight spot with some rogue?

Nah, Red Hood apparently just materializes in the scene and takes them out, Damian had under control? Yes, did Jason care? No.

still thinking about how declan told ronan “be dangerous” and then declan, a man who has spent his entire life perfecting the bland & boring act, who has always tried to be invisible to stay safe, to protect his family, went into a notoriously dangerous black market and committed mass murder

Star Trippin' , Baby

opal pond time