Shit I’ve Heard Chemistry Majors Say

shit i’ve heard chemistry majors say

- *student in a lab coat, cutting in the cafeteria line* YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I DON’T HAVE A LOT OF TIME MY EXPERIMENT IS GOING TO CATCH FIREEEE

- *loud pop* student, in very calm voice: well that was painful

- lab assistant, seeing me frantically pulling on gloves: oh no. what did you do now

- professor: come on guys, don’t hate on social sciences majors… it’s not their fault they were born this way

- so i was grading your tests last night. i wanted to kill someone.

- you have five minutes until the end of class to finish the test. but i want to go outside for a smoke, so three

- *section of lab report titled “applications of compound”* i heard that a drug cartel used it to dissolve bodies, should i list that?

- “i’m synthesizing this compound in my next lab class, what kind of stuff effects the success rate and yield?” “dunno man, it depends on your karma”

- based on my recent lab assignments, i have come to the conclusion that the professor wants me dead

- dude, Fehling’s solution contains glucose, what if it tastes like lemonade? *proceeds to dip finger in and lick it* well that was a disappointment. the potassium hydroxide makes it kinda bitter.

- professor: you’ll understand this concept in your fifth year student: sir, this is a four-year program professor: oh, then never

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