Ask My Muse ANYTHING. There Are ZERO LIMITS!

beautifulburnout:

On the sidewalk Jonny saw cars just keep flashing by. It was a little discouraging when so many people refused to stop, but he supposed this Las Vegas. He wasn’t sure he’d stop for a stranger on the side of the road either. He probably looked insane sitting here barefoot anyway so he felt less bitter as time went on and more just miserable. He didn’t want to deal with all the fallout of this either. Cancelling cards, getting his license again and all the bullshit that went along with that. He humored the idea of going in search of a payphone but who was he kidding? This was 2017.  Jonny was too absorbed in his thoughts to notice when someone did finally stop to see if he was okay. He didn’t notice Jaxon pulling up or him at all until he was shining a light towards his face. Disbelief was written on his face. Of all the people to run into him in this state it had to be Jaxon. A complicated wave of emotions crashed over him. Relief that someone was there for him but also a confusing mix of doubts he knew were just creeping in because he was feeling so low. He hated how much of a slave he was to his own emotions. He couldn’t even respond to Jaxon properly. He just shook his head ‘no’ when he asked if he was okay. If he spoke he might cry. Even if Jaxon had seen him cry a thousand times, that was ten years ago and he should be able to handle himself by now. He knew that didn’t answer all of his questions but it was all he could muster at the moment. 

it didn’t matter at the moment— all of their... stuff. all of his feelings, past and present, all of his confusion, all of their strange tension. it didn’t fucking matter. not when something had happened, and jonny was upset, and hurting, and dear fucking god, hopefully not injured. he wanted to hug jonny close against his chest, kiss his forehead, tell him it would be okay, he’d look out for him, like always. but this wasn’t high school. this wasn’t 10 years ago. 

instead, he reached forward and touched his jaw, gently and hesitantly, just enough to get a better look at him. no blood or bruising. that’s good. but jonny was obviously shaken up and upset.  “ okay, alright. it’s okay. c’mon. let’s get you outta th’ gutter, huh? ” he murmured gently, standing up and offering his hands out to jonny. worry clawed through his ribs, and he worried that he was the wrong person to help jonny at a time like this.  “ wanna drive through starbucks? get something hot? ” he asked, opening the passenger side door for jonny to get into. 

jax ✉✉✉ jonny

jaxon: you're home and safe, yeah? not wandering around in the storm like i found tate.

the day got away from me and i meant to get all my replies done D: 

but i work tomorrow morning, and im v tired. 

so becca’s reply on jax, and then all of kapono’s replies will come tomorrow. as well as replies to starters c: 

i’ll also post the new bios on the main! 

love y’all <3 <3 <3

Isabel Lucas and Kellan Lutz on the Gold Coast for the premiere of their new film The Osiris Child.

jaxon tucked his hands into his leather jacket, a Marlboro Red cigarette hanging from his lips, as he waited for tate outside McCormick’s. the text and the request came somewhat as a surprise to him, especially considering tate’s history. he’d always regarded the man as a serial monogamist. and he was pretty sure tate agreed. after the heartbreak of his high school sweetheart that dear john’d him, tate hadn’t ever been interested in going out to bars with jax. but now... he was. jax was trying to be optimistic about the night, rather than worried about what it really meant that tate was going out just to get laid. 

“ hey, man, ” jax smirked, taking the cigarette from his mouth and reaching out to grasp tate’s hand. “ want a cigarette? ” he offered, wanting to feel out tate’s vibe before they headed in. 

@tatemcallisterr

All the honesty memes!

♥ - Something they like about your muse.

how kind and soft jonny is. jaxon really appreciates how much jonny cares. and how unabashed he is about it. it makes jaxon feel better about caring too much sometimes, and like that it reminds him that it’s a good thing. 

❦ - Something they hate about your muse.

jonny’s self-destructive tendencies. a small part of him, that he wouldn’t ever admit to outloud, blames jonny’s bad habits for the ending of their friendship. jaxon hates that jonny was so stubborn about wanting to get involved with shit jaxon knew was bad for him. 

✎ - A reason they’re jealous of your muse.

he likes how much jonny laughs, smiles, and jokes around. being serious or grumpy around jonny never lasts long, and jaxon is jealous how easy it is for jonny to find the good things, and enjoy the moment. so often jaxon gets caught up in his own negativity and his own bullshit. to jaxon, it seems like jonny doesn’t struggle with that quite so much. 

♪ - A secret they’re keeping from your muse.

uh, i mean… a lot. but the big one is his feelings for jonny. even after ten years, jaxon’s romantic feelings for jonny haven’t diminished. oh, and also how bad his ptsd really is. a lot of his behaviors are by-products of that, but jaxon has a really hard time admitting that. and doesn’t want to worry jonny. 

♤ - What they thought about your muse when first meeting.

“ how is someone so clumsy using a skateboard as their main form of transportation? i bet he falls like… a lot. ” (lmfao hes a dick) 

✉ |:

To: Jonathan Daniel Winchesterc/o Charlotte Sawyer. 

[ separately enclosed ] : 

Auntie— If I don’t come home, can you make sure this letter gets to Jonny? I’m not sure where he lives now, but I’m sure you could find him on facebook or something. Thank you. I love you. 

Dear Jonny. 

I know this is too many years too late, and this definitely is the worst way to find out about… all of this. So I’m sorry for this, first of all. Anyways… 

If you’re reading this letter (fuck, how cliche) … I didn’t come home from my deployment. And not like, I ran away to France kind of didn’t come home. Like, never coming home. I don’t know if you even know I joined the Marines after I stopped fighting. But I did. Off to serve my country. So, if you’re reading this, I died for my country. 

And now, writing this, days before my first tour, I know that it’s a real possibility. So I’m putting certain things in place. My will, letters to the girls, and my mama, and auntie. Stuff like that. And a letter to you. Because I’ve been selfish and stupid enough with you in my life. I can’t be selfish and stupid in my death too. If I die before I ever get to see you again and tell you this shit in person, I want you to know some things. 

I’m sorry, Jay. I’m so fucking sorry. I was such a fucking asshole back then. I was possessive, and jealous, and over-protective. And I pushed you away. I made things miserable between us, because I couldn’t fucking handle my shit, and my feelings. It’s been two years, and I swear to god I think about you and us at least once a day. There’s always something that reminds me of you, or reminds me of how stupid I’ve been. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger, or more rational, or more patient, or more kind. I’m sorry I wasn’t better. I need you to know that what happened between us is the biggest regret of my life. Hurting you is the worst thing I’ve ever done. And at the point that you’re reading this, I’ve probably killed at least one person. I’d still regret hurting you and losing you more. 

The truth is that… I love you. Not just “I love you, man” kind of love. I’m in love with you. Yeah, present tense. I have been for so fucking long. I think I first realized how I felt about you…. 6 months after we met. I think even during that time I was in denial, because I didn’t know how to reconcile the fact that you were a guy. But it didn’t matter. I was confused, and I didn’t understand… But I understood that you smiling at me was the best thing I’ve ever fucking felt. And I understood that if I smiled, you’d smile back. You always joked that I only ever smiled with you… That’s why. I didn’t care about smiling at anyone else, because it didn’t feel like it did with you. God, how gay is that? haha. Guess I shouldn’t be confused about that anymore, huh? 

You were my best friend, Jonny. You were the only person I ever wanted to spend time with, and I only ever wanted you to spend time with me. You going away to college was so fucking hard, because I knew it meant that I’d missed my chance. Whatever slim chance I ever could have had. But you were going away, and you hadn’t even been there two weeks, and you were already telling me about this new guy you were dating. And fuck… Being jealous was bad enough, but then you were telling me that he was taking you to parties and introducing you to that… bullshit. And then i was angry, and protective, and scared for you. All of that, plus being so hopelessly fucking in love with you, and so god damn lonely… I didn’t know how to handle all those fucking feelings. So I was just a dick. I was mean to you because all my frustration just turned into aggression, i guess… Then you were upset and hurt, and you didn’t understand, and I just got more angry and frustrated at myself. I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t better.

I remember that night. When we were so fucking crossfaded, and at that stupid party, and you kissed me. Oh my god. You laughed when you kissed me, and I’m pretty sure I almost passed out. You sitting on my lap was nothing new, but I can remember the way you felt that night so clearly. And the way my heart pounded so hard the whole time. And everything that happened after that… I remember. I should have said something, but… I just thought, you were drunk, and you wanted affection. And I was always there to give that to you. Why would this be any different? Plus, i was so drunk, and after kissing you, I couldn’t figure out how to ask you to stay. I thought you were gonna come back. I woke up in the middle of the night, after I passed out, and I was so heartbroken, because you weren’t there. You’d left. And I didn’t understand why. You never leave. I figured that meant you regretted what happened. And I was so scared to have that confirmed, so I never brought it up. And I figured if you wanted it to happen again, you would have said something. Because… you’re you. And you’re not afraid to ask for what you want. But you didn’t ask for me again, and that was my answer. Maybe I was wrong, and maybe that was my biggest mistake. But sometimes I still dream about the way your lips tasted that night. 

Anyways… this is sappy enough. And I realize that this might just make everything worse, especially now that I’m dead. So, I’m sorry. If this makes it worse. But I just couldn’t die without making sure you knew all this stuff. 

I love you, Jay. I’ve loved you, so much, for so long. Don’t let piece of shit guys fuck with you. You’re a god damn masterpiece, kid. And I know you’re gonna put so much beauty in this world. I’m sad I’ll never get to see it. Please, take care of yourself. And find happiness. You deserve it more than anyone I have ever met in this stupid life. 

Give ‘em hell, pretty boy. 

- Jaxon Benjamin Sawyer. (aka jaxy)

tylerbeyond:

“your mom sends you cupcakes to annoy you?” tyler asked, skeptically, but taking two cupcakes nonetheless. “i wish my mom annoyed me with home made cupcakes. my mom just annoys me with complaining about why i don’t get along with my grandfather.” he began licking the icing off the first cupcake. “so what’s the occassion? like, literally to annoy you, or a congratulations maybe?” his wide eyes and bouncing leg made it seem like he’d already had five cupcakes. “and why do you look so bummed out?” this time there was more concern in his voice.

“ she’s fuckin’... sneaky, ” jax scowled slightly. he knew he was being ridiculous. it was cupcakes, and it was his birthday. but his mama’s slightly sarcastic smile as she sent him off with cupcakes and made the girls sing happy birthday to him over breakfast told him that she was at least slightly teasing him.  “ what’s th’ deal with your grandfather? ” he asked, curiosity getting the best of him. tyler seemed to enjoy the cupcake, and jax forced himself to stop being a grump and give it a try.  “ eh. it’s my birthday, ” jax shrugged, pinching off a piece of the cupcake to taste. they were good, of course. but his mama knew he wasn’t super fond of sweets.  “ jus’ not a big fan of my birthday, ya know? which, i know. makes me sounds like a fuckin’ buzzkill. but i dunno. ”

Kellan with Ronda Rousey and Glenn Powell

hinemoanax:

Kora blinks in the darkness as the man on their porch speaks - they recognize the voice, and as their eyes adjust, their brows lift. They hadn’t expected Jax to be the one to turn up on their doorstep - usually if anyone arrived at their house in the middle of the night it was a drunk college-friend who’d thought it’d be easier to uber to Kora’s and crash on their couch. 

“Oh. Sup, dude.” 

Kora blinks a few more times like a sleepy child trying to process something, kind of just letting his words rush over them. They don’t say anything for a second, snapping the door shut. It opens a moment later, as they’d had to slide the chain off before letting him in. 

“I can handle blood,” they say, pulling the door open to let him in. Normally they’d probably be a little freaked out in a situation like this, but they were at that stage of sleep-deprivation where everything felt just a little surreal, like they were watching themselves from afar. Like they were existing but slightly to the left, or like they were watching it on tv.

“Uh… What the fuck happened?” They ask as they usher him inside, shutting the door and locking it again out of habit. They scuttle across the room afterwards to flick on a main light, illuminating the room that’d previously only been lit by a side lamp and the blue glow of the television. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, of course.” They’re quiet a moment before flapping a hand at him, dragging a chair out from under the kitchen table and gesturing it as they try to think back to that first aid course they took in high school. 

“Uh. You should sit, or something.”

jaxon groaned as he shifted, the wound in lower back shooting sharply with pain. this had to take the cake for one of the fucking stupidest thing he’d gotten himself into. seeing kora’s hesitant reaction, he couldn’t help be feel guilty for imposing himself (and all his bullshit) on the younger one. but kora was someone he thought as solid, and he’d definitely be making it up to them in the future. hard. 

“ ‘course you can ask. i mean, i’m showin’ up here late as fuck, bleeding. kinda owe it to you, ” he huffed with a soft chuckle.  “ i, uh... got into a bar fight. which, is dumb enough. but people are stupid and crazy, and this guy’s buddy stabbed me with a god damn nail. and i.... i kinda need you t’ pull it out. i’ll talk you through it. ” he offered up, a small consolation to an admittedly crazy request. he’d do it himself, but with the nail shoved into the meat on the left side of his lower back, he couldn’t really reach it on his own. 

he sat with a groan, sitting sideways and pulling his shirt higher up off his back. the nail was protruding about an inch out of his back. driving here was a fucking bitch, but it was the reason he came here. it was the closest. he set a small first aid kit on the kitchen table (one of the ones he kept in his truck). “ if this is too much, tell me. i don’t wanna ask you t’ do something you’re not okay with. i know it’s a lot. ”