I Have Terrible Luck With Technology. And My Modem Crapped Out On Me Tonight. So Replies Will Have To

shvdykiid:

                        The pair share a strange relationship and it shows Oliver holds a fondness for the man currently scowl. The ginger just rolls his eyes and takes one of the many cupcakes. Gingerly taking a bite before he begins to start the bickering that just seems to always happen between the two. Maybe it was the clash between personalities. Jax is warmer in comparison to Oliver’s standoffish personality.

“What’s the big deal? You’re still young and got loads of years to go through before you start needing my help around here,” Oliver teased as he held a serious face. He takes another bite to enjoy the cupcake.  “Are these homemade or from a bakery?”

sure, they hadn’t met in the most conventional of ways. but jaxon’s life hadn’t really been conventional anyways. so what was one more? plus, the kid was interesting and amusing, and the morgue was a quiet place for jax to get away when he was tired of all the bro-y cop shit.  “ you gonna be my hospice? or jus’ gonna do my autopsy? ” he shot back with a mirrored teasing. the cupcake was mostly unconsumed, but he picked at the frosting, very slowly eating it.  “ homemade. mama likes to be smug about doin’ shit by hand for me. just tell me if i’m bein’ a fucking brat. ”

tylerbeyond:

“nope!” tyler said in a faux-cheery tone. “he never even cared to know me. honestly, i don’t remember much of him before we moved in. maybe i do but all shit that came after just blocks it out.” he shrugged, carelessly. it didn’t matter now. tyler never had to see his grandfather unless he really wanted to. laughing, he stuck his tongue out at jaxon. “fuck you man, no party is actually a party until i show up. oscars after party? not a real party until i show up.” wicked smirk on his face, he added, “it’s gonna be fuckin lit.”

“ yeah, i know that feelin’. i worshiped my dad as a kid. but after... everything with him went down. now he can get real fucked, ” jax replied, nodding in agreement with tyler’s sentiment. he hadn’t seen his father since he’d made sure the man went to jail. and had no plans to ever see him again. but jaxon didn’t dwell. instead he laughed at tyler’s little scowl.  “ oh yeah? damn, there are... so many parties that are real fuckin’ disappointed. ‘cause the great party god, tyler beyond never showed up to bless them party-hood, ” he shot back, a mirrored smirk.  “ c’mon, party god. i’m thirsty. ”

shvdykiid:

“Hm…” he sighs like he’s giving it some real thought. “You know– I wouldn’t mind being both. I would like to still be around to do your autopsy,” he says with a genuine tone. If only the boy knew how strange it was to say such a thing. He forgets other’s aren’t as twisted on the inside. While he wants to do his best skill as a favor, he doesn’t understand just how creepy it really is. “I’ll make sure no one stuffs you and your casket with money and/or drugs.” He speaks with a teasing tone, but his eyes say there is truth to his promise.

Despite the talk of death in their conversation, Ollie gave a shrug when it came to the cupcake. “I don’t normally like sweet foods. Yet, I can see myself buying these cupcakes from a bakery. It’s the highest compliments to your mother. You’re being a brat and nothing is wrong with your age,” he speaks with a smirk.

jaxon laughed warmly and shook his head, no doubt amused by oliver’s dark sense of humor. in a weird, fucked up way, it was familiar. after all, nothing like gallows humor to alleviate the drudgery of war. it must’ve been why jaxon felt so comfortable around the odd boy.  “ sounds like a nice way t’ go out. just promise you’ll keep me heavily drugged, ” jax replied, leaning back in his chair and smearing the icing beneath his finger.  “ awe, thanks. that’s sweet. no cupcakes either, yeah? homemade or bakery. ”  jax had come to terms with death and dying years ago. maybe it should phase him, and yet.  “ yeah, i’ not huge on sweets either. which she knows. but if you knew my mama, you’d know she’s teasin’ me with this. but i’ll let her know you like ‘em. against all odds. and yer right, i know i’m being dumb. i dunno. do you like yer birthday? ”

✉ |:

To: Jonathan Daniel Winchesterc/o Charlotte Sawyer. 

[ separately enclosed ] : 

Auntie— If I don’t come home, can you make sure this letter gets to Jonny? I’m not sure where he lives now, but I’m sure you could find him on facebook or something. Thank you. I love you. 

Dear Jonny. 

I know this is too many years too late, and this definitely is the worst way to find out about… all of this. So I’m sorry for this, first of all. Anyways… 

If you’re reading this letter (fuck, how cliche) … I didn’t come home from my deployment. And not like, I ran away to France kind of didn’t come home. Like, never coming home. I don’t know if you even know I joined the Marines after I stopped fighting. But I did. Off to serve my country. So, if you’re reading this, I died for my country. 

And now, writing this, days before my first tour, I know that it’s a real possibility. So I’m putting certain things in place. My will, letters to the girls, and my mama, and auntie. Stuff like that. And a letter to you. Because I’ve been selfish and stupid enough with you in my life. I can’t be selfish and stupid in my death too. If I die before I ever get to see you again and tell you this shit in person, I want you to know some things. 

I’m sorry, Jay. I’m so fucking sorry. I was such a fucking asshole back then. I was possessive, and jealous, and over-protective. And I pushed you away. I made things miserable between us, because I couldn’t fucking handle my shit, and my feelings. It’s been two years, and I swear to god I think about you and us at least once a day. There’s always something that reminds me of you, or reminds me of how stupid I’ve been. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger, or more rational, or more patient, or more kind. I’m sorry I wasn’t better. I need you to know that what happened between us is the biggest regret of my life. Hurting you is the worst thing I’ve ever done. And at the point that you’re reading this, I’ve probably killed at least one person. I’d still regret hurting you and losing you more. 

The truth is that… I love you. Not just “I love you, man” kind of love. I’m in love with you. Yeah, present tense. I have been for so fucking long. I think I first realized how I felt about you…. 6 months after we met. I think even during that time I was in denial, because I didn’t know how to reconcile the fact that you were a guy. But it didn’t matter. I was confused, and I didn’t understand… But I understood that you smiling at me was the best thing I’ve ever fucking felt. And I understood that if I smiled, you’d smile back. You always joked that I only ever smiled with you… That’s why. I didn’t care about smiling at anyone else, because it didn’t feel like it did with you. God, how gay is that? haha. Guess I shouldn’t be confused about that anymore, huh? 

You were my best friend, Jonny. You were the only person I ever wanted to spend time with, and I only ever wanted you to spend time with me. You going away to college was so fucking hard, because I knew it meant that I’d missed my chance. Whatever slim chance I ever could have had. But you were going away, and you hadn’t even been there two weeks, and you were already telling me about this new guy you were dating. And fuck… Being jealous was bad enough, but then you were telling me that he was taking you to parties and introducing you to that… bullshit. And then i was angry, and protective, and scared for you. All of that, plus being so hopelessly fucking in love with you, and so god damn lonely… I didn’t know how to handle all those fucking feelings. So I was just a dick. I was mean to you because all my frustration just turned into aggression, i guess… Then you were upset and hurt, and you didn’t understand, and I just got more angry and frustrated at myself. I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t better.

I remember that night. When we were so fucking crossfaded, and at that stupid party, and you kissed me. Oh my god. You laughed when you kissed me, and I’m pretty sure I almost passed out. You sitting on my lap was nothing new, but I can remember the way you felt that night so clearly. And the way my heart pounded so hard the whole time. And everything that happened after that… I remember. I should have said something, but… I just thought, you were drunk, and you wanted affection. And I was always there to give that to you. Why would this be any different? Plus, i was so drunk, and after kissing you, I couldn’t figure out how to ask you to stay. I thought you were gonna come back. I woke up in the middle of the night, after I passed out, and I was so heartbroken, because you weren’t there. You’d left. And I didn’t understand why. You never leave. I figured that meant you regretted what happened. And I was so scared to have that confirmed, so I never brought it up. And I figured if you wanted it to happen again, you would have said something. Because… you’re you. And you’re not afraid to ask for what you want. But you didn’t ask for me again, and that was my answer. Maybe I was wrong, and maybe that was my biggest mistake. But sometimes I still dream about the way your lips tasted that night. 

Anyways… this is sappy enough. And I realize that this might just make everything worse, especially now that I’m dead. So, I’m sorry. If this makes it worse. But I just couldn’t die without making sure you knew all this stuff. 

I love you, Jay. I’ve loved you, so much, for so long. Don’t let piece of shit guys fuck with you. You’re a god damn masterpiece, kid. And I know you’re gonna put so much beauty in this world. I’m sad I’ll never get to see it. Please, take care of yourself. And find happiness. You deserve it more than anyone I have ever met in this stupid life. 

Give ‘em hell, pretty boy. 

- Jaxon Benjamin Sawyer. (aka jaxy)

Send ✉ for your muse to receive a letter from my muse!

the day got away from me and i meant to get all my replies done D: 

but i work tomorrow morning, and im v tired. 

so becca’s reply on jax, and then all of kapono’s replies will come tomorrow. as well as replies to starters c: 

i’ll also post the new bios on the main! 

love y’all <3 <3 <3

rcbeccxs:

It was impossible for her face not to soften up at the words, the usual concerned look for her brother bear was now obvious in her face. “Gavin is good– yeah, he is fine,” she mumbled quickly about her other brother. She was rather more attentive and more concerned with the one who was in front of her. Rebecca was much smaller than him, but he knew she was all kinds of feisty, but she was also soft. Soft as silk and it was with the same softness that she let go of her mug of coffee and reached across the table for his hand. Much bigger than hers, without a doubt, but she held it. “What’s wrong Jax? What do you mean by crisis?”

“ told you he’d be okay. i’m glad t’ see you less freaked out. bet th’ little one is glad to have him back too, ” jaxon smiled, squeezing her hand gently where it wrapped around his own. he’d been worried too, of course. with the rank gavin with at, and the special missions he was on... there was more danger than most of the military. but he wouldn’t dare show his worry to becca. and now the point was moot. thankfully. though that didn’t seem to ease becca’s worry for him. he sighed softly, trying to wrap his head around everything enough to verbalize it. “ remember jonny? my best friend from high school. th’ one i had feelings for. well... he’s in vegas now. apparently. and he wants t’ reconnect. and... becca. i don’t know what t’ do. it’s too much. ”

the duality of man. ( aka tag dump )

Kellan with Ronda Rousey and Glenn Powell