"...it Is Sad Of Course, To Forget. But It Is A Lonely Thing, To Be Forgotten. To Remember When No One

nothing can ever beat the combo of chai and a good book

You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

Do you not feel the birth of a star at the touch of our fingertips.

Your lips caress my skin, turning the blood coursing through my veins into stardust; stardust that cannot be tamed, for all it knows is chaos.

My love, I ache for you to tame the stardust in me.

Make me yours.

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37. An excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

Endings are what give stories meaning. I don’t know if I believe that. I think the whole story has meaning but I also think to have a whole story-shaped story it needs some sort of resolution. Not even a resolution, some appropriate place to leave it. A goodbye.

- Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea

And then all of a sudden, it feels like January again, and you're all alone in that blanket of yours, dreaming of sunsets, stardust and peace.

is wanting to vibe under wisteria with my chai and a book too much to ask for?

I can't deal with physical loss. I'd rather lose you to someone else than lose you to the earth. Come back, love.

02.03.23

So, today, I got done with a lecture that I've been putting off since December. Feel much more productive. I have a long day tomorrow. I have 2 more lectures to go through and a 5 chap test of physics tomorrow.

Icarus has abandoned me:

The cosmos cries comets, the moon bleeds lullabies, and here i am, icarus; i, who can bear the quarrels of fate and time no more. you sought the sun, but did the sun seek you back? does it mourn you, or am i the only one doing that?

Who's stars am i aligning, are they mine? certainly that is what i was told (did you not tell me that, icarus) . those promises that I kept safe so dearly in my pockets, how did they find me? who am i to chase after the remarkable  (i thought i could, in the name of you, icarus).

i, who sought icarus, can hear him no more. i am searching. where are you?

it is your time to find me, icarus; search for me. heal me. answer me.