House Vines

House Vines

Gryffindor: *holding a “Yuleball?” Sign*

Hufflepuff: Oh! Oh my god! Yes!

Gryffindor: N-no! Tell Ravenclaw!

Hufflepuff: Okay. *whips around to where raven claw is sitting*

Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw! I’m going to the Yuleball with your boyfriend Gryffindor!

House Vines

Hufflepuff: Well I wanna see a manager.

Ravenclaw: Well, I am the manager and uh-I can’t give you the display bagel; it’s not real.

Hufflepuff: Test It.

Ravenclaw: No.

House Vines

Gryffindor standing on the edge of one of the buildings in hogsmeade getting ready to jump.

Slytherin: unenthusiastically Don’t kill yourself.

Gryffindor: Planking on the edge I might!

Slytherin: still unenthusiastically while trying to grab griffindor Don’t kill yourself.

Gryffindor: Hanging upside down from the edge I might!

Slytherin: whilst pulling gryffindor by their feet That’ll ruin the trip, dude.

What’s heavier?

Gryffindor: Got a question for you. What’s heavier? A kilogram of steel? Or a kilogram of feathers?

Time ticks

Gryffindor: That’s right. It’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.

Gryffindor’s Show!

Gryffindor: What do you mean?

Slytherin: They’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor: But steel is heavier than feathers...

Slytherin: Heh. I know, but they’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor:...Wha?

Gryffindor’s Show!

A scale holding both a kilogram of feathers and steel stands before gryffindor. The scale is balanced.

Gryffindor: That doesn’t prove anything, because steel is heavier than feathers.

Hufflepuff: I know, but look. They’re both a kilogram. Right? So they’re the same.

Gryffindor: Ok, but look at the size of this. *points to the huge bag of feathers* That’s cheating!

Slytherin: *laughs* No, they’re the same weight!

Hufflepuff: *also laughing* it’s a kilogram!

Gryffindor: But steels heavier than feathers...

Gryffindor’s Show!

Ravenclaw examining the scale.

Ravenclaw: They’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor: Oh no...oh, no, you, ah...no...

Hufflepuff: You alright?

Gryffindor: *sadly* I don’t get it.

Slytherin: Sorry...

Ravenclaw: Yeah...Don’t worry about it!

House shenanigans

Hufflepuff: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Slytherin:

Gryffindor:

Ravenclaw:

Gryffindor: I’m gonna to tell them.

Literally everybody: DON’T YOU DARE!!

House Vines

Gryffindor: I’m not gonna convresate with you. I’m not gonna invest time-

Slytherin: *stirring tea* I think it’s converse.

Gryffindor: Huh?

Slytherin: Just say talk. *sips tea*

House Vines

Ravenclaw: *bursts through Hufflepuff’s common room door* WhY arEn’t tHe DiSHes iN AlPhaBeTiCal OrDeR!?

Hufflepuff: *sitting up from couch* What does that even mean?

House Vines

Gryfindor: What did you get in your happy meal?

Hufflepuff: Chapstick, what’d you get?

Gryfindor: A new SKATEBOARD!

Hufflepuff: Wha-

Gryfindor: *while skating away* LATER PUSSY!

House Vines

Muggle born Gryffindor: My mom said if I don’t get my grades up, she’s not gonna let me get my tetanus shot next year.

Hufflepuff: That’s weird..what are you gonna do?

Muggle born Gryffindor: Fucking study I guess.

House Vines

*eerie violin music playing*

Slytherin: Hello Gryffindor.

Gryffindor: Hi Slytherin.

Slytherin: *looks down*

Slytherin: Those shoes look familiar. *smiles coldly*