Judge: How Do You Plead?

Clone!Shep: Shoot them, I’m the real Shepard!

Shepard: The only way to know for sure is to shoot us both!

Kaidan, pointing his gun at the clone: The real Shepard would never pass up an opportunity to unnecessarily sacrifice themselves!

Childe: i’m about to go fight scaramouche i’ll post the vid later

Childe: nvm i got my ass beat i’m not posting that shit

Leviathan: just found out that people eat fish, what the actual fuck, what the fuck you guys

Leviathan: actually on second thought that’s kinda hot

Satan: please give it a third thought

Amber: my mom kept all our baby teeth but she didn’t separate them so there’s just a box she had with like three sets of random teeth mixed around

Bennett: my dad kept the dog’s baby teeth but not mine

Xiangling: okay im so sorry this isn’t actually funny but it’s like really funny im so sorry

Childe: what the fuck dogs lose their teeth? also who the fuck keeps baby teeth thats horrific

Razor: my dad kept my baby teeth. and then my second set fell out so i kept those in a little bag and now we both have have a set of my baby teeth

Albedo: wait what? how many sets of teeth do you have im so confused?

Razor: i had three sets of teeth. the dentist said it was fine cause nothing grew out of place but it was weird cause i had them for a few years then they started all coming out at once

Albedo: im sorry you grew teeth like a shark? what?

Chongyun: when i was younger i watched my babysitter take a plastic bag containing her baby teeth and crush them all into a powder under the leg of a chair cause she was bored

Xingqiu: excuse me?

Traveler: this entire conversation was like getting punched repeatedly, but from a different angle each time

no one:

Sole Survivor:

YOUR THOUGHTS?

Venti: octopi could hug four people simultaneously, because they are blessed with this ability. however, they don’t even hug one person because they have made covenant with evil. any questions?

Barbara: where is our regular pastor?

Venti: in a better place now sit down immediately

Childe: zhongli and i have been fighting lately

Childe: how do you deal with arguments between you and ningguang?

Beidou: me and my bitch don’t argue

Beidou: she tells me to shut up and i do

Leviathan: i wish i lacked critical thinking skills like mammon, he seems so happy

Childe: YEAH SONNNNNNN

Zhongli: daddy

Childe: what the fuck

Zhongli: you called me son and i panicked

Xingqiu: you may have chemistry with her, but you have history with me

Chongyun: you got your class schedule already?