I Wonder What Alastair And Cordelia Would Think Of Emma. I Like To Think There Are Bits Of Alastair That

The way it was talked about before the book came out made me think there was going to be more of Elias and his interactions/relationship with Alastair and Sona. I mean, there must've been a scene where they each first interacted with him alone. Idk, it felt really meh to just have a total of about 3 scenes wherein Elias was either being weird, drunk or just horrible and then he dies. Like, "here hate him for being bad before I kill him." I think the whole thing should've been explored more, idk.

We also get one line that suggests he doesn't want to have the new baby, which is another thing that was hinted at a bunch and which I thought would actually be talked about openly at some point and explored, not just tucked away in a rant before he dies and never really formally addressed. And I might be misremembering, but weren't Alastair and Cordelia going to have secret and important meetings about him or something? There was one scene where they talked after dinner but that's it? And Sona was so sure he'd changed and needed to be given another chance - - why?

I realize the writing must be based around whatever drives the plot, so such scenes would seem add-on but that only calls into question why Alastair isn't so much more important to the plot 😤 smh,,,, I just think there could've been a lot more Carstairs scenes in the book that would've helped in understanding each of the Carstairs characters.

Always really funny when I read a book where I relate to the main character, really see myself in them and understand their pain completely, and the reviews and comments are all "what an insufferable whiny bitch, i can't stand them"

did it hurt? when you forget your headphones and couldn’t romanticise your walk home?

"I would whisper to some shadow made of moonlight, "Am I beautiful? It is for you alone. Say that you love me, for without you I cannot live." It was true, at least, that youth cannot live without hope."

-- The Persian Boy, Mary Renault

"So much of the book’s cruelty (in the main characters, I wouldn’t really count like… Straike) is driven by deep shame at what they perceive as the “dark” elements of themselves, reflected outwards…” This is actually genius, and I never would’ve thought of it if you hadn’t mentioned it! Thank you! I wonder if it can be seen with even Mr. Straike: I think a huge part of displaying Straike's cruelty and hypocrisy in the book was done by nothing other than simply contrasting him with the conscientious objectors in hospital and he made it a point to be very insulting about them when Laurie is at home (but this may just be because everyone disliked them at the time).

Re Andrew’s letter though: I think he’s referencing punching Bunny. The thing he wants to kill is both his feelings for Laurie (which are, in that moment, an extension of his feelings of learning about Laurie/Ralph) and also his anger at being suddenly confronted with the truth of his emotions in quite possibly the worst way known to mankind. And I think he says he can never say what he wants to now because even if he establishes regular contact with Laurie through letters (which we aren’t even sure he does), he probably really will never allow himself to speak openly about the things he feels; he believes it’s wrong to feel this way, he might see it as temptation if Laurie looks on it favourably, etc.

‘I hope he finds a kindred spirit at the Quaker house in London.’ This is actually the perfect happy ending for him! It would be very lovely.

It's only been a little bit of time since I reread the book (maybe 2-3 weeks) but since then Andrew's letter is the one part I keep randomly thinking about. Specifically:

"The thing you want to kill is really in yourself. That is why people become cruel in war, because they are doing what I did...there is much more I should like to say, but now I shall never be able to say it. You know I shall remember you all my life.

Love,

Andrew."

I have this idea that Laurie keeps Andrew's letter in his pocket the way he kept the Phaedrus with him at all times; at the end of the book, we see it's still there and I don't think Laurie would get rid of it.

Gustave Caillebotte (French, 1848-1894), Le Petit bras de la Seine à Argenteuil, c.1890. Oil on canvas, 81 x 62.3 cm.

if Cordelia really did give Cortana to Alastair, that would solve the mystery of how the blade stays in the Carstairs family and reaches Emma. Cordelia might even be able to wield it later on (assuming she finds a way out of her situation) but I think she might just tell Alastair to keep it in the end, if not for himself then for their sibling.

The heather in bloom

laurie thinking he's in love with Adrian after surgery is funny to me because the literal next thing we read after he says 'it was she all the time whom he had really wanted' is just 'her hands have nice bones'

and it's also very lackluster when you compare this random detail with how he describes Ralph's hands after he sees his injury for the first time 😭😭

There's absolutely no way James will die, simply because of the fact that Jace has the same birthmark that stretches back to Will. The only option that could allow for James to die and also for the birthmark to reach Jace would be if Tessa and Will had a third son, which is impossible to insert into the story at this point because we have seen Tessa in the modern day and heard many references to her and Will's children - - they only had two, never was another one mentioned. It also can't happen that James dies and then another child is adopted into the family and takes the Herondale name because that would logically mean that this adopted child did not inherit the birthmark and therefore neither did any of his descendants, including Jace. This would be a plot hole, considering that it's known for a fact that Jace has this birthmark and it was this birthmark that saved Jace's life and allowed Imogen Herondale to realize he was her grandson.