Gustave Caillebotte (French, 1848-1894), Le Petit Bras De La Seine à Argenteuil, C.1890. Oil On Canvas,

"So much of the book’s cruelty (in the main characters, I wouldn’t really count like… Straike) is driven by deep shame at what they perceive as the “dark” elements of themselves, reflected outwards…” This is actually genius, and I never would’ve thought of it if you hadn’t mentioned it! Thank you! I wonder if it can be seen with even Mr. Straike: I think a huge part of displaying Straike's cruelty and hypocrisy in the book was done by nothing other than simply contrasting him with the conscientious objectors in hospital and he made it a point to be very insulting about them when Laurie is at home (but this may just be because everyone disliked them at the time).

Re Andrew’s letter though: I think he’s referencing punching Bunny. The thing he wants to kill is both his feelings for Laurie (which are, in that moment, an extension of his feelings of learning about Laurie/Ralph) and also his anger at being suddenly confronted with the truth of his emotions in quite possibly the worst way known to mankind. And I think he says he can never say what he wants to now because even if he establishes regular contact with Laurie through letters (which we aren’t even sure he does), he probably really will never allow himself to speak openly about the things he feels; he believes it’s wrong to feel this way, he might see it as temptation if Laurie looks on it favourably, etc.

‘I hope he finds a kindred spirit at the Quaker house in London.’ This is actually the perfect happy ending for him! It would be very lovely.

It's only been a little bit of time since I reread the book (maybe 2-3 weeks) but since then Andrew's letter is the one part I keep randomly thinking about. Specifically:

"The thing you want to kill is really in yourself. That is why people become cruel in war, because they are doing what I did...there is much more I should like to say, but now I shall never be able to say it. You know I shall remember you all my life.

Love,

Andrew."

I have this idea that Laurie keeps Andrew's letter in his pocket the way he kept the Phaedrus with him at all times; at the end of the book, we see it's still there and I don't think Laurie would get rid of it.

The way it was talked about before the book came out made me think there was going to be more of Elias and his interactions/relationship with Alastair and Sona. I mean, there must've been a scene where they each first interacted with him alone. Idk, it felt really meh to just have a total of about 3 scenes wherein Elias was either being weird, drunk or just horrible and then he dies. Like, "here hate him for being bad before I kill him." I think the whole thing should've been explored more, idk.

We also get one line that suggests he doesn't want to have the new baby, which is another thing that was hinted at a bunch and which I thought would actually be talked about openly at some point and explored, not just tucked away in a rant before he dies and never really formally addressed. And I might be misremembering, but weren't Alastair and Cordelia going to have secret and important meetings about him or something? There was one scene where they talked after dinner but that's it? And Sona was so sure he'd changed and needed to be given another chance - - why?

I realize the writing must be based around whatever drives the plot, so such scenes would seem add-on but that only calls into question why Alastair isn't so much more important to the plot 😤 smh,,,, I just think there could've been a lot more Carstairs scenes in the book that would've helped in understanding each of the Carstairs characters.

City of Bones, page 62:

Jace was seated at the grand piano…She must have made some noise because he twisted around on the stool, blinking in the shadows. “Alec?” he said. “Is that you?”

Clockwork Angel, page 100:

A boy with a violin propped against his shoulder. His cheek rested against the instrument, and the bow sawed back and forth over the strings, wringing notes out of it, notes as fine and perfect as anything Tessa had ever heard. His eyes were closed. "Will?" he said, without opening his eyes or ceasing to play. "Will, is that you?"

Queen of Air and Darkness, page 19:

A door opened at the top of the steps, and light spilled onto the dark landing. "Julian?" Emma called. "Julian, is that you?"

Chain of Iron, page 383:

James was still pushing against him, stiff armed, but his movements were slower now, his chest no longer heaving. "Matthew," he whispered. "Matthew, is that you?"

cassandra just give alastair one (1) friend 😭😭

I may be reading too much into this passage, or maybe someone's mentioned it before but I think it's so funny; it seems to me he's just describing Ralph and Andrew when talking about Hamlet and Brutus (and how he dislikes them 😭), and it seems to say a lot about how different Laurie is when we see him after Dunkirk.

"Have you got a brook in your little heart"

by Emily Dickinson

Have you got a brook in your little heart, Where bashful flowers blow, And blushing birds go down to drink, And shadows tremble so?

And nobody knows, so still it flows, That any brook is there; And yet your little draught of life Is daily drunken there.

Then look out for the little brook in March, When the rivers overflow, And the snows come hurrying from the hills, And the bridges often go.

And later, in August it may be, When the meadows parching lie, Beware, lest this little brook of life Some burning noon go dry!

I don't think Belial will actually be stabbed a third time by Cortana; in the Ghosts of the Shadowhunter Market, Belial is still around (and if I remember correctly, he shouldn't be around for at least a hundred years if he gets stabbed) and Jem mentions some kind of debt Belial owes him that hasn't yet been paid. Maybe, Jem and the rest of the gang get rid of Belial by making a deal with him? He gets Cordelia out of her oath with Lilith and promises to go away, as long as they stop hunting him? Maybe this is why the Carstairs owe the Herondales?

April

by Mary Oliver

I wanted to speak at length about the happiness of my body and the delight of my mind for it was April, a night, a full moon and --

but something in myself or maybe from somewhere other said: not too many words, please, in the muddy shallows the

Frogs are singing.

this is actually, besides thomas hitting his head on the wall apparently, the funniest bit of the book