Exactly! And No Other Spider Can Ever Replace Me I Hope!! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😉😏😋☺️🤭😁😌🥺🥹😳🙂💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

Well, appearantly you haven't! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘☺️😉😌😁🥳🤣😂👉🏻👈🏻

Hewwo! Guess what! I became a bird mommy to a beautiful () female crow just this morning and she's a precious, very non-aggressive and super chill sweetheart! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘🥳😁😌😉😳🥺🥹☺️😇✨👉🏻👈🏻

A spider raising a crow.

And here I believed I have seen everything.

(Separate) SlenderMan, and Zalgo as husbands? I love these two more than any Creepypasta guys XD

Part 1 - Slenderman as a Husband.

The second part will be released later on, though beware, in practice both Slender and Zalgo are pretty much opposites as husbands.

Note: One's relation to Slender and the label he assigns you will affect how he treats you and is towards you. Being his spouse puts you at the top of his world, though the label of lover, pet, and toy also exist.

Marriage is typically not an idea people consider when referring to the creature. Nor is dating. Despite that, you have somehow managed both, which is telling of a lot of things.

Firstly, you must be incredibly important and precious for this monster for him to both view you as his, and him as yours. Slender considers marriage to only be an act that can be done by equals. Of course, this does not mean you two hold the same strength, nor that you must be an inhuman entity just like him. Instead in his mind, you are a person who he will treat with respect. You are different but equal.

You are not a pet. You are not one of his underlings nor are you, his enemy. You are his one and only lover, the one he plans to treasure for life.

This means and has a lot of implications for your safety and his level of care.

Slenderman is a powerful entity, whose enemies stand little chance of hurting. You on the other hand are deeply meaningful to him, and so much easier to hurt, meaning that in a sense as his lover, and now spouse you have been walking around with a target on your back.

Worry not, for your husband won’t let any harm come your way. He will make sure you are well protected, aware of the situation, and that you have all that you may need.

This of course does not mean that you will lose your freedom or be limited in any way. You can go be and live how you want to, just with security at hand which I am sure you will agree to. It may not be the most comfortable way to go around town, however, Slender will go at length to you about the dangers of being with him poses. You will be made aware of the risk as soon as you two become lovers, way before marriage. If you are married to him, you have already agreed to do what it takes to keep you safe.

Otherwise, he would have had to let his sunshine go.

As both a husband and a lover Slender will ensure to devote proper time to you. He has his work and responsibilities that he cannot abandon, though certain less-important duties can be handed over to his trusted right-hand man.

Nevertheless, he won’t be with you all the time. He still has a lot of work to handle. However, he will pull through to be there for you when needed. Panicking? Scared? Unable to get out of bed? Your monstrous Husband will be there at your side, helping make you feel better and more comfortable.

Quality time spent together, and telekinesis of adoration are his main love languages.

He as a husband will take his position very seriously. He always does. Jokes and giggles have never been his cup of tea. As a husband, he will not only treat you well, respect you, protect you, and love you but he will also want you to have the word at your feet in any way you desire. Having his lover feel and being at their best makes him want to melt.

Look at you, that bright smile, that cleaver mind, and all that potential are constantly on his mind. How you managed to make him, an otherworldly being make him such a significant part of his life does make him wonder.

Elementary! 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍☺️😌🥳😋😉😁😇👉🏻👈🏻

Hey Harry, I'm back and I've missed talking to you! 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌😉😁🥺🥹😭

oh Spidey! it's been a while...

welcome back?!?

Slender Brothers and Female Beauty Practises Used in the Middle Ages!

What the Slender Brothers thought of beauty practices in Europe during the Middle Ages for Females. Inspired by Haus of Holbein from Six: The Musical XD 

Warnings: Well, Offender’s of course discusses rape so don’t read it if you know its going to make you uncomfortable. As a whole though, they all talk about pretty gross and painful sounding stuff. That’s what the practises for beauty were like at the time. That’s the whole topic. Basically though, if you’re cool watching Horrible Histories then these (Except Offenders) should be okay. 

~~~

Offenderman:

Man, your make-up, wigs and rat fur eyebrows are gonna get wiped off with him. This is not because he’s sloppy… its actually because he doesn’t like the taste. His mouth is gonna find itself in all sorts of places and he doesn’t need to be tasting hog grease on your face, no matter how good for your skin you might think it is! This includes if they used lead for makeup, arsenic, nightshade, lard, or anything else (for this reason, Offender actually avoided much accidental poisoning that way. Of course, this man poisons himself anyway with other drugs). Hair extensions would also go. He did get excited though when he, uh, caught a girl having her late night / before bed routine with blood on her face, though. Like when you get a box of cornflakes and theirs coco pops in there instead.

He was and still is pretty fascinated with corsets though.

Slenderman:

Don’t take this as Slender being ‘ahead of the time’, but the moment he left his forest for a moment and saw women replacing their eyebrows with rat fur and using pee to lighten their hair, he was out of there. No, no. Absolutely not. That’s disgusting and ridiculous. He goes home in disgust and then he laughs his ass off (Cruelly). Like I said, this doesn’t mean Slender was ahead of the time (None of them were or are. They can do their own research, but that can only lead them to be as forward as the rest of the world is- they’re telepathic, not psychic), it just means he was judgmental and thinks the only valid image of beauty is his own. “No Splender I’m not leaving this forest, there are people out there who pluck their hairlines away until they look like what emerges from a hens vagina. With a face.”  

Splenderman:

Splender has been around humans for so long and he pays so much attention (Not out of creepiness- out of care) that he is well aware of the state a human body should be in if it’s healthy and comfortable and how it definitely should not look if it is healthy and comfortable. This means that when people started getting sick and losing the ability to walk too early in life after they started using certain beauty practises, he knew exactly what to blame. And he, of course, tried to warn people when the topic came up and made his views on these things clear to people he knew, these things were kinda… normal?? You know? There wasn’t much he could do. People would just brush him off. Folks always complain about new things, that doesn’t mean they’re bad! Right?

This normalcy barrier though, did not stop our man from being a legit vigilante by night and making sure that various X-Ray clinics (These would be used for hair removal. You got stuck under the X-Ray machine for up to a day and it got rid of your hair… but it also, of course, destroyed your skin) and small cosmetics factories that put arsenic and deadly night shade in their products would shut down. He did this by stealing their equipment and materials and getting rid of it. Splender’s awesome.

Trenderman:

Of course, Trender is a fashion plate and he has always appreciated mortals’ sense of style and art, but he isn’t obsessive about sticking to the trends. He likes to do his own thing, you know? As a rule, he has always backed up his practises with science and his own experience with them, so I’m not gonna lie here. Some of the practises used during the Middle Ages did concern him a bit, aha. Such as the use of radiation for skin care and various poisons (Lead, arsenic, deadly nightshade). He would also take shoes very seriously with anyone he was dressing up for events and have them promise to him that they would excuse themselves from their party or whatever they were attending, for a bit and take off super high heels or too small slippers to let their feet breath and sit normally for a little while. He would go as far as to tell them horror stories about people who didn’t listen to him and couldn’t walk after the age of forty, or got seriously disgusting feet looking feet, or even had to have them chopped off. Yeah, Trender took it seriously.

Using mercury, though (Unfortunately), is not one of the things that concerned him. After the 1800’s, when Trender finally did fall seriously ill from the substance (It took him a while due to his superior immune system), he did of course immediately regret all of his work with it and halted its use in any of his practises. Its one of his biggest regrets. He used to recommend it so often to clients… and friends… and he can’t take any of that back. These days though he’s very current and aware to a genius extent on the subject of what’s healthy in the way of cosmetics. He doesn’t play with it at all.

I would never eat you though, @consult-sherlockholmes! You're practically just skin and bones! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🤭😁☺️😳😉😋🥳🤣😂😌🙂🥺💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

Stingy flies! Yummy! Also I can't wait to keep learning from you how to deduce things! And thanks for the infos, they're not only needed but also moch appreciated! You really have no idea how much I've missed you, along with everyone else. The only thing left that I really miss is my old username, so yes, I do agree with you on the matter that the old username was better. 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌😉😁🥺🥹😭😇😳😋🥳

Hey there Sherlock! I'm back! I hope you've been well and I hope you still keep up those awesome, braincell-revieving, scientific explainations about stuff like insects or arachnids like myself! 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌😋🥳😉😁🥺🥹😳😭

I had noted your absence, and wondered where my second favourite arachnid had gone (the title of favourite arachnid still goes to @criminalisticonsultant, apologies). So your return is much appreciated. Welcome back, I had missed your questions and comments. But I will miss your old name, @shame-of-chimical. Reminiscent of better times. However, there have been some major changes during your absence. If you want to know more about it, I would advise you to read this post, some further information here, and if you have any more questions please direct them to my consulting assistant @veritassempervincit. But I do have some insects for you, as I have been bee watching last weekend.

Trender: Do you remember a “Yousef Toungeri”, Slender?

Slender: Wasn’t that the fellow that gave us a feee fish at the mark every week, growing up?

Trender: No, no! That was Josef!

Slender: Then who’s Yousef Toungeri?

Trender: How the hell should I know, it’s addressed to Splendor!

Slender:

Slender: And why are you reading Splendors mail?

Trender: Because all you got were stinkin’ bills!

Can u write friendship headcanons for slenderman , jeff and masky with a frend who sticks out in the mansion for being pure , innocent and kind? The type of person that makes lunches for the proxys wen they go out for a mission and pack's the sandwiches so that are cut to look like dinosaurs and is a all around positive person to be around? Thank you!

Slender:

He appreciates you more than he could ever express. You help him out in so many ways and keep the mansion's moral up exceedingly high, and it does a lot for all of them. He tries to tell you that you don't have to be so worried over everyone and that you can take breaks and relax too, but when you tell him that it's just something you really love doing with that big happy smile of yours he just can't help but pat you on the head and thank you for it.

Jeff:

Having someone like you around does a lot of good for Jeff's mental state. Being around someone cheerful, kind, and supportive of him helps him to feel much happier and takes a lot of the stress off of his shoulders. You'll always be one of his go to's, especially when he gets off of work because your smile and bubbly attitude can always bring him back into a happy mood after all of the horrible things that he has to do out there.

Tim:

Tim feels spoiled by you, and he loves doing things in return for you as well. You've made their lives much happier and easier, and he can't thank you enough. You've especially done so much for Toby, and Tim is almost amazed at how much Toby has grown as a person since you've been around. Whenever you make lunch for them before work Tim always makes it up to you by making you dinner, just so he can express his thanks.

Hey! I'm innocelt in this! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍☺️😌😁😉😋😅🥹🥺👀😳🙂😏👉🏻👈🏻

👀

.....Ah, it's a "sip of the ol' 50 year whisky day".

Any flies you wanna get rid off by the way? @consult-sherlockholmes said there were some around your flat and that they are annoying to you. 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌🥳😋😉😁

Hi John! I've missed halking to you! I tried to tag you in my post about the new account but I don't know if you were sucessfully tagged in it! Anyways, hello again! 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌😉😁🥺🥹😭

Hello there!

Ah, no I didn't see it but welcome back!