Stingy Flies! Yummy! Also I Can't Wait To Keep Learning From You How To Deduce Things! And Thanks For

PDA Headcanons for Crowley & Aziraphale (gender-neutral reader)

Crowley:

Super comfortable with public displays of affection. Only if he knows you’re also comfortable with it, of course.

He likes letting other people know you’re his (and, vice versa, that he’s yours).

Touchy. VERY touchy. Like one or more of his hands are probably on you at all times.

He likes having his arm around your shoulders (bonus points if you are quite a bit shorter than him - he likes the feeling that he’s keeping you safe.)

If you’re sitting down in a public place (like a park bench, for example) do not think he won’t pull you into his lap. Because he will. All the time.

He will grab your ass in public. He will probably do it discreetly, but he does it just to make you blush and get all flustered.

Constant use of petnames. Sweetheart is his favourite.

Absolutely not ashamed to kiss you in public. Like he will do it a lot. Not just your lips either. Cheeks? Yep. Neck? Y E P. If you have skin showing, Crowley wants to have his mouth there.

More than once he has kissed you, pinned you against a wall on some discreet London corner and things got a little too heated. Cue the two of you rushing back to the Bentley to get to somewhere a little more private 👀

Aziraphale:

Definitely not as confident about PDA as Crowley, but that doesn’t mean he won’t show you any affection in public. He’s just more subtle about it.

Hand holding. Literally his favourite thing to do ever. Does that thing where he rubs little circles into your hand with his thumb !!!

If you lean your head into his arm/shoulder when you’re walking and holding hands?? This angel will straight up melt.

Also likes using petnames on you, though Aziraphale prefers the more traditional “my dear/darling”.

I mean he’s just a good old fashioned gentleman. Holds doors open for you, never lets you carry anything ever even if you insist you’re fine.

You’re cold? He’ll be wrapping his jacket around your shoulders before you can even start shivering.

Will still give you forehead kisses and probably also kiss the back of your hand because he is SOFT AF.

One day you surprise him with a kiss on the lips whilst you’re out for a stroll and he goes red and probably starts tripping over his own feet but is grinning the whole way home.

Nsfw Masky and Toby?

u//w//u

Masky

Tim prefers to be top dog in and out of the bedroom.

It helps him feel more in control of situations he normally wouldn’t have.

Even though he has a more dominant personality, he’s not much of a rough guy.

But shit, if his /o wants it rough he’ll give it to her.

He’s kind of big tbh

Run your hands through his hair, and give it a reassuring tug, please!~

He’ll melt like puddy at your touch.

And he loves it when you cover him in hickeys, love bites, and scratches.

He might admire it in the mirror afterward with a cheeky smile.

He likes missionary more just so he can feel your legs squeeze tight around him when you cum.

Oh, yeah, he’s a moaner too. Very vocal.

Mostly grunts and light growls in the act, but when he cums it’s drawn out along with each final thrust.

But he’s also open to places outside of the bedroom like couch and kitchen.

If you want a quickie he knows how to bend you over and pound relentlessly into your g-spot.

Because a quickie has to be quick, right?

He’s fantasied about spying on you masturbating before, and then you ask him to come in. It gets him off every time.

I can also see him being into cock warming when you cuddle afterward.

Which is always a must.

Masky is more rough and dominant, maybe even animalistic sometimes compared to Tim.

He’s rough, dominant, and won’t be afraid to shove your face into the pillow while pounding you.

Or spank you until your ass is red if you’ve been bad.

He’ll growl into your ear and bite at your sensitive skin.

And yes, the mask stays on.

Toby

Surprisingly a switch, it really depends on his mood.

One moment he’s happy to pin you down face down, ass up and go to pound town.

Other times he’s extremely vanilla and wants you to ride him into tomorrow until he can’t moan anymore.

His member is bigger than average, but he knows how to use it after he gets some experience.

He has a praise kink, and don’t tell me otherwise.

It doesn’t matter if he’s domming or subbing, if you praise him expect the countdown to cum to be split in half. But praising might mean he’ll start to lean towards subbing.

“Toby you’re doing so well, I can barely keep still~”

He likes to hear that he’s the one pleasuring you. That he’s making you squirm under his touch and feel wave after wave of bliss.

He’s not fond of hurting you,

But let me tell you,

This boy can fuck f a s t. His hips will meet yours at insane speeds when he’s in the zone.

Sex is passionate for Toby, and he loves when your eyes meet. He’ll also press his forehead against yours after he finishes.

Toby can literally go until his muscles give out. He doesn’t feel the pain of his muscles protesting against his actions, so he can go as long as his body allows.

Loves shower sex. It’s just so hot and steamy, and you don’t even have to move too much after you both finish bc the shower is right there.

Also, he gets to kiss your neck and wash your hair for you which is cute as hell.

He needs to cuddle afterward or else it’ll be sad boi hours.

Can I use that for roaches as well? 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😂🤣😅😁☺️😳😉😋🥳👀👉🏻👈🏻

Tumblr seems to do targeted advertisements now. Or maybe that was just a coincidence that they are providing an ad for meat seasoning right after I posted about a cannibal seasoning their meat of choice. "The taste their meat craves" They even got the garlic I just talked about. Very fitting. Meat seasoning for cannibals. How neat. At least we now know the perfect christmas present for any cannibalistic friend you have.

Narrow what down? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍☺️😌🥳😋😉😁😇👉🏻👈🏻

Hello again, Mycroft! How's life? 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌😋😁😉🥺

...Did you hurt yourself, Sherly? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😌😁✨😳😉☺️🤣😂🥲😋😳👉🏻👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.

Slender: Splendor hand me that newspaper

Spendor: Oka- No! You're going to hit me with it.

Slender: I won't.

Splendor: Do you promise?

Slender: Yes.

Slender:

Slender: Trender, hit your brother for me.

Are you really that sure? 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️😉😄😁😆😏😌☺️😂🤣✨👀👉🏻👈🏻

How can you determine if a person is interesting as you are?

As I am? I don't know if- maybe Eurus? Usually, it's just interesting on a fuckability scale. Never placed myself in the equation. Seems... unfair to the others.

Happy Valentine's Day, by the way! To you and to @thedetectivefrom221b!! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😄😁😆😉☺️😌👉🏻👈🏻

... I can't even send a gif? Boooring!

Fascinating that you have been testing it.

Are you bored or are you jealous of the new case I'm working on?

*I scream in terror and scurry off, scaring the shit out of a few dozen people in the bar as I flee.*

Tarantula: May I have a coke please

Waitress: All we have is Pepsis is that okay?

*Tarantula sweating nervously*: Y-you have what

I hope @consult-sherlockholmes didn't dislocate his hip! Because I sure know what that feels like! Can't you just force Sherlock to let you examine him, @consult-johnhwatson??? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍✨💯🥹🥺😅😭🥲😳☺️👉🏻👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.