@papaya-twinks REMINDING ME OF YOU
Early years đĽđĽđĽđĽâ¤đ¤¤đ¤¤đ¤¤đ¤¤đ¤¤
RIDICULOUS â L.N
in which lando can longer cope with you laughing at the mere idea of being with him, and you realise it wouldnât be that ridiculous. but it may be all too late.
warnings; nswf, smut, unprotected sex, friends to lovers, lando in the friend zone, implied that reader is a year or two older than lando, little bit of angst, choking, soft dom!lando, silly reader, overstimulation i guess, lotta praise, oral, fluff at the end if you squint
lando was infatuated the moment he met you.
it took a while to realise how strongly he felt, considering he met you at arguably the most chaotic time of his life.
his first year in f1, carlos his teammate; meaning you were around every race from the start, to this day.
he wanted his own photographer after a mere few interactions with you, but quickly realised he only cared about photos because you were the one occasionally taking them.
carlos signing for ferrari meant lando was losing two people; his teammate and you. his friend.
heâd jokingly asked you to jump ship, work for him instead. if only you knew how serious he was being.
you never looked at lando the way he looked at you. he was like a friends annoying little brother, one you couldnât help but pity and adore.
he made you laugh, was fun to be around. a change from the personalityâs you would come across in the paddock. it was no shock to you that carlos built a bond with him â as did you.
since joining ferarri you didnât see the brit as much as youâd like, not that carlosâ new teammate was a let down. charles was lovely. you didnât feel invasive taking shots of the pair of them.
but you still kept it touch. occasional group outings, dinners and celebrations. you werenât oblivious to the way he always made time for you. but you were naive to the deeper meanings.
his flirtations were nothing of concern, to you it was a running joke. amongst many of you; you didnât think lando actually wanted anything from you beyond platonic.
he could handle rejection. but being laughed at? he could only cope for so long.
âhe begged me to invite you tonight,â carlosâ words were teasing, directed towards you yet his eyes rested on lando; out for dinner with a few other team members from mclaren carlos hadnât caught up with in a while.
melbourne was one of your favourite races for this very reason, having to get here so early meant you had time to catch up with those in the paddock away from the craziness.
landoâs eyes lifted from the menu he was reading; scoffing immediately, already prepared to jump on the defence â not giving you a chance to speak.
âi was making sure you hadnât forgotten anyone, y/n included.â lando corrected, flashing you a grin in the midst of his explanation, one you mirrored.
âiâd like to think my presence would be a given,â you huffed back at carlos; and lando felt a fool for allowing his heart to jump at the prospect of you also defending him.
âof course it is. just saying, lando was set on making sure youâd be here.â carlos smirked; eyes now on his own menu, pretending as if he wasnât attempting to stir the pot.
âhe misses you,â an engineer spoke up from besides lando, nudging the british driver who could only roll his eyes; not at all unfamiliar with being targeted with such banter. he copped it a lot worse when you were all on the same team.
âmhm, misses me. not carlos.â you grinned; practically bragged â nudging carlos this time; youâd grown a talent it seemed for redirecting the topic of conversation. trying too at least, and the way lando smirked made it clear he appreciated your efforts.
heâd nodded as well, confirming your words. in no way ashamed to admit he missed you more than the spaniard, while it didnât seem like there was any truth to his words with the playful smile on his face; the assumption couldnât be any closer to the truth.
âif you miss her so much you should go out for dinner just the pair of you,â carlos challenged quickly; earning an eye roll from yourself and a small giggle at the idea â oh the shit show that would be, you and lando out for dinner. you could read the headlines now.
lando caught the way you laughed, you however missed the way his eyes snapped to you in the moment. the way his smile faltered, merely from watching you completely dismiss and laugh at the idea of spending just a single dinner with him alone. whatâs so funny about that? could it really be the most absurd idea? no matter how many times you reacted in such a way it always stung.
he recovered almost instantly however, like he always does.
âwouldnât want to hurt your feelings, know you donât like to be left out.â lando mused; earning another laugh from you â one that was music to his ears, hearing you laugh at his jokes was always enough to have him holding his chin a little higher.
âoh iâd be more than happy to see you finally get out of the friend zone.â carlos regretted his words the moment they left his mouth, catching the way landoâs smile fell and jaw tensed â quickly realising his teasing may have gone too far.
your lack of reaction killed lando more than carlosâ words did, the way you barely battered an eyelash â completely unbothered while he sat here trying to not pop a blood vessel. he wanted to defend the relationship or friendship you had, but there wasnât much to defend.
because carlos was right, he was painfully stuck in the friend zone.
âhow much longer till you realise these jokes got old two years ago?â you sounded awfully unbothered as your gaze remained on your menu, only looking up when another engineer spoke up.
âitâs just a joke?â heâd asked in full seriousness, eyes flickering between yourself and lando. he wasnât on carlosâ side of the garage, always working on landoâs side. he barely interacted with you; only heard things through the grapevine.
âobviously.â you spoke as if it wasâŚobvious, and the laugh you let out wouldâve softened the blow of your words had lando not already heard this a thousand times.
âah, ah, ah. donât forget about silverstone.â carlos simply couldnât keep his mouth shut; bringing up the night where everyone was convinced you and lando spent the night together.
which would be valid if you actually had, but you hadnât. you went home together purely because you both were tired. he dropped you at your hotel room, didnât even come inside. somehow no one believed either of you when you squashed their suspicions that âlandoâs wish had finally come true.â
âdonât be ridiculous.â you scoffed, shaking your head ever so slightly. landoâs silence wouldâve been deafening if others werenât jumping in to speak, and maybe you wouldâve noticed his lack of input if you spared him a glance.
he was managing to muster a fake smile, it was almost painful. any amusement he was clinging too had vanished, wanting the conversation to be over with.
âitâs not ridiculous.â carlos huffed; and lando almost wanted to nod in agreement. thank him even. because it wasnât ridiculous, he didnât think so at least. it made sense to him. you made so much sense to him.
âit is.â the nail in the coffin, lando couldnât keep smiling anymore. you sounded oh so certain, all the while the smile hadnât left your face. âcome on now,â you added in exaggeration at carlosâ unconvinced face.
lando wasnât sure what you said next, he didnât want to hear it. he couldnât figure out why hearing all of this was suddenly unbearable, but before he knew it he was not so subtlety excusing himself â something about getting another drink, before standing up and bee lining to the bar.
the abrupt departure didnât halt anyone elseâs movements, conversations continuing and carlos joining in a debate with his cousin and his old mclaren press officer; while your attention got stuck on landoâs full glass ahead of you.
he didnât need another drink.
you watched as he weaved through the crowds, the way he failed to smile at anyone he passed by; the tension clear in his jaw; it almost appeared as if he was scowling.
it was funny, because your first thought was if you offended him. but you couldnât figure out what possibly could have; it was laughable how unaware you were of his feelings.
âiâll be back,â you excused yourself, standing up and following in landoâs directions without any hesitance; a slight frown on your face as you dodged people left and right to get to the bar.
you werenât sure why the prospect of upsetting him upset you so much, but the sudden urgency to check on him was too powerful to ignore.
ârude to not offer a girl a drink you know?â
landoâs eyes only shifted towards you for a mere couple of seconds when you made your presence known. he could count on one hand the amount of times he wished to be alone when you were near, but this was one of them.
he was drained, unable to fake any more smiles or shrug off any more comments. blame it on the jet lag.
âapologises,â he hummed; not offering you another glance which had your suspicions confirmed, your furrowed brow showing concern not that he could see. his blue eyes were focused ahead on the busy bartender.
âyou good?â you internally cringed as the words left your lips, unable to figure out a way to address the sudden mood without sounding overbearing or overstepping.
you watched as his shoulders tensed; as his eyes strategically continued to avoid you, only making the pit in your stomach feel deeper, as if it could swallow you whole.
âpeachy.â his sarcasm was clear, and while it would usually be a relief it wasnât laced with the usual humour. it was blunt, dismissive â and if you had any doubts left about being the reason for him running off, they were now squashed.
âdid i say somethingâ did carlos say something?â the questions stumbled out of your lips in concern, biting down on the inside of your cheek. âiâve tried to tell him to lay off with the jokes, itâs stupid i know.â you began to ramble.
lando finally let his gaze land on you, and the sight of your sympathetic eyes and worried frown had him feeling guilty. which was ridiculous, but suddenly he felt an urge to reassure you he was fine. that you hadnât said anything.
but you had.
âitâs not the jokes,â lando cut you off; hands running over his head, even letting out a laugh at how pathetic he sounded. he was going to continue, explain it further; but he stopped himself.
he couldnât. it was a can of worms that must remain shut.
you stood in silence for a moment, under the impression heâd keep speaking. but he didnât. leaving you with no explanation; just further confusion.
âno?â you hummed; eyebrows raising. âbecause i totally get if it is. itâs ridiculous how they keep going onââ you were rambling again, trying to make the situation better. attempting to ensure he felt heard, that he could speak to you about what was bothering him.
so oblivious to the fact you were just digging yourself a deeper hole.
there was that word again; ridiculous.
âis it? is it really that ridiculous?â lando couldnât stop the question from flying out of his mouth; only now turning to properly face you; in time to catch the dumbfounded look on your face from his question.
it took a few moments to try understand what he meant, coming up short as you stared at him clueless, lips parting to try come up with something to say but falling short.
âis what?â you mumbled, suddenly all confidence was gone. almost scared to hear the answer; purely because you recognised the doubt and regret illustrating his face.
but lando had nothing else to lose, youâve rejected him in front of everyone else without realising. whatâs once more?
âus. dinner us two, having gone home together in silverstone. this?â lando sighed out like it was obvious, hands waving between the pair of you.
because to him it was so obvious. the amount of times heâs almost asked you to join him for a meal, just the pair of you.
maybe if he had youâd see what he saw.
silverstone meant so much to him, having expected nothing from you but he thought about the taxi ride back to the hotel more than heâd like to admit. he couldâve sworn youâd been flirting with him that night.
he even thought it wouldâve been the start of something.
optimism was a curse however, because stupidly lando thought perhaps after finally expressing his feelings that maybe youâd reveal your hidden reciprocation. that maybe you were scared like him.
but instead all he could see was shock. and confusion. and fuck, was that sympathy?
âwhat?â it was a weak response, but all you could muster. you were attempting to find any other explanation for his words, to figure out what he could be implying.
lando had to laugh, shaking his head as he faced the bar again; hands running over his face as you quickly realised he was being fully serious.
âitâs notâ weâve neverâ i mean it would be weird.â word vomit, you didnât know what you were saying; usually so careful with your words you knew the moment lando looked at you in shock and offence youâd be haunted by that very sentence. ânot weirdâ but,â you attempted to fix your mistake, eyes screwing shut.
another laugh from him beat you to it however.
âridiculous. i got it,â lando spoke through a breath, sounding incredibly defeated which had your stomach dropping.
you struggled to find words to assure him, still attempting to process what heâd just told you. you hadnât ever looked at him in that way. he was always just⌠lando.
âlandoâŚâ you trailed off with a frown, only now starting to realise the position you both were now in.
the awkward tension was growing quickly and youâd never despised something so quickly. you refused to let this be the bitter end to your friendship.
âitâs fine. just drop it.â lando huffed, standing up straight; eyes finding yours once more. he didnât want you to feel bad, heâd accepted long ago that his chances of you feeling the same were slim.
you canât apologise for how you feel.
âno we should talk about it,â you disagreed, so much concern and care in your eyes it almost made him sick. he didnât need that from you. and the last thing he wanted to do was talk about how heâd spent years pining over you.
heâd kept it secret for a reason, to avoid this.
âiâll pass,â lando hummed; the half smile he mustered up did little to comfort you as he licked his bottom lip and glanced around the room. âiâm gonna head up,â he cleared his throat.
youâd gone to express your dismay with such thing, but he was walking off before you could get another word out; left alone at the bar dumbfounded and suddenly in need of a drink.
it would be quite sad to admit that one revelation could change your whole weekend. but it did.
youâve never had trouble sleeping, in fact the jet lag usually knocked you out. yet youâd spent the best of your time in melbourne thinking through every word lando said. looking back on every damn interaction the two of you shared.
you felt like an idiot. because suddenly it made a lot of sense, what you failed to realise in the moment fell together piece by piece.
an insight into his intentions for the effort heâd put into the friendship over the last couple years was eye opening, and while you were unsure as to how you hadnât assumed such thing sooner, you found yourself asking the question how it made you feel.
youâd be lying if you didnât have a few moments of giddiness as you recounted certain times. how he drove you home from pre-season testing one time because you didnât feel well. how he always got you flowers for your birthday.
suddenly your mind was consumed with the thought of lando every waking second. from the moment you entered the paddock on thursday you were looking for him. which didnât make sense considering you had plans to avoid him.
you didnât want to make things worse than they were. but for some reason he was the only thing on your mind, to the point it was becoming an issue as you tried to go about your work.
not once in your career had you been pulled up on anything, so when carlos questioned if you were okay friday afternoon â claiming you had been slacking, you knew you were fucked.
thereâs no way you felt the same. surely not.
you had to stand by what you said. itâd be weird?
he was lando. annoying lando who couldnât grow a speck of facial hair and flinched at the sight of fish.
except saturday, when you finally laid eyes on the driver again, it was cruel slap in the face of reality when you realised that was almost 5 years ago. youâd both changed. lando had changed.
you almost spiralled when you found yourself admiring the driver. had his mclaren top always been so tight around his biceps? had his skin always been so sun kissed? not to mention the way his curls sat atop his head.
you suddenly felt insane. youâd never looked at him in that light, never thought what if. but his confession had you a mess of thoughts, oneâs you had to run away from. causing you to spend the rest of the weekend hidden away in ferrariâs hospitality.
you could only hide for so long, carlos had won â which was enough to get your mind off of the british driver for a whole 4 minutes until they were up on the podium together.
work was your priority however, but you couldnât help but notice just how nicely lando photographs. you only ever focused on carlos, considering he paid your wage. but as you took shots and shots of the pair interacting before and after the podium from afar you couldnât help but note how lando was practically glowing.
your head was a mess, and as you now stood in a random club in melbourne, you had no idea what your next move was.
you couldnât exactly deny going out to celebrate when carlos had won. so your next wish was that lando simply wouldnât be in attendance.
but he was, and your eyes hadnât left him all night.
still having not spoken for days, you couldnât shake the urge to congratulate him. yet for some reason you were scared, you didnât trust yourself. fearing youâd say something youâd regret. which was a foreign feeling. lando was usually the easiest person for you to talk too.
ďżźhowever you could only stand in the corner with a drink as your only company for so long. a sudden wave of confidence washing over you, or more so desperation to stop being so childish, causing you to down your drink before setting off towards the british driver.
it was when you were only a few metres from him that you realised you should probably have a game plan, and if he hadnât locked eyes with you there was a high chance you wouldâve backed out. turned around and walked away.
instead you were left to improvise.
âgood job today,â you smiled widely when you got into ear shot; unable to shake the tightness in your chest, feeling suddenly out of breath as if you had sprinted over here.
lando appeared much more relaxed than he had last time you spoke. which made sense. heâd put it on the podium, why wouldnât he be in a good mood?
âthank you,â the driver grinned, unable to be stumped when he was still running high off adrenaline. plus, he figured you would pretend the other evening never happened. which he would happily take.
your script ended there however. you had no idea what to say. or where to look, since when was eye contact with lando hard?
âimpressive from carlos,â lando managed to fill the silence, and you could feel the relief at the fact heâd saved you from creating an awkward silence.
âyeah, yeah i know. very proud of him. iâll never complain about pain again.â you spoke through a dry laugh; one he mirrored, your lips pursing as you attempted to think of something, anything, to fix the mess you found you guys in.
to apologise for your rudeness? to explain your mindset? to just talk. you needed to talk to him, for your own sanity.
âlook i just wantedââ you finally built the courage up to speak, but were interrupted as a blonde woman slid next to landoâs side, handing him a drink while doing so.
it shouldnât have shut you up so quickly, but it did â eyebrows raising as you attempted to figure out how to respond to the image in front of you. one youâd never seen before actually.
âline was long,â the girl hummed in explanation, and you only just caught landoâs sorry eyes as his attention turned to the girl next to him.
he would be lying if he said he didnât appreciate the lifeline that was the blonde heâd just met 20 minutes ago. he did not need to hear your reasonings as to why you should just remain friends, not tonight.
âiâll um, iâll talk to you later.â there was no way youâd try get your words out again, not when you barely spoke up the first time. yet for some reason, youâd hoped lando had insisted you could speak now.
instead left to watch as he nodded and offered you a small smile; practically sending you off on your way.
embarrassment was the one word to describe how you felt as you made your way to the nearest booth, attempting to hide away and let the darkness swallow you whole.
apart of you felt you should be grateful, maybe being interrupted was a saving grace. god knows what you were about to say, you definitely didnât. but right now you found yourself in the same position as you were 5 minutes ago.
it felt selfish. lando had practically admitted to having feelings for you, thatâs what you gathered at least, and youâd been unaware for years.
youâd been slightly uncertain in your feelings for five days and you felt as if you were losing your mind. you had no right for an explanation really, but you needed something. attempting to decipher everything to do with the main man of mclaren was giving you a headache.
although your vision became a bit clearer as you sat and watched him interact with the girl whoâd placed the drink in his hands.
it suddenly made sense why you hadnât seen him like this before. his attention was always on you, his efforts and time focused towards you if you were in arms reach.
which you couldnât help but feel grateful for as you sat and watched your new personal hell.
you didnât want to label it as jealousy. because that would be ridiculous, but it was beginning to be hard to watch the way lando whispered in her ear and grinned widely as he earned a laugh or two from the girl.
were you mad at the sight or mad at your own reaction? you werenât sure. it felt wrong, to feel so strongly when only a few days ago youâd laughed in his face about the prospect of being with him.
what was it they said about you only want what you canât have?
âit should be illegal for you to be sitting here moping after iâve won.â carlosâ voice snapped you from your thoughts, being met with the driver who slid into the booth opposite you, a sheepish smile forming on your features.
âiâm not moping.â you huffed, leaning back in your seat â attempting to look and feel relaxed, allow your tense shoulders to loosen, glancing back to lando once more before your attention was on the driver ahead of you.
âyou have been all week.â carlos disagreed, eyebrow raising as you frowned; not having a reply because he was right. and suddenly you felt horrible.
âiâm sorryâ thatâs the last thing you need with the couple weeks youâve had,â you sighed, head falling into your hands. it was as if you suddenly couldnât do anything right.
you missed the way carlos smiled, having looked at the direct reason of your problems moments prior.
âdonât apologise.â carlos dismissed, assuring you it was fine; and when you peaked up through your hands, the smile he was flashing you was enough to put your mind at ease. âiâm assuming lando said something.â
there it was. lando. again. back in your head. as if you ever got him out.
you only sighed, head falling back this time as you now stared at the ceiling. of course carlos knew.
âyou knew?â you huffed out, it clear you already knew the answer.
âeveryone does.â carlos chuckled, and you wish you too could take amusement from the situation. how comforting, this whole time youâve either appeared as an idiot or the biggest bitch.
âwhy wouldnât you tell me?â you practically whined, looking back at the driver once more; watching as he put his hands up in defence and innocence.
âi thought you knew.â carlos claimed, sounding so honest you couldnât question him â nor blame him. you shouldnât have needed someone to spell it out for you. plus, youâre not sure what you wouldâve done if you did know.
because it wasnât like you were handling the current situation very well.
you had no answer, just left him to watch as you sat wallowing in self pity. you shouldâve never chased him to the bar.
âheâll be fine. look at him, moving on already,â carlos attempt to comfort you was more like a punch to the stomach â because you had to stop yourself from glaring at him. had to stop yourself from spitting out how that wasnât what you wanted.
you didnât want that at all, and that thought was suffocating. you were in no place to come to terms with your feelings, but right now they seemed to be demanding to make themselves known.
âi need air.â you huffed as you stood up, thankful that you had taken notice of the smokers exit not too far from you.
the crisp air felt like a soothing blanket, hitting your skin the moment you got outside. the balcony was empty and finally you felt as if you could breathe; allowing your arms to rest against the railing as the music became muffled and the sound of melbourneâs night life filled your ears.
it felt stupid, staring across the city skyline as if it would answer your questions. maybe the stars could align and write out a solution for you, tell you what to do.
but with every passing second you didnât find any clarity or idea on what to do, how to feel. you shouldnât want him. you havenât wanted him before. it isnât fair to suddenly feel so drawn to him after unknowingly rejecting him for so long.
but it was the reality. youâd been exposed to the idea of lando wanting you; and with every passing moment it became clear to you it wasnât weird. it sounded fucking incredible.
the music suddenly filled your ears again, moments later becoming muffled as you became aware someone had joined you outside. it wasnât till they spoke that you tensed up.
âitâs cold out here,â his voice was instantly recognisable, you didnât need to look at him to know it was him.
âtoo hot in there.â you hummed simply in reply, feeling his presence next to you as he joined you in observing the city skyline; although you could feel his eyes burning into the side of your head.
falling into a comfortable silence was the last thing you expected, both too scared to speak up and face the inevitable. if you could stay like this forever you would. it was the first few moments of peace youâd known all week.
âwe can pretend the other night never happened. i donât want things to be weird.â lando spoke, words so soft as if youâd break. as if he needed to be careful with you.
his whole demeanour had you frowning, turning to face him. he shouldnât be fixing this mess, nor prioritising your feelings over his. not when both of you had neglected his for so long.
you parted your lips to disagree, to tell him that was the last thing you wanted. you wanted to talk about it. itâs all you needed to do.
but quickly you realised that was contradicting your initial thoughts.
âif thatâs what you want,â you spoke through a breath; unable to understand how you still couldnât find the right thing to say when this very conversation has been the only thing on your mind all week.
it was landoâs turn to stay quiet, you watched as he thought through what to say; practically seeing his mind tick.
âi just want to know why itâs so ridiculous to you.â lando practically blurted the question out, as if he was almost afraid he wouldnât say it ever if he didnât now. itâd been weighing on his mind, it killed him that he had no explanation as to why you were so against the idea of him in anyway that branched further than platonic.
and while you wanted to give him an answer, you didnât have one.
âi donât know.â you answered truthfully. âi never looked at you that way lando iâŚâ you trailed off, eyes getting lost in his when you realised just how close he was. your admiration these past couple days from afar was one thing; but up close was a whole new ball park. âyou were like this little kid, i donât know,â you struggled to articulate your thoughts.
âyeah five years ago,â landoâs response was quick and blunt; even with the chuckle that escaped under his breath, it didnât lessen the intensity in his eyes that were now pouring into yours. it was as if heâd been wanting to say such thing for years. he was challenging you.
youâd gulped at his words, because he was right and youâd only come to terms with such thing these past few days.
âyeah.â you mumbled in agreement, suddenly feeling small under his gaze; it was all so new. youâd been in this position with lando countless of times, why did you suddenly feel as if every nerve inside of you was being set alight? why did you feel as if you couldnât dare look away from his eyes.
you could spot the moment lando realised the change in your behaviour, the way his eyes flickered across your face; his lips parting ever so slightly as he took a breath.
he recognised the look on your face, purely because itâs how he would always look at you.
âit fucking sucked you know? having to sit there while you laugh at the idea of spending the night with me. even just going on a date with me.â lando hummed, voice barely above the whisper because with the minimal distance he didnât need to speak any louder. although if he spoke any quieter youâd be worried you wouldnât hear him over the sound of your rapid heartbeat.
you didnât know what to say, head tilting aside ever so slightly as you watched him take a step closer; dangerously close now yet for some reason you found yourself leaning further towards his frame â and the moment you let your eyes flicker to his lips you knew you were done for.
âmâ sorry,â you mumbled; eyes pouring into his once more as if that would ensure he knew you meant it, but he didnât want nor need an apology. but god would he love an opportunity to change your mind.
it was as if you could act without thinking again the moment his hand cupped your cheek, lips pressed onto yours in a rush that had your hand moving to find a grip in his shirt.
you didnât know how to describe it, but suddenly everything made sense as your lips moved together in perfect sync.
the moment almost came crumbling down however when lando pulled away only a few moments later, heavy breaths as his hand remained on your cheek; eyes looking down at you as if you were gods greatest gift to earth.
but as much as this felt like heaven, lando knew he couldnât risk this just being a one time thing. he refused to get a taste of you just to be starved again.
âif you donâtââ lando barely got his words out, you had him read; could see the doubt beginning to creep in. as much as he hated being vulnerable it was almost self perseveration.
thankfully however you didnât give him much time to worry, shaking your head before tugging him closer to you â reconnecting your lips with such certainty lando had no room to fear or doubt you.
it was all he needed, the lid was off and he finally could act on his wants â hands moving to grip your waist as he trapped you between himself and the railing, lips moving against yours without a care in the world that anyone could walk out and see.
it was as if the kiss was the answer to all your questions, suddenly it all made sense. lando made sense; you felt stupid, how had you denied yourself of such thing for so long?
your hands were tangled in his hair, his were clutching your sides for dear life â large hands pawing at your waist then your hips, having to stop himself from getting too greedy and travelling any further.
so caught up in him you quickly realised you needed to breathe, pulling away momentarily; yet you had no time to recover as lando only busied himself with peppering kisses on your jaw.
naturally you tilted your head back, a sigh of content escaping you as you invited him to explore more of you. and lando was not going to ignore such thing, soft kisses now pressed to the skin of your neck.
suddenly you were incredibly aware of the closeness, the way his body was pressed against yours; the cold railing behind you doing little to cool your hot skin; his knee pressing between your thighs having your eyes fluttering shut.
heaven was the only way to describe it.
but really you were on the smokers balcony of a crowded melbourne club, a reality that hit the pair of you as the door swung open and laughter and chatter was suddenly heard.
your eyes flickered to the group who appeared, lando regrettably lifting his head and glancing over his shoulder. the group was unbothered by your presence, you werenât sure the pair of you were even noticed.
landoâs grip had tightened on your waist ever so slightly, as if you could slip away from him like the moment had.
âwe should get out of here,â you spoke through heavy breaths as your eyes met his, watching as his lit up with both relief and eagerness. he only nodded, taking a step backwards as his hands ran over his now crinkled shirt.
the pair of you may had gotten yourselves together in those few seconds, but as you worked your way through the crowded club towards the exit, it was quite clear what had occurred.
the elevator ride only caused swollen lips and messy hair, and you struggled to keep your hands off of him once in the back of a taxi â kissing him was addictive, thatâs the only thing you could think of right now.
the silence wasnât awkward as you stumbled into his hotel room; only the sounds of quiet laughter as he struggled to find his room key. small curses escaping his mouth as he failed to move in the urgency he was currently feeling.
it was messy the way you both discarded your shoes and belongings, a few words and mumbles exchanged before he was tugging you into his chest again â lips once more reconnected.
the space allowed you to wrap your arms around his neck this time, body practically melting into his hold. you wanted to apologise again, explain your thoughts over the last few days, how your change of heart had occurred.
you werenât even sure it was a change of heart; more so just now thinking about new possibilities.
but lando seemed to be the thing that could put those thoughts at bay, finally your mind was silent â all senses consumed with the man in front of you.
you werenât sure which wall heâd backed you against but you didnât care; welcoming the familiar feeling of his lips on your neck once more â taking the few seconds of your brain not being foggy to tug on the end of his shirt before trying to push it up his body.
he got the memo, ridding himself of his shirt and you could feel your breath get caught in your throat at the sight of his toned torso.
âwhat do you want?â landoâs question was matched with an intensity that almost had you squirming, his knee pushing between your thighs once more as you peered up at him.
you were suddenly lost for words, unsure how to vocalise what you wanted.
him. just him. anything he had to offer.
the feeling of his finger running up the side of your leg gave you plenty of ideas; but you were too flustered to articulate such thing.
the sight of you dumbfounded had him letting out a breathy chuckle, eyebrows raising in expectance â yet somehow it just had you squeezing your legs together.
âanything.â you mumbled, cheeks a tint of pink as he only smirked at your answer; you hadnât realised how desperate you sounded. you werenât sure youâve ever sounded so needy.
âgotta be more specific pretty,â his grin told you he was revelling in your flustered state. how could he not? his mind was running wild with plans to have you a needy mess all for him.
the term of endearment was new, a boundary that had never been crossed in your friendship; yet it sounded so natural. what wasnât natural was the way your heart seemed to flutter at the compliment.
âwant me to touch you?â lando was almost mocking you as his hand moved to push your hair back out of your face, cupping the side of your head while doing so to ensure your eyes stayed trained on him â and the mere act had you falling further into submission.
it was pathetic, you were somehow able to identify such thing â standing here with parted lips and wide eyes, having nodded at his words almost too eagerly. you needed to control yourself, at least for now; heâd barely touched you yet.
âwhat do you want?â your words were no where near as confident as his, but you werenât complaining; the confidence suited him, it only had you wanting him more.
you watched as his shoulders lifted in a slight shrug, attempting to keep your mind off his finger that was dangerously close to the hem of your skirt.
âwant to ruin you so youâll only ever think of me if another man touches you.â lando was honest with his answer, you hadnât expected such words to escape his mouth. such bluntness, what sounded like a promise had your knees feeling weak â the idea sounding perfect to you.
but he wasnât finished.
âwant you to cum on my fingers.â he added quietly, your legs spreading ever so slightly as his hand finally ventured under your skirt. âthen my tongue,â he practically chimed; head ducking down to your neck now, his hot breath fanning your skin.
thinking was only getting harder, his words were turning your mind into a puddle, much like the state of your undergarments.
âthen my cock.â he concluded before paying extra attention to the skin on your neck, kissing intently as you let out a shaky breath.
attempting to process such words from him was difficult, but you were quick to figure out it sounded incredible to you.
âhm?â his hum was a taunt, head lifting to look at you once more, watching as you nodded quickly.
âplease,â you practically whimpered, god youâd get on your knees and beg. lando almost groaned from the word leaving your lips alone, the way you were looking up at him with doe eyes had a grin forming on his face, one you mirrored for a brief moment.
the man couldnât believe his eyes, a sight heâd dream of too many times was in front of him in the flesh and he wanted nothing more but to make sure you too would never forget these moments.
his lips returning to yours almost had you failing to notice the way his hand slipped under your skirt, finding your soaked panties with ease. he groaned into your mouth as he realised how wet you were, your only reply a slight tug on his curls.
light and teasing touches were only tolerable for so long, you could deal with his fingers dancing around your clothed folds while his lips stayed on yours â but when he pulled away your breaths became irregular, clinging to every ounce of patience you had.
you were about to whine when his hand pushed your panties to the side, slipping a digit inside of you without warning was enough to have you choking out a moan â hand flying to grip his bicep to ensure your legs wouldnât give out on you.
lando was watching you as if you were gods gift to the earth, thumb settling on your clit naturally that within seconds of him getting to work your eyes were fluttering shut â head falling back against the wall.
âyouâre soaked baby,â his words were barely audible; too in awe of you, but you still managed to catch them as you nodded ever so slightly.
âfor you,â you breathed out â not that it needed clarifying, but the reassurance had the driver smirking proudly, even rewarding you as suddenly a second finger slipped inside of you.
for him. lando would never had thought that would ever be possible. if he wasnât so focused on getting you off heâd be replaying those words in his mind again, and again.
suddenly it was becoming hard to keep quiet, strings of moans and whimpers escaping you in succession, causing landoâs pants to feel incredibly tight. but that was the last thing on his mind, holding you against the wall with the only goal of having you come undone in his grasp.
his name sounded heavenly as you moaned it, so much so lando thought no one else should ever speak it again â nothing would compare to that.
âlook at me.â landoâs demand was so calm you almost missed it, eyes still fluttered shut as your thighs squeezed around his hand. despite hearing him you couldnât act, control of your body slipping away ever so quickly with the way his thumb was circling your sensitive bud.
landoâs breathy laugh wasnât enough to capture your attention either, his touch was all your mind could focus on. so it was when his free large hand trailed up your body to wrap around your neck that your eyes fluttered open.
his eyes were inquisitive, clearly attempting to gage a reaction to the action which had your lips parting despite having no pressure applied. however it was the way you clenched around his fingers that told him enough.
the slight squeeze of your neck was enough to draw a moan out of you, and lando could only hum in content. you were fucking perfect.
it was quickly becoming overwhelming, pleasure suddenly building so quickly â eyes pouring into his as you struggled to form words.
âclose,â was all you managed out; landoâs nod was in sync with his curled fingers â your nails digging into his skin as he brushed the spot that had your legs almost giving out.
you were holding onto him for dear life, moans growing louder and whinier as your vision started to become starry despite having your eyes open.
âlet go baby,â his words were enough to push you over the edge, releasing onto his fingers as you practically panted his name like it was a prayer.
lando had concluded a long time ago that he couldnât fall for you more than he already had; but as he watched you come undone, he realised heâd been wrong. your beauty truly knew no ends â and he was only now more eager to watch your face contort in pleasure again and again.
admiration filled your own eyes as they opened once more to peer up at him, flushed cheeks and a sheepish smile spreading on your face as you attempted to catch your breath.
âyouâre incredible,â lando couldnât stop the praise from escaping him, and watching the way your smile grew had him feeling no regret either; no shame like he usually would when a compliment perhaps too sentimental slipped passed his guard.
however this time it was reciprocated, you could see the meaning behind it â not dismissing it as a friendly comment, instead it had your already flushed cheeks reddening further.
âyou are.â you spoke like it was obvious, even letting out a small giggle â sounding somewhat out of breath but such thing was granted. your arms moved to wrap around his neck again, both to ensure he stayed close and because your only strength was in your arms.
your legs already felt like jelly.
heâd read the situation with ease, because suddenly his hands were hooked under your thighs â halting you up as your legs instinctively wrapped around his torso.
your skirt was bunched at your hips, ruined panties almost shameful. your hands spread out against his toned back, unable to help yourself from feeling as much of his flexed muscles as possible.
messy kisses were exchanged as he moved you through the hotel room, lips lazily moving against each other before your back was hitting his plush mattress.
the sight above you rendered you speechless, no shame in your eyes raking over his frame as he stood at the foot of the bed â you quickly felt overdressed.
your own hands found the hem of your shirt, peeling it off your body, no bra meaning your upper body was exposed to the brit.
you could visibly see him gulp, his eyes dancing over your half naked frame as he took a few deep breaths; tongue flicking over his bottom lip. the man even shook his head in disbelief, unable to help himself when you invitingly leant back on your elbows.
he was on top of you within moments, situating between your spread legs as his head found the exposed skin of your chest, open mouth kisses pressed to your neck, slowly making their way to your breasts.
âyouâre fucking beautiful.â heâd practically grumbled, your fingers finding his curls once more you could only whimper as his teeth tugged on your skin momentarily.
âwant to make you feel good,â you whispered, unable to ignore his hard on pressing into your hip â the feeling had you squirming, keen to feel more of him.
heâd shushed you however, not being derailed as his kisses moved to your stomach now, your head hitting the pillow as you tried to control your breathing â left to stare up at the ceiling momentarily.
âi feel amazing,â lando spoke matter of factly, his hands spreading over your thighs as he parted them to his liking â your eyes flickering down, not expecting to meet his blue ones.
he looked like he was ready to devour you, it made your core practically ache â offered no relief as your legs could only squeeze against his hold.
he was quick in removing your skirt, and your panties â having you bare for him before he was hooking your legs over his shoulders. but his urgency seemed to still there, kisses pressed to your inner thighs instead of your glistening cunt.
âlando,â youâd whined, using all your strength to ensure you could keep your eyes on him, a pretty sight that was rendering you impatient. âplease,â the plea left you in desperation.
you could still feel his breath on your thighs, not where you needed him, and when you heard him chuckle lowly your eyes had to press shut to keep your composure.
âoh baby,â he dragged out; cooing so sweetly your eyes narrowed when they met his again. âneedy little thing,â he commented; quirking an eyebrow your way and you couldnât argue, only pout.
he wasnât wrong, much to your surprise. youâd never found yourself in such position, needing and craving someone so badly. depending on someone else for pleasure was practically foreign.
ânot gonna make you beg,â lando ended your torture, if you could even call it that, mouth connecting with your cunt and your jaw dropped as his tongue quickly found your clit.
you were already sensitive, back arching immediately as you moaned out softly â hands flying to find his curls again.
pure ecstasy was the only way to describe the feeling, his tongue working so perfectly that you were fighting to not press your thighs against his head â body moving with every action, his hand moving to press down on your hips and keep you in place.
your eyes caught his own for a mere few moments, seeing him look up at you however had your own eyes rolling back; too sensitive to stay cool with the onslaught of pleasure.
he was everywhere, consuming every one of your senses â tugging on his curls your only outlet as you moaned and shook.
you werenât ever sure youâd be able to cum from head alone, but you were about to find out â pathetically close already, stomach tightening having barely recovered from your first orgasm.
you forced yourself to gaze down at him again, wanting to see his head between your thighs â watch the way his arms flexed as he held you in place with ease.
his tongue was flicking between your folds, then paying attention to your clit; never missing a beat, it flood over you suddenly.
you could no longer hear the sounds you were making as you came again, back arching off the bed once more â seeing stars, lando sure to catch the sight as you came undone for him again.
it was a blur the next few moments, not present as lando shifted your legs off of his shoulders and back onto his knees, but once you realised the sight in front of you it didnât take long for you to push yourself up the bed so you were sitting up.
âyou good?â landoâs voice was soft now, ensuring you were okay; not oblivious to your tired body. you nodded however, a lazy smile spreading on your lips in reassurance, hooded eyes taking him all in. you just wanted to feel all of him.
âperfect,â you breathed, leaning forward to connect your lips without another word. it was greedy, a few moments of no contact and you were drawn to him again. you just wanted more and more, and the way landoâs hands flied to your waist showed it was truly reciprocated.
you pushed him slightly to sit down, switching positions so he was resting against the headboard now â it didnât take much force, he was letting you guide him, hands delicately roaming your fatigued frame.
climbing into his lap your hands made quick work of his pants, unzipping them and moving all material out of the way to finally free his hardened cock.
lando moaned into your mouth the moment your hand wrapped around his length, pumping a few times was the relief heâd been ignoring since you entered the hotel room.
he struggled to kiss back for a mere moment, causing your eyes to flutter open, lips curving upwards at the sight of his face contorted in pleasure.
fuck you could get used to that image.
âcome on baby,â lando rasped out as his hands found a home on your hips â guiding them upwards ever so slightly. âfuck yourself on my cock yeah?â there was a slight smugness in his tone; the type that had you falling into submission once more, despite him vocalising your plans.
your arms moved to hold onto his shoulders, enough to help steady you as you guided your hips on top of his, lowering yourself down onto his cock.
the pair of you gasped in sync, your forehead resting against his as you took him all in at once, jaw going slack from the stretch.
you stilled, needing time to adjust to his size â and lando had no complaints, the feeling of you wrapped around him having him content.
âyou feel fucking incredible,â the driver rasped, lips brushing against yours as he spoke; and you could only whimper at first, a few deep breaths escaping you.
âso big,â you mumbled; having to swallow intently before mustering the energy to begin moving â eyes pouring into his as you began to ride him.
the closeness and intimacy would usually scare you; heck, it would normally terrify him. yet somehow it felt right, as if this wasnât the first time between the pair of you.
your nails dug into his skin once more as you shifted up and down, landoâs hands only on your skin to ensure he had a hold on you â letting you set the pace as he watched, jaw tense and eyes adoring.
âfuck lando,â you whined when heâd bottom out once more, hitting a spot so deep inside of you that your toes were curling â the sound of his own grunts and moans only adding to the pleasure.
âdoing so good for me gorgeous,â his praise only encouraged you, words so delicate. you sped up as much as you could, not too fast but with more urgency than before; as much as your sore body would allow.
it wasnât long before you started to tire, your moans grew whinier but you didnât need to say anything â a choked moan escaping your throat when his hips suddenly thrusted up to meet your movements.
you hadnât thought you could feel more full but you were wrong, and lando didnât relent as he started fucking up into you.
you were like a doll in his hands, as he started to practically move you up and down his cock; his own hips continuing to thrust up you couldnât keep up, eyes screwing shut as your mouth fell agape.
âfuck lando fuck,â you were practically chanting; a string of curses and his name; it all felt too good. fucking perfect, you couldnât comprehend any of it.
âtake it baby.â he grunted, and you nodded so quickly as if youâd ever disappoint him, fingers reaching to his back and nails dragging across the skin â his thrusts harsh, not slow but not too quick that you wouldnât have time to feel every inch of him.
your head was thrown back, exposing your bare chest further to him â which lando made the most of for the time being, lips ducking down and attaching to one of your nipples for a few moments.
but as your sounds got louder he needed to be able to see your face clearly, hand moving up your back and tangling in your hair to force you to look at him.
âopen your eyes princess,â he practically demanded, and at this point youâd do anything he said without question; eyes fluttering open to look at him.
his stamina was impressive, not surprising, still bouncing you on his cock as if it was nothing â but the way his breaths got shaky and his hooded eyes revealed he was feeling the pleasure like you were.
âwhoâs making you feel this good?â landoâs question escaped him without much thought; he just needed to hear you say it. wanted to revel in the fact he had you in such a state. your praise and reassurance held such a high value to him.
âyou, lando, you,â you whined out in response â and you felt his hand move back to your hip, needing to use your own strength now to keep your head upright. âfeels so good,â you told him â squeezing him as you did so.
heâd groaned at the feeling, almost having cum on the spot; thankfully he didnât, because he needed to see you fall apart one more time.
âwant to cum again yeah? that you want?â his mouth seemed to know no ends, the taunting only making your stomach grow tighter as you nodded to the best of your ability.
his breaths were heavy now, hands travelling to your ass as he used that as his grip of your body instead.
âwanna hear you say it,â lando grumbled â head ducking into the exposed skin of your neck, more kisses pressed onto your skin and the thought of marks being there from the amount of attention heâd paid to it was the last thing on either of your minds.
you were struggling now, too fucked out to process his words as quickly as heâd like â so much so a harsher thrust upwards had you aware you needed to answer him, yet you already forgot what he said.
âtoo fucked out to form words baby?â lando teased now that he knew he had your attention; and he chuckled once more when you shook your head quickly. âwant to hear you say it.â he repeated, eyes piercing yours.
âwannaâ cum again,â your words were laced with desperation, needing to take a breath between sentences as his cock spread you open. âplease let me cum,â
the british driverâs hum of satisfaction turned into a moan of pleasure at your plea, sounding and looking so pretty for him, it was clear youâd done enough as you felt his hand snake down between your bodies to your clit.
your vision went white practically immediately, almost yelping from how sensitive you were; thrown over the edge with little warm as you came on his dick â practically screaming his name as you did so.
lando came inside you merely a few seconds later, jaw slack from the sight of you and the way your walls squeezed him once more â only now was his thrusts sloppy as you both rode out your highs.
you were practically limp in his lap, forehead pressed against his shoulder as his own head rested against the headboard; heavy and irregular breaths filling the silence.
his hand moved to your head, fingers running through the strands of your hair comfortingly, the action causing you to hum in appreciation.
both of you were content with the silence, purely because neither of you knew exactly what to say. what to do. this was unexpected, to say the least.
you sat up straight after a couple minutes however, eyes meeting his ones; noticing the lack of intensity and confidence they held prior.
he was studying you as well, attempting to not spiral into a âwhat now.â
this meant a lot to him, he wouldnât put that on you â that wouldnât be fair. but you already had a good idea.
âi was wrong.â you finally managed to say what had been on the tip of your tongue, offering a small smile as his eyebrows raised in question.
he didnât fully understand.
âabout this. us. not making sense. being ridiculous.â you clarified, and the realisation washed over his features. you could feel him tense up slightly beneath you â shaking his head quickly.
âwe donât have to talk about it right now,â he assured in certainty. he didnât want you to feel obligated to protect his feelings because you slept together.
which you appreciated, it was cute. he was thoughtful â which shouldnât be a surprise.
âiâm not promising anything,â you clarified, dismissing him this time; you didnât feel obligated at all. you werenât saying youâd be his girlfriend and expected flowers when you woke up, but you needed him to know you no longer stood by what you said. you were also relieved to be able to articulate your thoughts. âbut i was wrong.â you hummed.
a lazy smile spread on his features at that, acting like a catalyst for your own. a mumble of an okay and laughter was exchanged, before his lips were on yours again; a gentle kiss this time.
one you could certainly get used too.
ââ
a/n: 615 days later and iâve finally finished another fic. hope yâall r still there đđ
incredibly sorry for my inactivity and special shout out to everyone who has continued to support me despite the radio silence??? i love u
anyways i donât love this but the fact i had the motivation to see it through was enough. hoping itâll ease me back into writing and getting back up to standard, so apologises that itâs a little rusty đŤśđźđŤśđź
what hasnât changed is that itâs currently unedited and the ending is rushed hehe
as always feedback is always very much appreciated love u all mwahhh xoxo
[ part two / masterlist / requests are open ]
â˝ď˝Ąâ being in a relationship with a formula 1 driver like lando was hard, but not impossible. right? a story based on THE GREATEST by billie eilish. â lando norris x fem!reader
áśť đ đ° angst! pure angst, swearing. iâll write a part 2 if requested đ 4.4k words
â Iâm trying my best to keep you satisfied â
Loving a formula 1 driver, let alone being in a relationship with one, wasnât easy. But that didnât stop you. In fact, you were sure nothing was ever going to be able to get in between the love that Lando and you shared, the kisses and the late night cuddles, the fun family dinners and the celebrations of his milestones. Everything was so perfect.
Yes, sometimes itâs hard to meet his standards, sometimes having you leave your own family to go attend races with him, or the blatant flirting he would still be partaking in at after-race parties, it was definitely a flaw of your relationship, but maybe you shouldâve just worn something prettier or done your makeup in a different way, in the end itâs your fault if his attention wasnât keen on you, right?
But no matter what, you were ready to do it for him. Heâs your main priority, just as he should be. Thatâs what makes a relationship a functioning one, doesnât it?
â Let you get your rest while I stayed up all night â
Of course you werenât always his main priority, but who were you to judge him? Heâs a professional racing driver, itâs not only a job but a complete career, and he wouldnât trade it for anything in this world. Having a world championship under his belt, that was more important than you. You just have to live like that, someone had to put in the work for the relationship. And because it definitely wasnât Lando, it was you. But you didnât mind, youâd do it all over again for him. Because you truly loved him, and to you, there was nothing in this world stronger than love.
So when you both finally get home after a long race weekend, you donât mind doing the cooking and cleaning and laundry for him. You also donât mind him going to sleep while youâre up packing up luggage for him and you to depart for the next GP. You wouldâve appreciated some skin contact after such a busy and nerve wrecking weekend, but if he needed rest, then he should have it. You could rest another time, maybe during the flight or while he was spending time with his friends. You werenât sure why, but Lando always insisted on not having you with him, always making up excuses why you couldnât come even if in reality, you were at âhomeâ trying to get used to the new place youâd have to stay at for the next week. Maybe you wouldâve preferred being with him, or having him with you, or being in your home country with your loved ones he was yet to meet, but thatâs okay. He had his fun with his friends and their girlfriends, thatâs what mattered.
Maybe he didnât want you there because, while he dated a girl heâs known since forever, a girl who knew him before his win and his fame and his career, all the others were dating models and successful women. Maybe you embarrassed him a little bit, so you were understanding when he told you to stay at home. His fans didnât exactly love you either, so actually, it was really thoughtful of him not to have you by his side when he went out, because then his fan base and the news wouldnât be able to pick at every little flaw you had, which you had surprisingly lots of, as the media told you.
The clock read 5am when you finally finished packing up the luggage and went to bed yourself. Well, not the bed but rather the couch, because Lando had just previously told you not to wake him if he was already asleep, and who were you to rip him out of his peaceful slumber when he had so much pressure on him the last three days? It was a little cold, but thatâs okay. It was just kinda difficult to fall asleep on the small, hard, uncomfortable couch.
The clock read 8am when you woke up to prepare breakfast for him and you.
â And you donât wanna know how alone Iâve been â
You knew better than to complain. Of course you felt a little bit alone in the huge apartments while he was away, spending time at the track or in the gym with his friends. How could you not? You were in a country youâve never been in before, a country with no familiar faces or friends or people you could talk to besides the McLaren team and well, your boyfriend. But in the end, Lando showed you the world. And you had to be grateful for that. Even if he basically just pushed you around the world and then picked you up again when it was time to travel farther. And god, how you missed your family. And how deeply you wanted them to meet your one and only love, Lando. It was sickening, the need to be at home again.
One time after a long day of qualifying, you told Lando about your homesickness and that you felt a bit alone on this journey.
He got mad and told you if you wanted, you could just leave. Heâs not keeping you here. 20 minutes after, you were stood in the kitchen making dinner for the two of you. Your response to âAre you actually fucking crying right now?â was a quiet âI was just cutting onions.â
His reply to âI thought we were eating together, I made dinnerâ was âIâm going out to eat with Charles and his girlfriend.â
You felt your heart break in that second, but he was just mad and not thinking straight. Outbursts are okay sometimes.
â Let you come and go, whatever state Iâm in â
You spent the whole evening and night crying, putting his food in the fridge in case he was hungry later. The tears didnât stop until he came back through the door, obviously a bit tipsy. He quickly wrapped his arms around you and told you how sorry he was, telling you that next time, he would take you with him to dinner. You knew it wasnât true, and he knew as well.
At least you felt his touch again, his arms around you and his rough fingers caressing your cheek. That was worth the tears and the unappreciated cooking.
â Man am I the greatest? My congratulations â
Miami GP â24. Landoâs first win in his Formula 1 career. You were the proudest girlfriend in the world and you couldnât wait to celebrate his win with him tomorrow, knowing heâd be busy partying with the others today. Youâre in Miami, after all. And he has just won. Of course he had to celebrate that with his boys, surrounded by beautiful women and loads of alcohol. He would never cheat on you, but you were sure he wouldnât mind being in the presence of some women who were gifted with a prettier face and body than you were. Thatâs okay, at least he doesnât use you for your looks.
As he stood there on the highest step of the podium, smiling like a little kid who had just fulfilled his dreams, smiling like he once had smiled at you, it made you so incredibly happy and emotional and you couldnât wait to finally see him and give him a big celebration kiss.
Once he was back in the paddock he told you to wait until the cameras were gone. You didnât get a hug either. Not until you were back in the apartment.
At last. you got your hug and a kiss. As a goodbye before he left with Max.
â All my love and patience, all my admiration â
The day after, you woke up at 7, waiting for him to wake up while you were already up in the kitchen, baking a small cake with a âoneâ on it, all decorated in orange.
Even if you were left unsatisfied yesterday, that didnât stop you from still feeling eternally proud of him, and proud to be able to call yourself his girlfriend. He was so dedicated to the things he loved, it was a pleasure to watch him go through life with his determination. Racing was his passion, thereâs no shame in sometimes forgetting your girlfriend for it.
He finally entered the kitchen at 12, smiling at the small cake placed upon the dining table. âSurprise!â You said, and he immediately went to hug and kiss you, smiling just as brightly as he did on that podium. Moments like these were a reminder that he did in fact love you, and once again, that itâs all worth it.
â All the times I waited for you to want me naked â
You often wondered how the others managed to keep up their relationships.
Just recently you were having lunch with the other WAGs at a restaurant near the circuit. Originally, you didnât want to come, still feeling insecure about what the media has to say about you, the ugly duckling around the most beautiful women in F1 history. However, they insisted. At the table the girls began talking about the party after Landoâs win, and how proud you mustâve been to see him on that podium. You loved talking about it, until you were asked why you didnât come with him to the party. A lame excuse of âI was just tired and not feeling wellâ made the others look at you weirdly. How could she be so selfish and miss her boyfriendâs afterparty for that? Alex, Charlesâ girlfriend smiled at you with a knowing look, but you pretended not to notice, feeling embarrassed.
The next topic at the table was rather intimate, and you wanted to puke right then and there. Were you really the only one who hasnât been touched in so long, because there just wasnât enough time between all the travelling and racing and exhaustion? Or were you just not good enough? Was it really your looks? Should you change?
You missed it dearly, the intimate times with Lando. The ones where he finally took care of you instead of the other way around, the ones where you could feel the connection between you two with all your senses. Was it your fault that these times stopped? Lando was so perfect, it just couldnât be his fault.
Maybe you just had to wait until he wanted you again.
â Made it all look painless, man, am I the greatest? â
You didnât show your feelings often, not your real ones. The times he had catched you crying for him on you knees were pathetic little situations he shouldnât have seen you in. When asked, you denied. âDo you feel lonely in this relationship?â â âNo.â âDoes he make you cry often?â â âNo.â âDo you think your relationship is slowly breaking apart?â â âNo.â
Talking about it with the women around the paddocks or when youâd facetime your friends from home, you never once said anything bad about Lando. Never once complained about how he treated you or how he ignored your feelings and your endeavors. Not even your closest friends knew what was really going on, or maybe, you just didnât know that yourself. In your mind, this was just a phase where his career just made it impossible for him to focus on you. Someday this would change. Sooner or later, it would change.
For everyone else, you had the greatest, perfect, flawless relationship. And you didnât mind keeping that imagine up. For his sake.
â Doing whatâs right without a reward â
And so it kept going. You making efforts, him abandoning you. No matter what you did for him, no matter how much heart and love you put in for him, it was left unappreciated. But thatâs okay, still. You were in a relationship, your only task was to love him, and you did. Because thatâs the right thing to do in a relationship, and for him, youâd do anything. No matter if he appreciated it or not at the moment, you knew that, eventually, he would.
â And we donât have to fight when itâs not worth fighting for â
At least you hoped that he would change someday, so far he obviously hadnât, and it was slowly getting to you in a more serious manner. In a way that might worry you and the people around you, in a way you wouldnât forget. That one time you prepared dinner for the both of you and he went out with Charles and Alex instead, it was all forgotten in a matter of seconds when he apologized. But now every single interaction he had with other women haunted you, asleep or awake. No apology would help you actually think he would change his current treatment towards you, and as it seemed, he didnât care either.
There was no point in fighting anymore, no point in telling him how you feel whenever he walks out the door, leaving you alone with nothing but your awful thoughts. For fuckâs sake, you left all you had behind to be there for him, and how does he show his gratefulness? He doesnât, because he isnât fucking grateful, and he couldnât care less about you and your dumb feelings. He doesnât care that you want nothing more than to finally be able to introduce him to your family, he doesnât care that you gave up your own career for his, and he doesnât care that while heâs treating you the way he is, all the people who knew the both of you and basically the whole internet was only picking you apart. Never him.
Oh you were such a shitty girlfriend refusing to kiss him in front of the cameras after his first win, but wasnât he the one who pushed you away? And how could you miss the party that night, the party dedicated to your oh soo perfect boyfriend? Do you not care about him enough? Were you not proud? So many girls would trade their life for a day in your shoes, and you just didnât appreciate that? What a disappointment you are to the WAGs, and what a disappointment you must be to Lando.
âLando please, listen to me,â â âNo, Iâm done with your insufferable complaining all the time. I meant it the first time I said it and I mean it now, if you wanna leave, leave.â
â And you donât wanna know what I wouldâve done, anything at all, worse than anyone â
You wouldâve walked through fire for him to love you again. For everything to go back like it once was. When he would brag about you to his friends and even in interview, when he took you to hang out with his friends and to parties, always keeping an arm around your shoulders so other guys wouldnât even dare to look at you, when he was so eager to fulfill not only his, but also your dreams, wether that be a simple one, like him meeting your parents in your childhood home, or the greater ones, like becoming not only a good, but a great graphic designer. When he would watch you draw and perfect yet the smallest details with nothing but the growing admiration for you visible in his eyes. When he would kiss you good night and good morning, when he would ask about your day and passionately tell you about his. Back to when he had loved you. But now it was too late. All the things you had done for him, all the things you would probably still do, in the end, were for nothing more than a broken heart.
The sleepless nights. The nerve wrecking days. The painful parting from your family and friends. The abandonment of the life with him you had so desperately wished for.
It was all for nothing.
â I loved you, and I still do. Just wanted passion from you, just wanted what I gave you â
Last day before the summer break, the last race. And probably, the last day of him and you.
You were done with his shit, the sad look on your face visible to everyone in the room as you sat and watched the race from the McLaren hospitality, his parents seated next to you. Something felt very off, your usual happy and optimistic demeanor completely washed off, replaced by a dark, almost expressionless look. They sensed that something might have happened between Lando and you, but nobody dared to ask, too busy watching the intense race.
The outcome was disappointing, Lando finishing behind Max, the one heâd have to beat to win the championship. The team and the people inside the paddock and the hospitality clapped for him and Oscar anyway, with Oscar finishing second and Lando fifth. You cheered and smiled, but it didnât reach your eyes. You knew what was to come once youâd be back in the hotel. You were scared, sure it would be the most painful thing youâd ever have to do, putting all the things youâd done for him, all the things heâd done to you, in its shadow.
The celebration went well, again, no hug or kiss for you. You were sure his mother had even scolded him for it, but that wasnât important anymore. You didnât really care anyway, the media would run their mouths about you anyway, and Lando surely doesnât give a shit either way. You desperately needed an answer, you wanted him to explain it to you. What had suddenly happen, what did you do wrong, for him to suddenly act like this? And if he fell out of love, then why couldnât he just tell you?
Meanwhile Lando was busy celebrating Oscarâs podium, taking pictures for the McLaren instagram account and whatnot, then doing the post race interviews.
He loved you, he really did. But he just didnât see you as someone he wanted to spend this life with. He couldnât imagine living his private life without you by his side, he wanted you to come with him to visit his family at home, to come with him when he would meet up with Max and the others during summer break or really, he wanted to just do nothing with you, nothing but share small kisses and cuddling on his couch at home, eating some homemade food and drinking a glass of wine together. At the same time, he thought that you didnât fit in. Not in this life.
You met when he wasnât yet the person he is now. When he was still passionate about so many other things other than just racing. Of course this had always been a part of him, but so were you. And now its just racing that occupied his mind, no single corner in his head left for his girlfriend. He knew it hurt you, but at the same time, part of what the media had to say about you was true. The first season he had spent with you by his side, the internet was already raging about how you werenât the typical WAG, and how they thought seeing you next to someone like a Kelly Piquet, you did seem a little weird. Lando didnât want to be confronted with these opinions anymore, so instead of standing up for you, he decided to âhideâ you. To not put you in the center of attention after a race to hug and kiss you, to just let you stand there and wait until you were inside where no one could see you. He also avoided reading anything the internet had to say about you, so the fact that his plan had only made you gain more and more hate, went unnoticed. Just like your complaints when he didnât want to be seen with you after races at parties or even in a restaurant for dinner with Charles and Alexandra. Of course they had invited the both of you, and not only him. Lando came up with an excuse so he the paparazzi wouldnât see you. The rumor that Lando and you have broken up after he was seen at dinner alone didnât seem to bother him either, but it did you. He thought you liked it this way, as he thought, without any hate comments about your looks or the way youâd dress compared to the others. He thought you appreciated not having to dress up for parties or the countless hangouts with his friends. He thought you cried that night after he was out for dinner because you cooked for him and he just went out, not that you cried because you felt not good enough for him to want you to come with him.
He really was stupid enough to think you were happy with all of this.
And while he was happy to be able to finally spend his summer break with you and only you, it all came crashing down when you were back in your shared apartment. Tears were forming in his eyes while yours were already streaming down your face as you yelled at him, telling him every yet so small detail that left your heart crushed and broken while he was busy âhiding youâ, or as he explained it to you, âprotecting you.â this wasnât protection, this was blatant ignorance. And finally in this relationship, you did something for yourself. You left.
Maybe it was miscommunication, or him refusing to communicate at all. But that didnât matter now, âcause now, it was over. No more kisses, no more cuddles and no more meeting friends or families. But most importantly, no more crying, no more sleepless nights, no more unappreciated support, no more hiding.
â I waited and waited â
Finally at home, your family had expected to see you with Lando by your side, and they were so very excited to finally be able to meet the guy their lovely daughter was head over heels for, using every chance she had to gush over him and how unbelievably proud she was of him. So when you stood there with puffy eyes and all your luggage placed next to you, they knew the tears you cried werenât happy tears from finally behind home again. They were tears from saying goodbye to the life you were ready to spend with your boyfriend, who was now on the other side of the world.
You knew it was stupid, but you couldnât help waiting for him to reach out to you again. A call or a message, hell, you hoped he was as miserable without you as you were without him so that maybe Max or even Oscar had to contact you again. Despite all the times he had hurt you, you missed him so dearly.
But after months and months of waiting, you decided that there was no use in waiting. Itâs over, and its for the better, it has to be.
It was gonna be hard seeing him again, once the summer break is over. Even if the love between Lando and you ended, your love for Formula 1 didnât, and you werenât about to give that up just for the sake of not having to see him. Youâd be in the stands or in front of the TV, heâd be in his car or in front of the camera. No point in worrying. But still, the first few races, you watched curled up next to your best friend and your parents from home. It was so nice to finally be able to see everyone again, everyone you had to miss all these months you were away. Your dad and you used to always watch races together, and you were more than grateful to finally be able to do exactly that again.
â Man am I the greatest? God, I hate it, all my love and patience â Unappreciated. You said your heart was jaded, you couldnât even break it, I shouldnât have to say it ⌠â
His instagram and twitter definitely make it seem like your broken heart doesnât match his perfectly fine one. He seemed happier than ever, having fun with his friends at parties and driving around different towns with different girls. Seeing him was draining, but how were you supposed to never hear about him again when the entire internet was screaming his name? You wanted your life to finally feel easier now, but it seemed to only get harder.
You felt you lost your soulmate, while he only lost his greatest burden.
It wasnât until you watched the first race after the summer break with your dad that it all came flooding back to you. Lando crossed the finish line first, and as the camera switched to show him get out of his car and rip off his helmet to kiss his new girlfriend that looked weirdly similar to you, surrounded by loud cheers, clapping and ecstatic, smiling faces, you realize that maybe, he really didnât love you. And that he didnât *want* to kiss you after his races, because it seems that if he had wanted to, he wouldâve.
At the same time, even while standing on the highest step of that podium, Lando couldnât help but think about you, how stupid he was to treat you like a piece of shit when all you wanted was to be there for him after races like this one and most importantly, why the hell no girl heâs been with after your breakup felt even remotely close to you. You were the greatest thing heâd ever had, no trophy, no price would ever compare, and he managed to take it all for granted.
If he had just put in a little more effort, really, you couldâve been the greatest .
NEED THIS FOR MY FUTURE REFERENCES ALALAALALAL
đ Master List of My Stories đ
Hi, my lovely readers! Hereâs a list of all my works in one place to make it easier for you to explore my stories. Click on the titles to read the full piece. Happy reading!
đď¸ Max Verstappen đď¸
The First Time - Max Verstappen x Reader
Control - Max Verstappen x Reader x Charles Leclerc
Punishment - Max Verstappen x Reader x Lando Norris x Nico Hulkenberg
Praise - Max Verstappen x Reader
Slow - Max Verstappen x Reader
Work for It - Daniel Ricciardo x Reader x Max Verstappen x Carlos Sainz
Secret - Max Verstappen x reader
đď¸ Lewis Hamilton đď¸
Hunger - Lewis Hamilton x Reader
đď¸ Lando Norris đď¸
On the Edge - Lando Norris x Reader
Needy - Lando Norris x Reader
Devoted to You - Lando Norris x Reader
Miami, baby - Lando Norris x Reader
Punishment - Max Verstappen x Reader x Lando Norris x Nico Hulkenberg
Gift - Lando Norris x Reader
đď¸ Carlos Sainz đď¸
On a Hurry - Carlos Sainz x Reader
Special Sweater - Carlos Sainz x Reader
Work for It - Daniel Ricciardo x Reader x Max Verstappen x Carlos Sainz
Anxious - Carlos Sainz x Reader
đď¸ Oscar Piastri đď¸
Brat - Oscar Piastri x Reader
đď¸ Daniel Ricciardo đď¸
Work for it - Daniel Ricciardo x Reader x Max Verstappen x Carlos Sainz
đď¸ Charles Leclerc đď¸
Control - Max Verstappen x Reader x Charles Leclerc
đď¸ Nico Hulkenberg đď¸
Punishment - Max Verstappen x Reader x Lando Norris x Nico Hulkenberg
James, WHEN I CATCH YOU JAMES YOU SON OF YOUR MOTHER EIWOIEJDHSJDHSJD Let's talk about how the only people who care about Logan in this world are logan fans and alex albon. đŚ đŚ đŚ đŚ đŚ đŚ đŚ đď¸đď¸đď¸đď¸
not to be dramatic but I would die for him
Oh heâs everything to me
I NEED THIS BIBLICALLY PLEASE
I DID SOMETHING ACCIDENTALLY đđ
milf (myself iâd like to forgive) and dilf (despair iâd like to forget)
destined [des-tind] adjective.
ordained, appointed, or predetermined. governed by fate.
wait.
Fuck the constructors they are trying to beat Lestappan on ao3 top 100
You think you're the painter, but you're actually just the canvas
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