Every Single Odd Number Has An “e” In It.

If you leave your Christmas lights up year round, it’s all “oh they’re so festive” or “oh they’re just lazy”.

But I leave even one (1) skeleton in my front b yard longer than a day after Halloween and suddenly it’s all, “oh they’re crazy” and “where’d they even get that skeleton anyway why does it look so real?”

Dear guy who just made my burrito:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing life a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

at the end of each ep of queer eye when the dude shows off his new look to his family and friends

I made this, please feel free to use

The respect never leaves

Psych is the perfect example of how the Homestuck relationship quadrants play out irl

Shawn and Gus are moirails. Like, perfect definition.

Shawn and Jules are matesprits. (Duh)

Shawn and Lassie are kismessitudes. With Gus, Jules, and even arguably Chief Vick stepping in as auspistices as needed.

I could write an essay on this, as both a Homestuck and Psych autistic. Argue with the wall, you know I’m right and y’all have just been too afraid to say it

Finding a Conscience

So Volume 7 definitely introduced a whole lot of symbolic elements of Penny’s Pinocchio story.

We’ve gotten a Geppetto (Pietro),

a Blue Fairy (Fria),

a symbolic ‘become a real boy’ transformation, or in this case; an affirmation beyond all doubt that Penny was a real girl all along

And the end of the volume even introduced a Montro.

However, even with all this, I recently realized that there was still a major character from Pinocchio that we still seemed to be lacking.

Jiminy Cricket. Which the more I thought about it seemed pretty odd given that Penny doesn’t seem to NEED someone to be her conscience, after all, she seems to be by far the most moral and empathetic of all the Atlas characters.

But now I’m pretty sure that was exactly the point. Because Penny is the Jiminy Cricket of this story. Rather than having a different character act as her conscience, Penny herself acts as the conscience to others. Namely, Ironwood, Winter and the rest of Atlas.

All of Penny’s scenes with Winter from Episode 7 on can pretty much be summed up as Penny playing the role of Jiminy Cricket.

Finally, this adds another layer of symbolism to Winter, and by extension Ironwood, forcing Penny to flee Atlas.

Atlas has now effectively rejected their conscience.

May: hey guys have you seen Fiona?

Joanna: She’s in the other room crying but just give her some space for now

May: why is she crying?

Robyn: she‘s sad because snakes don’t have any arms

Fiona in the other room crying louder: WHYYY!!!

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free