I’m Eating This Russian Chocolate And It Made A Rattling Noise When I Shook It And There’s A Horse

can you make coherent fucking sense for one post

You jost want me to pesinny on dizash… Welp heerg yow go. All froshed, bottered, bustering and browled.

A boy approaches.

“accidentally brought a Range Rover”

My face when I think about how I get to see @markiplier perform tonight!!

If someone tells you to hold your horses, they’re telling you to be stable.

Ripped my pants

I have an important story

I was walking out of the gym on campus and over to my bike to unlock it, and looked up just in time to see a goose attack a woman as she walked past. I’m talking grabbing at her jacket, flapping its wings, biting and honking. I’m no stranger to our aggressive campus geese but hot diggity damn. Then. Then the goose turned and looked at me and let out a horrifying honk and suddenly, it was like bullet time, suddenly this massive goose was flying towards me.

So I squared up.

I tried to protect my expensive headphones.

And I braced for Goose.

When that thing flew at me I kicked higher and harder than I ever have and landed a solid blow to its huge, boat like body. It was so much harder and heavier than I expected. No one expects to kick a goose. It let out this awful squeaky toy noise, tried to grab at my hat, and then flew up and landed on the roof of the gym, watching me. I couldn’t turn my back for fear it would attack.

The worst part? There was no one around. No one saw me kick this deranged goose.

For five minutes I stood there, terrified of this goose.

And then people started walking out of the gym.

“I saw you kick that goose.”

“Man, that was a mean goose.”

“Nice kick on the goose.”

Eventually it took off and I was able to resume my day but not after solidifying my identity as The One Who Kicked The Goose.

We tryin to see it!!!! (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)