Crop Circles

what is the meaning behind your url?

my life story, I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep

13/10 best boi around, great wig

Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.

“accidentally brought a Range Rover”

I have an important story

I was walking out of the gym on campus and over to my bike to unlock it, and looked up just in time to see a goose attack a woman as she walked past. I’m talking grabbing at her jacket, flapping its wings, biting and honking. I’m no stranger to our aggressive campus geese but hot diggity damn. Then. Then the goose turned and looked at me and let out a horrifying honk and suddenly, it was like bullet time, suddenly this massive goose was flying towards me.

So I squared up.

I tried to protect my expensive headphones.

And I braced for Goose.

When that thing flew at me I kicked higher and harder than I ever have and landed a solid blow to its huge, boat like body. It was so much harder and heavier than I expected. No one expects to kick a goose. It let out this awful squeaky toy noise, tried to grab at my hat, and then flew up and landed on the roof of the gym, watching me. I couldn’t turn my back for fear it would attack.

The worst part? There was no one around. No one saw me kick this deranged goose.

For five minutes I stood there, terrified of this goose.

And then people started walking out of the gym.

“I saw you kick that goose.”

“Man, that was a mean goose.”

“Nice kick on the goose.”

Eventually it took off and I was able to resume my day but not after solidifying my identity as The One Who Kicked The Goose.

Me: *makes a small irrelevant mistake*

My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC

Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*

My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ….acknowledged

porygon is an awesome duck made out of shapes

a soulmate is a person that won’t complain about any of my music when i put my ipod on shuffle

GORDON RAMSEY’S TWITTER CRITIQUES IS WHAT WE NEED IN TIMES LIKE THIS 

are you “i look worse with my glasses on” team or “i look worse without my glasses on” team?