Tweet Of The Year

Autistic or autosick

*insert car crashing noises*

Hello Tumblr friends, apropos of nothing, I have a book recommendation for you.

If You Think You Would Enjoy:

First person narration that Does Something Cool With It

Urban fantasy that really leans into the urban aspect. The mundane beauty of the city made magical

London Man Investigates His Own Murder While Committing Several More Murders, more at 8

A protagonist who is just an absolute wet pathetic paper bag of a man and knows it

A protagonist(s) who are the exuberant and unhinged personification of telecommunications technology with an unparalleled zest for life and also sometimes murder

Both of those characters are technically the same person

The most breathtakingly gorgeous prose that has ever been used to describe a magically animated pile of garbage

A tone that I feel can reasonably be described as “gritty,” with its refusal to shy away from the blood and grime of reality, but that is also suffused with a deep unflinching love for everything that humanity is

A supporting cast that includes many of the world’s weirdest and most badass women

The protagonist getting beat up and/or stabbed and/or shot and almost dying at least twice per book

A reading experience not quite like any you have seen before or since

Then You Should Read:

The Matthew Swift series by Kate Griffin, starting with A Madness of Angels

If you love the city of London, you will love this book. If you have never been to the city of London, this book will show you what it looks like through the eyes of someone who loves it.

(And also what it looks like when embodied as a giant dragon made of street signs.)

I cannot emphasize enough the gorgeousness of this prose, the geniusness of the urban magic system, and the amount of love for London and for humanity that oozes out of this book. I am also fully convinced that Matthew Swift would be a tumblr blorbo if his books were not mostly out of print and very niche.

It can be a bit hard to get your hands on a physical copy—try thriftbooks or another online used bookseller, or call your friendly neighborhood bookstore and see if they can order it for you. Or just go for an ebook (maybe your library has it on Libby). It is absolutely worth the trouble.

Brief content note while I have you here: There is a fair amount of violence and it is sometimes very lovingly described. Also...don’t get too attached to side characters.

Go read it and then join the approximately 3 people on tumblr who know this book exists and are obsessed with it!!

Avatar of the stranger but its just someone who makes an absurd amount of AI art and deepfakes.

Avatar of the flesh but its just someone who makes disturbing ads for PETA

Avatar of the eye but its just a huge comic nerd who’s constantly condescending about their knowledge to everyone

Avatar of the desolation but its just someone who purposefully messes with office/school microwaves, making them unusable

Avatar of the slaughter but its just a LARPer who’s wayyyyy too into the ‘fighting’

Avatar of the lonely but its just a gas station clerk who always takes the night shift by themselves

Avatar of the dark but its just an electrician who’s really really bad at their job

Avatar of the spiral but its just a clickbait YouTuber with really long videos and weirdly familiar but untraceable background music

Avatar of the corruption but its just someone who writes weird shipfics with awful, insidiously unhealthy relationship dynamics

Avatar of the end but its just a goth who hangs out at cemeteries that won’t stop death infodumping to random bereaved people

Avatar of the hunt but its just an edgy middle schooler who pretends to be a wolf and keeps winning at tag against kids who aren’t playing

Avatar of the web but its just a scam phone caller who’s good at getting old people who aren’t good with computers

Avatar of the buried but its just a construction worker who always has to be the first one to do any excavating or digging

Avatar of the vast but its just someone who makes religious talks about how large and all-encompassing their god/gods is/are

Avatar of the extinction but its just an artist who constantly makes climate change or pollution related exhibitions.

EXPLODING AUGHH

XXI The World

I love you so (I love you, too)

pssstt sheet music reference from @kkachis btw <3

Anything strange and odd about me can be attributed to my early childhood snack of road salt and moss

second base is preserving your organs and mounting your head on my wall. third base is sex of course

EXPLODING

I will start sobbing violently no one look at me

Poem by Natalie Wee

Jonk

Petition to make him the next tumblr sexyman. He’s a girls girl.

Nico in a modern world setting would be a streamer called 'Ghost King'.

Specifically, a horror game streamer. That would be like his main thing. He's that streamer who plays horror games but rarely gets jumpscared. He's the type to make sarcastic comments and critic on game design while being chased down by a ghost.

He rarely plays multiplayer games, but when he does, his streams are so fun and chaotic because he would lose his cool while playing with his friends who, especially in a game setting, he consider as idiots.

Imagine him playing Phasmophobia, Forewarned or Demonologist and just getting invested with trying to figure out the type of ghost/spirit/evil while the other three players are running around, unintentionally provoking the ghost/spirit/evil as they scream into the background. They'll be wondering why Nico isn't responding to them and jump into his stream, only to find out that Nico have them on mute.

Imagine him playing Among Us. He would be a ruthless killer.