Link To Free Pdfs

link to free pdfs

I’ve been collecting pdfs over the years and I put them all in this google drive folder. I divided them into literature and theory and then by language: english, spanish, basque, italian, portuguese, turkish, russian and french.

last updated: 17 january 2021

big masterpost of fun things to do this summer

hi :) i like to make a big list of things i want to do each summer, and i thought i’d share all the resources i collected this year with y'all in case you want to do any of these things too <3

learn a new language. 🦜

i’ve collected a bunch of resources for french, korean, and mandarin so i’ll be making separate posts for those languages. but here’s some of my favourite resources - most of them are based off of krashen’s comprehensible input theory which is why they are fun resources:

french: free grammar lessons and quizzes for all levels, watch french tv, read manga in french, a drive full of french books, a bunch of french culture podcasts, a list of french youtubers

korean: anki grammar decks for all levels, super in depth grammar explanations up to advanced level, a bunch of resources, reddit’s ultimate beginner’s thread, read korean webtoon, talk to me in korean

mandarin: a bunch of anki decks, grammar gamified, reading practice, chinese reading world, mandarin bean grammar points

japanese: core 2000 words anki deck, grammar gamified on renshuu

spanish: language transfer for spanish!

learn to draw. 🎨

this is more just a collection of art related resources. hope they help!

proko’s art library, a bunch of sketching and fundamental tutorials

the complete famous artists course

collection of art books and resources

alphonso dunn’s youtube channel

learn guitar. 🎸

i got a guitar last summer on a whim and have been having a really fun time learning it! here’s the main resource i’ve been using.

learn jazz piano. 🎹

similarly jazz piano is something i’ve wanted to get into for a while + improv. this person’s youtube channel is very cool!

write something and put it out into the world! ✍

i love to write and it took me a while to learn how to submit stuff to journals. hope these help you!

a bunch of resources on how to submit to journals

how to submit to literary magazines by doretta lau

publishing 101

chillsubs, an easy way to find journals to submit to

make your own video games. 🎮

by now if you follow me you know i love to make twine games. here are a couple of cool engines you can use for free!

twine, a text based engine

love

renpy or visual novel resources

bitsy

take a free online course. 🧠

coursera has a lot of options, which i really like. i took Yale’s the science of well being a few years ago and it was great!

make your own music or learn how audio software works. 🎵

audionodes is a cool free browser software that lets you do this without downloading anything!

learn about personal finance. 💵

i feel like it’s hard to devote proper time to learning about personal finance so a lot of us rely on learning as we go, but there are some good resources and tools online that are quick and easy when you have 5-30 min to spare!

PBS Two Cents youtube short vids about personal finance

wealthsimple personal finance 101 (short videos. nicholas braun is in them for some reason)

mint - free budgeting and goals software

edspira - more technical side of finance, accounting, etc youtube channel

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spanishleaf

3 years ago

Red flags for Love Bombing:

The person doing it is someone you met recently (days, weeks, month ago), or they recently decided they want to get closer to you

They decide that you’re perfect (friend, relationship partner, peer, employee, student) before actually taking the time to get to know you

They talk about you as if you know each other for a long time, and make statements about you as if they’ve known you forever

They talk about plans they have for you; they’d love to be closer, travel together, live together, meet you more often, some will even talk about marriage or some kind of partnership early on even though you’ve only met recently

You get a LOT of positive attention from them, to the point where you don’t feel the need to get positive attention from anyone else, and you end up giving your full attention to them

You feel like this is the person you’ve been waiting for, someone who sees everything good in you, you consider them special and feel flattered and grateful to finally get the attention you lacked for all this time

They always seem to say the perfect things, drop perfect lines you’ve been waiting to hear, to the point where it can sound like a movie or very idealized version of reality

You feel intensely reassured about your worth, your appearance, your value, your actions, your pain, it causes a rapid change in your daily feelings about yourself

You enjoy your new perception of yourself, but it’s completely tied to this one person who created it for you, and you don’t feel special or interesting or important out of that relationship, your identity is now tied to what they feel about you

You get the sense of ‘this feels to good to be true’ but you dismiss it because you don’t want to be suspicious or anxious about one good thing that finally happened to you

Their promises get overwhelming to the point where it doesn’t seem like they could possibly deliver them but they give you a chance to indulge yourself in daydreaming and wishful thinking and you hold onto that

You feel tied not only to this person, but to the future they’re promising, and even if you don’t know them for a very long time, you feel intensely about wanting to keep them in your life, do anything to not lose them and to keep the relationship as is

If you believe in soulmates, twin souls, or any new age spirituality, this person will feel like your destined one, or they might even suggest it themselves, that they were sent by an entity to 'fulfill you’ or 'destined for you’

Your life changed from how it normally was to the point where you feel like you have a life 'before’ and 'after you’ve met them’, you even kind forget who you were before them, as you find it’s painful and lonely life you don’t want to go back to

With time, you get anxious about their perspective of you changing, because it would shatter everything good you’ve started to think about yourself because of them

It’s very hard for you to think about them critically or in a negative way

If they started thinking badly of you or started mistreating you, your heart would break

Love bombing is a manipulative tactic of getting someone attached and dependent as quick as possible, and it’s done with over-the-top attention and affirmations, future faking, mirroring, and creating an idealized version of you without actually getting to know or understand you. The promises, feelings, gestures, imagined future and compliments are not real, they’re there so you would be invested enough to ignore any other red flags, to forget to context of the relationship, to bond to the point of not leaving even if it develops into abuse.

If you’ve fallen for it, do not feel guilty; this is designed to get your defenses down and to make you feel fulfilled to the point where your reasoning turns to mush and you grasp that break from being devalued and neglected all of the time like it’s a lifeline. It’s often impossible to resist the strong emotions and relief at being offered, however fake, positive attention. Previous victims of abuse, neglected children, mentally ill, autistic, or in any way vulnerable members of society are very susceptible to this, because they’re often the ones starved for attention and will not question the kind of attention they get because they need it too badly. Whoever uses this tactic is aware of this, and is ready to dangle affection in front of you in order to trap you into abuse. You are not responsible for falling for it, doing this to you is criminal. This is what a start of an abusive relationship looks like.

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spanishleaf

2 years ago

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with a FP?

Absolutely, yes! This is a list of how I manage that. Keep in mind that everyone is different and if certain things don't work for you, that's completely valid.

Please see this post if you aren't sure what a FP is.

One of the first things is that even though it may be uncomfortable, diversify your relationships! Have different people that you have different similarities with. For example, maybe you really love a certain show, well making friends in the fandom might be a way to have someone to talk to about that interest.

Focus on your own hobbies. It's important to try and find a way to be happy on your own.

Practice your DBT skills. There are so many different skills useful for different situations. Here is a page I am working on of definitions of different skills. If one skill doesn't work for you, please don't give up on DBT skills. I've tried a lot of different skills, and a lot of them don't work for me but some work really well.

Focus on keeping the relationship mutual. By this I mean make sure that you’re respecting their boundaries, consent and meeting their needs too (as long this doesn’t infringe on your own. If your needs conflict, that’s a bit more complicated and may require compromise.)

Teach yourself not to rely solely on them. It's important to work on things where you don't feel abandoned when they can't give you their attention. (This is where DBT skills are likely to come in handy.)

Work on your self-soothing. If your brain spirals that they don't care, work on curbing impulses associated with that(hint check out my urge surfing post here). Don't send them messages like "clearly you don't care!" Here are some tips for self-soothing that I've written about in the past.

Communicate directly. Don't hint at things. This can be exhausting, and frustrating to the other person. I know we feel awkward asking for things, but trust me that from being on the other end of this as well, I feel so much better if someone asks me directly.

Make sure your expectations are realistic. If you find your expectations are not being met, rather than getting angry at your FP try and step back and see if your expectations are realistic. If you determine they are, try and proceed with communicating with your FP when you're feeling calm.

Be willing to apologize and admit when you're wrong. This goes without saying, but people mess up. People make mistakes. And you aren't bad if that happens. But it's important to be able to acknowledge that and apologize to the other person without excuses.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but I hope this helps!

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spanishleaf

4 years ago