Executive Dysfunction Got Me Speed Running Studying For College Entrance Exam

So here’s an explanation for executive dysfunction for neurotypicals

I need to do my homework

But I feel dirty cause I was walking around outside barefoot this morning

I can’t do homework because I sit in bed to do homework and I don’t want my bed to get dirty

I don’t want to take a shower now because I like to take a shower at the end of the day to wind down

And then you’re just stuck in that loop for hours and there’s nothing you can do, you try so hard to think of solutions but you’re so set on it that you can’t change the problem

Do homework in a different place? Can’t, I like to do homework in bed and plus I can’t focus on anything else cause I feel dirty

Take a shower now? Can’t, but I really don’t want to because then I can’t take one tonight and it really helps me wind down at the end of the day

Do something else? Can’t, it’s time to do homework and yes I have other things to do but homework is the most important thing I need to do right now

And so you just gotta suffer and think and think and think and either do nothing and get nothing done, don’t do homework because you feel dirty and don’t want to shower now, or

Figure out which is the least annoying/disruptive option to your routine and preferences and do that to try to get back on track

In this case I chose to take a shower now so that I could get on with my day cause I knew it would be bothering me all day if I felt dirty, and I can try to do some other things tonight to find down

But it took me an hour to figure out why I was struggling to go do my homework and what I could do to fix it

Say you break your ankle. You could know everything there is to know intellectually about the injury. Even with this vast knowledge, you will still experience physical pain.

Now take this logic and apply it to things like ADHD, autism, clinical depression, and other less visible/divergent disabilities. You cannot think your way out of feeling.

That is to say: you are not a bad, lazy, or selfish person for struggling, even if you know why you are struggling.

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executive dysfunction sounds like a fucking lie, even the ones who suffers from it think it's just some stupid excuses they make for not putting enough efforts, and the whole thing doesn't make any sense either!

" I can't do thing because brain stops me from doing it "

LIKE WHAT. WHO WOULD BELIVE THAT

a reminder of how executive dysfunction can also look like . You are NOT lazy

brain : Hey the new season of my favorite show is out!!! I've been waiting for so long I'm excited to see it!!

Executive dysfunction : no. impossible. no fucking way. too difficult. unattainable. blocked.

brain : but I want to see it, I want to do it .. badly :(

Executive dysfunction : fuck no. you will be experiencing new emotions, meaning that it will have to be processed. that's too difficult and very exhausting

brain : alright lets watch old shows then

Executive dysfunction : that will be a waste of time, you could've just watch new things you stupid fuck.

brain : ..u right .. but what else can I do?

Executive dysfunction : i have preaperd for you exactly two options. You can either wait for no reason orrr, rot in bed and doom scroll for hours while you feel absolutely shit with yourself from wasting all this precious time.. ill let you chill in distress, mkay? :3 btw have you noticed the feeling, that looming fear and utter discomfort that has been gnawing at your insides like youre being chased by something? Correct, there's nothing you can do about it.

brain : so you're just gonna let me get stuck?

Executive dysfunction : absolutely! :)

brain : Is there really nothing i do something about it?

Executive dysfunction : well.. You can always try.. I'll just never gonna let you do anything else you want or need :)

brain : ... but that wont do.. how abou-

Executive dysfunction : bitch no. you cant

okay but having adhd is so sad when you don’t have a hyperfixation so pretty much nothing gives you joy and you try and force joy out of stuff, you attempt new interests, you go back to old hyperfixations and... nothing? :( it’s so upsetting because it’s like damn. i can’t even have fun in a normal way. and that’s kind of sad ngl

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