She Needs Some Therapy And Rehab 😭

I’m embarrassed I sobbed into a pillow for 2 hours after seeing a Tiktok

dude one of the saddest tiktoks just showed up in my fyp and i’m sobbing into my pillow

This

Okay but the Darkling using the Fold to protect his country isn’t even out of the realm possibilities and actually a pretty reasonable way to keep his borders in control. Like we haven’t seen the Chinese do EXACTLY that with the Chinese Wall and the ancient Romans do with Hadrian’s Wall. Keeping the Fold surrounded in Ravka while at the same time controlling it with his Grisha, keeps both his people safe and ends that endless war they’re fighting. He’d reunite west and east Ravka if he and Alina work together actually, prompting trade to flow back into the rest of Ravka, both feeding his people and refilling the crown’s treasury.

And I’m sure the Darkling usurping the crown is framed as a bad thing, but if you look at the big picture... He is immortal, he would hold that seat for as long as he lives and bring stability to his country. No such thing as change in government when he dies and his heir follows because it will always be him. There isn’t a power vacuum after some unpopular king dies bc it will always be him. No risk of incompetent monarchs fucking shit up both for Grisha or plunging the country in unnecessary wars bc it will always be him. We’re talking about a perpetual regime that actually can have progressive growth because it will always be him. He’s had 500 years of serving countless kings on his repertoire, you cannot tell me he doesn’t know how to effectively rule a country. To secure his throne he could actually have Sankta Alina as his queen, Nikolai saw the truth in that by proposing to her, but Alina would have the better hold and be in a better position of power to not only rein in Aleksander’s more ruthless approaches, while at the same time actually helping the geopolitical situation the country is currently in. Who else better to be a queen than someone who thought she’d been non-Grisha all her life until it turns out that she was one? Who else better to gap the divide between the Grisha and otkazat’sya than a queen who knows and sees the perspective of both sides?

Idk. to me Shadow King and Sun Queen sounded like a better outcome for the Grisha and for Ravka in the long run than whatever the heck happened in canon.

this deserves so many more likes. I seriously read this and was like I bet this has over a thousand likes and then when I get to the end there’s only five?? Ahhhhhh this is a masterpiece

don’t blame me, love made me crazy

summary: alina spent her whole life hiding and she is tired of it. when you and aleksander show her what power is, she craves it with every fiber of her being.

warnings: dom/sub dynamics but i don’t think they are explicitly clear (dom!aleksander, switch!reader, sub!alina), crying, clit/pussy slapping, cum play, it’s not choking but there’s a lot of neck grabbing, a bit of hair pulling and finger sucking. oh and a little bit of religious themes??

word count: 4.5k

a/n: *throws this at you* HERE HAVE THIS EVEN THOUGH I HATE IT BUT IT’S THE BEST I COULD DO || this is a slight AU in which alina knew from the beginning she was grisha but, she just didn’t know she was the sun summoner, paired with a corruption arc || *insert warning about not excusing the darkling’s actions this is just fanfiction* || also why did no one tell me how fucking hard it is to write a threesome oh my god || alina is 25, and reader met aleksander a long time ago so she is old || i feel like there are a lot of errors so remember that english isn’t my first language

lapushka: darling

milaya: sweet girl

Sasha: the shortened version of Aleksander

Alina could recall a time when she was able to run and play with other kids, when her body wasn’t too weak, too frail. When she had her mother and father, and she could play all day and climb trees. When she glowed, and her mother smiled brightly and her father hugged her tightly. But then the Fold swallowed them whole, leaving her alone and unable to call her light.

She heard the way everyone talked about Grisha in the Duke’s House, unknowingly talking about her, too. They called them witches, talked about their keftas and their small science with disdain. The word unnatural fell from everyone’s lips, even Mal’s. They regarded them with suspicion and distrust and thought of them as nothing more than obsessive reverents of their leaders, the Darkling and his Moon Summoner.

But she also heard how the boys talked about Grisha women. She heard about how beautiful they were and how they would like to tumble them. But just for the night, then they would leave because they were not worth all the work. They are scary, they would say between laughs.

But they were scary because they were strong and powerful. She once had been that, too.

The day the examiners came she kept a disinterested face, but on the inside, her mind was running wild with possibilities. She wanted to go, wanted to leave the Duke’s house behind and live in the Little Palace. She wanted to be stripped naked of the word otkazat’sya because she was not abandoned, she wasn’t nothing.

But then her eyes caught Mal’s and she saw the glimmer of hope in them. If she left, who would he have? No one. She couldn’t leave him, he was the only friend she had ever made; the person who turned the dark corners of the house into places to play hide and seek and the woods into somewhere they could explore.

If the Duke had been there, he would’ve recognised the look in her eyes and see that woman who stood tall and faced a row of bayonets unflinchingly.

And so, when the Grisha in a red kefta made the cut and she felt something inside her rise, she closed her hand around a piece of glass. Nothing came, and Mal smiled at her almost as brightly as her mother had done that her heart felt warm. It doesn’t matter, she told herself, I have Mal. She smiled back, and never tried to call for her light again.

I can wait, she thought. Her time would come.

—

It came in the shape of a man wrapped in black who commanded shadows and a woman in black and silver who called a light similar to hers.

They took her from the First Army, wrapped her in a kefta and showed her what power could be. What she could be. They taught her how to wield her light, gave her the space she needed to grow and become the best version of herself. They took that girl who shied away from the attention the first time they met in Aleksander’s tent and refused to make her small, forcing her to take up space and command attention. For the first time ever, she felt powerful.

Alina had spent her whole life feeling weak, like a burden. She had always been treated like the glass she had used to keep her powers hidden. “Keep a pencil on your hand,” Ana Kuya had said, “or else someone will put a rifle in it instead.” Because who would think the sickly girl would be strong enough to fight in the front lines and protect her country? They seemed to have forgotten that glass cuts, too.

She was done being powerless, defenceless. She was done being the frail little girl who needed protection. With the first taste of her own light, she became a famished woman, always craving more. More power, more light, always more. And they gave it to her.

That day by the fountain, when you and Aleksander told her the truth, or at least the part of the truth she was missing after so many years of hiding herself, she stayed. She listened to you talk about how the Fjerdans hunted Grisha from one country to another and burned them alive under the disguise of being found guilty on trial, how the Shu experimented on Grisha by cutting them open and taking their organs, how the Kaelish drank their blood and the Kerch made them slaves. Even the Ravkans, who needed them for protection, ostracized them.

No place was safe.

Aleksander explained how he had had a million names and a million different lives. Lanton, Eryk, Leonid. The Black Heretic, Starless Saint, Darkling. Never Aleksander. He told her how he sometimes still feared he would forget it one day. He explained he had met a million different people, never his father. Annika, Sylvi, Lev, Luda. They were all dust now, yet sometimes the side of his head from where Annika had hit him still ached.

He told her he had been hunted by people all his life, that many friends had betrayed him once they learned he was an amplifier. How they all wanted his bones.

You told her how you had escaped Fjerda with nothing but a nightgown and your light to keep you warm. How your father had wanted to burn you himself and had dragged you by the hair through the snow and beaten every inch of skin he could find. How he had hunted you for years after you left, and managed to kidnap you and drag you back to the Ice Court. You also told her how you had melted his eyes with your light and burned him in a pyre.

The two of you had seen your fair share of dead bodies, Grisha’s opened wide with missing organs or their ashes scattered in the unforgiving cold winds of Fjerda. Even though Aleksander had managed to create the Little Palace, a safe heaven for Grisha, they were still only seen as tools for the war.

And Alina understood. When the two of you confessed your true identities, when you told her your plans and showed her the hidden truth underneath the pretty keftas and the glamorous winter fetes, she understood. The war had gone on for too long, all those years of Grisha proving themselves useful just to survive were enough. So when Aleksander told her about Morozova’s stag, the plans to expand the Fold and use it as a weapon so you could rule together, she said yes. She wanted it, wanted to be the Sankta the peasants had started to worship, and she wanted to do it by your side.

The three of you were one and the same. Alina may have wanted to be good a long time ago, but not anymore. Not when you kissed her with so much fire and Aleksander caressed her skin so softly as if he was touching a cloud. Not when your moans echoed through their room and Aleksander traded those soft touches for rough thrusts that were still so loving. Not when, for the first time since she was five years old, she felt like she belonged somewhere. She belonged to someone.

—

The winter fete had ended hours ago, and everything had gone perfectly. Alina wore a special kefta made of black fabric and gold embroidery, a gift from both you and Aleksander. After that day by the fountain, Alina traded the blue kefta for the black one that she had hidden in her closet.

When she first arrived at the Little Palace, she wanted to blend in with everyone else. The looks people gave her made her uncomfortable; they were either full of jealousy or they hid an ulterior motive as they welcomed her to her new home. But now, she no longer wanted to hide in the crowd of Etherealkis, instead, she embraced being the myth everyone whispered about.

Once she took the stage, she called for two bursts of light and moved them all around the darkened room and looked towards you, standing next to Aleksander in front of the stage. When you nodded your head, the small ball of light she held in her hand exploded and filled the room with a white blazing light. Everyone covered their eyes in fear of being blinded, except for you and Aleksander. You were staring straight at her, identical smirks on your faces and a proud glint in your eyes.

Alina felt a shiver go down her spine. It was the same look you gave her when she first showed you the progress she made, the one Aleksander gave her when she said yes to their plans. It was the same look both of you gave her in the privacy of your room as her legs trembled and mouth hanged wide open.

And then the whispers started. Sankta Alina fell from everyone’s mouth as they kneeled in front of her, Alina’s heart pounding against her ribcage as she saw the whole room venerating her. It was an intoxicating feeling, and she couldn’t get enough of it. She wondered if they had any idea of what was truly coming, of what the three most powerful Grisha were planning to do.

When the show finished and the celebration started, Aleksander pulled her to the side of the stage and whispered, “I think a private celebration is in order.” She saw you making your way towards them and nodded excitedly. He took her by the arm and pulled her into the crowd, meeting you halfway. People were offering their congratulations and reaching their hands to touch you, but Aleksander quickly commanded his shadows to cloak the three of you, making you invisible.

She could still hear the people laughing and crying, and as you walked through an empty corridor she could feel your hand on the small of her back as you chuckled “We are going to be gods.” Aleksander’s fingers had a tight grip on her hand as he walked down the hallway. It was lit only by the moonlight, an iridescent and melancholic glow against the marble floors and columns. The ornate gold decorations gleamed, and the dark corners served as a refuge for your longing touches.

—

As soon as you closed the door of your room, Aleksander kissed Alina with newfound fervour as his hands started to unfasten her kefta. The half-burned candles cast a warm glow in the room, your shadows dancing around one another. You left a slew of wet kisses against the side of her neck, “It felt good, didn’t it?” you whispered in her ear, lightly biting its shell. “Seeing them kneel before you? Did you like it, Sankta Alina?”

Alina shivered, “I loved it.” she answered against Aleksander’s lips, and watched as they curled in a dark smirk. “They have no idea what you really are, Sol Koroleva.” His voice was low, “Our little saint is actually a Heretic.” And then he was kissing her again, small shivers of pleasure going down her spine and making her knees weak. She didn’t even realize you had pulled both her kefta and underwear off, so lost in the feeling that was Aleksander’s lips.

Your hands were on her breasts, fingers pinching and flicking her nipples harshly while kissing her jaw and biting her earlobe. Alina moaned, gripping Aleksander’s hair so roughly she elicited a groan out of his mouth. She turned her head around and kissed you needily, one hand going to the back of your neck and pulling you as close as she could with the awkward angle. Aleksander took his kefta off and repeated your actions against the column of her neck. She turned completely around, pressing her body against yours until her naked chest met the rough fabric of your kefta. You unfastened the clasps, throwing it behind you carelessly while her fingers removed your underwear.

Your lips never parting from hers, you walked her back towards the bed and pushed her down. You stood in front of her and softly petted her head, then slowly tangled your fingers in her hair and pulled, forcing her to look you in the eye. Aleksander stood next to you, chest bare as his obsidian eyes looked at the girl kneeling in front of you two. His rough hand grabbed her chin harshly, “Do you want us to kneel for you too, Alina?” the question made her stomach flutter. “You just have to tell us and we’ll do it. Have we ever denied you, lapushka?” You hadn’t. Everything she could have ever possibly wanted you gave it to her.

Alina nodded, her mind too foggy with various scenarios to properly speak. “Say it,” you snapped, grip tightening against her scalp.

“Kneel,” she said breathlessly, eyes wide open as she watched the two most powerful Grisha in existence lower themselves to their knees for her. Just at her simple command.

Your soft hands travelled up her thighs, pushing them in opposite directions so she was open wide for you. You and Aleksander left a trail of wet kisses on the inside of each thigh, the burn of Aleksander’s beard making goosebumps rise all over her skin. It was his fingers that reached her first, spreading her folds to expose her completely. She was glistening, wetness gathered on her slit and sticking everywhere. “Oh, you liked that,” he chuckled, “you liked giving out orders. Do you think you’d make a good General?” he taunted, watching as her head fell back against the mattress.

“I don’t think so, Sasha, she is too messy,” you tsked as your finger traced her slit up and down. Alina whined at your words, her hips slightly bucking at your barely-there touch.

A gasp left her mouth when she felt your tongue against her clit, the pointed tip flicking it up and down before sucking it just right. Then it dived in so deep inside her that the previous gasp was followed by a loud moan. Aleksander pushed two fingers inside her mouth, going as far as they could reach and making her gag, not expecting the intrusion at all.

She sucked on them eagerly, almost using them as a pacifier to control the loud moans you made her let out. There was spit gathering at the sides of her mouth, but she latched one hand around Aleksander’s wrist to keep them there. You sneaked your hands around her waist, pulling her closer as you kept sucking and slightly biting all over her pussy.

Her voice grew louder once again when Aleksander removed his fingers and pushed them inside her with no warning. A choked gasp escaped her, and she shut her eyes tightly as her legs started to tremble. “Ah, ah, don’t close your eyes, lapushka,” he warned, “don’t get shy now, this is what you asked for remember? Look.”

She forced her eyes to open, staring at your flushed cheeks and glistening chin. You maintained eye contact with her, never stopping your movements. Aleksander curled his fingers, and she felt a white heat curling at her toes. She raised her hips in tandem with Aleksander’s fingers, covering your chin in her juices and making your nose bump her clit.

“Are you gonna cum, Alina?” you asked her, head coming up for air as your thumb kept circling her clit. She whined a small “yes”, her hips still rolling and her hands gripping the black silk sheets tightly, creating more creases. She could feel the almost unbearable heat in her stomach, the coil inside her tensing with each touch. “Please, I’m gonna- I- please” she blabbered, consciousness gone as the only thought her brain could register was let go.

“Be a good little saint for us and cum, Alina” said Aleksander, one hand pressing on her stomach to keep her from moving so much. With a sharp pinch from your fingers on her clit, the coil finally snapped and her legs trembled before closing around both of your wrists. Her whole body was humming with electricity. Aleksander, however, never stopped pushing his fingers. She cried out, the overstimulation slightly hurting her, but then he smirked when he saw her hips raising once more in search of another release.

He slapped her clit, her loud cry music to his ears. “What a greedy girl you are, Alina” he sneered, and Alina whimpered.

“I’m not, I’m sorry,” she panted, but it wasn’t the truth. She was greedy for everything the two of you gave her, everything you taught her. And she wasn’t sorry for craving so much, because that’s what you taught her. Take, take, take, every time a bit more until she was satisfied with what she had. But she would never be satisfied, not when her veins were already thrumming with the anticipation of what having Morozova’s stag as an amplifier would do to her. Would she be able to wield merzost?

And Aleksander knew she was lying. “Liar,” he sneered and pushed you off her while shaking his head at Alina in a haughty manner. He raised his glistening fingers in front of you, and you immediately opened your mouth, licking them clean and humming around them. You kept Alina’s release on your tongue, never swallowing it. “You know what to do,” he said as he looked you in the eye, a wicked glint in his dark eyes.

You raised to your feet, climbing over the bed and settling yourself over Alina’s body. You pulled her hair so she was looking up at you with hazy eyes, then used your other hand to squish her cheeks. “Open your mouth, my love” you breathed. Alina did as you said and left her tongue out, already knowing what was coming.

You gathered the spit in your mouth, mixing it with her cum, then slowly let it drip on Alina’s tongue. You heard Aleksander groan behind you, his hands caressing every inch of your body as Alina’s eyes rolled at the taste. A moan escaped her when you squeezed her neck, “Swallow” you ordered.

Alina did as you said without hesitation, her pussy clenching around nothing when you murmured a small ‘good girl’. With a hand on her chest, you pulled her down on the mattress, hips straddling her waist. “I don’t think the Saints were too happy seeing you beg for a Heretic to make you cum,” you murmured in her ear.

You kissed her neck as Aleksander towered over both of your bodies. “Since you were such a selfish girl, Alina,” he said in a low and mocking voice as his hand travelled up and down your spine, “I’m not going to fuck your greedy cunt until you make our little moon cum at least twice with that lying tongue of yours.” All his propriety was gone, exchanging his posh and pretentious words for ones filled with such crass that they would have Queen Tatiana blushing.

You looked at him, eyes glinting in excitement. “Go on, hop on her face, my love.” You followed his command instantly and climbed over her body, eager to have her tongue inside you. You turned so that you were facing Aleksander, and slowly lowered your body so that your pussy was hovering over her mouth, and a needy whine escaped your mouth when you felt the flat of her tongue against your clit.

After positioning you perfectly above her mouth with her arms around your plush thighs, she started to feast. She moved her tongue in and out of you, making sure to stimulate your clit however she could, mainly using her nose as she bumped it while moving her head around trying to get as deep inside you as possible.

That small amount of pleasure after being ignored for so long was enough to make a mess of you, whines and blubbers falling from your mouth. Your hands scrambled all over the air in search of something to hold on to, settling for Aleksander’s. He held them tightly, intertwining your fingers, as he watched you fall apart. His cock was throbbing at the sight and the noises, but he had to wait a little bit longer. He stared at you, drinking in the image of his milaya completely lost in pleasure, the inhibitions that controlled her during the day completely gone for their eyes only.

You couldn’t control your loud cry when she hummed at your taste. Your stomach tightened as you fell into a pile of total ecstasy, your hips slowly rolling against her face as the last trembles of your orgasm went through your body. “Oh so good, my love, so good for me,” you mumbled blearily, ears already feeling stuffed.

Finally, Aleksander positioned himself in between Alina’s open legs, pushing his cock along her dripping folds. He tapped it against her clit a few times, making her whine, and then slowly entered her. She moaned, and it sent vibrations to your pussy. He stayed still for a moment, wanting to push Alina’s limits. Her hips bucked desperately, but he slapped her clit in warning.

“You never learn,” he snarked, “I told you to stop being selfish but you are so focused on yourself you refuse to follow a simple command.”

Alina whimpered, shaking her head as she put two of her fingers in her mouth, covering them in spit before pushing them inside you. Her mouth then focused on your clit, sucking and slobbering all over it. Your hips moved of their accord, already feeling another orgasm building inside you. You looked at Aleksander, and your skin burned at the lewd smirk he gave you. He had started to move slowly but precisely, knowing exactly which spots to hit inside Alina to drive her insane without giving her what she wanted.

Her fingers curled perfectly, and you moaned loudly. “Oh right there! Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop.” You said while shaking your head as if she could see you. It was pathetic how whiny you were getting, but you couldn’t help it, you were simply feeling too good. Your thighs started to tremble and then your whole body tensed. Quickly, Aleksander grabbed you by the neck and kissed you sloppily, muffling all of your cries.

As soon as he saw you cum for the second time, he started to move his hips faster. He was going at such a speed the headboard was banging against the headboard, but he didn’t care. He grabbed Alina’s hips tightly, knowing there would surely be bruises tomorrow, and Alina moaned at the image in her head of her body being covered in purple hues. Purple hues made by him.

She clenched around him, and his hips stuttered. “That’s it,” he grunted “Squeezing me like a vice, my love, are you going to cum? Gonna make a mess on my cock, hm?” She just hummed against your pussy. She hadn’t stopped moving her fingers since you came a second time, and you were already trembling in anticipation. It wouldn’t take you too long to come once more, and your walls were gripping her fingers so tightly it was getting harder and harder for her to move them.

The stimulation was getting too much, turning your brain into mush. You weren’t able to form coherent sentences, only whimpers and unintelligible babbles leaving your mouth. Your hands were gripping Aleksander’s shoulders, nails digging crescent moons on his skin and making him hiss in pleasure at the small cuts. You pouted your lips, a silent sign for him to kiss you.

He put a hand on the small of Alina’s back, slightly raising her hips as he leaned forward to press his lips against yours. The new angle made him hit such deep places inside Alina that she cried out in pleasure, her legs around his waist pulling him even closer.

Aleksander’s hips stuttered as he kissed you. It was sloppy and more tongue than teeth, but neither of you cared. Alina grazed your clit with her teeth and that was enough to dissolve you into a sobbing mess, body shaking as it slumped against her sweaty one. Your head rested against one of Alina’s plush thighs, hypnotised by the sight of Aleksander’s glistening cock moving in and out of Alina’s red pussy.

Slowly, you moved your hand so your fingers slightly graced her puffy button. The contrast between Aleksander’s rough and unforgiving thrusts and your delicate touch made her cum with bucking hips and a loud long moan.

Seeing Alina in such unabashed pleasure was enough to make the ball of nerves inside Aleksander explode, and he groaned as he spilt everything he had inside Alina. His body fell forward, his forehead resting against your sweaty back. His chest was heaving, taking deep breaths as he watched Alina sigh happily at the feeling of being full of him.

Slowly he pulled out, watching his cum drip on the black sheets. However, his softening cock twitched one last time when he saw you slurping his cum from Alina’s sensitive pussy, cleaning Alina up in the process and she let out a few more whines as you finished drinking everything you could. You raised your head, showing him your tongue before you swallowed, then smirked at him.

“Fuck,” he said in a low voice. You slowly raised your body and he moved forward, cupping your face and kissing you once more. He groaned in your mouth when he realized he was tasting all three of you at the same time.

While he grabbed the bunched up sheets at the end of the bed, you climbed down from Alina’s body. Your soft palm was splayed against her flushed cheek, turning her face so she was looking at you. Your other hand pushed back the hair that was sticking to her sweaty forehead while whispering praises in her ear.

Aleksander’s body fell next to yours, and you smiled tiredly at him. His thumbs cleaned the already drying tears from your cheeks and you nuzzled your face against his rough palm. Then he looked at Alina, who was resting her head against your chest with an arm slumped across your stomach. She gave him another tiny smile and squeezed his hand, too tired to utter any words.

The two of you watched, entranced, as he used his shadows to blow out the candles. You were so used to seeing him use his powers to intimidate people or command their attention that you basked in these moments when he used them for something so simple.

When he laid back down, he sneaked an arm around your waist. His chest felt warm, and those three wretched words almost fell from his lips, but he swallowed them back. It felt weird, to say it aloud. He spent so long thinking that feelings and love were distractions, a weakness, that it almost felt wrong to say it. But he cared for you and Alina, he cared too much and he hoped you knew.

You did know, so you softly kissed his shoulder and Alina squeezed his hand one more time before the three of you closed your eyes and fell asleep, limbs tangled together.

—

Alina could remember a time when she was scared of the dark, when she learnt that darkness was in fact a place and that there was a person who could command it whenever he wanted. But now, she longed for it and the soft caresses that it hid.

TAGLIST: @gxtitobxby @amixedwitch @pansysgirlfriend —if you want to be tagged tap here

This is the fic I was talking about in my post

If you missed it here is a recap

*flashback*

You ever just find a fanfic that you really like at like 3 am, you don’t like it because you already liked it in the past and you also forget to reblog, then the next day you’re like “huh that was a really good fanfic I wanna read it again” and now suddenly it’s impossible to find it.

I really thought I was doomed

Thank you tumblr for letting me find this again

Aleksander gif: @lizzo Mal gif: @shadowandbone

Aleksander Morozova x Sun Summoner!reader x Mal Orestev

GENRE(S): ANGST, FLUFF

WARNING: cursing, nonsexual dubcon (?), small mentions of blood 

WORD COUNT: 3.7K

SUMMARY: You’re locked in your room when you refuse to take part in the Darkling’s plans to “change the world.”

Your room in the Little Palace was no longer a place of comfort. It was confinement. The curtains were drawn and could not be moved, so it always looked like the evening to you. You would only have a general idea of the time of day when Genya would swiftly open the door to leave your room. It was unclear if days or weeks had passed, but one thing was certain: your cabin fever had turned into insanity. You needed to see him. You begged for him, but stopped asking Genya once she stopped answering. Her task was only to come into your room three times a day and yours was to ignore everything she gave you until she left. You would only take small pieces of your food until you stopped shaking from hunger, but to Genya, you were not eating. This was your punishment for refusing the Darkling’s offer to change the world. 

Today, you were done picking at your plate so you focused on your hands. Spheres of light danced around your fingers and weaved in between your thumbs. It was like that for a while, until they snapped out of existence once the door rattled. The familiar sound of keys beating against each other had you shift your attention away from the door since the wall was much more interesting, anyway. Once the door opened, it closed quickly, and the room was silent again. Genya must have been there to retrieve your leftovers, but the sound of her grabbing the silverware never came. You did not want to seem interested, so you never peaked. You kept focusing on the details of the curtains and the intricate carvings on the table by the window. 

“You’re not eating,” Aleksander’s whispers traveled past your ears. You wanted to see him, but you did not want to bring him satisfaction. You both stood there in the darkness as you both pretended not to hear each other breathing. 

“Why?” You questioned. You had not spoken for a while, and it was clear in the strain and shake in your voice. 

“I gave you the option to rule with me,” he said, but this time he sounded closer. 

“No, you didn’t,” you said. 

“Remember, you’re free to go back home if you ask.” 

“At the expense of Mal’s safety!” You roughly tucked your hands into each other. 

“You made that decision.” His voice came out very flat. 

You slowly turned your neck enough to see his chest in your peripheral vision. “You’re good at lying.” You gave him the same flat tone you received. 

“I never–-” His boots beat against the wooden floor until they came to the other side of your bed. You saw how well crafted they were as you avoided his gaze. “Once we grew closer, I regretted it immediately.” He paused for a moment before he said, “may you please look at me?” 

“What made you even think I would ever agree to–-” your anger was interrupted. 

“It’s the only remedy to the structure of this society.” His voice rose for a second before it instantly went back down. His fingers reached for your chin and you snapped it away. The atmosphere was tense as the air was filled with all the words that were just said. There was more silence until you felt brave enough to speak. 

“Is Mal still okay?” you whispered. 

Keep reading

How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn't see their reflection

I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue

can you please talk about the 'make me your villain' line?

Well I don’t know what exactly you want me to talk about in regards to it, so I’ll just share some of the Thoughts I have on the line and it’s context! I’m incredibly fond of the way the scene is portrayed in the show and how it differs from the one in the books, so I’ll be delving into that a bit as I go along.

(There are some gifs of the scene below, so tw body horror for Alina’s antlers and mild mentions of abuse. Also sorry in advance to Nonny for talking about the whole scene instead of just the line.)

I think the best thing about this scene in particular is how much it reveals about the characters and their relationship dynamics, especially when considering the acting choices that went into both Aleksander and Alina.

In the show, Alina is sharp and angry - confrontational - whereas in the books, she’s a lot more passive. In both the books and the show, Aleksander defends himself to Alina. He wants her to understand him. He wants her to remain by his side. But the way it plays out and his reasons for doing so are wildly different between the medias.

In the books, it’s Alina that’s brought to the Darkling’s tent. He’s already sitting down and tells Alina to do so as well. She complies warily but remains silent, and in fact doesn’t speak at all until he finally orders her to. Yet still, she refuses to talk about anything important. It’s the Darkling that brings up Mal and it’s Mal the discussion revolves around for the vast majority of the conversation. The Darkling is in control the entire time, relaxed and calm, drinking kvas as he runs Alina in circles and threatens the other man. Almost the entirety of their conversation is made up of Alina scrambling to regain control, both in regards to Mal and herself. She’s the one pleading and begging and trying to gain any foothold she can. Alina doesn’t even challenge the Darkling or push him to defend himself until the conversation turns to that of it’s own accord.

Then when the conversation does turn from Mal to how the Darkling betrayed her, their disagreement becomes a very brief back and forth. The Darkling gets exasperated and frustrated and angry with Alina for not understanding. The conversation barely focuses on their romantic relationship and instead on his plans, on Ravka’s future, on how her power is useful, on his own “greed for power” and his intention to rule. There’s hardly any mention of his goal to free the Grisha. Throughout the conversation, the Darkling’s façade cracks but he remains largely dismissive and condescending, cruel and calculating, uncaring and unremorseful. The parts of the conversation that do focus on their relationship that Alina brings up don’t do so for long, and are turned back on her as an argument.

Compare that to the Darkling in the show coming to Alina in her lavish tent and immediately praising her. They’re both standing, and Alina has no qualms about not only talking immediately but also making demands, a big contrast to how the Alina in the books wanted to “remain diplomatic”. In the show, it’s Alina that brings up Mal, only to have him immediately dismissed as a subject when the conversation instead centers entirely around how betrayed Alina feels.

It’s Alina that sits first before the Darkling and then stands first. It’s the Darkling that sits while Alina stands, him that pleads with her to understand why he did what he did. It’s Alina that holds the power as the Darkling scrambles. It’s her that challenges him without prompting and demands explanations and truths and reasons. Her that turns the conversation back on him.

The issues brought up in the conversation are different as well. The Darkling has a whole passionate speech about how the Grisha are persecuted and how he did it to save them. He gets frustrated with Alina for not understanding but instead of being dismissive or angry he gets upset and even more erratic, clearly desperate for her to remain by his side. The conversation focuses more on Alina and Grisha suffering and their relationship instead of his “greed for power”. It focuses on how he did it “for us” instead of for Ravka. How he did it “to help us” and he mentions “you and me” and doing things “together”. The entire scene centers around their relationship and the balance between them, the hurt and betrayal and desperation and his need for them to stay together and understand each other. Even if those emotions are sometimes used as a means of manipulation, that doesn’t make them any less genuine. The Darkling is very open and emotional and vulnerable in this scene. And he’s making himself vulnerable to Alina.

It’s two entirely separate power dynamics. And with such different characterizations and relationships, the meanings of the scenes change.

Now, I really love the way the show portrays the line so I’ll talk a bit more about that for a bit. First, some context.

Here’s Aleksander defending himself:

He’s revealing a lot to Alina with this line. Telling her how the fold was unintentional, how it’s affected him. He’s speaking angrily and passionately, he’s expressing himself a lot here, clearly worked up and desperate for her to understand.

The pain he feels at the use of the Fold by his oppressors is genuine and understandable. He created the Fold to protect his people when they were persecuted. He intended to make an army to save his people and instead by mistake made the Fold. It was an act of desperation because of the Otkazat’sya hunting and persecuting his kind. It was created because of centuries of oppression and generational trauma. The fact that West Ravka has been making a habit of giving Grisha to the Druskelle because the Fold gives them no oversight and the fact that the king of Ravka uses the Fold to exploit thousands must be genuinely upsetting to him. And he’s admitting that to Alina. Not only that, but he’s telling her honestly that he hadn’t intended for it to become what it did.

Most importantly, however, him defending himself here so openly and emotionally is a sign of how much he wants her get it - how much he wants her to take his side. People don’t defend their actions to someone this much and this passionately unless both the reasoning behind the actions and the person they’re addressing are important to them.

Next, we have Aleksander entreating Alina and pleading with her:

He’s asking her to rely on him, to take his hand, to trust him, to understand him, to stay by his side. Most importantly, he’s asking her to be his other half. He’s asking her to accept him. He’s pulling her closer, meeting her eyes, grasping her hands, touching her. The way he leans down when he speaks, the earnest curl of his shoulders, how he honestly believes that the only way they can do this is together and how more than that he wants it to be so.

This is a request. I’d say it was begging but then I’d probably get shadow sliced in my sleep.

Again, he’s appealing to her. He’s making no move to hide what he’s feeling or step back, instead coming in closer and making himself vulnerable. Communicating his emotions in the hopes that they’ll help change her mind. He wants her to stay, and not only to stay but to do so willingly and in full (or more likely at least partial - just enough) acceptance of him.

The way he looks at her in the first gif is him realizing he needs to make more of an emotional appeal. That he needs to commit to this - to finish the full admission and put himself out there as much as he’s asking her to do. It isn’t just her needing him, it’s him needing her.

This part is definitely begging man idk what to tell you.

Now next is the rejection and realization:

Alina pulls away first. She distances herself and shakes her head and protects her chest. She removes his hand from her body. She rejects him.

In turn, Aleksander adds a degree of separation between them as a means of self defense. Right now he’s calculating and dealing with the rejection. He’s hurt and protecting himself, as Alina is doing. Most importantly (to me at least) is that he doesn’t pursue her. He backs away when she backs away, likely because he’s upset, but also I think for a few other reasons that I’ll get into in a moment.

This is the hurt and rejection and heartbreak turning into realization and acceptance. It’s about to be resolve.

Then he says the line:

and then he does this:

First of all, it’s so good!! I love this line so much I would literally die for it. Anon if this was in reality what you wanted me to talk about, here it is: I think Ben Barnes is a spectacular actor and I think he’s taken Aleksander to a whole nother level and I think this line is a masterpiece of acting. His micro-expressions are on point and he’s captured the essence of Aleksander’s character in the show so well and the dramatic way he says it is award worthy. The nose scrunch is adorable of course, and the look he gets in the last gif is *chef’s kiss* beautiful. I absolutely adore the emotions conveyed here. He’s emotional and bitter and angry, but most importantly he’s resolved.

And that’s what I love. The last six gifs, from the moment he’s rejected and he realizes there’s no redemption, are representative of the way he commits and self destructs - the way he feels as if there’s no other option and decides this is the only road he can go down.

With the fold, he didn’t intend to make it, but he now sees it as useful, even if he occasionally regrets it. This is the same thing. He regrets it, but what is done is done. He doesn’t see a way to redeem himself and so accepts the circumstances and acts on them. It’s very much a “this might as well happen now” mentality paired with an opportunistic mindset. Why not use the fold now that he’s created it? Regret or not, intentional or not. Why not keep going downhill with his plans now that Alina has shown him he can’t come back from it? Even if he regrets losing her, even if he wants to change things.

Aleksander has been doing what he’s doing for a long time. Change is hard. But it’s especially hard when you’ve done the same thing for centuries. He’s on a path and he’s going to go down it until he dies. That’s what he thinks needs to happen because he sees no other way. No other way has ever been presented to him. And when so many of one’s habits and ways of living have been born of trauma, they become even harder to shake. And idk, I just think that’s a neat part of his character. I think it’s interesting. And I think it might have potential if the writers do him justice.

Also, the “make me your villain" line here is so achingly emotional, it’s the literal exact opposite of how it happens in the books, which is straight up dismissive.

Here’s an excerpt:

He slumped back in his chair. “Fine,” he said with a weary shrug. “Make me your villain.”

Which is very book!Darkling tbh. It’s also in the middle of the scene. He doesn’t leave afterwards. It isn’t the fall of the axe, it’s his resignation to Alina’s stubborn ignorance. It’s him leaving an argument in a very “agree to disagree” manner. He’s exasperated by Alina’s behavior, not agonized over it. In the show, the line is dropped before he leaves. It’s the break of an emotional buildup, the last line of pained resignation for something he cares deeply about but can’t hope to win. It’s his response to rejection and pain.

The two scenes really couldn’t be more different, but I adore them both tbh.

Anyways, that’s just a few thoughts on the scene. Here are another few highlights though:

Alina in the books is very passive and trying not to goad him in this scene. She calls it “being diplomatic”. It's so different from how show Alina treats the situation that I could die.

His response to “you lied to me” in the books is completely different from the one in the show. “Don’t pretend this is about Ravka’s welfare. You lied to me. You’ve been lying to me since the moment I met you.” His long fingers tightened around the glass. “Did you deserve my trust?” he asked, and for once, his voice was less than steady and cold. “Baghra whispers a few accusations in your ear, and off you go. Did you ever stop to think of what it would mean for me, for all of Ravka, if you just disappeared?” Strangely enough, for how emotional he is in the show, he actually gets more emotional about it in the books. That could be for a number of reasons, but the scenes played out so differently I thought it was worth mentioning. Plus I love both responses so much.

The below line is interesting I think in that it lightly parallels the scene in the show when the collar’s getting put on her. it’s the only time in the show aside from micro-expressions where we actually get to explore how much Alina not wanting her powers hurt him. “That isn’t fair.” “Fairness!” he laughed. “Still she talks of fairness. What does fairness have to do with any of this? The people curse my name and pray for you, but you’re the one who was ready to abandon them.” Of course, the abandonment is referencing a few things about Alina and not just a single quote she made a while ago, but since the show is so much faster than the books, those two quotes are the only things that much up. Alina in the show says she doesn’t want her powers and then he mentions it about four episodes later when he’s taking those powers from her.

“Baghra whispers a few accusations in your ear, and off you go. Did you ever stop to think of what it would mean for me, for all of Ravka, if you just disappeared?” - Kinda reminds me of the “you matter - to eVeRyOnE” scene in the show ngl.

Someone get show Aleksander some kvas, how come book Aleksander is the one that gets all the nice things?

Poor Alina, she looks so hurt I just want to give her a hug. Although I think it’s interesting how they’ve changed the antlers in the show. I think lore-wise it’s cooler and actually makes more sense, but since I also think the reason they did it probably didn’t have as much to do with lore as depicting Darklina as “horrifying” I’m not that into it.

When I first got into SaB I got spoiled for the Darkling’s character and read all this stuff about he was abusive and awful, so I went into the show expecting to hate him and hate Darklina. I watched about six episodes with that mindset but couldn’t really resist the pull of the ship, so when he first said the “make me your villain” line I was very conflicted. I read it as an abuser blaming his victim. It felt uncomfortable. Now, however, after watching the show so many times and reading the books, it’s easier for me to examine the intricacies of the scene in more detail and realize it isn’t like that at all. I think the emotional complexity of the line in the show vs the total brutality of it in the books is brilliant, and I love how much it conveys about his character in both aspects.

Still though every time I watch the scene now I picture the meme of that skit where the guy shoots someone and then goes “oh, why did [somebody else] do this?”

Alina’s reluctance to engage with the Darkling about his reasons and motivations in the books vs her desire to do so in the show is so incredibly compelling to me. The below book quote is Alina when she’s refusing to speak. It’s so viscerally different from how the scene plays out in the show, and of course I have tons of explanations and theories, but I don’t want to make this post a million miles long lol. It’s just a very honorable mention cause I love it. “I have nothing to say.” “I imagine you have a great deal to say.” “If I tell you to stop, you won’t stop. If I tell you you’re mad, you won’t believe me. Why should I bother?”

“I’ve had enough of your lies.” “And what lies are those?” - Alina, pulling out a fifty mile long scroll of grievances: Well, for starters-

Aleksander’s look of confusion in the show during half of this scene makes me simultaneously want to hug him and slap him and laugh in his face.

“You spun all this guilt around your burden, the sins of your father. There was no father” - Idk why this cracks me up so much but I DIE every time I hear it. “there was no father” lakjsdlfkjas yeah there sure wasn’t.

I love how she asks him about his plans to usurp the throne in the show and he just goes dead silent like a kid about to get scolded if he reveals the truth. In the books he has no problems just straight up admitting to it without hesitation lmfao.

Parallels but not really (show then books) : “I could have made the Grisha safe but you never gave me a choice." “Perhaps” “Baghra whispers a few accusations in your ear, and off you go. Did you ever stop to think of what it would mean for me, for all of Ravka, if you just disappeared?” “You didn’t give me much choice.” “Of course you had a choice. And you chose to turn your back on your country, on everything that you are.” Last line on the above quote is also a parallel to the one he says in the skiff scene in the show, right before he gets tracker tackled into the fold like a little bitch.

Kinda weird that book Alina just assumes he’ll be a tyrant of a ruler when up until now he’s been a very reasonable and actually highly competent one.

“He reached out and touched Morozova’s collar, letting his long fingers spread over the rough bone, then slide up my neck to cradle my face with one hand. I felt a jolt of revulsion, but I also felt the sure, intoxicating force of him. I hated that it still had an effect on me.” Again, in the show it’s Alina that grabs his hand and puts it on her chest. In the show, he initiates hand holding contact, and she’s the one that brings his hand to her chest to feel the collar. Is this because show Aleksander is more horrified by what he’s done? Book Aleksander doesn’t seem to care and in fact seems to like it, so I suppose he’d touch it willingly. I don’t think show Aleksander wants to touch it or look at it, I think what he did to her disturbs him. So is her bringing his hand up to her collar a way of saying “face what you’ve done? This is why I can’t forgive you?”

The way he admits in the show that “I never intended for it to be the blight it’s become” is so strange to me because it’s very soft amidst all of the other extreme emotions. First he’s extremely cold and then he’s extremely hot, but this line is just... soft and honest. It feels like the most real line in the entire scene. I think it might actually be true regret.

“Fine. Make me your villain,” is one of Aleksander’s least manipulative lines idk why people seem to think it’s him being so villainous. It’s the epitome of “there’s nothing more I can do here. bye.”

The difference between priorities in the show and the book really is so fascinating though. Him mentioning that he’s doing this for them in the show while in the books he admits clearly to doing it for Ravka is so wild. The scene in the show really does have a lot more romantic overtones.

I think it's notable that book Aleksander wants her to understand him and fill his loneliness just as much as show Aleksander, but in the books he values the means and circumstances of her cooperation a lot differently than show Aleksander does. Book Aleksander doesn't really care that she's upset with him - not to a great extent, at least. Whereas show Aleksander cares very much.

THE CROWS + tumblr text posts

Masterlist

Refer to the About Me section of my blog for the things I write about. 

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Find my prompts list here!

Loki Laufeyson

Series

Mischief & Trickery

Summary: Medea Daegandottir, the Goddess of Trickery, loves spicing things up in the Asgardian palace. Adding her best friend Loki into the mix could only bring more chaos. What could possibly go wrong? The answer, many things. 

CURRENTLY UNDER RECONSTRUCTION!

Oneshots

Three Words; Fifteen Letters; One Expletive 

Summary: Where best friends may, in fact, fall for best friends. 

Into The MCU | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Summary: As an inventor, you try to create a device that allows you to shift realities. What happens when you land into the MCU?

You’re Stuck With Me Now! 

Summary: Because the compound is in chaos, you venture off to your room and find something that you weren’t meant to. Safe to say that you are now officially Loki’s problem.

Drunken Words

Summary: If there was one thing that could always get on your nerves, it would be what the press had dubbed ‘Stark Parties’. And, as residents of the Avengers Tower, it was mandatory for you and Loki to attend. So, what else could you guys do besides get plastered and reveal all your secrets?

You Tell Her, or I Will

Summary: After many years watching them both mutually pine over each other, Thor has finally had enough, and forces his dear brother Loki to confess his feelings to Y/n.

Accidental Confessions

Summary: After a mission to collect a special vile, the team unwinds on the quinjet back to the Tower. What happens when Tony decides that it was a good idea to unleash whatever was inside?

Tom Hiddleston 

Oneshots

Fanfiction

Summary: After another successful Avengers Film, the cast get together to celebrate. However, after being caught reading fanfiction about a certain actor who plays a mischievous norse god, your friends will do nothing but try and get you two together.

Almost Too Late!

Summary: Going into labour is not fun. But what makes it worse, is that Tom is out for a boys night with the rest of the Marvel cast…and you can’t reach him. What else could go wrong?

James Conrad (coming soon)

Benedict Cumberbatch (coming soon)

Doctor Strange 

Oneshots

You’ve Been Here All This Time?

Summary: Y/n hasn’t heard from her soulmate in years and eventually learned to live with the fact that sometimes soulmates aren’t meant to be. What happens when she writes one last message to hers while living at the Sanctum?

Oops…?

Summary: What problems could a problematic witch cause at the Avengers Tower? The answer is all of them. So, when you’re in dire need to do some witchy things, the Avengers ship you off to the Sanctum, in hopes that Strange can keep an eye on you. But what happens when everything still goes wrong?

Sleepy Realisations

Summary: Realising that you have a crush on the egotistical Dr. Stephen Strange was not something you were expecting to happen during the middle of your shift. So what’s the best thing to do: ignore him. And it works…well, it works until Stephen corners you.

Tony Was Wrong.

Request: I really like this make more pls maybe where Tony’s sister comes back after years and meets dr. strange and they warm up to each other and later confess 

Practice Makes Perfect

Summary: After a spell gone wrong, all the Avengers somehow end up as toddlers, and babysitting nine super-humans and two gods isn’t easy. So, you call up your boyfriend for help…after all, practice makes perfect.

BBC Sherlock Holmes (coming soon)

He is a morally gray character and nothing anyone says or does can change that

That’s all have a good day

The way some people in this fandom react to the Darkling being called morally grey is so fucking funny.

Unfaithful

Yelena belova and SirenFem Reader.

Y/N is a rare Creature that you only hear about in stories like Sirens who lead sailors to the death there only made up right....wrong so what happens when the Siren catches the attention of one black widow.

=================================

Y/N is attending one of Tony's famous gala parties just so he can show her off much to pepper's dismay.

So She wonders to the bar for a drink after downing her 4th shot of vodka she spots a piano so she wonders over and being's to play.

"Story of my life, searching for the right But it keeps avoiding me Sorrow in my soul 'cause it seems that wrong Really loves my company"

Everyone turns to look at Y/N playing and singing as they all stop what there doing.

"She's more than a woman and this is more than love the reason that the sky is blue the clouds are rolling in because I'm gone again"

When Yelena walks in the room she wonders what everyone is looking at so she follows there gaze and she sees why her first thought is her face is full of pain.

"And to her, I just can't be true And I know that she knows I'm unfaithful And it kills her inside To know that I am happy with some other girl I can see her dying"

Yelena takes a seat her eyes never leaving this goddess playing piano she sees her features going pained as her heart goes into the next lyric.

"I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Every time I walk out the door I see her die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt her anymore I don't wanna take away her life"

Y/N eyes finds yelena's as she sings the next line staring into yelena's eyes and yelena only thought that was the sexiest thing she has ever seen.

"I don't wanna be a murderer"

Yelena takes a shot of vodka as she begins to walk towards the stage.

"I feel it in the air as I'm doin' my hair Preparing for another date A kiss upon my cheek as she reluctantly Asks if I'm gonna be out late I say I won't be long, just hanging with the girls A lie I didn't have to tell Because we both know where I'm about to go And we know it very well"

A tear falls down Y/N's cheek obviously feeling past pain of something that has happened that's still to fresh.

"Cause I know that she knows I'm unfaithful And it kills her inside To know that I am happy with some other Woman I can see her dying"

With each word Yelena's heart broke for the girl in front of her as she can know see the tears flow down her face.

"I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Every time I walk out the door I see her die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt her anymore I don't wanna take away her life I don't wanna be a murderer"

Yelena turned to Natasha seeing tears fill her sisters eyes as yelena scanned the room to see everyone with tears in there eyes.

"Our love, her trust I might as well take a gun and put it to her head Get it over with I don't wanna do this anymore Whoa, anymore And I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why And every time I walk out the door I see her die a little more inside And I don't wanna hurt her anymore"

Yelena's attention turned back to the girl she seems to have taken a breath then turned into a whisper as she turned to fury with sadness and anger in her eyes as she continued.

"I don't wanna take away her life I don't wanna be a murderer A murderer No, no, no Yeah, yeah"

With that she finishes and wipes her eyes as she gets off the stage Yelena went to go and speak with her but before she could she approaches fury.

"I'm Done...im not gonna be your little puppet I can't... I had to hurt the only person who cares for me when you wanted me to seduce her for information that was a 6 month job and in those 6 months I was in national city I fell for Alex"

Y/N takes a breath feeling fresh tears but she held them back and looked at fury once more.

" It was your job Agent Y/L/N and if people get hurt so be it....its what you were born for do you really think someone could truly love a siren who in myths lead good people to there deaths by there voice and beauty you simply done what you do in books thats all or do I have to remind you who saved you from the circus"

Y/N shook her head as she slapped fury across the face tears know streaming down her face as she looked at him.

"What you made me do I would have been more merciful if you put a gun in my hand and I shot her then what you made me do.....at least when I was at the circus yes I was a abused but at least no one got hurt except me"

Y/N turned to walk away but before she did she turned to fury once more.

"You know nick you called yourself my saviour when you freed me....you couldn't have been more wrong you were the devil in a mask offering me your hand but instead of going to a better place you dragged me to hell for eternal torment....I wish you had shot me it would have been kinder.......your no hero....your the villain"

With that Y/N walked away as everyone turned to nick who stood there with no emotion on his face when yelena spoke up.

"You know it is people like you that cause these beautiful creatures to stay hidden because they know you will exploit them dipshit....oh and one more thing"

Yelena pulls out her gun on fury and points it at him as everyone is shocked and there unsure of what to do as they don't want things to escalate.

"I will not be your Black Widow I will not be an Avenger so long as your in charge so go fuck yourself"

With that yelena walks out to go and find the siren.