can you please talk about the 'make me your villain' line?
Well I don’t know what exactly you want me to talk about in regards to it, so I’ll just share some of the Thoughts I have on the line and it’s context! I’m incredibly fond of the way the scene is portrayed in the show and how it differs from the one in the books, so I’ll be delving into that a bit as I go along.
(There are some gifs of the scene below, so tw body horror for Alina’s antlers and mild mentions of abuse. Also sorry in advance to Nonny for talking about the whole scene instead of just the line.)
I think the best thing about this scene in particular is how much it reveals about the characters and their relationship dynamics, especially when considering the acting choices that went into both Aleksander and Alina.
In the show, Alina is sharp and angry - confrontational - whereas in the books, she’s a lot more passive. In both the books and the show, Aleksander defends himself to Alina. He wants her to understand him. He wants her to remain by his side. But the way it plays out and his reasons for doing so are wildly different between the medias.
In the books, it’s Alina that’s brought to the Darkling’s tent. He’s already sitting down and tells Alina to do so as well. She complies warily but remains silent, and in fact doesn’t speak at all until he finally orders her to. Yet still, she refuses to talk about anything important. It’s the Darkling that brings up Mal and it’s Mal the discussion revolves around for the vast majority of the conversation. The Darkling is in control the entire time, relaxed and calm, drinking kvas as he runs Alina in circles and threatens the other man. Almost the entirety of their conversation is made up of Alina scrambling to regain control, both in regards to Mal and herself. She’s the one pleading and begging and trying to gain any foothold she can. Alina doesn’t even challenge the Darkling or push him to defend himself until the conversation turns to that of it’s own accord.
Then when the conversation does turn from Mal to how the Darkling betrayed her, their disagreement becomes a very brief back and forth. The Darkling gets exasperated and frustrated and angry with Alina for not understanding. The conversation barely focuses on their romantic relationship and instead on his plans, on Ravka’s future, on how her power is useful, on his own “greed for power” and his intention to rule. There’s hardly any mention of his goal to free the Grisha. Throughout the conversation, the Darkling’s façade cracks but he remains largely dismissive and condescending, cruel and calculating, uncaring and unremorseful. The parts of the conversation that do focus on their relationship that Alina brings up don’t do so for long, and are turned back on her as an argument.
Compare that to the Darkling in the show coming to Alina in her lavish tent and immediately praising her. They’re both standing, and Alina has no qualms about not only talking immediately but also making demands, a big contrast to how the Alina in the books wanted to “remain diplomatic”. In the show, it’s Alina that brings up Mal, only to have him immediately dismissed as a subject when the conversation instead centers entirely around how betrayed Alina feels.
It’s Alina that sits first before the Darkling and then stands first. It’s the Darkling that sits while Alina stands, him that pleads with her to understand why he did what he did. It’s Alina that holds the power as the Darkling scrambles. It’s her that challenges him without prompting and demands explanations and truths and reasons. Her that turns the conversation back on him.
The issues brought up in the conversation are different as well. The Darkling has a whole passionate speech about how the Grisha are persecuted and how he did it to save them. He gets frustrated with Alina for not understanding but instead of being dismissive or angry he gets upset and even more erratic, clearly desperate for her to remain by his side. The conversation focuses more on Alina and Grisha suffering and their relationship instead of his “greed for power”. It focuses on how he did it “for us” instead of for Ravka. How he did it “to help us” and he mentions “you and me” and doing things “together”. The entire scene centers around their relationship and the balance between them, the hurt and betrayal and desperation and his need for them to stay together and understand each other. Even if those emotions are sometimes used as a means of manipulation, that doesn’t make them any less genuine. The Darkling is very open and emotional and vulnerable in this scene. And he’s making himself vulnerable to Alina.
It’s two entirely separate power dynamics. And with such different characterizations and relationships, the meanings of the scenes change.
Now, I really love the way the show portrays the line so I’ll talk a bit more about that for a bit. First, some context.
Here’s Aleksander defending himself:
He’s revealing a lot to Alina with this line. Telling her how the fold was unintentional, how it’s affected him. He’s speaking angrily and passionately, he’s expressing himself a lot here, clearly worked up and desperate for her to understand.
The pain he feels at the use of the Fold by his oppressors is genuine and understandable. He created the Fold to protect his people when they were persecuted. He intended to make an army to save his people and instead by mistake made the Fold. It was an act of desperation because of the Otkazat’sya hunting and persecuting his kind. It was created because of centuries of oppression and generational trauma. The fact that West Ravka has been making a habit of giving Grisha to the Druskelle because the Fold gives them no oversight and the fact that the king of Ravka uses the Fold to exploit thousands must be genuinely upsetting to him. And he’s admitting that to Alina. Not only that, but he’s telling her honestly that he hadn’t intended for it to become what it did.
Most importantly, however, him defending himself here so openly and emotionally is a sign of how much he wants her get it - how much he wants her to take his side. People don’t defend their actions to someone this much and this passionately unless both the reasoning behind the actions and the person they’re addressing are important to them.
Next, we have Aleksander entreating Alina and pleading with her:
He’s asking her to rely on him, to take his hand, to trust him, to understand him, to stay by his side. Most importantly, he’s asking her to be his other half. He’s asking her to accept him. He’s pulling her closer, meeting her eyes, grasping her hands, touching her. The way he leans down when he speaks, the earnest curl of his shoulders, how he honestly believes that the only way they can do this is together and how more than that he wants it to be so.
This is a request. I’d say it was begging but then I’d probably get shadow sliced in my sleep.
Again, he’s appealing to her. He’s making no move to hide what he’s feeling or step back, instead coming in closer and making himself vulnerable. Communicating his emotions in the hopes that they’ll help change her mind. He wants her to stay, and not only to stay but to do so willingly and in full (or more likely at least partial - just enough) acceptance of him.
The way he looks at her in the first gif is him realizing he needs to make more of an emotional appeal. That he needs to commit to this - to finish the full admission and put himself out there as much as he’s asking her to do. It isn’t just her needing him, it’s him needing her.
This part is definitely begging man idk what to tell you.
Now next is the rejection and realization:
Alina pulls away first. She distances herself and shakes her head and protects her chest. She removes his hand from her body. She rejects him.
In turn, Aleksander adds a degree of separation between them as a means of self defense. Right now he’s calculating and dealing with the rejection. He’s hurt and protecting himself, as Alina is doing. Most importantly (to me at least) is that he doesn’t pursue her. He backs away when she backs away, likely because he’s upset, but also I think for a few other reasons that I’ll get into in a moment.
This is the hurt and rejection and heartbreak turning into realization and acceptance. It’s about to be resolve.
Then he says the line:
and then he does this:
First of all, it’s so good!! I love this line so much I would literally die for it. Anon if this was in reality what you wanted me to talk about, here it is: I think Ben Barnes is a spectacular actor and I think he’s taken Aleksander to a whole nother level and I think this line is a masterpiece of acting. His micro-expressions are on point and he’s captured the essence of Aleksander’s character in the show so well and the dramatic way he says it is award worthy. The nose scrunch is adorable of course, and the look he gets in the last gif is *chef’s kiss* beautiful. I absolutely adore the emotions conveyed here. He’s emotional and bitter and angry, but most importantly he’s resolved.
And that’s what I love. The last six gifs, from the moment he’s rejected and he realizes there’s no redemption, are representative of the way he commits and self destructs - the way he feels as if there’s no other option and decides this is the only road he can go down.
With the fold, he didn’t intend to make it, but he now sees it as useful, even if he occasionally regrets it. This is the same thing. He regrets it, but what is done is done. He doesn’t see a way to redeem himself and so accepts the circumstances and acts on them. It’s very much a “this might as well happen now” mentality paired with an opportunistic mindset. Why not use the fold now that he’s created it? Regret or not, intentional or not. Why not keep going downhill with his plans now that Alina has shown him he can’t come back from it? Even if he regrets losing her, even if he wants to change things.
Aleksander has been doing what he’s doing for a long time. Change is hard. But it’s especially hard when you’ve done the same thing for centuries. He’s on a path and he’s going to go down it until he dies. That’s what he thinks needs to happen because he sees no other way. No other way has ever been presented to him. And when so many of one’s habits and ways of living have been born of trauma, they become even harder to shake. And idk, I just think that’s a neat part of his character. I think it’s interesting. And I think it might have potential if the writers do him justice.
Also, the “make me your villain" line here is so achingly emotional, it’s the literal exact opposite of how it happens in the books, which is straight up dismissive.
Here’s an excerpt:
He slumped back in his chair. “Fine,” he said with a weary shrug. “Make me your villain.”
Which is very book!Darkling tbh. It’s also in the middle of the scene. He doesn’t leave afterwards. It isn’t the fall of the axe, it’s his resignation to Alina’s stubborn ignorance. It’s him leaving an argument in a very “agree to disagree” manner. He’s exasperated by Alina’s behavior, not agonized over it. In the show, the line is dropped before he leaves. It’s the break of an emotional buildup, the last line of pained resignation for something he cares deeply about but can’t hope to win. It’s his response to rejection and pain.
The two scenes really couldn’t be more different, but I adore them both tbh.
Anyways, that’s just a few thoughts on the scene. Here are another few highlights though:
Alina in the books is very passive and trying not to goad him in this scene. She calls it “being diplomatic”. It's so different from how show Alina treats the situation that I could die.
His response to “you lied to me” in the books is completely different from the one in the show. “Don’t pretend this is about Ravka’s welfare. You lied to me. You’ve been lying to me since the moment I met you.” His long fingers tightened around the glass. “Did you deserve my trust?” he asked, and for once, his voice was less than steady and cold. “Baghra whispers a few accusations in your ear, and off you go. Did you ever stop to think of what it would mean for me, for all of Ravka, if you just disappeared?” Strangely enough, for how emotional he is in the show, he actually gets more emotional about it in the books. That could be for a number of reasons, but the scenes played out so differently I thought it was worth mentioning. Plus I love both responses so much.
The below line is interesting I think in that it lightly parallels the scene in the show when the collar’s getting put on her. it’s the only time in the show aside from micro-expressions where we actually get to explore how much Alina not wanting her powers hurt him. “That isn’t fair.” “Fairness!” he laughed. “Still she talks of fairness. What does fairness have to do with any of this? The people curse my name and pray for you, but you’re the one who was ready to abandon them.” Of course, the abandonment is referencing a few things about Alina and not just a single quote she made a while ago, but since the show is so much faster than the books, those two quotes are the only things that much up. Alina in the show says she doesn’t want her powers and then he mentions it about four episodes later when he’s taking those powers from her.
“Baghra whispers a few accusations in your ear, and off you go. Did you ever stop to think of what it would mean for me, for all of Ravka, if you just disappeared?” - Kinda reminds me of the “you matter - to eVeRyOnE” scene in the show ngl.
Someone get show Aleksander some kvas, how come book Aleksander is the one that gets all the nice things?
Poor Alina, she looks so hurt I just want to give her a hug. Although I think it’s interesting how they’ve changed the antlers in the show. I think lore-wise it’s cooler and actually makes more sense, but since I also think the reason they did it probably didn’t have as much to do with lore as depicting Darklina as “horrifying” I’m not that into it.
When I first got into SaB I got spoiled for the Darkling’s character and read all this stuff about he was abusive and awful, so I went into the show expecting to hate him and hate Darklina. I watched about six episodes with that mindset but couldn’t really resist the pull of the ship, so when he first said the “make me your villain” line I was very conflicted. I read it as an abuser blaming his victim. It felt uncomfortable. Now, however, after watching the show so many times and reading the books, it’s easier for me to examine the intricacies of the scene in more detail and realize it isn’t like that at all. I think the emotional complexity of the line in the show vs the total brutality of it in the books is brilliant, and I love how much it conveys about his character in both aspects.
Still though every time I watch the scene now I picture the meme of that skit where the guy shoots someone and then goes “oh, why did [somebody else] do this?”
Alina’s reluctance to engage with the Darkling about his reasons and motivations in the books vs her desire to do so in the show is so incredibly compelling to me. The below book quote is Alina when she’s refusing to speak. It’s so viscerally different from how the scene plays out in the show, and of course I have tons of explanations and theories, but I don’t want to make this post a million miles long lol. It’s just a very honorable mention cause I love it. “I have nothing to say.” “I imagine you have a great deal to say.” “If I tell you to stop, you won’t stop. If I tell you you’re mad, you won’t believe me. Why should I bother?”
“I’ve had enough of your lies.” “And what lies are those?” - Alina, pulling out a fifty mile long scroll of grievances: Well, for starters-
Aleksander’s look of confusion in the show during half of this scene makes me simultaneously want to hug him and slap him and laugh in his face.
“You spun all this guilt around your burden, the sins of your father. There was no father” - Idk why this cracks me up so much but I DIE every time I hear it. “there was no father” lakjsdlfkjas yeah there sure wasn’t.
I love how she asks him about his plans to usurp the throne in the show and he just goes dead silent like a kid about to get scolded if he reveals the truth. In the books he has no problems just straight up admitting to it without hesitation lmfao.
Parallels but not really (show then books) : “I could have made the Grisha safe but you never gave me a choice." “Perhaps” “Baghra whispers a few accusations in your ear, and off you go. Did you ever stop to think of what it would mean for me, for all of Ravka, if you just disappeared?” “You didn’t give me much choice.” “Of course you had a choice. And you chose to turn your back on your country, on everything that you are.” Last line on the above quote is also a parallel to the one he says in the skiff scene in the show, right before he gets tracker tackled into the fold like a little bitch.
Kinda weird that book Alina just assumes he’ll be a tyrant of a ruler when up until now he’s been a very reasonable and actually highly competent one.
“He reached out and touched Morozova’s collar, letting his long fingers spread over the rough bone, then slide up my neck to cradle my face with one hand. I felt a jolt of revulsion, but I also felt the sure, intoxicating force of him. I hated that it still had an effect on me.” Again, in the show it’s Alina that grabs his hand and puts it on her chest. In the show, he initiates hand holding contact, and she’s the one that brings his hand to her chest to feel the collar. Is this because show Aleksander is more horrified by what he’s done? Book Aleksander doesn’t seem to care and in fact seems to like it, so I suppose he’d touch it willingly. I don’t think show Aleksander wants to touch it or look at it, I think what he did to her disturbs him. So is her bringing his hand up to her collar a way of saying “face what you’ve done? This is why I can’t forgive you?”
The way he admits in the show that “I never intended for it to be the blight it’s become” is so strange to me because it’s very soft amidst all of the other extreme emotions. First he’s extremely cold and then he’s extremely hot, but this line is just... soft and honest. It feels like the most real line in the entire scene. I think it might actually be true regret.
“Fine. Make me your villain,” is one of Aleksander’s least manipulative lines idk why people seem to think it’s him being so villainous. It’s the epitome of “there’s nothing more I can do here. bye.”
The difference between priorities in the show and the book really is so fascinating though. Him mentioning that he’s doing this for them in the show while in the books he admits clearly to doing it for Ravka is so wild. The scene in the show really does have a lot more romantic overtones.
I think it's notable that book Aleksander wants her to understand him and fill his loneliness just as much as show Aleksander, but in the books he values the means and circumstances of her cooperation a lot differently than show Aleksander does. Book Aleksander doesn't really care that she's upset with him - not to a great extent, at least. Whereas show Aleksander cares very much.
Part I here
Billy Russo x Reader
NSFW
Warnings: oral sex, rough unprotected sex, slightly dubious consent, Billy being that asshole.
MY MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE
Billy never thought he would feel like that again.
Back when he was serving overseas with Frank and Curt, he was swift, silent, deadly. He was strong and fearless, he was damn near invincible, and he knew it, knew he was exceptional. But ever since he had woken up chained to that hospital bed, all he had felt, all that he knew anymore was pain, and shame, and that inescapable fear coloring his every waking moment. Even as he killed that asshole from the bus and Arthur, it hadn't been like before. He was just a beat-up, rabid dog lashing out. He was a revenant, a shadow of what he used to be.
And that was what he saw, when he looked at himself in your bathroom mirror, a monster, with every bad thing he had ever done written all over his face. That was the reason he was okay with the pitying looks Dr. Dumont was always throwing his way, he thought that was the best he could expect in his new reality. But that wasn't pity in your eyes when you ran into him shirtless in your bathroom. It wasn't disgust either.
It was desire.
Billy used to be familiar enough with it to recognize that look, the way your breath hitched, the obvious flush to your cheeks as he held your gaze. And he might have been broken, but he wasn't blind, he could see you were beautiful, the kind of understated beauty who didn't even know the effect she had on people. After all, there was no denying the effect you had had on him when you had opened your door like that, barefooted and hair disheveled, naked legs on display in the tiniest cotton shorts he had ever seen. He had simply shoved it down, pushed it aside, another item in the long list of things he could never have again.
Except now he was beginning to understand perhaps he could, and he was nothing if not an opportunist, if a chance presented itself, he would grab it and hold onto it with both hands.
Far from discouraged when you stepped back as he took a step towards you, he took a second one, and then another, extending his hand to push the bathroom door closed and cage you against it.
“Going somewhere, little girl?”
Your throat wobbled as you swallowed hard, the small movement drawing his attention to the soft collum of your neck, too tempting for his fingers not to follow his eyes.
So much for the impulse control your dear sister was trying to instill into him.
“Are you scared?” it was a valid question, he could feel your pulse, beating fast as a hummingbird against his fingertips, but you shook your head no. He smiled, “Brave girl… I think you deserve a treat, don't you?”
Billy didn't wait for your reply before crashing his lips to yours a little harder than he intended, but you were so soft, so pliant under his hands and your mouth tasted so sweet his self-control, feeble to begin with, didn't stand a chance. Soon as you parted your lips -for him or for air, Billy couldn't say he cared- he shoved his tongue into your mouth, chasing the sweetness, the warmth.
“You taste so good,” he murmured against your jawline when you parted for oxygen, “wonder if you taste this good everywhere…”
“What's stopping you?” You dared, turning your head to capture his lips again, obviously eager. It made Billy's blood sing, the little reminder that you wanted him as much as he wanted you. Boldened, he let his hands roam down your body, alternatively feeling and squeezing, exploring, till they finally reached the bottom of your oversized Kate Bush t-shirt and lifted it over your head.
“Fuck!” The awed curse escaped his mouth before he could stop it when he finally got a full, unobstructed view of your breasts, making you giggle. It was so fucking endearing he almost giggled himself, giddy at the sight of your smile. “Shut up” why did his cheeks feel so hot? “Its been a while, and these are fucking glorious”
You only chuckled again, so he buried his face in your chest, licking and nibbling, effectively shutting you up. The moan that left your lips as he latched into a nipple sent sparks straight to his dick. He quickly decided it didn't even matter if you came to your senses before letting him fuck you, he would gladly jerk off for the rest of his life to the lovely little sounds you were making. So, he moved to show your other nipple the same attention, softly caressing around the other with his thumb, lest it felt neglected. It seemed to be the right move, because Billy could feel as you slowly relaxed under his hands. He took full advantage of it, trailing wet kisses lower and lower until he was on his knees in front of you.
It was your turn to curse as his hot mouth made contact with your clothed crotch, making him smirk in satisfaction. He had planned to tease you like that for a while, but the liquid fire in your eyes as he looked up to see your face convinced him otherwise; to watch you fall apart for him was a far more tempting prospect.
Keeping eye contact, he hooked his fingers to the waistband of your shorts, a silent request for consent, which you gave with a nod. Billy didn't waste a second after that, getting rid of both your shorts and underwear in a single move.
The first taste of you was heavenly. You didn't taste like strawberries or pineapple, a fruit-flavored pussy didn't exist, but he could have spent his life sipping up that slightly tangy, almost cloying sweetness of yours. He didn't think you would be opposed to the idea, if your thrown back head and soft noises leaving your lips were anything to go by. He took hold of your leg, manhandling you until your thigh was over his shoulder to get better access before flattening his tongue to your slit, enjoying your surprised gasp. He switched to lightly grazing your clit with the tip of his tongue, immediately causing your hand to fly to the back of his head, trying and failing to find purchase to force him to press his face to your cunt, but he complied anyway, giving you exactly what you wanted.
Hands around your hips to keep you steady, Billy ravished you with his tongue, as far as he could go, imitating what he wanted to do with his cock, as you whimpered and trembled above him.
“Billy… please” It was the first time Billy heard you say his name, and it did something to his insides.
“What do you want, pretty girl?” He asked while stroking your labia with his thumb, spreading the wetness to your clit just so he could start rubbing circles around it. It had the intended effect, accelerating your breathing, and making it harder for you to put words to your needs.
"More…" You managed to choke out. Billy placed a little kiss on the inside of your thigh, an impulsive gesture, a whim he indulged in, refusing to analyze it further.
"You want my fingers inside this pretty little pussy? Hmm? Or maybe…" He licked the spot your leg joined your torso, frustratingly close to where he knew you wanted it, "Maybe you want me to penetrate you with my tongue…"
You were nodding frantically, breathing out "yes" and "please" and incoherent, incomprensible promises Billy didn't even try to make sense of. It didn't matter, because he wasn't planning on giving it to you anyway.
"Sorry, sweetheart," He wasn't sorry at all, "But the first time I fuck you, it will be with my cock…"
He felt your fingertips dig into his scalp.
"Oh, you like that? The thought of my big fat cock here between your legs? Going in and out again and again until you beg me to stop?" Ok, maybe he did want to fuck you after all and was not above manipulating you any way he could to get you to agree. Sue him.
He stopped his thumbs movements, ignoring your cry of protest, standing to his full height, towering over your very naked form.
"Sorry, baby, but if you want me to fuck you, I'm gonna need to hear you say it"
You looked up, big doe eyes devoid of any doubts,
"Billy Russo, please fuck me"
That was all he needed. In two moves flat, his pants were down around his ankles and he had you turned around, grinding his cock against your bare ass, just to see it, to sear the image of his dick against your ass cheeks into his brain. He wanted to commit it all to memory, the way you bent over your bathroom counter, offering yourself up to him, the way your hot, hot center felt against his cock as he stroked the head against your slit, back and forwards, bumping your clit on purpose with every stroke, coating himself in the juices dripping out of you.
Lining himself up, the next stroke had him pushing inside, breaching your entrance, making you jump as if electrically shocked.
"Wait! Condom!"
Billy cursed internally. He had completely forgotten about protection, but he was already an inch deep and you felt so snug, so fucking-... so deliciously tight against his head he thought he would die if he had to part from your silky, wet warmth.
"I'm clean. I know I'm clean. Just escaped from a hospital, remember?"
He could see your uncertain look in the mirror, so he took the choice away from you, pushing into you with one long, unforgiving stroke. He would buy you Plan B, he would get the entire fucking farmacy for you if you asked, but he needed you, and he needed you now.
"I just wanna feel you for a minute" His tone was almost begging as he withdraw a couple of inches only to surge forward again, "Please just… let me feel you"
But you couldn’t speak, eyes closed, mouth open in a silent "oh", so he kept thrusting, slowly building a rhythm. He had to go slow, otherwise he wasn't going to last, you felt too fucking amazing and he, well, he was touch starved, he could admit to that.
"So good… look at that" He was mesmerized, eyes fixed on the place he was disappearing inside you, "You're taking me so fucking well…"
And you were, even though he was obviously a little too big for you, even though there was a little resistance, you weren't complaining, you were letting him fuck you harder and deeper with every ondulation of his hips, bracing yourself on the sink, rocking your hips back.
Greedy little thing…
But if you wanted more, he was going to give you more. He was going to fucking ruin you.
Snaking his arm around your waist, he pulled you in, forcing you to straighten up until your back was flushed with his chest. The angle wasn't completely right, he had to bend his knees to be able to keep going, but it was totally worth it when your eyes met his in the mirror. He could feel your walls clenching around his cock as you watched him fuck you, goosebumps breaking on your skin as he licked the side of your neck filthily. Your hand reached back to grab his buttock, urging him on.
"Billy…"
"Like this, pretty girl?.. like it dirty?" He taunted, hand traveling lower, fingers spreading your labia so you could see him spear you open in the mirror.
"Fuck…" You threw your head back against his shoulder, unable to handle as he started to play with your clit again. Billy tsked.
"Oh, no, sweetheart… gotta open those pretty eyes… want you to look at me when I make you come…"
And he prayed to every god he didn't believe in to be able to do it, to make you fall apart before he did, because he could already feel it, the tightness in his balls, the tension in the base of his spine building up. There was no stopping the noises making their way out of his throat, his rhythm slipping, sloppier. One of his hands flew to your hip bone, fingers digging in with bruising force to pull you to him as he thrusted into you, the other closing around your neck, squeezing your windpipe hard enough to cut the air flow.
Your eyes finally met his in the mirror, wide, far too large, alarmed. Billy bared his teeth, squeezing harder, watching as you turned red, as your eyes grew impossibly bigger.
As you shivered, tight velvety walls rippling around his spasming cock, the liquid warmth of his come shooting deep inside you the last thing you felt before going limp in his arms.
IM CRYING
Same thing
Summary: Where once there were three, now only are two.
Pairing: Kate Bishop x female!reader, Yelena Belova x sister!reader
Warnings: Hawkeye spoilers!!, some cursing, some angst, violence
Word count: 6903
a/n: I’m sorry I have no idea how Build-A-Bears work
Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me
”You’ll stay back.” Yelena orders, pulling on her mask. “If something goes wrong, you come in.”
“No.” Y/N scoffs, putting on her mask as well. In stead of the mask covering her whole face like Yelena’s, her covers only the lower half. “I am coming with you, I’m no back up.” Her Russian accent is clear as she speaks. Yelena glares at her. Y/N can’t see it, but she sure as hell can feel it burning through her skull. “You can’t boss me around anymore.”
”Yes I can. That’s what older sisters do.”
“And as a younger sister, I will not listen.” Y/N follows Yelena as she starts walking towards the rooftop where Clint is. She doesn’t try to stop Y/N from following, knowing there’s no changing her mind.
Yelena gets on the roof, Y/N right behind her. As Clint hasn’t heard the two spies yet, they sneak behind him. Yelena is the one to throw the first punch. Clint is too surprised to attack right away, which gives Yelena and Y/N the upper hand. He talks to the comms he is wearing while starting to fight back. When he puts Yelena into a chokehold, Y/N kicks his back, making him let go.
He gets a change to to shoot two arrows when he pushes the sisters further away, but the two recover quickly, continuing the fight. Y/N notices a girl in a purple suit hanging onto a wire, recognizing her to be Kate Bishop. She gets back to sliding when Yelena uses the wore to kick down Clint. Y/N takes her eyes away from the girl and starts punching Clint when Yelena and Kate bump into each other.
Kicking Clint’s feet from under him and walks next to Yelena, who points a gun towards Clint. Kate and Y/N stare at each other. It distracts Y/N enough not to hear another woman coming from the wire and kicking her and Yelena down. Though they don’t really fall, as they land on their poses. They had become posers, as Yelena would call it. For Natasha.
The fourth woman fights Clint while the other three run for the gun that fell out of Yelena’s hand. Kate reaches it first, kicking it off the building’s roof. Yelena ignores Kate and goes back to fighting Clint, while Y/N fights Kate. She wraps her legs around her neck and makes her fall. After that, she goes back to Clint. For a moment Kate is too flustered to move, but she starts fighting back soon. That’s when Yelena attaches a wire to her and drops her. Clint lets her fall.
The fighting continues for a while between the four people left on the roof before an explosion throws them all back. The ringing in her ears makes Y/N groan. It takes a while to get back up. When she does, Yelena is already fighting Clint.
Everything happens so quickly. Clint pulls away Yelena’s mask, Yelena shoots him with her weapon, Kate is pointing her bow at the sisters. Y/N shakes her head, looking at Kate and standing in front of Yelena, so if Kate decides to shoot, she would shoot her. When nothing happens, Y/N throws her mask away. Kate’s eyes widen. She lowers the bow. Yelena throws a hook to the ground and grabs Y/N’s hand. Running, they jump off the roof.
“Why would you do that?” Yelena slaps Y/N’s hand when they get inside the apartment they’re staying at. “You do not get in front of an arrow willingly.”
“I made sure you didn’t get hit.” Y/N mumbles, starting to get off from her dirty clothes.
“That’s my job!”
Y/N grunts. She puts some rubbing alcohol on a piece of cloth and sits down. “Just because Natasha isn’t here it doesn’t mean you need to be my protector. I can handle myself.” She presses the cloth to the scratches on her arms.
Yelena huffs, taking the cloth out of her hand and cleaning the cuts. Y/N doesn’t fight back. She knows Yelena needs constant confirmation that she is okay and protected since Natasha died. She can’t lose another sister. So, she’ll protect Y/N like Natasha protected her before getting out of the Red Room.
Y/N met Yelena and Natasha in the Red Room. Being multiple years younger than them and getting brought into the Red Room as a toddler, the two instantly got protective over her. During her time in the facility, she also met Melina, doing some missions with her. She became like a mother to her, just like Natasha and Yelena became her sisters.
“I just need you to be safe.”
Y/N giggles, putting on a clean shirt when Yelena is done with the cleaning. “This line of job isn’t exactly safe.”
“That is why I told you to stay away.”
“You also told me to stay close to you. I cannot do both.” She puts on some sweats and sits down to a couch. “Oh this is so comfortable. Why don’t you get a couch like this?”
“I don’t need a couch.” Yelena changes her clothes as well, sitting next to Y/N. “We move all the time. How is a couch good for us?”
Y/N rolls her eyes. “Fine. No couch.” She grumbles, crossing her arms. “You’re so annoying.”
“You hurt me.” Yelena places her hand on top of her heart, frowning.
“Good.” Yelena shoves Y/N, who shoves her right back. And so starts a shoving fight full of laughs.
Y/N stares at Yelena who is making a pot of mac and cheese in Kate’s destroyed apartment. “How do you even know that pot is clean?”
“It looked clean.”
“That’s disgusting.” Yelena shrugs, not really caring what Y/N thinks. She switches the stove off, taking the pot with her. Y/N goes to the window, looking out for Kate. “There she is. She’s coming!”
“Finally.” Yelena mumbles. They hide near the door so Kate wouldn’t see them when she comes in. Kate opens the door and puts on the light, walking forward, not seeing the two. Yelena steps closer. “Kate Bishop.” Kate grabs a hot sauce bottle and throws it towards Yelena, who catches it easily. Y/N snickers, emerging from the shadows. “Hi. I made macaroni if you want some.”
“It’s her comfort food.” Y/N comments.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“Well, I was starving and you took forever, so I wanted to make food.” Yelena explains as she starts walking towards the table.
“What do you want?” Kate asks, staying on her spot.
“Relax, Kate Bishop. We just want to talk, okay?” She sets the pot down to the table. “Are you really not hungry? That fight was so long.” Yelena looks at Kate. “It’s really tasty. Really tasty.” She goes to the small kitchen area.
“Yeah, I know what boxed mac and cheese tastes like. I know it’s... It’s delicious.” Kate mumbles, still not moving. She really doesn’t understand what’s going on. But somehow, she can’t take her eyes off of Y/N. The girl has been on her mind since the rooftop fight. She knows she shouldn’t think of someone on the other side like this. Her eyes, lips, face, accent, everything. She can’t take her eyes off of her.
Y/N is staring at Yelena, but she knows Kate is looking at her. She can feel her intense gaze on her. Smirking, she turns to look at her. Eyes widening, Kate looks to the side, her cheeks flushing.
“Forks, forks.” Yelena mumbles, making the two turn their attention to her. She groans. “No.” Lifting up a fork, she turns to Kate. “You have one fork?” Y/N furrows her brows and looks at Kate.
“I’m one person.” She tries to explain.
“That’s so weird.” Yelena picks up a plastic fork. “Kate, this is not cutlery. This is not cutlery.”
“We have more than two forks even though we are two people.” Y/N comments.
Kate glances at Y/N’s smirking face and ignores the jab. “I am not going to have dinner with you two after you tried to kill me and then broke into my house.”
Yelena walks back to the table with an offended look. “We did not try to kill you.” Her voice cracks. “A, I put you on a wire to remove on obstacle. And B, we did not break anything. We are way too talented than that. And C, stop being so defensive, okay?” She shakes her head. “You’re so hostile.”
“We’re not here to hurt you. Promise.”
“Exactly.” Yelena nods. “I don’t have any weapons on me.” Y/N raises her brows, making Yelena sigh. “Okay, I take that back. I don’t have any weapons currently in my hands.” She raises her hands. Kate and Y/N continue staring at her, the latter’s brows still raised. Yelena glances at the weapons on her wrists. “That’s a lie also.”
“I also have weapons on me, but unlike Yelena, I will not lie about it.” Yelena flicks Y/N’s cheek, sitting down. Y/N slaps her hand. “Want me to show?”
“I don’t- There’s no need.”
Y/N ignores Kate and takes a pistol from the back of her jeans, setting it to the table. The she takes a knife from her boot and inside of her jacket. The last things she takes out are Natasha’s old widow bites she got from her.
Yelena takes one of the knives. “Is this mine?”
“No.” Y/N takes the knife out of her hand and puts it back to her boot. Yelena gives her a look. “Yes it is.” She mumbles and puts the rest of the weapons back to their places.
“Сука.” Yelena mumbles. “Come on, take a fork. Eat, eat. Both of you. Please, our daddy says it’s good for you.” Kate sighs and sits down to the chair across them.
“You know I do not like mac and cheese.” Y/N sits next to Yelena.
“You’re weird.” Yelena mumbles before turning back to Kate. “You’re probably thinking, what? This is crazy. I’m going to have dinner with the enemies? And she made some really good smelling macaroni.” She says with a singsong voice, swinging her hands around. “But in all honesty, if we wanted to kill you-“
“You would have already.” Kate finishes her sentence.
Yelena nods. “Right as you open the door.” She points it to make her point clear.
“I probably wouldn’t have time to shut it.”
“No.” Y/N giggles.
“I’d have been dead.” Kate nods. “Okay. Yeah.” She looks at the chair and sits down, not seeing any other option.
“You’re good with a bow.” Y/N comments as Yelena and Kate start eating the mac and cheese, the latter quite begrudgingly.
“Pardon?”
Y/N rolls her eyes. “Your bow. You can use it well.”
“Oh!” Kate’s eyes widen and her mouth stays open. “Oh, uhm, thanks? You- you’re good with your hands and..and legs.” The moment she says it her eyes go up and down Y/N, remembering the moment she was very close to her.
“What?”
“Fighting.” Kate clears her throat.
“Stop eyeing my sister like that.” Yelena glares at her. Kate opens her mouth multiple times, but can’t get any words out of her mouth. “Are you done?” She doesn’t give her time to answer to her first comment.
“Yeah.”
“I go?”
“Sure can.”
“I could put hot sauce on it?” Yelena takes the bottle and Y/N grimaces. “Ugh. I love hot sauce.” She squirts the sauce all over the food. “Yess.” Taking another bite, she turns to Y/N. “You really should eat too, so you became big and strong like me.” She turns to Y/N.
Y/N laughs. “Big and strong like you? You’re tiny.”
“Well, you’re tinier than me.”
Y/N frowns. “Shut up.”
“So, what do you want?” Kate asks, before the two can escalate their bickering.
“Well,” Yelena sets down the fork she is eating with. “It’s our first time in New York.” She lifts up her hands and does a little shimmy. “It’s a business trip, so time is limited. But we do want to see some things.” She starts eating again. “We want to see, uh, The Empire State Building, the new and improved Statue of Liberty and the Rockefeller center.”
“I want to go to Build-A-Bear.” Y/N comments and Yelena nods.
Kate laughs quietly. “Very funny.”
“What, it’s not good?”
Y/N frowns. “Is there no Build-A-Bears here? I really wanted to go there.” She pouts and glances at Yelena.
Kate hesitates for a moment. “Oh no, they’re-they’re great and there is a Build-A-Bear. Yeah you... I mean, you’ve gotta see the tree.”
Yelena gasps, clapping her hands together. “Exactly. See? I love American Christmases. The tree, the presents, the super-powered reindeer, Rudolph.” She lists.
Kate hums, nodding. “Rudolph.” She mumbles and lets out a laugh.
“He is so weird.” Yelena chuckles.
“You’re so childish.” Y/N mumbles, picking her nails.
“I’m childish? Which one of us wants to go to Build-A-Bear, huh?” Yelena looks at Y/N, brows raised. “Besides, you are a child.”
“I am not a child.”
“No? You’re multiple years younger than me. You’re like eighteen.”
“Twenty-two! Not eighteen.” Y/N groans. “That’s not many years younger.”
Kate coughs to bring the sisters’ attention back to the relevant thing. Her eyes linger on Y/N for a while, but she turns to Yelena when she starts talking again. “Have you ever eaten reindeer?”
“Cannot say I’ve had the pleasure. No.” Kate has a tight lipped smile on her face. She still isn’t sure what to think of the situation.
“It’s,” Yelena laughs. “No, it is not a pleasure. No, it’s, uhm, it’s really tough. It’s chewy.” Y/N grimaces at Yelena’s description, remembering the last time she had to eat reindeer. “You have to braise it for a really long time. But hey, Kate Bishop. You grew up here, right?” Kate nods. “You must have some recommendations for us.”
“Yeah, uhm.” She laughs nervously. “Yeah, I-I have. Let’s see. The High Line. High Line is great. Uhm, there’s a Christmas market in Union Square. Uhm.. I’m not quite sure those are the right fit for the blood-thirsty vigilante types.”
Yelena laughs loudly. “Blood-thirsty vigilantes.” She glances at Y/N while chuckling. “Sometimes you’re funny, Kate Bishop.”
“Do you say my whole name to point out that you know it?”
“Yes. We know a lot about you.” And so Yelena starts listing all the things she knows about Kate and her family.
Y/N sighs, tuning out her sister. She thought coming to Kate Bishop’s apartment would have been much more interesting than it is. She is bored. She’d rather be listening to Alexei’s stories that have no real plot line. She doesn’t even really like Alexei. The man is loud and kind of really mean. But she tolerates him for Melina and Yelena.
“Are you in New York to talk to Clint? Is that why you’re here?” Kate’s question brings Y/N back to the conversation.
“No, no, no, no.” Yelena shakes her head. “We’re here to kill him. I have a question for you. What is it? Why do you risk your life for him, Clint Barton? How has everybody forgiven him for his past?”
“He saved the world.”
Y/N scoffs at Kate’s comment. Kate frowns and looks at her. “Our sister saved the world.” She glares at the archer.
“Natasha Romanoff, she saved the world.” Yelena continues. Kate keeps a neutral face, but the two in front of her can clearly tell her mind is anything but. “Stop pretending like you’re not surprised. It does not look cool.”
“You two are really Natasha’s sisters?” Y/N nods at the question. “Wow. I did not see that coming.” Kate’s eyes are wide and her brows are high up. “Thank God, I didn’t kill you two up there.”
Yelena starts laughing while Y/N shakes her head with a grin. Kate stares at them with confusion. “You kill us?” Yelena points at her and her sister. “Again, oh, Kate Bishop. You are so funny. That’s hilarious. That one is the funniest.” Y/N nods while Yelena still chuckles.
“Natasha and Clint were friends. Why are you after him?”
“You are so fond of him.” Yelena leans her head to the side. “It tells me you don't really know who he is.”
“He came out here to protect me.”
“No.” She shakes her head, keeping her haze on Kate at all times. “He came here to protect his reputation. Do you know how many people he killed?” Kate looks down. “The trail of blood that follows him, it could wrap around the entire world.”
“Okay. Wow. That was very Russian.” Yelena hums at the comment. “He's still an Avenger.”
“What does that word even mean? Huh? That it holds so much power. You call him a hero no matter what he does?”
“It means that when you choose to spend your life trying to help people, there are going to be things that you lose. When you face the kind of threats that he has, there's going to be collateral damage.”
“Our sister is gone because of him.” Yelena says in a louder voice, leaning forward on the table. Y/N looks down at the mention of Natasha, missing her sister dearly.
“What? No. No, that is... No.”
“She's gone.” Yelena nods with a frown. “Is she collateral damage?”
“Is that what you think of your father?” Y/N asks before Kate can answer Yelena. “He died during an Avengers threat, correct? So, he was just collateral damage as well, no one important.”
“No, that’s not what I m-“
“No?” Y/N interrupts. “All but your father are collateral damage? Why is your father any more important than our sister? Or all the other Avengers who have died? The victims of Sokovia, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. All those who died without their family with them during the blip. War against Thanos.” Y/N lists. “Are you willing to tell all the dead people’s families how someone important to them was just collateral damage? Just something that happens. But that’s just life, right?” She laughs a laugh that makes chills go through Kate’s spine. “You didn’t know them, so they have no meaning to you.”
“I don’t...” Kate tries to find the right words. She stares at Y/N. She looks like she’s hurting, but she masks it well. “Of course they’re important.” Kate whispers, but Y/N looks away. She sighs, turning back to Yelena. “Look, there is no way that’s true. He would not let that happen.”
“How long have you known Clint Barton?”
Kate looks to the side, pausing for a moment. “About a week”
“It will not be difficult for us to complete this assignment.”
“Wait a minute, somebody hired you to kill him?” Yelena doesn’t answer, she just leans back on her chair, looking down while Y/N looks at her. “All I'll say is that if there is someone out there that is telling you Clint is a bad guy, then maybe you should ask yourself what kind of person hired you. He is not perfect. Nobody's perfect. But he is good.”
“However he convinced you about who he is or how many people think or call him a hero, truth is it doesn't matter. We are defined by what we do. Not by nice words.”
Tears prickle Y/N eyes at Yelena’s words. Natasha didn’t believe that. Natasha wouldn’t have defined anyone by their past. She takes a deep breath. The rest of the conversation between Yelena and Kate is going inside her ear and out the other. She doesn’t know what to think of the situation. Natasha wouldn’t like what they’re doing, but she can’t follow someone who is dead. Yelena is here, with her, and she isn’t leaving. Does it even matter anymore? Yelena and her are so deep in the business they didn’t even want to do. But it’s the only thing they’re good at.
“Thank you for the girls' night, truly.” Yelena comments, standing up. When she notices Y/N staring off to the distance, unmoving, she pulls her up by her arm. Y/N looks at her sister, while Kate is staring at her. Yelena nods towards the open window. They walk up to it. “Oh, and, Kate Bishop, do not get in our way again.” A hook clings to the floor and the two drop down the window.
Kate walks near the big Christmas tree. She suddenly stops when she notices someone familiar looking at the tree. Taking a few steps forward, she hesitates, not knowing if she should go to her or not.
“If you’re trying to be sneaky it’s not working.” Y/N speaks up, not looking away from the tree.
Kate sighs, walking next to her. She stares at the side of her face. It’s red from the cold. Her hands are in the pockets of her jacket. She is wearing very stylish clothing. Kate likes her style. “Where’s Yelena?”
Y/N hums, kicking the rocks under her feet. “I don’t know. We aren’t always together, you know?” She laughs quietly, looking down at the ground.
“Yeah, I know. I just- just thought you’d stay together for safety reasons.” Kate’s breath hitches when Y/N frowns. Somehow it’s the saddest and cutest thing she has ever seen. “Not that I think you can’t take care of yourself! I- I think you’re very, uhm, capable.”
Y/N nods, still not looking at Kate. Kate desperately want her to look at her. She wants to see her face. She doesn’t know why the young paid killer has invaded her mind, but somehow she can’t stop thinking about her.
“Why do you do that?” Y/N asks, finally turning to look at her.
“Do what?”
“Stare at me, say those weird compliments.”
“Oh, uhm.” Kate’s cheeks flush red. “I-“ This time she turns away, feeling like Y/N’s staring at her too intense. “Well, you know.” She shrugs and chuckles.
“I don’t know.” Y/N frowns. The way Kate is acting is strange in her opinion, or at least she isn’t used to someone acting like that. Her staring makes her feel this weird fluttery feeling in her tummy. “That is why I asked.”
Humming, Kate turns back to Y/N. The confused look on her face looks so vulnerable and adorable. She just wants to squeeze her. “Do you...know what a crush is?”
Y/N furrows her brows, thinking. “As in crushing someone? Hurting them?”
“No.”
“Then no. Natasha was usually the one to teach me and Yelena new things, though Yelena knew more beforehand than me, but I suppose we didn’t have enough time to learn everything.” She tells quietly, taking her hands out of her pockets to play with her fingers.
“Shit.” Kate mumbles, looking at the ground. She rubs her face, thinking what to say. She already started, but could she actually tell the enemy about her crush on her. “Listen.” She touches Y/N’s arm to make her look at her. “I don’t know why I feel like this, but I-.” Kate moves her arms around. “I know we’re on different sides of this thing, but I have grown this crush on you.”
“I still don’t know what that means.”
“Right.” Kate laughs. “It means...liking someone.” Y/N stays quiet. “More than a friend. Liking someone romantically. Fancying them.”
“Okay, okay. I get it.” Y/N stops Kate’s rambling. “But why?”
“Well, you’re very beautiful and cute. But it’s obviously not only because of looks.” Kate assures quickly. “You seem very smart and capable. You clearly know how to take care of yourself. You’re genuine in your own way. And honestly, I don’t think you really want to kill Clint.”
Y/N stares at her fingers. Does she want to kill Clint? “This mission was officially signed only to Yelena, but since I go where she goes, I take part in it.”
“So you follow Yelena blindly? Do everything she says?”
“No, I trust her because she’s doing her job as my sister. And I would not trust anyone else to do that job better than her and Natasha. That is why I do what she says.” Y/N lips are in a tight line. She doesn’t like Kate’s questioning. “She can’t lose anyone else, neither can I. Not in a world like this.”
“I’m sorry, about Natasha.”
Y/N nods. “I don’t think you should have a crush on me.” Kate’s face falls. “Those kind of feelings weren’t allowed in the Red Room. I don’t know what they are or what they mean, so you should stop.”
“It’s not something you can control. I can’t just stop.”
Y/N and Kate stare at each other. People walk past them in a fast pace, sometimes bumping into them. The air is getting colder and colder as snow falls down to the ground. “Why are you telling me these things?”
Kate hums. She doesn’t know how to answer to the question. “Have you gone to Build-A-Bear yet?” Y/N frowns, shaking her head. “Let’s go together, and I’ll try to explain.”
“How do I know you aren’t taking me into a trap?”
“I guess you just have to trust me.” She puts her hand forward.
Y/N stares at Kate’s hand in confusion. “Am I supposed to grab your hand as a sign of trust? I’m not doing that. I don’t trust you.”
“Right.” Kate drops her hand, wiping it to her pants awkwardly. “No- I- It’s just something from..books and movies.” She mumbles. Clearing her throat, Kate points towards a mall. “The store is over there.” Y/N stares at the mall, biting her lip. “It’s not a trap.”
“Fine.”
The two walk go the store in silence. At times Kate glances at Y/N’s neutral expression, wondering what she is thinking about. The assassin on the other hand keeps her gaze straight forward. Y/N’s eyes brighten up when they get inside. Kate smiles at the sight, hiding it by looking at the ground.
“Do you know what you want?” Kate asks, looking at Y/N while she wanders around the store.
“No, I have never been here.”
“Let’s start looking then.”
They walk around the non stuffed stuffed animals. Y/N picks up a brown bear, turning it around in her hands.
“Would you like to have that one?” Y/N glances at Kate, nodding. “Okay, I’ll get this wolf. We can decide a scent patch for it and a voice before they get stuffed.”
“No voice.”
“Okay.” Kate nods, walking over to the scents with her. “You can decide which ever you like.” Y/N starts smelling all the scent buttons. She holds a strawberry scented button to Kate. “You want that one.” She nods. “Let’s get into stuffing then.” She leads Y/N towards the worker that stuffs the plushies. “Give it to her.” Y/N gives the bear to the worker. She watches as it gets stuffed, cringing at the look of it.
“That looks violating.”
“I know.” Kate chuckles, giving her plushie after Y/N’s is done. “Next step is to choose clothes.”
Y/N looks over the big racks of clothes, pausing when she notices similar clothing on one of them. Kate stops next to her, frowning when she sees the wetness in her eyes. She turns to look at the costume in front of them, her eyes widening as she sees the Black Widow costume. “I don’t... I don’t think I can do this.” Y/N mumbles. Somehow she can’t get her eyes away from the costume.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Kate sets her hand on Y/M shoulder, not even thinking who she is with right now. “Do you want to go look some other costumes?”
Y/N shakes her head after a moment of silence. “No. I want the Natasha one.”
“You sure?”
“Mhm.” Y/N grabs the costume and gives Kate a small smile. “I’m sure. Not the hair, that doesn’t look like Natasha.”
Kate laughs, keeping her hand on her shoulder. She decides to grab a Christmas sweater for her wolf, after it they go to the birth certificate station. “Here you can name it and give it a birthday.”
“Why is this so complicated?” Y/N mumbles as she looks at the screen in front of her. “I just want a bear.” She unconsciously lifts the bear up to her nose, smelling the strawberry.
Kate smiles at the sight, enjoying the softer side of Y/N. “I mean, you don’t have to.”
“No, I want to.”
Laughing, Kate nods. She fills her certificate rather quickly, while Y/N is struggling with her. The birthday is set, but she hasn’t picked a name yet. “Need some help?” Y/N stares at the bear wearing Natasha’s clothes quietly. “Do you want to name is after her?”
“Is that weird?”
“No! Of course not.” Kate taps the name bar, writing Natasha into it. “That good?” Y/N nods. Buying the bears go quickly as not many people are on the line. Now they’re sitting on a bench, holding their boxes.
“I have to go.” Y/N mumbles, standing up. Kate stands up as well, staring at her. “Lena will wonder where I am.”
“Can I-“ Kate clears her throat. “Will I see you again.”
“I still have to kill Clint Barton.”
“You don’t have to.”
Y/N chuckles, shaking her head. “I know you think that, but my life isn’t like yours, Kate Bishop. You’re rich. You think you’re indestructible because you have always had a way out. Not everyone has that, especially in this line of work. I don’t have that. I can’t do whatever I want.” She stares at frowning Kate. “I need to do my job no matter what I want.” They stay quiet for a while, looking at each other. Y/N looks down and walks away.
Kate groans, rubbing her face. “Shit.”
Yelena and Y/N walk into the Christmas party, ignoring the worker who asks fo their jackets. They start walking around the huge room, going to different directions. Y/N glances to the direction of noice and ruckus, noticing Kate talking to comms. Soon someone starts shooting through the windows. Y/N kneels to the ground, away from the bullets and looks for Yelena.
“Who the hell is shooting?” She asks as she reacher her.
“I don’t know. Come on, Clint went to the elevators.” They jog to the elevators, not noticing Kate coming after them until she stops next to them after Yelena presses the elevator button.
“So, I know you're chummy with my mom, I didn't think you'd make the cut for the Christmas party.”
Yelena glances at Kate. “Kate Bishop. We are not here to ruin anything.” She assures, looking at the elevators. “We are just going to kill Barton, have some appetizers, and then we’ll go.”
“I hope you enjoy the bruschetta, 'cause it looks like you already lost him.”
Frowning, Yelena turns to look at her. “He's in the elevator.”
“Yeah. What, out of 65 floors, you think you're just gonna magically guess which one he's on?”
The other elevator dings, showing twelve in red. “Twelfth floor.”
“Damn it.” Kate mumbles. She sneaks a glance at Y/N, who is on Yelena’s other side. She is grinning quietly.
“Enjoy the party.” Y/N smirks when the elevator opens, getting inside.
Yelena starts going inside after her, Kate pushing behind her. “No, no, Kate, stay.” She pushes Kate outside and goes to stand next to Y/N, waiting for the elevator to close. Just as it’s closing, Kate slips in. Yelena groans. The trio stand quietly, Kate eyeing the buttons. She reaches over to them, but Yelena slaps her hand. “No.”
Not long after that, Kate tries to reach for the buttons again, but Yelena stops her. As two times isn’t enough for Kate, she tries again. This time Yelena throws her to the ground and holds her arm. Suddenly Kate slaps her.
Y/N’s eyes widen and Yelena furrows her brows. “What was that?”
“I don’t know. I-“ Not finishing her sentence, Kate goes for the buttons again.
Y/N takes hold of her dress, while Yelena yells out multiple nos, but it rips apart. “Oh my god, what is happening.” She stares at the broken dress in her hand. Kate points at her suit. “Did you plan that?”
With a need to impress, Kate nods. “Yes.” Yelena lifts her brow and Y/N shakes her head. “No, No, I...” She shakes her head. Taking advantage of the moment, Kate presses every single button she can.
“No, no!” Yelena groans. “Come on, that is so annoying.” She opens her jacket and throws it to Kate. “Сука.” She runs out of the elevator, Y/N right behind her after she throws her jacket onto the floor. Kate starts running after them.
The three start fighting while running and jumping over the furniture in the rooms. Kate puts herself between the two room, blocking the entrance. “What are we doing? I mean, it’s Christmas Eve. Let’s grab a drink, huh?” She glances at Y/N.
“Okay. Yeah. Sure.” Yelena nods.
“Cool.”
“After we kill Barton.”
“No. No, that’s not what... Come on. You two don’t need to-“ Kate doesn’t get to finish her sentence as Yelena kicks her in the ribs. And so the fighting continues.
Yelena slams Kate into a glass. Kate starts throwing things and Yelena over a chair. Y/N kicks Kate’s feet, making her fall down. Kate punches Y/N, hard. Yelena takes out her baton to break the window, but Kate throws something to get the baton out of her hand, hitting her hand at the same time.
Yelena flings her arm around. “Ow. That really hurts!”
“Yeah. Yeah, well, so did the kick to the ribs.”
Y/N holds her already bruising cheek. “Did you have to punch me so hard?” Kate cringes at the bruise, mumbling a small sorry.
“That was a good one.” Yelena mumbles, remembering the kick she delivered not too long ago. “That was good form. But you did the really cool body throw.” She moves her hands up to down.
“Yeah, thank you. Thank you.” Kate points at her. “Stop making me like you.”
Yelena grins. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” She shrugs. “Besides, you started liking Y/N without me doing anything. Which I still do not accept.” She glares at Kate. “Anyways, that was really fun. Bye.” Throwing a hook to the floor she jumps out the window.
Y/N groans, rolling her eyes. “Always the windows. For once, I’d like to go out the door.” She mumbles, giving Kate a small wave before throwing her own hook to the ground and going after Yelena. When they go low enough, they start shooting towards Clint until they land on the ground and run away.
Yelena and Y/N notice Clint on the stairs near the ice rink and the fallen tree. Yelena body slams Clint to bring him down while Y/N jumps over the railing, staying on Clint’s other side as he stays on the ground, hurt.
“Before we kill you, I need to ask you one question.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Yelena and Y/N.”
Y/N glances at Yelena, but the latter pays no mind to her. Clint gets up so he is kneeling, seeing the two better. “I need to know what happened.”
“Look, Yelena, Y/N.” He glances at the younger of the two. “If I told you what really happened, you’d never believe me. But what you need to know is your sister sacrificed herself, and she saved the world. I’m sorry.”
Yelena starts shaking her head. “You’re lying.”
“What?”
“You’re pathetic. You’re so pathetic.” She pushes him down. Y/N stares at them, not knowing what to do. She doesn’t want to disobey her sister, but she is starting to doubt if Clint ever killed their sister. Going against her doubts, she helps Yelena fight Clint.
Clint pushes Y/N further away and grabs Yelena’s shoulders. “Nobody killed her. She made a choice.”
“Stop lying!” Yelena rolls down to her back, kicking Clint over her to the ground where Y/N punches him as he gets up.
Clint tries to fight off the two. He kicks Y/N down. “Stay down, kid.” And takes Yelena into a chokehold. “You’re not listening to me. She sacrificed herself, understand?” Yelena takes quick breaths. “I couldn’t stop her.”
“No.” Yelena gets away from the hold and kicks him down. She helps Y/N up. “Why would she sacrifice herself for you? Why do you deserve it?”
Clint stays down. “I don’t.”
“So she died because you let her.”
“I fought for it. But she was better than me.”
“You should’ve fought harder.” Y/N grabs Yelena’s hand, trying to give some kind of comfort for the both of them. Yelena pushes her hand away and takes put her baton, hitting Clint with it over and over again until he falls to the ground.
“Yelena.” Y/N tries to grab her arm, but Yelena keeps pushing her away. “Yelena!” She kicks away her baton.
“What are you doing?” Yelena pushes her to the ground, anger clear in her eyes. She takes out her gun and steps closer to Clint. But she stops when Clint whistles. It’s her and Natasha’s secret whistle. Yelena’s face falls as she gasps. “How do you know that?”
Clint turns around slowly, staring at her. “Your secret whistle with Nat. She talked about you all the time, Yelena. You too, Y/N.” He glances at Y/N who hasn’t stood up yet.
“She did?” Clint nods. “What did she say?”
“She told me about how you got separated as kids. She was flying that plane. I asked her if she was scared. All she could think about is that you were safe. That never changed, Yelena.” Clint turns to Y/N. “And you. She told about the time she first saw you in the Red Room as a two-year-old. How at that moment she felt insane amount of need to protect you. She was thankful to see you grow up no matter the circumstances. She loved you two. And always wanted you safe.”
Both Y/N and Yelena are crying. “You got so much time with her.”
“Yes I did.”
“It shouldn’t have gone this way.” She shakes her head as tears fall down her cheeks. “If I was there, I could have stopped it. I could have- I could have changed it.”
“Nothing was gonna stop her, Yelena. You know Natasha. She made her choice. We’re gonna have to find a way to live with that.”
“We loved her so much.” Yelena sobs, glancing at quietly crying Y/N.
“Me too.” Clint sniffles. Yelena walks in front of him. She gives her hand to Clint and helps him up. “I’m sorry.”
Yelena turns to Y/N. She takes hold of her arms and lifts her up. “Forgive me, сестра.” She dries her cheeks and holds her hand as the two walk away from the ice rink and Clint.
Y/N approaches Clint and Kate slowly, who are sitting on the back of a ambulance together, taking a breather after the fights. She’s holding a small piece of paper in her hands, rolling it around in her nervousness. The partners stare at her as she stops in front of them, Kate has a smile on her face.
Y/N clears her throat. “I- I wanted to ask you something, about Natasha.” Her voice is quiet and she stares at Clint’s shoes, not daring to meet his eyes. “I wrote her letters, during our time freeing the widows. So, I was just wondering if she got them.”
“She did.”
Y/N’s head snaps up to look at Clint. “Yeah?” Her eyes glaze over.
Clint nods with a small smile. Sure, she just tried to kill him, but she is mourning. He can understand that. “She wrote you letters back during the five years you and your sister were gone.”
“Do you..do you think I could see them?”
“Of course.” He nods towards Kate. “Just let her know where I can send them. They belong to you.”
“Thank you.” She gives Clint a genuine smile before turning to Kate and giving the paper slip to her. “Here’s my number, if you want to keep in contact.”
“Can’t you like, get my number pretty easily.” Kate grins, remembering how Yelena had got her number.
“Yes.” Y/N rolls her eyes with a smile. “But I wanted to do this traditionally. And I wanted to give you the choice.” She picks the skin around her fingers. “Let me know.” Smiling, she starts walking away from the pair. A ping comes from her phone. Y/N takes it from her pocket and stops when she sees the message.
I do want to keep in contact :)
She turns around and smiles to Kate, who is already smiling at her.
Plot: After a nightmare that seems too real you turn to Bucky for help, signing a contract with him doesn’t look like a bad idea at the time.
For All Eternity
cecaelia!Bucky x mermaid!Reader (x prince!Tony)
moodboard by @brdom
note: reader is Steve and Peggy’s daughter so I guess there’s that implied physical appearance but feel free to ignore that part if it doesn’t suit you
Plot: They came from the stars and offered salvation, but nothing comes without a price…
The Chase
alien!Billy Russo x Reader
moodboard by@brdom
Plot: You've been betrayed and are about to die when a dark angel comes to your rescue...
Fallen
fallen angel!Darkling x angel!Reader
moodborad by @brdom
Plot: Steve, the leader of the centaurs has plans for you...
My Sweet Princess
centaur!Steve x amazon princess!Reader
(some Wanda x reader and Wanda x Steve)
moodborad by @brdom
📖 - unfinished
📚 - finished
👀 - finished, but might continue if requested
🎈 - soon to arrive
be careful at the 💥triger warnings💥 (they're at the beginning of each fic where needed) please, stay safe! 💛
also, further explenations can be given in the longer A/N's, so don't skip on those
let me know if you wanna be tagged
- dating Sirius as Lily's friend 📖
*y/n's life at Hogwarts, falling for our brightest Black, dating him and what comes after up until Lightning era and possibly during it as well* (currently 3 parts, more to come) - IF YOU STARTED TO READ IT AND DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH ALL THE CHAPTERS AGAIN, HERE IS THE FIC'S OWN MASTERLIST
- young and tangled - Sirius blurb 📚
*One afternoon at Hogwarts, reader braids Sirius' hair for Quidditch - fluff*
- the white ship of the House of Black vs the poisoned snake - Sirius x fem!reader (x Regulus !platonic!) 📚
*Life after Hogwarts is not easy. The war puts everyone's nerves to test. When y/n and Sirius break up and her purebloods parents want her to marry Regulus, the Gryffindor Black must take action*
- flirt and a shirt - Sirius blurb *short*📚 (plus size!reader)
- Remus dating slytherin reader 📚 (link for part 1)
*forced marriage trope but happy ending* (2 parts) link for part 2
- Regulus and muggle born reader: all great couples pull a great con 📚 (link for part 1)
*they're clever and madly in love, what can possibly go wrong with two water snakes in the cobras' nest?* (2 parts) link for part 2
- save me (Reggie x you) 📚
*you heal Regulus, not just his body, but soul and mind as well*
- Operation prison break (Sirius x wife!reader, Regulus x platonic reader) 👀
*An unexpected visit to the disowned Black household brings out secrets and a powerful alliance*
- the life of the Black brother's 📖 (act I)
*a tragedy in 5 parts about Reggie and Sirius* act II, act III, act IV, act V
- don't love me like that: Sirius/reader/mean girl📚
*dark magic is not love and y/n plus our favorites from the wizarding world help Sirius deal with it*
- my true north (Sirius x potter!reader) 👀
*James' little sister is a brave wizarding self proclaimed pirate, but there is a good reason for it*
- Peter Pettigrew: a spy with no choice📚
*wormtail's betrayal from his POV*
- Unrequited until proven per contra 📚
*Regulus doesn't know how to cope with his feelings dor y/n. But thankfully, winter serves as a muse as he tries to mend what he broke.*
- Jily drabble: baby, my baby🎈
*Lily is a well grounded witch, James is a family guy, despite the war, love finds ways to bloom*
- wolfstar angst, pre Azkaban and post Azkaban: the beauty and his beast📚
*how does Sirius and Remus reconcile after years apart, with old and new scars painfully visible despite them not being physical*
- self care for Sirius - gn!reader 📚
*y/n helps Sirius relax with face masks, make up and nail art*
- I loved and I loved and I lost you 📚
*when Regulus uncovers his fiancèe secrets he makes decisions he comes to deeply regret. Unable to fix them, he shall join his beloved in both war sides and death.*
- modern au + text au + blurb + jily📚
*just some fluff with James and Lily because we all need more of it*
- Sweet spices (Reggie smut) 📚
*a soft, sweet and intimate marriage scene after a fight*
- the ABC of magic folks for marriage 📚
*arranged marriage trope gone right with Sirius Black*
- panic attacks (marauders boys x reader)
Sirius Black *PTSD* 🎈
Remus Lupin *impostor syndrome* 🎈
Peter Pettigrew *eating disorder* 🎈
James Potter *anxiety* 🎈
Regulus Black *dissociative amnesia* 🎈
- Aleksander's daughter 🎈
*the Darkling changed his tactics after his daughter has been killed by the king, becoming more ruthless and more of a monster than a man. But Ketterdam has a way to surprise even an immortal, powerful grisha like him. With his daughter back into his life, his plans turn upside down, especially since she likes to keep a certain company around: a traitorous heartrender and her fjerdan lover, a vigilante suli captain and her devilishly cunning trickster, a materialki who won't accept his gift and his otkazat'sya lover and her stupidly annoying half brother with his followers in tow*
- Who? 📚
*a Darkling angst one shot about his identity*
- jurdan power couple moment: Her majesty 📚
*Cardan is full of the folk disrespecting Jude and Jude is learning how to love fully*
- Oak and the throne 📚
*Oak is old enough to take over the throne, except he doesn't want it.*
- Magic and kids 📚
*Oak wants a magic friend in the mortal world. Taryn's child would be perfect for it.*
- Bow down, your highness! 📚 (part 2)
*Jurdan smut: Jude shouldn't have go on a date*
- 'Til death do you apart 📚
*Jurdan angst: Jude is about to marry a mortal, Cardan has an issue with that*
- Old love, young love, fae love 📚
*After TWK Jude's grandparents try to set her up with someone – enter a certain fae king, set on stopping it from happening*
- Shockingly familial/r 📚
*How does Jude's fanily react to the new High King and High Queen*
- How the cruel prince and the wicked king came to let go of the queen of nothing 📚
*A long-ish blurb on what would have been if Jude found another after her exile (focused on Cardan's thoughts and, mostly, feelings)*
- what it'd be like to be Azriel's mate 🎈
*from the first meeting until falling in love (slow burn of course), the reader and Azriel must make the journey to learn each other and their new bond*
- Tease? (Solangelo fluff) 📚
*our fav boys hanging out together with a spicy (but not too spicy) game of Mythomagic*
- Frank Zhang, The fall on the other side 📚
*From hero to villain real quick*
- Scarred, scarry, spectacular 📚
*Y/n sees his scars and still loves him*
- Recovery 📚
*reader and Billy help each other accept their scars*
- Go, go, darling agents part 1; part 2👀
*being the leader of a vigilante team means you know what a hard choice feels like, but never was it as complicated as it is now. ANGST*
- Oh, brother mine! 📚
*four episodes in the lives of Julian and Dante Santos*
- She shines in his darkness 📚
*Luc doubts himself. Addie helps him with a bit of sexual tension.*
- Silence sounds the best on you. Logan Delos x fem!reader📚
*Logan wants to spice things up in the bedroom with a game. SMUT*
REQUESTS ARE OPEN / CLOSSED
Im so obsessed with this series omg it is so good u are extremely talented
Pairing: The Darkling x Fem!Reader
Summary: Now that you and Aleksander have been reunited you can begin your rule together. Despite the multitude of threats around you, you’ve never felt safer than at his side.
Warnings: canon level violence.
Word Count: 4.9K
My Masterlist
You clutch onto Fedoyr’s wrist as he works. The itch of healing makes your skin crawl, desperate to scrape your nails over the wound. Through your discomfort, you loosen your hold when you notice he’s gritting his teeth.
“Sorry.” You say quietly.
“It’s okay.” He insists, and you swallow a sob. Because it’s not okay. But it is. And it isn’t. You’re finally safe. You have your power back. But Aleksander is facing Alina and her small army without you. Despite all this swirling in your mind, the only thing you can focus on is what you’re going to say to Fedoyr. If he’s taken Ivan’s place beside Aleksander then surely he knows what happened. That you watched his husband die. You, a powerful Shadow Summoner, one of the two people who had vowed to protect all Grisha - to keep them safe. Ivan knew the risks. Defending you and Aleksander was the only thing he wanted to do. Which is perhaps why the ache in your chest doesn’t alleviate with Fedoyr’s healing. Once the wound is closed, he cleans the blood from your skin, before stepping back to admire his handiwork. “Better?” You follow his gaze, looking over the shining scar that now runs across the majority of your left shoulder and snakes around to reach for your shoulder blade. The line of Alina’s Cut was ragged, though you’re not sure if that’s from her lack of experience or if that’s just what a blade of light does to skin. You move your shoulder carefully, it aches, but the skin remains intact. You smile appreciatively,
“As good as new.”
“It’s good to see you, Lieutenant.” He says quietly, and you swallow hard,
“You too, Fedoyr.”
You look away, taking in your surroundings. Aleksander’s Grisha have created a makeshift camp in the woods. It must have been built recently as there’s no way the First Army patrols could have missed them. There are a few injuries, no doubt acquired during the fight with the First Army and Alina’s remaining Grisha, but not as many as expected. The Grisha that had sided with Aleksander were mostly well accustomed to fighting in a war, and it seems his nichevo'ya had taken the brunt of the attack. It’s a smart move - intended to protect the few Grisha left. You can’t help but worry for the toll it’s taken on Aleksander.
There’s a terrible rumbling sound in the distance, almost like an avalanche. It shakes the ground with a groan that you feel in your chest. You all turn towards the source of the noise, as a cloud of dust flares up into the shadowed sky. You hear Fedoyr say,
“The chapel’s collapsed.” The ringing returns to your ears, you hadn’t even been aware how much better you felt until your world stood still. You sense the nichevo'ya flocking to the chapel.
Keep reading
The Temple of Sacred Ashes
I- wtf
Yo, can i copy your homework?
Sure, just dont be too obvious
𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚖 ... 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞...
MY ART
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