I Came Up With This Three-way Table To Help Me (and Now You, If You Want) To Rate Things Out Of 5 Stars.

don’t understand where people get the energy to be an active participant in their own lives. the days just happen to me for real

I know it's usually much more Eggman's aesthetic, but can you imagine Cave Johnson-style announcements at the GUN Headquarters?

"This is a preemptive caution to all agents: if Unit E-123 Omega decides to insult you, just grin and bear it. We get it, he's kind of an asshat, and nobody likes the way he talks about our insides. But don't even think about it. Do not, and I can't believe I have to spell it out for you all- do not pick a fight with the two-ton walking arsenal. We all know who's going to win that. And it's not going to be you. Help us keep our workplace recordable injuries down this year."

"Good morning agents! If you find that your wallet's gone, don't worry! Rouge is just borrowing it for a little while. You'll find it back in your locker in a few hours. No, we don't know where she puts them. Yes, we are obligated to reimburse you for the funds she does take. No, Dairy Queen coupons are not reimbursable. Not even the special edition ones from your little hometown franchise. Sucks to suck. Agents are advised to purchase wallets with chains, if necessary, just like the one I've got right- oh hell, where'd I- goddamnit- cut the broadcast!"

"Hello folks, this is your weekly reminder- if you think you see a Chaos Emerald sitting around, do not touch it. Check if it's the green one. If so, that one's Shadow's, and he's not too happy when the base gets sent on lockdown because he put it down for a second. He'll be right back. Leave it where it is. But if the Emerald's any other color, still don't touch it! Notify your superior and don't let it out of your sight until the containment boys arrive. Don't touch it. Last poor son of a bitch is still seeing the world through a cyan filter. Friendly reminder that our health insurance doesn't cover that. Good luck finding a doctor who will."

"Urgent warning here. If you see anything blue out of the corner of your eye- if you even think you see a little blur of it, pull the alarm so that the security boys know to rewind the footage. This is very important, folks- if it's Metal Sonic, we need to see what he stole. If it's Sonic, we need to check which door he put the can of paint above this time before the Commander walks through it. If it's something else, god help us all."

*Dr Doofenshmietz gestures at an empty area*

“BEHOLD THE PROCRASTINATOR!”

*empty area*

“I haven’t built it yet”

headcanons for my fellow dad!lance enjoyers:

when silver first starts training at the dragons den lance gets worried abt his Obvious malnourishment but can't convince silver to let him give him smth to eat. he offered to take silver out to lunch once and silver just stared at him before running away

so he has to get creative

he ends up giving sneasel whenever they're at the dragons den and out of silver's sight non-perishable foods that are in unopened packages.

silver thinks sneasel stole these. but ends up eating them anyway because he just wants food arceus damn it

After a while Lance builds enough trust with Silver to go "hey there's a guest room in my house. If you wanna use it."

Silver refuses at first but Lance manages to wear him down. Success! Lance has managed to aquire a traumatized malnourished 12 year old with c-ptsd! Wahoo!

Lance managed to find sneaky roundabout ways to get Silver to take care of himself after a while. "Ah Silver we were supposed to have a party at the league but we had to cancel and can't reschedule so now I have this massive platter of fresh fruit and nobody wants to eat it :((. If you want some go ahead and take it otherwise I'll have to throw it out" (there was never gonna be a party Lance just wants Silver to eat more fruit)

Lance also does stuff like subtly do bonding exercises with his pokemon in front of Silver to display how you're supposed to treat pokemon. Because he knows that Silver is trying to improve but doesn't know how. So he figured that Silver, being a child, would soak that up like a sponge

this works extremely well :))

your honor i need them to be fucked up together

i saw this poll on twitter (with less options) and it didnt get a lot of reach and im curious what program is the majority rn