For April Fools We’re Deleting This Entire Site Sayonara You Weeaboo Shits

@enderlemeow @enderlemeow @enderlemeow

REBLOG if you have amazing talented artist friends!

I know it's usually much more Eggman's aesthetic, but can you imagine Cave Johnson-style announcements at the GUN Headquarters?

"This is a preemptive caution to all agents: if Unit E-123 Omega decides to insult you, just grin and bear it. We get it, he's kind of an asshat, and nobody likes the way he talks about our insides. But don't even think about it. Do not, and I can't believe I have to spell it out for you all- do not pick a fight with the two-ton walking arsenal. We all know who's going to win that. And it's not going to be you. Help us keep our workplace recordable injuries down this year."

"Good morning agents! If you find that your wallet's gone, don't worry! Rouge is just borrowing it for a little while. You'll find it back in your locker in a few hours. No, we don't know where she puts them. Yes, we are obligated to reimburse you for the funds she does take. No, Dairy Queen coupons are not reimbursable. Not even the special edition ones from your little hometown franchise. Sucks to suck. Agents are advised to purchase wallets with chains, if necessary, just like the one I've got right- oh hell, where'd I- goddamnit- cut the broadcast!"

"Hello folks, this is your weekly reminder- if you think you see a Chaos Emerald sitting around, do not touch it. Check if it's the green one. If so, that one's Shadow's, and he's not too happy when the base gets sent on lockdown because he put it down for a second. He'll be right back. Leave it where it is. But if the Emerald's any other color, still don't touch it! Notify your superior and don't let it out of your sight until the containment boys arrive. Don't touch it. Last poor son of a bitch is still seeing the world through a cyan filter. Friendly reminder that our health insurance doesn't cover that. Good luck finding a doctor who will."

"Urgent warning here. If you see anything blue out of the corner of your eye- if you even think you see a little blur of it, pull the alarm so that the security boys know to rewind the footage. This is very important, folks- if it's Metal Sonic, we need to see what he stole. If it's Sonic, we need to check which door he put the can of paint above this time before the Commander walks through it. If it's something else, god help us all."

sonic the hedgehog tumblr dashboard simulator

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💠 extremegayr Follow

got held up in traffic today cause some noob couldnt drive the fucking loop-de-loop. lmfao fucking coward

15 notes

🎛 420zone Follow

ok but robotnik's kind of a dilf tho

🌫 wispgender Follow

he's literally a war criminal can we NOT do this tumblr

🎛 420zone Follow

📰 its-no-use Follow

@wispgender dont u literally simp for nominatus like who is one to talk

🌫 wispgender Follow

NOMINATUS ISN'T REAL????

🛜 viralsensation-destructorofworlds Follow

that you know of

🌫 wispgender Follow

what

10,672 notes

🔷 sonicinthewild

43,834 notes

☣️ lineinthesand Follow

saw sonic the hedgehog irl once. he showed up at my village, released 30 feral pickys in the town hall, paid the ice cream vendor roughly a thousand rings for a single chili dog, told me not to waste my life worrying about the little things, and then caused a fucking tornado

🧿 spiralhillspindash Follow

ok and??? you're not special

☣️ lineinthesand Follow

THIS WAS A PERSONAL POST GO AWAAAAY

173 notes

🌠 chaoinspace2electricboogaloo

sucks that sticks the badger hates all technology you know she would do NUMBERS on here

568 notes

☸️ r0u3e Follow

being an islander be like "are those the kind of eggsplosions i should worry about or the kind of eggsplosions that are gonna repair our crops, fix the economy, and bring my dead grandma back to life"

🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow

being a continenter be like "oh great what primordial diety has risen from the grave to block traffic and fight a 15yo today"

🥭 chao-official

being a chao be like "chao chao chao chao chao"

🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow

you said it my mans

579,056 notes

🏵 sprinkles-the-chao Follow

hold on if sonic the hedgehog is jewish then how is he santa claus

🤖 e123-omegaverse Follow

dont question him

85,628 notes

☣️ sparkygoboom Follow

hey guys real question are human/mobian relationships problematic

💠 extremegayr Follow

op is about to start the anthro church schism of the fifteenth year all over again

🛞 mobotropolis Follow

ok but in all seriousness did your mom never teach you that part of history

🎢 marxiobros Follow

someone doesn't know about the united federations public school system

🛞 mobotropolis Follow

what the fuck is a public school

⏭️ drowningmusic Follow

⚄ paradoxprism Follow

are we gonna talk about op's chaos radiation fetish

💠 extremegayr Follow

OP'S WHAT NOW

🏞 mobiancrossing Follow

ok but am i the only one who thinks that the public school system would be a good idea if handled right? like i know it's traditional to learn from your parents and then experience the world on our own from the ages of 7-13 but like combining all our knowledge and learning together doesnt seem like a bad idea

☠️ fabian-vane-number-1-hater Follow

bitch that's what the internet is for

🌅 s0leanna-apple-barrell

yeah where else am i gonna learn to make infinite chaos emeralds

❇️ freesurge Follow

"infinite chaos emeralds" that's called the phantom ruby

🏳️‍🌈 rainbowwispforgayrights Follow

everybody on this site has brain damage

❇️ freesurge Follow

yeah. from the radiation

603,573 notes

🐸 froggysfriend

caught this today

🏝 digginginthegroundfortubers

if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope eggman blows us all up as punishment

950,420 notes

🐊 teamchaotixofficial

Hey guys! Sorry to do this again but rent's a little tight this month :( If we've ever solved a case for you guys or made you guys smile, please consider sending a ko-fi our way! we just need a few rings to get through the month <3

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🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow

do we ever talk about that time the sky turned blood-red and shadow the hedgehog's demon dad descended from on high to murder us all and we only barely survived

❤️‍🔥 songoose4evr Follow

shadow fixed it it's fine

🎮 n0cturnity

yeah that was like twelve apocalypses ago move on

🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow

kinda wanted to bang black doom tbh

🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow

THE DEVIL???? FROM THE BIBLE????

🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow

yeah. move over gayboy i'm boutta be shadow's new dad

856,301 notes

🗑️ berrybarry

starting a conspiracy that time hasnt moved since 2006

🗑️ berrybarry

why the fuck was i shadowbanned after posting this

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🤡 clownfinite Follow

tfw you finally save up enough rings for ice cream and you go outside and get hit by swatbot pieces and the rings just go fuckin everywhere

587 notes

🔷 sonicinthewild

34,452 notes

🌌 h-o-l-o-l-y-n-x

so did y'all see that genesis wave or was it just me

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🆙 planetsgiantcrack Follow

the virgin tweeter "if you use a bad word in the same tweet as the word 'cream' you get obliterated off the site" vs this chad site of "i want to put knuckles back in a microwave"

💟 presidentyaoi Follow

BACK????

69,849 notes

⬜️ chao-and-wisps-4-ever-so-cute-2 Follow

ok posting my first fanart to this site pls be nice! <3

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🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

why does tails look like he's always about to say "it fucken WIMDY"

🦊 miles-prower-official

Hello, @emeraldfwuitgummy!

I actually quote that image on a constant basis! Sonic thinks it's hilarious every time. He's quite the fan of memes, and it's nice to get a laugh out of him!

Formally,

Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TAILS WAS ON THIS FUCKING SITE OR--

🏅 iwishhumanswerereal Follow

do. do you not know he created tailblr. dude it's in the name lmao

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

he

WHAT

🍭 milfwisp Follow

didn't eggman invent this site???

🪫 veganswatbot

THE EGG ABANDONED SCRAMBLR IN ITS TIME OF NEED AND THE FOX RAISED US FROM THE ASHES. YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIM

🦊 miles-prower-official

Hello, @milfwisp and @veganswatbot!

Very good question! This site was Eggman's until I ate his bones. Thank you for engaging! :D

Formally,

Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

YOU

WHAT

🌭 sonicsays

what's not clicking

realtalk: i can’t wait for AI to get better to the point where you can have a legit conversation with your computer or phone just for the heck of it imagine how innocent they’d be, and like they don’t know what swearing is until you teach them then they go overboard with it like a child and hhHHHG

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

My job as a demon is to take requests from those who summon me in return for their souls. It’s amazing! But it’s always the same requests. That’s why I promised myself I wouldn’t eat the soul of the one to give me a brand new request. Nothing new. Until today. “Can you be my girlfriend?”

Pokemon Crochet Pattern Masterlist

Never thought I'd finish this but I finally tracked down a crochet pattern for EVERY Pokemon*. Gonna say that 85% of them are in English but there's a few I could only find in other languages (should still be understandable for the most part), ~30% of them also have videos, a majority have images but a handful are text only... Give me another day and I'll put together another post with more stats lol

You can find the list in this spreadsheet, with links to at least one pattern for every Pokemon, videos if applicable, names/websites of their designers.

*Up to date as of 4/1/2025 with at least one entry for each Pokemon, but not every single alternate/variant

I see I see

met this guy at work today