I Am In This State Of Perpetual Fight Or Flight. Survival Mode.

Opening up to someone and being vulnerable seems great on paper but looking into their eyes and opening that door to that dark room in your mind. It feels like labor pains.

I'm crying real tears you guys🥲that ending😱wtf!? Neuman!? Grace!? Kimikooooooo!!!!!! Noo noooooo😭😭😭😭😭

Wtf happened to Ashley?! Ryan!? I am literally screaming because wtf, wtf, wtf

Femme Fatale Playbook: Unleash Your Dark Feminine Energy

Cultivate your sense of self: Let go of your people-pleasing tendencies. Discover your values, likes, dislikes, goals, and dreams. What are your most genuine desires? What gives you energy? Who and what ignites a fire inside you? Write down your list of core values and 'rules for life.' You deserve a personal manifesto.

Build your cult of personality: How do you want your authentic self portrayed to the masses, your inner circle, partners in business, or pleasure? Which aspects of your personality do you want to be associated with your personal brand? How do you dress, smell, and carry yourself? How do you do your hair, nails, and makeup – what's your 'signature' look? What industry, professional, and social circles/activities do you want to be associated with? What hobbies, favorite meals, music, and destinations, should be synonymous with your name? Over time, these aspects of other people's lives with be synonymous with you. Elevate yourself with this allure of living through association. It encourages others to perceive you as equally relatable and unattainable.

Refine your wardrobe, speech, and habits: Streamline the external and internal aspects of your personal brand. This attention to detail demonstrates that you value yourself, your appearance, and your presence with others.

Set goals: Professional, financial, health, relationships, self-development, creativity, and pleasure. How do you want these areas of your life to look? What activities can you engage in to feel fulfilled, successful, and desirable in each category?

Construct routines, habits, and systems that serve you: Cultivate a ritual for every aspect of your life and time of day. Set a morning routine, night routine, diet and workout plan, workflow and schedule, budget and investment plan, relationship and sexual expectations to help you achieve your goals.

Indulge daily: Drink your favorite coffee in the morning, invest in high-quality skincare and pajamas, have that glass of wine after work, listen to music that speaks to your soul, draw, sing, dance, write, create a vision board – find ways to make your soul feel alive every day.

Set Boundaries: Protect your peace at all costs. Your life is for you. Decide what behaviors, people, and circumstances you will accept. Know when to compromise and when to walk away. Your life is for you.

Seduce yourself daily: Write and say affirmations, admire yourself in the mirror, and engage in activities that make you feel more confident (in your body and mind). The perception of an alluring personality starts with the habits you practice alone.

You become magnetic once you make peace with and work daily to live as your true self.

It still feels unreal. I am stepping into her but I feel all out of sorts, it's quiet strange.

Someone posted this in my discord chat the other day and I’ve been thinking about it nonstop bc this girl is the most correct girl I’ve seen in far too long and she’s right!

Femme Fatale Guide: Habits To Become Your Best Self In 2023

Some habits, routine ideas, and mindset shifts to help make 2023 your best year yet. Hope this helps and inspires you to reach your goals for the next 12 months. Remember to work hard and take care of yourself. Once you put your mind to it, the sky is the limit! xx

Make Your Meals Plant-Based & Produce-Focused: Center your meals around a variety of vegetables, fruits, plant proteins, potatoes, and unprocessed plant-based fats (avocado, nuts, seeds) and minimal whole grains.

Get Creative With Stress Eating Substitutions: Discover healthy swaps for your meals and snacks to ensure what you're eating without sacrificing your goals. Some simple substitutes include mixing in cauliflower rice into your whole grain rice to add nutrients/volume while slashing the calories, using half an avocado with lemon as a salad dressing over spoonfuls of olive oil, swapping meat for lentils in a chill, soups, or stir fry, choosing frozen grapes or whipped bananas with berries over candy or ice cream for a sweet treat, etc. Remember: Spices and seasoning are your best friends.

Be Mindful of Your Beverage Consumption: Consuming enough water is essential. However, if you get bored with water, add some herbal and black tea, black coffee, or fruit-filled water into the mix. Cinnamon, vanilla, and apple or peach teas are great options to satisfy cravings and prevent mindless snacking (not a substitute for food – eat if you're genuinely hungry). For the winter season, try using some pure cocoa powder with hot water, vanilla extract, and a tablespoon or two of plant-based milk for a healthy hot cocoa drink.

Prioritize Long Walks: Carve out 1-2 hours of your day to get 10-12K steps in at least 5 days a week. Go outside if possible or jump on a treadmill/walking pad to get in some movement while watching TV, talking on the phone, or catching up on some emails.

Find A Simple Resistance Workout You Love: Yoga, pilates, or an at-home weight-training or body-weight exercise you can do at home. Browse different YouTube videos for 10-30 minute workouts to try or sign up for a class in your local area to make it a more social experience (and force yourself to take accountability to show up in the first place).

Create Short & Long "Bookend" Routines: Create a simple routine for the beginning and end of the task-filled portion of your day. For most of us, these routines would be done in the morning and evening/at night before and after work, school, or doing chores/errands. Let go of the rigid idea that these routines need to be done at certain times of the day. Set yourself up to win and tailor them to your schedule. Consider these short routines (like drinking a cup of coffee/tea, reading, meditation, journaling, a walk, or a short dancing session) your warm-up and cool-down sessions of the day. Having these rituals to look forward to will give you the energy and motivation to do what you need to get done each day.

Practice This 10-10-10 Mindfulness Practice: Make time for at least 10 pages of reading, 10 minutes of meditation, and 10 minutes of journaling daily (This can include shadow work) either in the morning or nighttime to clear and reset your mindset for the day.

Take An Hour To Plan Out Your Week: It's most convenient to do this power hour on a weekend (I typically reserve an hour before dinner on Sunday for weekly planning). Write out all of your main work tasks, schedule any due date reminders (for work, bills, chores, and other life necessities), must-do errands, emails and calls or appointments to make, etc.). I like using the Productivity Planner from Intelligent Change and my Reminders app/Google calendar via iCloud to sync deadlines and times to schedule messages/tasks/bills, so everything will be in front of me at the correct time throughout the week.

Prioritize 1-3 Tasks Daily: You might need to choose one large project to work on in small chunks or select a "Big 3" for the day, depending on how complex, lengthy, and time-consuming your projects/errands or appointments are for the day. Using this method allows you to be efficient, streamline your life, and feel productive without overwhelming yourself on the regular (the fastest route to burnout).

Make A Life Admin Schedule (and Stick To It): Choose days (and times if possible) of the week to update certain spreadsheets, batch reply to less urgent messages, clean your house, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. Scheduling these tasks ahead of time eliminates half of the battle for following through on what you need to do. Eventually, you will make these tasks into habitual routines that your brain will allow you to execute effortlessly as though you're in autopilot mode.

Mind Your "Circle of Influence": Do an intake on the 5-10 people you speak to the most or value in your life. If you're an employee, it is probably best to not include your boss or coworkers in this consideration list, as you need to work amicably with them regardless of your personal feelings. Look how you feel during your interactions with your friends, family, intimate partner, or an adjacent love interest. Consider how they speak to you, about themselves, and the topics your conversations are focused around. See if they align with the person you want to be and your goals. Evaluate how close you want to be and what parts of your life you think would be the most beneficial for you and the relationship going into 2023.

Set Boundaries: Understand your expectations, non-negotiables, and limits in every area of your life. Communicate these principles to others clearly, so they know when they are overstepping. Don't tolerate disrespect, but also don't expect others to be mind-readers. If someone knows that they're crossing your boundaries, it is easy to draw the line in the sand and walk away without the guilt or shame that can arise when conflicts originate from a lack of healthy communication.

Incorporate One Creative Practice Into Your Week: Reinvigorate your mind by engaging in at least one hour of creative activity per week. Try drawing, creative writing, poetry, singing, dancing, painting, pottery, jewelry making, graphic design, photography, etc. Even taking a foreign language course or creating a Pinterest inspiration/mood board or organizing your home/closets in an aesthetically-pleasing way counts. Figure out what creative outlet(s) you find satisfying. Prioritize scheduling this practice into your schedule weekly.

Refine Your Signature Look: Edit your wardrobe, try out a new haircut, or change up your makeup routine, nail color, or signature scent. Consider how you can close any gaps between your authentic personal style and how you present yourself on a day-to-day basis. Create an inspiration board if needed to help yourself define your unique aesthetic and gradually work towards embodying your ideal look.

Keep A "Praise" Archive: Create a record of all of the messages you receive highlighting your achievements, milestones, recognitions, or compliments. Compile a folder that acts as your "praise" archive for every area of your life. Create a folder in your work email inbox to save all of your professional achievements, praise, and positive contributions. Do the same for your personal email. Create a folder in your photo album of screenshotted texts. Keep a running list on your "Notes" app of any compliments you receive on your conversational contributions, actions, attire, personality, smile, etc. Hyping yourself up to connect to your highest self.

Create A "Siren" Kit: Take note of all of the clothing, scents, songs, cosmetics, phrases, people, and other aspects of your environment that empower you to feel your sexiest. Keep all of these items/songs/texts together to make it simple to set the mood before engaging in some indulgent action or revisit when you need a boost of confidence throughout your week.

Do A Financial Audit: Create an income/expenses spreadsheet to understand your current spending behavior and budgeting plan going forward. Set up your 2023 financial goals and projections, including target amounts for income, savings, and investments.

Give Yourself A Weekly "Treat": Find a healthy indulgence that you can strategically incorporate into your week. This "treat" can be a massage or nail appointment, permission to watch a movie or a couple episodes of a TV show, a serving of your favorite dessert or a glass of wine, etc. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Consider regular indulgence as an act of self-care not as a sign of weakness or self-destruction. Embracing pleasure does not require guilt or external permission.

Happy New Year, loves! Cheers to an abundant 2023 xx

#spoiler alert: So I'm watching lessons in chemistry and I am at the beginning of episode 2. I love their chemistry so I get curious because from the snippets I see from tick tock she is raising a child alone and I am not a patient person, I search what happens to him and I oop🥲the vulture review broke my heart

♡ channel your inner elle woods and dive into your studies with a “what, like it’s hard?“ mindset

studying will only be hard if you assume it to be. uplift yourself before starting your study session. go on a rampage on how you’re the best student at your school and that you’re successful at everything you do! the only person that will be with you from the beginning till the end is you. be your own cheerleader despite it all.

♡ romanticize your studies

life is better when you romanticize it and nothing beats playing some music to level your head, looking at photos & scenes of your favorite characters studying and acing their tests! 

clean your desk, light some candles, buy cute stationary, pretend you’re being filmed, visualize how it would feel when you have straight A’s and see that perfect score on the corner of your test/exams.

make a playlist with a cute cover and choose a vibe. dark or light academia? classics? rnb? cafe jazz? make it fun. mix it all together or make multiple playlists for the different moods you’ll be in. don’t listen to lyrical music. i recommend brown noise! and going to a cafe or a library helps me focus a lot. the background chatter doesn’t ever get too much for me so it gets easy for me to tune it out.

bambi’s supplies:

kokuyo campus binder notebooks

papier planners

laohaster aesthetic highlighters - 1 & 2

tombow dual brush pen markers

0.35 pens + muji 0.38 pens

paper mate gel pens

aesthetic book tabs

kraft paper sticky notes

index card case

♡ finding a study place

i love to study at libraries and local cafes. i also use this time to go on adventures to explore my city and find hidden gems. make sure it’s a place where you like the vibe, there are no distractions. something about looking like that mysterious, studious girl who stays to herself >>>>

before you indulge in your studies, be aware of your surroundings. get familiar with the place by grazing your eyes over the area and begin :)

make a checklist of all the items you need. laptop, charger, pens, notebooks, textbooks, a book to read if you want to spend more time at the place you’re at, headphones, calculator, etc!

if you’d rather stay inside, make your area is clean of clutter and clear of distractions.

♡ time management 

now that you’ve set out a place, let’s talk about time. what hours in the day work for you? morning, afternoons or at night? what weekdays work the best for you to keep up with this schedule?

be reasonable with yourself here. pick a time where your schedule is free and you won’t be distracted by obligations. tell your friends and family you’ll be busy during those hours on selected weekdays, not everyday will be the same. life can be hectic so this is where you take responsibility. work around your appointments. make use of your time and run flash cards while you wait to get called in or you’re in line, while you exercise, get creative! 

setting time away to eat and make sure you drink enough water is not equally but more important than any other thing. take care of yourself. 

utilize your time wisely. no one and nothing is going to achieve those goals. you are. 

now, let’s actually get into how i study. 

♡ scheduling & staying on track

create a system that works for you. keep a list of all of your assignments, finals, exams, tests, projects in an excel spreadsheet organized and ascended by the due dates and the progress of its completion. here are two very simple examples i made. 

as you progress through the list, it’s always so good to see the growing checkmarks! like yes, you did that and you can continue doing so! i always advocate for keeping track of your accomplishments no matter what ♡

as for day to day classes and schedules, you can use notion or google calendar. there are plenty of cute and practical templates out there to use.

let me know if i should share mine or make some

♡ how i study, stay ahead, and be the best student i can be

the most important thing a student can do is put themselves first! find out what works for you. your strengths, your weaknesses, and obstacles you tend to come across and work around them to make the best out of it. 

we’ve already covered the topics of time and place so great! now, that you’re all set, additional things i keep in mind to make sure i am all nice and comfortable are…

making sure i am comfortable. the temperature, clothes i am wearing, if i feel safe at the cafe/library/room i’m in.

i can’t focus or do anything on an empty stomach so get a small meal before you start and keep water and snacks with you!

the most important questions of all: are there any illnesses you have that affect your studying and focus? what is something you often find that gets in your way?

as hard as dealing with illnesses gets on a daily basis, it’s easy to forget that it can affect your studies just as much. you need to work with them. i used to think i was stupid, slow, and downright crazy for not understanding material right away or for how easily distracted i got because of my random bursts of energy. then it just dawned upon me one day and i said “oh… duh?”

so, what did i do? i found out what worked for me, monitored my studying techniques and personally modified them to work better with my attention deficit.

tackle the important tasks first. low maintenance assignments like reading and writing notes on a section, annotations, and worksheets can wait if they’re easy but this way might not be for everyone. 

the reason why i advise this is because at the beginning of a study session, i have the most energy/brain power so i’d rather shift my energy towards the assignments that need more of my focus!

plan what tasks you intend on focusing on that day. look at your assignment spreadsheet. which ones are more important/urgent? due the soonest? write them out in order and follow the list.

immediately writing down my thoughts. i’m very forgetful so making this a habit has helped me so much for when i get any new ideas and remember to do something very important.

find out what learning style fits you. visual, auditory, reading and writing, kinesthetic. making powerpoints, study guides, drawing diagrams, color coding systems, interactive notes. cater your study methods to your needs. here is a pinterest board with examples!

take a self assessment quiz. if you want, check these quizzes out to figure out what kind of learner you are and what study habits you can improve! remember that you can always be more than one thing just because quizzes give you a single result. you know you!

active recall. it’s a study method to help with retention, memorization, and informational retrieval. it reduces forgetfulness all the while actively stimulating your brain rather than writing notes, highlighting text information. 

separate the topics + subtopics and in the end, when you feel confident, jumble them together.

flashcards! i love them. you can use quizlet which has a spaced repetition system where it will bring back material you got wrong so you can focus on it extensively. physical flashcards and manually having to write them out is also a form of memorization!

practice testing (not multiple choice) online or finding them on a textbook, ask a friend to quiz you or ask questions to yourself and try to answer them accurately.

pretend to give a lecture. i love this one the most because if you know the subject very well, you can pretend to explain it to a peer and even a middle schooler so that it gives you a chance to simplify the material so it’s easy for them (and you) to retain. 

while using flashcards and lecture techniques, it helps me when my adhd flares up and i really can’t seem to stay still or keep from making noise. i can walk around my room & talk aloud, walk on a treadmill, and move my body!

i study until it becomes natural for me to know the answer, not because i recognize the term.

check your work and understanding to make sure that all of the information you’re studying is correct! it won’t hurt to do a little review here and there. you never know when a mistake might’ve snuck it’s way in.

make your own study guide. (if that’s your method) for every unit and section, covering every topic. this can be on google docs and whenever you learn something new that you think is important to know, add it via docs app or write it on a notepad so that you can fill it in later.

on the go. you don’t have to do this ALL the time (or at all) but if you think you need more time to soak your mind with information but you’re on a bus, waiting in line, etc. pull out your flashcards or google docs app to quickly review. there’s no harm in that! (just make sure you’re aware of your surroundings please)

OFFICE HOURS! go to office hours even if you don’t have any specific questions or struggles! it’s always an extra learning opportunity because you can listen to teachers and teaching assistants answer questions you might have later on AND the more you attend office hours, you’ll build a connection and get to know the teachers. that is always important.

starting assignments ahead of time. don’t put off working on a project just because it’s due in 3 weeks or so. start ahead of time so you don’t stress yourself out and cram. stretch them out. plus, even if you don’t actually put yourself to work, get a feel of the materials you’ll need to know, the instructions, etc because if you have any questions, you’ll have more/easy access to teachers for help since not many people will be there at the beginning of when a project is assigned.

ADVANCE READING! this is so fun to do. you basically just read ahead on current/future topics the teacher will cover to grasp onto the information. write down any questions you have and personally ask the teacher for a more clear answer for your understanding.

i love doing this because when the time comes of the teacher covering the topic, light bulbs just keep going off in my head! it’s exciting. it gives me room for me to retain and write any additional information the teacher says.

do not multitask. remember, if multitasking has always worked for you, don’t stop! for me, it’s truly better to focus on the task at hand to strengthen skills and concentration rather than having to do 2 or 3 different things at once. efficiency is key and staying true to one task at a time is the best way to do so.

BUT when my adhd gets in the way, be consistently inconsistent. don’t unnecessarily guilt trip yourself when you suddenly feel like doing another task. go with the flow. follow whatever your brain feels like doing at the moment! MOVEMENT IS MOVEMENT.

additional tip: take breaks at certain times even if you don’t feel like it. like the advice above, it doesn’t necessarily have to be resting. it can be as simple as taking a trip to get a beverage, tidying up your area, something easy & light to keep your mind occupied and to avoid burn out.

 breaking down the assignments into sections. this defeats procrastination. it can seem overwhelming when all the information is pieced together into one so divide the tasks into small sections. 

ex. read one chapter in the textbook, start writing down terms to know, annotate. move onto the next.

study groups. it’s collaborative— a chance to ask and also help others on topics you don’t know and make connections! the smaller the better in my opinion.

don’t look at studying as something you “have" to do. it’s an activity. a choice. it can either be stressful or something you can easily get through— how you approach this will ;

participate! ask questions! don’t be afraid to ask questions and raise your hand to put your two cents in when it’s an open discussion! just do it.

focus on the now. don’t overwhelm yourself by looking at all the assignments you have due. the task you’re working on at the present moment is the one that needs the most attention and focus.

advice from others won’t always work for you. we are all different! what might work for others won’t always work for you. this is why it’s important to monitor your study sessions, habits, behaviors, and find out what works and what you like better through trial and error. 

except for when i tell you to take care of yourself. if there’s anything you should take away from my posts, it is to put your needs first. always!

♡ keeping up momentum. motivation vs. self discipline.

“think of motivation as a power boost at the starting line and your foot pressing on the pedal of your car is discipline, it’s what keeps you going forward on your journey. motivation, as fleeting as it is won’t bring you far but self-discipline will.“

remind yourself of the life you want to live, the businesses you will own, the cases you’ll win, the people you’ll be able to help with your knowledge, the feelings you’ll have because of your amazing accomplishments if you just keep. on. going. 

read the “continuing to strengthen self discipline” section in my dream girl guide post. i guarantee it will help in finding what really works best for you when it comes to identifying roadblocks and how to work around these struggles.

KEEP UP THE MOMENTUM. you’ve been on top of your game so when it comes to engaging in activities that don’t revolve around school work, make it worthwhile. stay off your phone, say no to silly distractions and do something you’ll thoroughly enjoy. paint, draw, write, read a book, go on a walk! this will keep you going in doing your very best every day and it doesn’t have to be a strenuous activity! stagnancy who?

DOING ANYTHING THAT BRINGS YOU JOY AND FULFILLMENT IS PRODUCTIVE. 

♡ the most important tips of all

TAKE BREAKS. GO TO SLEEP. EAT WELL.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

DO NOT PUT THIS ON THE BACK BURNER. you want good grades and to do your very best, that can’t happen unless you TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

if it’s past your usual bedtime and your eyes are drooping, struggling to stay open, how are you able to retain all the information from that moment on? go to bed because then you’ll get a good night’s sleep and you’ll be refreshed for your next day’s class! OR if you don’t have class, you’ll be able to bounce back into studying in amazing condition.

PAMPER YOURSELF. 

good heavens, take a shower, wash your face, go for a walk, move your body, stretch, take time to just stay to yourself. enjoy the silence, play some calming music, watch a show, take a nap. your body is a temple, treat it with love. 

if you’re constantly stressed out all the while continuously flooding your brain with so much information without resting:

it decreases concentration → you won’t be able to retain any new information (so studying is automatically deemed useless) → poor sleep → you attend class and your inability to focus and overall school performance has degraded→ you isolate yourself from social interactions → fall into depression → difficulty picking yourself back up and the list goes on…

in summary, you will not be able to continue and put in your best work.

always remember that pushing yourself past your limit does more harm than good. 

you WILL crash and all that hard work will go to waste once you’re physically and mentally unable to show up for yourself.

and if it means you have to get anything lower than a 80, IT IS OKAY. nothing is worth more than your health. trust me.

♡ helpful resources

zlibrary + openlibrary - free online libraries

websites for research that is not google

weava highlighter - highlight text from pdfs and the web, add and organize notes and be able to access later! lifesaver.

99 legal sites to download literature

speechify - text to speech reader

not robotic. comes in many different voices and languages

aids in: easy reading, improve comprehension, multitaskers

adjustable reading speed

mercury reader - gets rid of clutter from articles for easy reading

grammarly - grammar and writing check

beeline reader - color gradient to help read easier

group your tabs for easy organization (for mac users: control + click)

piktochart - create infographics

spot misinformation - masterpost

desmos - free online graphing calculator

paper rater - essay scoring

pdf2go + cloudconvert - file converters

internet archive - free books, movies, software, music, websites…

slidesgo -  google slides and powerpoint templates

pomodoro timers - tide w/ white noise + otto w/ a website blocker

remember to drink water

more very helpful resources

okay my love! that’s all for this post. i wish you the best! ₊˚⊹♡ as always, here is the google doc version

— kisses from straight a student, bambi ♡

               SCHOOL IS BACK IN SESSION

INVEST IN YOURSELF: FALL + SCHOOL EDITION GUIDE HERE

Amen

Access to me is a privilege. A lost art. A pure pleasure. A wall to climb that leads to the best and most beautiful adventure of your lifetime if you’re willing to make it to the other side.

Leveling up while still in school.