A Dysphoria Venting Poem

I have decided to make emoji art 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💙💙💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💖💙💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💖💖💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💖💖💖💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💖💖💖💖💙💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💖💖💖💖💖💙💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💛💛💛💛💛💛💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖edit: crap. it didn’t work. i’m on my phone

i wanna use this for something but idk what

how the hell does a shitpost about gamer for president have more notes than an emotional poem i put effort into

UPDATE: Wrong pronouns for anxiety friend, they did research and found out they’re nb. I’m out to dwarf friend as well now. I came out to her using an AMAZING character secret reveal during a game of D&D to set it up, and it went great thanks to the incredible DMing of anxiety friend. Anxiety friend will henceforth be referred to as Any (short for Anonymous) and dwarf friend will be referred to as Barrel (in-joke). Barrel and I put together both an amazing outfit for me to wear to the school dance and a way for me to delay coming out to my parent until after said school dance. Unfortunately, this dance is not until later in the school year. That’s it for now!

I just realized it’s been a while, here’s an update on my existence:

- i’m a girl, and i’m not out as one - school’s back, so that’s a thing - made two friends - one is a lesbian with a self-proclaimed resemblance to the dwarves of d&d - the other has anxiety and is a boi - only problem is, he wasn’t born a boi and has religious parents - he’s the only person i’m out to as a girl atm - also my crush, a cis football boi, is an idiot but somehow that makes him cuter I DONT KNOW EITHER

i just realized i’ve been forgetting to post

Holy crap. Please explain how you managed to find the exact right words for this. Because I am amazed

The Closet

i’ve never posted my writing anywhere before but this was so personal to me and i haven’t stopped reading it since i wrote it, so now i guess i hand it off to you. i wrote this at a very low point in my life and, while i am certainly doing better now, i still feel the emotions expressed in this piece quite often. being closeted is hard– it hurts. it really hurts. so, here goes! my writing, now yours as well.

March 3, 2019, 1:07am

Prompt: You knock louder and louder on the door, but nobody answers.

Banging. Thudding. Pounding. Kicking. I’m slamming at the door. I’m trapped, I’m claustrophobic, I’m scared; but worst of all– I’m alone. I have been in here for too long and I’m ready to leave. I miss my friends, I miss my family… I miss the truth. I miss the days when I didn’t see the walls, when it was harder to notice the harsh divide. But almost just as scary- if not scarier- as this deafening isolation is the potential of what’s on the other side of the door. What if it’s worse? I can’t know. “If only the door would just open!” I keep saying to myself. But in my heart of hearts I know it’s for naught. Because this is a door I can only open myself. And I imagine what the world on the other side is like. I fantasize about flying through the door in a burst of color and light, finally happy, finally smiling. A real smile. Not the smile blocked by the walls. A smile that says “I’m free! I’m here! I’m out!” But for now I remain incarcerated. It’s hard to justify, though. Feeling imprisoned when you are your own jailor.

I want to post something but idk what to post, so I’m posting about not knowing what to post. Translation: I got bored

Mah Story! Imma call it Card House

It’s set in a weird mix of medieval, modern, and whenever Al Capone was around. There’s four main suits, or noble houses: the Clubs, who are kinda like the gangster-mafia bois; the Spades, who are like medieval with two shots of modern thrown in; the Diamonds, who are basically stuck in the 90s; and the Hearts, who are the artistic peoples. Each suit has a royal family made up of the King and the Queen. The King and Queen’s child is the Ace, and whoever they marry (or are arranged to marry, that’s important) is the Jack. Once the King and Queen are unable to carry out their roles, the Ace and Jack take over and become the King and Queen. The Jack of Clubs is Jay, the non-binary bartender of Clubs’ Tavern. They’re very flamboyant and extroverted. The Ace is Alex, the quiet server and singer of Clubs’ Tavern. She is pretty quiet when she talks, and is not afraid to deal with any drunks. She look like the least threatening thing there, but she is quite strong. Moving to the Diamonds. The Ace of Diamonds is Aiden. He’s chill, and prefers to relax over anything else. The Jack is Juniper. She’s pretty quiet, and tends to just sit there reading. Now for the Diamonds. The Ace is Ava. She is incredibly homosexual, but the Jack is a guy. He’s not gonna play a big role in the story so we’ll skip him. The Spades are where shit gets real. The Ace is named, well, Ace. He’s the first male Ace in 100 years, and the King and Queen would not budge about who his Jack was. However, his Jack was a lady. He met a boi named James and the two fell in love. Unfortunately, the King and Queen told him that they would never change his Jack. So Ace ran away on his 16th birthday, and he and James have been on the run since. The two will occasionally spend a while in Clubs’ Tavern, where they will be the entertainment after it closes and the people there are people they trust. Ace can play one hell of a guitar solo, James has a singing voice to rival Freddie Mercury, Jay can play the piano like their life depended on it, and Alex plays the drums. I literally added that part so I could have a scene in the story where James and Ace do a love song. So yee! More artwork and story to come!

i want bright hair but i also don’t halp

mood

me: it’s very possible that you aren’t cis

me to me: